오십
Jeongguk's PoV;
"What are you doing here?" She snarled, personality remaining the same even as he was hooked up to multiple drips and machines, her face bruised black and blue and both hands in casts.
"Came to see you, of course." I muttered, sitting in one of the squeaky hospital chairs, mentally appreciating the way that the orange leather was clean.
"Why?" She scoffed, looking exactly like Jeong-ja as she did.
My mother: Jeon Eun-Kyung.
Originally stood at a short height of 5'2 but shrunk to around 5, 4'12.
Constantly grumpy. Always in a sour mood, grey eyes narrowed into thin slits and glared through long eyelashes.
Had a voice that was so sweet and melodic, that it was almost condescending when she spoke to you.
Long, ebony hair that had greyed at the roots as a result of age, though her face remained free of wrinkles (probably a result of the mass amounts of plastic surgery), and tiny hands that were decorated with pointy nails, painted navy.
"You're my mother, why else?" I replied, scratching below my eye in a subtle attempt to move the green contacts that were pissing me off.
"You're no son of mine." She frowned, looking at me directly in the eyes as she did so, "you're not Jung-hyun."
"I am also your son."
Mother shook her head, "it should've been you that died."
Rubbing my face, I sighed in exasperation.
For the sake of Jeong-ja, I had kept my cool with mother so that the family remained somehow together.
I wasn't trying to rekindle our mother-son bond that we had lost when I was younger, I was simply attempting to keep the peace and stay civil, but this hag was not fucking having it in the slightest.
Not at all.
"Thought you might've said that." I replied.
"With those disgusting eyes." She spoke cruelly, shaking, "god, they give me the creeps."
"Knew you would've said that." I said, essentially repeating myself.
Which happened constantly.
Our conversations were always the same, going something like along the lines of: she'd ask me why I spoke to her, I'd reply, she'd bring up Jung-hyun and how I should've died, brings up my eyes and then I'd try and make conversation with her.
"Jeong-ja and Jiwook broke up, you know." I said after a few seconds of silence, picking at the frays on my jeans, making the rips messier.
"I am aware." She replied bitterly, "I'm glad you broke up with Jisom. He might've knocked a bit of sense into you."
"Oh really?" I questioned, chin on my palm, "how so?"
Yes, the conversation was boring and repetitive.
But, Jeong-ja still had the bond with her mother, and who was I to make it awkward?
"All this homosexuality you speak of." She flailed her hands around, in some poor attempt to explain her reasoning, "he might've made you realise that it's a load of absolute baloney."
"Uh huh, and you think getting beaten up would do that?"
"Well, of course. It'd teach you a good lesson."
Fucking hell.
"I bet it would." I nodded.
Crossing her arms, her face stayed stoic and she remained as defiant as ever.
"So, how are you feeling today?" I asked, half-knowing what her answer would be.
"Well, as you can see, I did get hit by a car so you know, not too great. And then you came, so even worse."
"I'm guessing that the morphine didn't do shit then."
"Language!" She scolded, "and clearly not, or I wouldn't be sat here in pain, would I? Absolute idiot."
"In all honesty, I think you're the idiot here. You're sat here in pain, when you know that you're allowed a dose of numbing medicine." I sighed, running my hands through my hair (which now had black roots growing through the magenta dye, leaving me with a somewhat dip-dye).
"I'm surprised that you aren't dumb. You sure seem it." She said lamely.
"Yeah, I'm doing like three subjects at once. Most students do two or take one, with another small one on the side." I replied, checking my phone for the time and seeing tons of messages from a panicked Taehyung, who was asking what to do with a crying person and how Yeontan misses me.
Petal:
Yeontan misses you.
Jeong-ja is still crying.
I don't know what to do.
I miss you too.
Me:
I miss him too.
Put Netflix on, her favourite show is anything about serial killers.
Give her a blanket.
Wrap Yeontan in his yellow blanket.
Not the green one. He hates it.
I miss you too, petal, but I'll be home in a bit.
Do you want anything?
Petal:
Yeah, you.
I want cuddles and kisses.
Not dealing with a crying woman, as lovely as she is.
