Emilia Fowler was never one to chase men who were fixated on others. She was raised to be a strong young lady- a force to be reckoned with. Yet after a moment of weakness she allowed herself to believe he actually cared. Of course she should have known that he was just trying to look for a distraction. It was the day of Potter and Evans' wedding, but she wouldn't know that until much later and by then- it was already too late.
Perhaps if she had just stayed with Ben and Tom like they had planned, none of this would have happened. But she was tired of feeling like the third wheel and craving the company of someone who actually wanted to be with her.
Had she gone to Malfoy Manor would she have found comfort with another man? Another Death Eater who chose their path too young and looking for a distraction?
No- fate would have intervened.
Her anger at him was enough to ensure she ended up in his arms. He broke her in ways she never thought was possible. To think his attention on her was a means to hide his true feelings for another. She always knew about the love he held for Evans, but never did she consider that it meant the love they shared was never real.
At first she was just trying to help out Ben. His closest friend was spiraling into psycho level craziness at a rate that was alarmingly concerning. But somewhere along the way, the days she spent with him became something more. He began to pay attention and noticed her little quirks. He helped her heal just like she helped him move on- or so she thought.
Benjamin Fowler always knew Severus Snape was a flawed person. Obsessed with a girl that had no interest in him romantically, seeking ways to manipulate others around him to gain power, never showing his true intentions. He was always cautious about telling him the truth about his lover - how could he trust him?
They were barely out of Hogwarts, pretending to be adults in a world where being different meant you were killed. Where you took every opportunity to appreciate loved ones. Had he known where Emilia would have ended up, he would never have allowed her to leave. She was distraught enough as it was. Talking about some prophecy rumours, ones that did not involve a summer born boy, but it was enough for her to question her future. Whether she'd ever be able to find someone to fall head over heels for.
He should have told her that she was jut being paranoid. That the mother spoken of in the prophecy was nothing like her. That no matter what, he would always ensure she was taken care of - it would barely make a dent in the debt he owed to her anyways.
But that would mean the illegitimate child, born with a soul so pure it could be used for the darkest of spells, would never have come to be. The beacon of hope for a mother looking for the love she craved. The blissful year she shared carrying the child, the wedding vow she made to cover the truth and the unbreakable vow made to protect her salvation.
Hindsight is cruel like that.
Choices made by broken souls looking for someone to hold the pieces together, would have always been made. At least she had the privilege of watching her little girl grow up in the arms of her best friend- a better father than she could have ever prayed for. But the more shocking change in character was the man who helped her find some peace during her most vulnerable night.
Perhaps the child was his salvation as well.
The only part she found annoying was the fact that he had the audacity to name her after Evans. After all this time, he still chose to name their daughter after the woman he obsessed over.
Watching Lily choose to take her name, even if it was as an alias, made her heart swell with pride. The smirk on Sev's lips could not ruin her mood, nor could the eye roll she got from her husband as they watched from Beyond.
She chose to use her name. Lily Fowler, her baby girl, chose the persona of Emilia Fowler when she wanted to feel powerful.
For that reason alone, Emilia Fowler was confident her baby girl was going to be just fine.
Ben, on the other hand, was more concerned about the mental state of his barely living boyfriend, a man who was trapped in his memories, living a fate worse than Azkaban.
***
Alone in his office, it takes a moment for Severus Snape to realise something was off. It starts with the same nagging thought in the back of his head telling him to find out whether Malfoy completed the task he set him. Things have become too treacherous and with Dumbledore gone, shouldering the burden of two hotheaded impulsive teenagers was not the way he thought fate would bless him.
The son of the girl he still cannot seem to let go of, despite his uncanny arrogant resemblance to his father. Perhaps its' because he never really got to apologise or explain his actions to her. Or perhaps a part of him always wanted her to see him as the hero she did when they were children.
Her best friend and confidant.
To think he once believed he could reconnect with her. In another world where she was able to live and watch her son grow up, a world where the Dark Lord was no longer a threat, another chance for him to let her know despite his actions, they were never intended to hurt her.
