1.1 - Skunkworks
On a fateful day in world history, "Cuddles', a member of the ancient family mephitis mephitis, known as the common striped skunk, found himself free in the woods of Lawndale.
His brothers and sisters, badgers, polecats, other non-striped skunks and other woodland wildlife made their break for freedom after a jailbreak assisted by three college kids from Lawndale State University who also doubled as members of the Animal Liberation Front. Barbara, the leader, was bicycling down the road one day when she could have sworn she saw the eyes of a caged skunk peering at her through the windows of an unmarked van.
She decided to follow the van to its destination, a bricked building with no windows near Lawndale's post office. Eating a nutritious vegetarian snack while keeping notes on unmarked white and gray vans which pulled to the back of the building, Barbara assumed the building was a research facility of some kind, where little bunnies would have their eyelids cut off and doused with perfume. Which meant, of course, that a liberation action would have to take place.
The three ALF members pulled their own van up to the back gates and tasered the guard who came out to meet the vehicle. The doors opened, and the ALFers found themselves inside a large, expensive looking animal research facility.
JACKPOT!!
They spent the next thirty minutes releasing hundreds of animals. There were so many animals that the ALFers would have to open the cages, take as many of the smaller animals as they could, and hope the larger ones could make it to the wild on their own.
When an alarm finally went off thirty minutes after their arrival, the three made a hasty break for the exit -- but steel doors had locked the three college students inside the facility and trapping any animal that hadn't escaped into Lawndale proper. Which, unfortunately for Barbara and her two friends, were only the largest and slowest of the animals. The facility had lost over ninety-five percent of its test stock.
These facts would have been lost on Cuddles. Already, his experiences at the facility faded out of the few neurons that comprised his brain. Operating on instinct, he made his way toward anything that smelled of wildlife, continually running and nibbling on random trash before leaving downtown Lawndale and heading for the suburbs. As a member of the noble skunk family, anything human would have made a hasty retreat if it had crossed his path.
His paths briefly intersected with Steve, a squirrel from the facility. Steve's glowing red eyes, two burning coals lighting up the darkness, might have taken human beings aback -- but Cuddles was not concerned. He sought the safety of the woods, forgetting everything but the peace his small mind sought.
(la la LA la la)
Daria stood on an upside down metal bathtub. "Tell me why I'm doing this again."
"Statue of Liberty," said Jane, "perspectives, from different angles. The muse has hit me and I want to be able to look up her nose hairs."
Daria prayed that Trent wouldn't see her like this, holding up a flashlight and wearing a tiara made out of a paper plate. "Just how many 'perspectives' do you need? My arm is hurting a lot."
"C'mon Daria. 'Lift your lamp beside the golden door!'"
"I will. And I intend to lower it on your tired, poor immigrant head."
"Daria, every great artist must suffer for her art."
"Or make someone else suffer. Which is what I'm thinking about now that my shoulders are starting to spasm."
A third voice intruded. "Dah-RIAAAA!!!"
("Oh, no," thought Daria.)
"Why, Quinn!" said Jane. "Daria, your relief has arrived!"
Daria let the flashlight drop to her side and dropped her chemistry book. Quinn took a look at Daria, who had forgotten the paper plate tiara. "Daria, homemade accessories? I don't even know where to begin with what's wrong with that! And a tiara?"
"Why the hell are you here?" said Daria.
"Mom wants you. She's been trying to call Jane for the last fifteen minutes, and someone picked up the phone but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Something about boats."
"That was Trent," said Jane. "Probably dreaming about being a submarine captain again."
"Why does Mom want me home so badly that she sent you over here?"
"She figured you had been gone too long."
"This is Saturday," said Daria.
"Yeah. But Mom has a day off and she's decided that she wants the whole family together, and God knows why. Hey, look!!"
Everyone turned. A rabbit was chewing on the overgrown grass at the edge of the Lane back yard.
"It's a rabbit. We have those every now and then," said Jane.
"It's so cute! We never have anything in our back yard! Here bunny bunny bunny!"
Quinn began to run after the rabbit.