Please come home.
Me:
I'll be about an hour.
Petal:
<3
Me:
Put one of my hoodies on and have a nap, petal.
Try and convince Jeong-ja to sleep also.
<3
Taehyung sent back a happy face and a love heart and I locked my phone after opening the message, seeing Mother staring at one of the machines with a bitchy face.
"As lovely as this meeting was, I'll have to make an exit." I stood up, sliding my jacket over my arms and adjusting my shirt, "I'm glad we had this talk."
"Get out of my sight before I whack you." She spat.
"Cool." I replied, nodding, "see you later!"
With that, I shut the door as she snarled and went to make another smartass comment.
God love her.
Before I went home, I had just one more destination.
----------------------------------
"Hey bud." I said, grunting as I sat down on the grass, "got you some more flowers."
I placed the bouquet of gladiolus' and chrysanthemums (wrapped in scarlet plastic), on the space before me.
"Been a while since I've come to see you." I spoke, drumming my fingertips on the stone, "I've missed you. Obviously, not as much as I did when you first left me."
I toyed with the previous bouquet which had been left to die, the petals now a light brown colour and wilted, the flowers barely distinguishable. I wouldn't have known what they were had I not been the one to lay them down.
"Suppose you were right. I mean, fuck, you were always right. I really don't know what to do without you." I half-scoffed, "you'd always say that 'I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached to me' and that 'I'd be lost without you'. You're right."
I watched with blank eyes as I crushed the already dead petal between my fingertips.
"I'm stuck. Going in circles." I flicked the hair out of my face, "my life is just a cycle. I have some good, then some bad and then it gets worse and worse. I don't know how to cope with it. Normally we'd go out, have a few drinks and giggles and I'd be over it. But I can't do that now."
I let my head loll down, chin on the bow of my collarbones.
"It's not the same. They're not you." I sighed, "they're lovely. Jungwoo is funny and sweet, same goes for Taeyong, though I know you hated him, I still like him. But there isn't that, uh I don't know, knack? They can't make me laugh uncontrollably by pulling a face."
I allowed my eyes to read over the script set in stone (literally), though I knew by heart what was engraved into the expensive marble.
"Fuck man, I miss you. I miss all of our missions and I miss laughing about shitty customers with you." I sniffled, "every time I hand over a bag of coke to one of the prostitutes, I always remember when you thought that you could make some sort of smoke bomb with the coke, and then we almost ended up dying. It makes me laugh a little, but every time I watch the video, I cry."
Obviously, I knew that I wasn't going to get a response.
"I really miss you. I try and stay happy, because you always told me to 'stop being a miserable fuck'." I smiled, "though, I have someone that keeps me happy the best he can."
I moved the photo frame that sat upon the bed of earth, a picture with his and my face looking back at me, happy glints in our eyes despite the huge bruises and wounds on our face. My arm slung around his wide and shirtless shoulders, healing bullet wound in his skin and my knuckles fair ripped open and both of our bodies covered in endless scarring as we posed excitedly in front of his new car. Our smiles were wide, showing all of our teeth as we laughed at each other in the photo, myself midway through reminding him of an event as he recalled it.
I could almost hear his laugh in my mind. A deep rumble and then lots of quick inhales that were high-pitched. It was goofy but funny and made everyone's hearts lift a bit whenever it could be heard.
"You would've loved him." I sighed dreamily, "he's called Taehyung. He isn't bothered by all the drugs and killing and stuff. He even sits and listens to the stories that I bring up about us. He tells me that he thinks you're funny and you remind me of myself. He hung up my bracelet from you, on a pretty hook so that everyone can see it and there's no chance of it being lost."
I looked up to the sky, seeing that it was beginning to darken and grey clouds were swimming over and clumping together.
"Anyway, I'll have to go. You wouldn't want me catching a cold, or impossibly catching pneumonia from the rain, dummy." I laughed silently at the memory, "I'll speak soon."
I picked up the dead bouquet, standing up straight as I smiled down at the stone and earth.
"Love you man. Hope you're keeping an eye on me from up there." I looked up to the sky, "bye Jay."