A fool's dream.
Then there's Lily- his Lily.
His love for her surpasses that for Evans in a way he never thought would be possible. Of course, he still held Emilia in strong regards and fond memories, but the burning desire to physically use every ounce of his ability to ensure the protection of Lily - of his own flesh and blood - it was both suffocating and freeing. The pride of watching her grow was quickly replaced by the need to protect her. Unlike Evans though, this feeling is exponentially growing. No potion, no distractions, no reassurances from anyone would help ease the worry he had for his little girl.
It makes the distance between them feel all the more painful.
Severus leans against the desk, exhaling shakily. The tremble in his hands is hidden as his grip tightens. His one and only weakness. Ensuring her safety took priority over everything- even if it meant allowing the likes of Weasley to get close to her. Then Malfo- incompetent Malfoy, who allowed his own problems get in the way of their progress.
A cold shiver runs down his spine as he shuts his eyes momentarily. Although every part of him wants to find her and ensure she's hidden far away from the dangers of this impending war, seeking her out would only draw more attention. The Dark Lord already has his suspicions. Knowing the true lineage of Lily would be signing her death certificate.
The night is well underway when Severus releases his grip on the table, his fingers stiff from the lack of circulation. Yet the feeling of dread does not leave his heart.
"Something is wrong," he mutters to the empty room. Grabbing his wand, he whispers the usual spell to reveal the hidden painting. The only painting of Ben and Emilia, a wedding gift. But also his only way to communicate with his old friend, the only other person who could perhaps understand the painful burden it is to be a father. Emilia left the painting long ago, but Ben was often around to give him an echo of the man Lily believes to be her father. To remind him of why he kept the secret; the sacrifices he made to ensure her survival.
His worst fears amplify as the empty black frame stares back at him.
"Something is very wrong."
***
To think a few years ago, Fred Weasley almost held an intervention for his brother after he decided to stage a first meeting with Argent. But fortunately Snape had intervened so Lily didn't end up going to the Yule Ball anyway. Perhaps that was why George felt so inclined to meet Lily the following year - to the point where he'd jinx her trunk.
If only they both knew just how important they'd become to her, but more surprisingly, how she'd find a way to capture their hearts. To the extent where they would be traveling incognito so that they could track her down. The dark clouds seem all too ominous for Fred's liking as peers around the corner to ensure the Muggle street is deserted. Not a soul in sight, not even a whisper, almost as if the universe is daring them to mess up. With a quick check of the time, he turns to check on his brother.
From the moment George witnessed the Portkey activate, his thoughts spiraled out of control, imagining all the different scenarios that Lily could be trapped in. He expected her to Apparate back immediately, but after it became clear that she was not planning to return or could not return, his body went into shut down.
The memory of their last conversation replaying in his head like one of Arthur Weasley's broken VCRs. The arguments they had, the way he punished her for choosing to run instead of talking to him. But in all honesty, George Weasley knew that he was being a jerk. It's a good thing that she took her memories of their relationship away, because nothing can be more torturous than figuring out the exact moment she decided she had no other option but to run. To listen to Dumbledore without even considering the actual long term consequences.
"Georgie?"
Lost in his thoughts, George stares at the wall, his grip on her scarf tightening. How much did Snape know of her plan? As her birth father, it does not make sense for him to just let her walk into a trap. Right?
He's not my father.
"George? You ready?" Fred asks softly as he places a hand on his brother's shoulder. George blinks, the weight of the Fowler secret truly setting in.
"He's not her father," George repeats out loud, making the memory all the more vivid. He had rushed into the Hospital Wing, cautiously approaching the shell of a human in the far bed. It was the empty look in Lily's eyes that caused his heart to sink. She had witnessed her guardian murder Dumbledore. The man who raised her and her only connection to her past.
"What do you mean?" Fred asks sharply, paling slightly.