"Here rabies rabies rabies," said Daria. The rabbit began making tentative steps towards the safety of the wooded perimeter of the Lane property.
"Quinn, or a rabbit? Which one is smarter?" said Jane. She began to run after Quinn. "This oughta be interesting!"
"Hey, wait! Those are the woods! Don't go in the woods! There are flying monkeys in there!" Daria tried to stop Jane, but Jane disappeared.
Daria sighed. She'd have to run. Which is what she hated to do more than almost anything, except staying at home on a Saturday.
(la-la-LA-la-la)
After ten minutes of trotting in Doc Martens, an out of breath, sweating Daria finally caught sight of Jane. Jane, even in black pantyhose, had barely broken a sweat.
"Man," whispered Jane, "I wish I had my camera! Quinn's after that rabbit like there's no tomorrow!"
"My Dad will teach her how to point and fetch ducks next. C'mon Jane, with any luck, Quinn will get lost in the woods and I can be an only child."
"Shhh!! Quinn's almost got it cornered! Let's sneak up on her!"
Quinn, sweating too but forgetting about the unfashionableness of exertion, had finally trapped the critter near some bushes. There was one bush, it was moving, and the rabbit had to be near it.
"Oh, you're so cute! Here little rabbit! I have some grass for you!!" When Quinn began to resort to baby talk, Daria and Jane began to sneak up quietly behind Quinn, to scream at the most appropriate moment.
Quinn got closer to the rabbit. Daria and Jane got close to Quinn.
Daria and Jane screamed! Quinn leapt two feet in terror!
And Cuddles, looking for food, decided that he was now under attack and should defend himself.
(la la LA la la)
If it had been dark, Cuddles's toxic skunk spray would have brought up daylight in the woods for a hundred yards.
It was as if someone had trapped a lightning storm in a spray can.
Daria, Quinn, and Jane were all hit by Cuddles's bolt. Aside from six footprints, the grass caught fire around them as Cuddles finished his spray.
The blue-red lightning caught all of them by surprise. Cuddles's attack only took five second from start to finish, but there were some interesting side effects.
Quinn's smiley face T was given an ugly gash and her right sneaker was knocked off her foot, to be found later forty feet away. Her hair literally stood on end, and two fingernails were simply blown off her right hand. She would have screamed in pain if she could have formed a sound.
Jane's black pantyhose burned off her legs. This could have caused third-degree burns if not for the fact that the pantyhose were also blown off her legs by the force of the blast.
Daria's glasses cracked with the blast. The metal zipper on her jacket melted shut and her left boot caught fire for a few seconds. It proved to be no problem, however, as it simply smoldered out while the three girls lay unconscious.
All three girls were still alive. Cuddles, happy that the threat was gone, resumed his foraging.
...
Moments passed. Daria was the first person to get up. Her glasses were broken, and she had trouble seeing anything at a distance. She took off the glasses and stuck them in her pocket.
Quinn and Jane were lying in front of her. Daria was in shock. Were they dead? Were they dead?
Quinn moaned. The second Daria heard Quinn stir, she ran to Jane.
"Mommy?" said Jane.
"No, Jane. I'm afraid it's me."
"Oh Daria. I just had...the most...wonderful dream...and you were there too, Auntie Em!"
"Shut up." Daria turned to Quinn, who had crawled to her knees and tried to stand up. Daria ran over to her before she could collapse.
"Quinn? Quinn?!"
"Mmmm...." Quinn muttered. "Daria, shut up. You don't know how much trouble we're all in...."
"I think we were hit by lightning. Or something. We're all alive."
"And we don't stink," said Jane. "Or did I just imagine that skunk attacking us?"
"When Mom finds out...."
Quinn left the threat unanswered. It was left for the others to answer the question.
"So we hide it. We don't tell anyone what happened!" Jane was already trying to make up something half-plausible.
Daria spoke up. "I'm sorry, but you look like hell. My glasses are broken. What are we going to make up? We don't even know if we're really that well."
"Maybe we're dead and we're dreaming," said Quinn.
"None of my dreams would have you in it. Unless they were nightmares."
"Ha ha, very funny!"