"I mean he is technically her biological father, but after tha- after Dumbledore, after Malfoy, after everything he's done..." George rambles, trailing off as the panic truly setting in. In his haste to avoid another surprise trap, he may have led her right into Snape's arms. But then would he really harm her? He has been suppressing her memories and powers. He's also capable of dark magic. A painful hole in the side of George's head is enough proof that Severus Snape can be a cruel, ruthless narcissistic bully.
Fred glances at the side of George's head where his hair flops unnaturally. No one has much difficulty telling them apart now. The luxury of being confused for one another is long gone. It's another thing to add to a long list of actions that Snape did and yet another reason to ensure they keep up their haste.
"So what? It sucks, but she still needed to know." Fred replies shortly, but the look in his brother's eyes makes him sigh and kneel down next to him. In a softer voice he adds, "I think she did know, deep down she must have known. She was scared."
His reassurance seems to calm whatever torture is going on in his brother's mind, but his own ears ring with the plea for help Lily gave in the tent when he tried to act peacemaker.
"So why don't you just ask him?"
"I-I can't"
"Why not?"
"I just can't!"
"But why?"
"Because I'm scared!"
Shaking his head in frustration, Fred offers his hand to his brother again. If only he had paid more attention to her and actually listened to her. Of course she was feeling scared. Every other person she cared about in her life had broken her in one way or another.
"She needed to know," Fred reaffirms, the confident edge in his voice faltering slightly. George looks up to meet his eyes, finding a mirror image of guilt and worry. The fact that it had been almost an hour since she had disappeared is one that neither of them could process.
"Do you think she's okay?" George asks, voicing the question that has been burdening his chest ever since they left in search for some answers. Fred replies with a pointed look as he pulls his brother up and pats his shoulders. As soon as he voiced the question out loud, a smile plays on George's lips.
"Mate, I'm scared for whoever she's with," Fred scoffs, a part of him genuinely worried that this may be the tipping point for her powers. "Come on, we gotta find your girl."
"Again," Fred adds, formulating a number of different plans to ensure Lily Argent-Fowler-Snape is unable to disappear like that again.
***
Somewhere far off, in a rundown, forgotten, beachside house, a man hears the scream of young girl. Sitting up, he smiles at the picture frame hanging in front of him, picturing the smiling figure of his lover waving at him.
Turning to the safe that had been locked for twelve years, he punches in the combination to an anniversary, a date he has managed to avoid thinking about for so long but could never really forget regardless of how much they tried to make him.
"GEORGE!"
His pulse races as he quietly grabs the gun and checks that it's loaded. Twelve years he had to wait. But of course the preparation for this day has been mental torture - quite literally.
"It won't be long now Ben," he whispers with a smile as he walks out, gun in hand. Despite not being able to see clearly, this gun shouldn't miss. He'd been training for this moment for twelve years after all. The events of that day replaying in his mind like a broken record.
A reminder.
Children can be monsters.
Peering around the corner, he gets a glimpse of the pale face that is illuminated against the dark sand. Her frightened look does not deter him as he glances back in the direction of the frame.
"Don't you worry my dear, I'll make sure she pays for what she did to you- to us."
Benjamin Fowler, trapped in ink and merely an echo of his character, watches on as the man he loves exits with the intention to kill his daughter. Had Thomas Blacksmith been able to see clearly, had his memory been sound and his mind sharp, he would have witnessed the man he credited for always having a cool head in stressful situations, the man who he marveled for always believing in the best of people, whose dying scream have haunted his nightmares for the past decade, the same man now shedding silent tears; paralysed with fear.
***
"Abs! My man!" Fred greets cheerily as he Apparates onto the doorstep of the pub. His brother does not share the same euphoria as he hastily shuts the door after a quick survey of the area. It took a lot longer to evade Snatchers, despite going through muggle towns to shake them off. As every minute passed into the hour, he could not help but feel that somewhere far off, Lily was in danger.
The elderly man narrows his eyes at the intruders.
"You're late," he snarls into a mug looking like it contains something a lot stronger than Butterbeer.
"I'll have one," George nods to his drink, mimicking the bartenders bitter tone. For a long time, he was guilty of ridiculing the man for his constant drinking and pessimistic outlook of the world. Nothing could make more sense to George Weasley now.
Aberforth's blue eyes widen for a second, before summoning another glass. Fred glances at his brother, the same thoughts running through his mind. How easy would it be for them to look for solutions at the bottom of a Firewhisky or ten. But that's not how Fred Weasley approached problems, he just needed to remind his brother of that fact.
"We don't really have time to si-" Fred starts but it does not take much for him to surrender and allow George to have one drink. They were going to confront Snape after all, Lily's dad. The thought alone was enough to send a shiver down his spine, but it does seem like the most logical step to take.
"Lose someone?" Aberforth asks, summoning a Butterbeer for Fred.
"Something like that," George mutters into his mug. The liquid burns his throat, fuelling his anger for the man that has managed to take more, both physically and emotionally, from him.
The silent exchange between Fred and the bartender goes unnoticed by the broken man. Snape may be dangerous, but he also cares about Lily in some capacity. He raised her as a child and helped her find some control over her powers, that's enough of a reason to find out what he knows - the full story.
Aberforth stares at the young lad, his cold demeanour softening, seeing a reflection of his past self. Tortured by decisions that were out of his hands, burdened by the loss and guilt of a loved one, but most of all, the anger behind how he just stood by.
"She's lucky to have you," Aberforth says, causing George to meet his eyes. "But you're not going to need anymore of that to help you find her." He continues, nodding to the mug. Perhaps this is his purpose in life, to help the next generation in a way that no one could help him.
Fred watches from the other end of the bar, silently pleading his brother to accept the advice. The last thing they both need is a hot-headed George Weasley storming into the castle. Of course any other time, Fred would have gladly joined him on his revenge crusade, but not when Lily's life may be at stake.
A slow minute passes as George's grip on the mug tightens, the whites of his knuckles screaming in pain, his mind racing with the various different ways Snape could react to their intrusion. He seems to have this vendetta against Li- his Lily. At this point, finding out that Snape was behind Lily's memory confusions would not be surprising, especially since he seemingly gave Malfoy instructions to torture her - what possible reason could justify all that?
To keep his true connections to her a secret for so long, it doesn't make sense, which is why he must find out what Lily seems to be frightened to face, George decides silently as his grip loosens.
"Keep yourself safe Abs," George replies in a low voice, offering a smile to the old man.
As the painting of Ariana returns accompanied with Ginny Weasley, Aberforth empties the contents of his mug too, down the drain.
"If you find her-"
"When," Fred corrects him automatically, narrowing his eyes. The thought of anything else has not even entered his mind and the last thing he needs right now is for George to focus on the worst case scenario.
"I'll bring her around," George offers his hand out to Aberforth, respect for him doubling. It's no secret that this mess centers around keeping the secrets of Lily's childhood - the diamond, her curse, her true lineage. Ben Fowler may have been the closest thing Lily knew to be a father, but Snape was always there.
"You guys done gossiping?" Ginny asks leaning against the wall, immediately causing both brothers to smile as they turn to regard their sister. One eyebrow raised, a small smirk playing on her lips, confidence oozing out of her skin as she laughs and embraces them both.
"Let's go."
***
After realising that his best friend was sending him the only warning he possibly could, Severus Snape ransacked the office, trying to find one item that linked him to Lily. A naive part of him still believed that she was safe with the Weasley boy but as each minute passed, the panic became difficult for him to contain.
The torture of having to go through all the different ways he could have prevented this from happening. But of course, his flesh and blood, would never really listen to others. Not when there's a chance they could find the answers to questions that haunt their nightmares. The constant worrying about the what-ifs and could-have-beens look all too familiar to the aging Headmaster.
The last time he saw her, the night of Potter's transfer, it almost looked like she was going to forgive him. She looked so fearless, brilliant, strong, how could he not be proud of her in that moment?