"The fact is, we got hit by a lightning bolt. We could be seriously injured. So seriously injured that I'm going to have to break one of my most sacred rules." Daria paused, "Namely, Tell Mom Everything."
(la la LA la la)
"Daria, I intend to stay here all night with you girls!!" Jake and Helen looked devastated as Daria sat up in the emergency room. Her clothes had been discarded and she was left with a formless-looking hospital gown.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Morgendorffer, but we intend to keep Daria in critical care for observation overnight. We've done X-rays and an EEG, and I can't detect any cardiac damage. Some small first degree burns on Miss Lane's legs and your daughter Quinn seems to have lost a couple of fingernails. I don't know if they'll grow back, but that seems to be the least of your worries right now. They need to stay overnight for observation. We'll do a CT scan at the first opportunity, and if we don't detect any brain damage, we'll let them go tomorrow."
"Brain damage?" Daria smiled. "Sorry -- but it's too late for Quinn, Doc."
"Daria!" said Jake. "How could you go off in the woods by yourselves! You don't even know what's out there! God damn it, you're not allowed to go anywhere again!!"
"I'm sorry, Dad. It was Jane, Quinn and I against a rabbit. I thought the three of us could take him on. I just didn't know he'd have a gun."
Jake turned red. "A gun? Damn rabbit!!"
Helen stepped in. "Jake!! Daria, I intend to be back as soon as possible. I want you to do everything the doctors tell you to do!"
"Stop. Don't leave me here with these madmen."
"I've already talked to Quinn and Jake and I will stay in the hotel nearby. The nurses have been told to call me if you need anything from home. Daria...."
Helen sighed. "Daria...I'm just so glad that nothing happened."
"Well...I lost my glasses and one of my boots got burned. On the other hand, Quinn lost two fingernails. I guess you take the good with the bad."
(la la LA la la)
Jane was wheeled down to the CT scan room. Trent walked along side her.
"Hey Janey."
"Hey, Trent. Take a look." Jane raised her left arm, showing Trent the IV tubing. "My own private supply."
"Good one. You're not in pain, are you?"
"Well, my legs don't feel that great. Although it could have been a lot worse." The guerney rolled over a metal strip on the floor. "You better watch this guy, Trent. I don't think he has a license."
The three of them rolled up to the CT imagining room. A young, blonde technician stepped forward. "Hello...Jane Lane?"
"That's me! Lightning Girl!"
"Hello, I'm Sandra. I'm your CT technician. I'm going to be guiding you through the process."
Trent nodded. As the only adult in Jane's life, he signed the permission papers. A contrast solution ran through the IV, and the radiologist removed the IV now that it was about time to do the procedure. Jane would pass slowly under a clamshell-shaped X-ray machine, and the information from the X-rays would be interpreted as a three-dimensional image that would be interpreted by the radiologist.
Jane had been offered a sedative but refused it. She thought the procedure would be fun.
"Now Jane, you're not wearing anything metal, are you?"
"No. My brother on the other hand...!"
"Right. Mr. Lane, you'll have to stand behind the barrier. The procedure shouldn't take that long."
Trent went behind the barrier as the technician closed the door. Jane hopped over to the
slab that would feed Jane into the machine like a loaf of bread is fed into an oven. The mental image disturbed Trent.
The technician began to push a few buttons and the machine started up.
And, immediately stopped.
The lights of the hospital flickered for about three seconds. Then the hospital's emergency generator switched on.
Trent looked up. Not a problem. The technician, however, began to work furiously with the CT device. Finally, she gave up in exasperation and left the room. Jane sat up on the scanning table.
"Mr. Lane, it appears that the CT is...uh...broken. I don't think we're going to do the CT, at least not today."
"Uh...if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not do this. Janey looks all right to me."
"Well." The technician had been put on the spot. "I think a lot of people today might have to have their scans cancelled. I'll call the aide and we'll take Jane back to her room."
The technician made a phone call back up to Critical Care. The nurses would have to be the ones calling the doctor. Sandra looked at the two names next on the list, Quinn Morgendorffer and Daria Morgendorffer. She wondered if they were related, then thought about if she were going to have to work for the rest of the day or if they would put her on call.