Had Lupin not interfered, they may have had a better connection now. He might have been able to explain his actions to her. Tell her the whole story, or enough of it for her to realise that he was only ever trying to protect her.
The murder of Dumbledore was necessary.
The stolen memories were to protect her.
The control of her powers was paramount to her safety.
Snape growls in frustration as he slams his fist against the table. His chest heaves, head bowed, the empty frame mocking him for yet another addition to his never-ending list of failures.
Dumbledore fed her so many lies.
An incomplete story.
One that he could not reveal to her, not without endangering her life.
The scariest part of it all is that she's the same age he was when the mistakes began. His hunger for power, the need to be seen as worthy in the eyes of a woman whose heart was falling for another, his addiction to the euphoria from inflicting fear through the use of his name and status; how could he prevent her from being tempted by it all?
As if in desperation, Snape turns to the back of his office to a small chest of drawers. Pausing for a second, his hand trembles as he reaches for it. No matter how bad their arguments were, he always knew she would come back to him. At the end of the day, they had each other.
His grip on the handle tightens as memories of a simpler time flash through his mind.
"What if I'm not sorted into Slytherin?" A younger version of his daughter stares up at him. Her dark hair falling in curls as they frame her small face.
"You, mama, even papa were in Slytherin," the concern in her eyes had made him stop in his tracks.
"Do you think the Sorting Hat will know my secret? That I'm actually not Arge-"
Blinking away the tears that formed in his eyes, Snape shuts his eyes for a moment, the ghost-like memory of an innocent child haunting his ears. He convinced her that no matter what her surname is, her true character is always the same. Ben and Emilia, had they been around, they would tell her that no matter what House she was sorted into, they would still love her.
Snape himself could not bring to tell her the reason behind her name choice. Brave, strong, smart, there was no other woman he could think of that would be a better person to be named after.
The thought of Emilia's reaction causes Snape to scoff. He could argue that it is also inspired from her name, but that would not fool anyone. It was Snape's way to finally have Lily to himself. If only he knew at the time how much more he would love his Lily compared to Evans - a notion that would have seemed impossible to the young delusional power hungry man.
The irony of it all is that she ended up being sorted into Gryffindor.
It all made perfect sense to Severus, having had the privilege to raise the girl and watch her grow. Most of her characteristics were picked up from Ben in her early years. Her patience, compassion, ability to notice when something seemed off. Perhaps that was why he never wanted her to know the truth. She needed something to believe in, a memory of a father that she could preserve.
Little did he know at the time, he would have to steal those too.
The only constant in her life was him.
No matter what, they had- have each other.
She always left a drawer of things in his office, but as Snape finally found the courage to pull it open, it was clear that this time, she was serious about cutting ties and moving on. The weight of her decision proves to be too much for the Headmaster as he falls to his knees, silently crying out a desperate plea for help.
As if fate was taking pity on the burdened man, the painting of Ben Fowler yelled for his attention.
"SEV!"
At the same moment, a large crash in the hallway is heard.
"What in Merlin's na-" Snape mutters as he straightens up, wiping down the dust on his robes.
"SEV! She found him. He's going to hurt- he-"
The bangs get louder and closer as Snape narrows his eyes. The Carrows were supposed to be on watch tonight to deal with the rebels. The floor shakes for a second, as Snape grabs onto the counter to steady himself.
"SEVERUS SNAPE!"
A knock on the door makes everything quieten for a second. Severus motions to the painting of his friend to be silent, but Ben's eyes remain haunted, his ears ringing with the sound that made his heart stop. The two men share a look, alleviating some of the burden that Snape felt as a parent to their reckless child.
"I heard a sho-"
The door blasts open as two figures appear in the dust.
"Hello Professor, it feels like an earternity since we caught up."
________________________________________________________________________________
A/N
Hi all, it's been ages! I've finished university - but holy macaroni was it a struggle to get to the finish line. It's slowly dawning on me that this isn't summer holidays - its unemPLOYMENT
Anyways, hope you all are well!
~Saf~