It didn't get better as I thought it would, he was still avoiding me and I helped him by staying away from him. He was usually out of the house before I even woke and didn't return till late, I know because I stayed up till he came home and enter his room before I went to sleep. Yes, I cared about his well being even though he didn't care about mine.
Everything that was happening was driving me crazy and my emotions were all over the place. One moment I'm crying, the next moment I'm angry at him and the other I'm totally fine. I mostly kept to my room until I was sure he had left before coming out to wander around the house like a ghost and today was no different.
It was a Wednesday and after he had left for work. I left my room and went downstairs to find something to eat.
After I had finished having my breakfast, I decided to get productive instead of just lazing around. Why not stock up the fridge with food, I thought to myself. It would save me time, I wouldn't have to worry myself on days I was too tired to cook and Alex wouldn't have to starve when he gets home late and hungry.
I checked the pantry for the necessary things I would need. The pantry was well stocked, Mrs Amelia must have ordered for it to be done. I carried the items I will need three at a time to the counter and started with the task at hand.
After hours of cooking and trying various recipes, I had seven food containers cooling on the kitchen island. As I was washing the dishes, I heard my phone ringing. For some insane reason I thought it was Alex calling. But then why would someone who was trying to avoid you call you, I thought to myself.
I hurriedly wiped my hands on the napkin and checked the caller ID. It was an incoming FaceTime video call from my Nana. I was beyond excited as I hit the answer button.
"Nana!!" I happily said as I saw her face.
"Owww my dear child. I'm so sorry for not calling earlier" she apologized.
I wanted to be mad at her but I couldn't. She was my grandmother and no one got mad or angry at their grandmother.
"You look great Nana. And I love your sun dress. How are you tho? And Mrs Amelia?" I asked as I walked to take a seat on one of the chairs in the kitchen all the while holding the phone to my face.
"Thanks dear. I'm fine so is Amelia. She went to the bar to grab a drink. She will be back soon so you can talk to her. How are you and the baby. Is Alex taking good care of you" she ranted on.
"We are fine Nana, and yes he's taking care of me just fine" I replied with a smile.
No way I was going to tell my Nana he was being his old self again. I was a good person, I didn't bad mouth people and I wasn't going to start now.
"Well, lift the phone up so I can see you fully. I want to see how you coming along"
I did as my Nana told me, holding the phone up so she could fully see me and I even gave her a sideway view.
"Mmmm You have rounded up well. Do you know your due date now"
"Yes Nana, between 31st July and 6th August. You guys will be back before then right?"
"We sure will Zana"
I heard Mrs Amelia at the background asking my Nana to pass her the phone so she could also talk with me.
Soon my Nana's face disappeared and Mrs Amelia's face popped up.
"Dear how are you and my grandchild" Mrs Amelia asked as she sipped whatever was in her glass.
"We are fine Mrs Amelia"
"I called Alex the last time and he showed me the sonogram. He couldn't keep quiet about hearing the baby's heartbeat" she said with a small chuckle.
"That's great" I replied sweetly but deep down I was hurt.
He couldn't share his excitement with me too?
"I hope he's talking very good care of you?"
"Yes he is"
"Wonderful!! Anyways I have a surprise for you when I return."
She said with a huge smile plastered on her face
"I look forward to it Mrs Amelia" I said trying to sound cheerful.
We spent one hour talking on the phone. We soon said our goodbyes with my Nana assuring me she will call me again.
It was past one after the call and I just sat there brooding. Him avoiding me and not talking to me was getting to me more than I thought.
The foods I had prepared were now cooled. I covered all the food containers and started arranging it into the refrigerator.
I was proud of myself. I had made enough to last me and someone else for a week.
I decided to have some of the spaghetti and meatballs I had prepared for lunch. I didn't have any appetite to eat but I had to. A life depended on me now.
When I finished eating I transferred myself from the the kitchen to the couch. Phone in hand and earphones in my ears, I laid down as music filled my ears. Music always calmed me down. I closed my eyes to let the words of the song I was listening to sink in.
For some unknown reason all the songs I was listening to was making me sad. A single tear slid down my eye as Adele's 'hiding my heart' played. I was after all 'hiding my heart' from Alex.
I couldn't deny it anymore, I really was beginning to fall for Alex. After everything he put me through my stupid heart couldn't control itself.
He wanted us to be friends. I couldn't, I can't fall for him. What if he threw it all back in my face?. I was having conflicting emotions, my mind knew it was wrong but my heart wouldn't agree with my head.
I felt sleep consumed me and I gladly surrendered to it.
Sleeping for hours was a thing of mine now so I wasn't amazed when I woke to find darkness surrounding me. I gingerly got up from the couch to go turn the lights on and use the bathroom.
7:45pm, I checked my phone for the time. I was waiting for Alex to get home. I couldn't take it anymore, was going to confront him about his sudden change of behavior. He was the one who suggested we be friends and friends did not act in such a manner.
I sat down again on the couch counting the minutes that went by. If he was going to come home at 12 midnight, I would patiently wait till 12 midnight.
Pacing up and down was not helping my anxiety. Yes I was anxious to confront but I was doing it anyway.
The universe was definitely on my side because he came early and by early I meant 9:36pm. It was early compared to him coming home around 11. I wasn't keeping tabs on him or anything.
He froze for a second when he saw me before reverting back to his cool and poised state.
"You should be asleep" he gruffly said as he made his way to the kitchen.
I followed him in there totally ignoring what he had just said. No one told me when to go to sleep, especially him, I mentally said to myself getting a little upset.
"Can we talk" I folded my hands on chest as I leaned on the counter.
"No" he interjected "and if it's about the kiss, it was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened"
My heart broke a little when I heard what he said. No it broke completely. And here I was swooning about a kiss, a mistake. Tears threaten to fall but I held them in check.
"Is that why you have been avoiding me and not talking to me?" I questioned as he moved to the fridge to get something.
He stood there staring at the well stocked fridge with food containers.
"Did you prepare all these?" He asked with his back to me.
I opened my mouth to answer back was cut off by an angry Alex.
"What was the need for all this. You should be resting not doing tedious work?" He snapped at me as he closed the fridge.
"I-I-I....." I stuttered like a fool totally confused as to why he would get angry at me for doing something like that.
"You what? Are you trying to hurt the child Zana?"
That was the last straw. How dare he accuse me of something hideous as to having intentions to hurt my own baby. Anger surged through me as I matched to face him with disgust all over my face.
"Don't you ever accuse me of trying to hurt my baby, do you hear me. Ohh and pardon me your grace, for being productive in my spare time. For caring enough to think of your health and what you will eat" I bellowed looking up at him.
"You know what, you can keep avoiding me for all I care, you arrogant pompous inconsiderate jerk" I finished off.
He always brought the worst out of me. How did I end up like this. I stormed past him to go grab a bottle of water and head up stairs. I was angry all right and the waterworks were about to start, no way I was going to cry in front of him.
I grabbed hold of the handle of the fridge as I felt a dizzy spell hit me. I turned around to find out I was the only one in the kitchen. Where was Alex or was this a dream. No, it was no dream, he was here a moment ago and just left without so much as a goodnight.
The dam finally broke free as the full realization of his actions and whatever transpired not long ago hit me. I sobbed my heart out, leaning against the fridge for support. A minute or two later I gingerly made my way from the kitchen heading for the stairs.
The world around me started to spin as I made an attempt to climb the first step. I held unto the rail of the stairs but it did nothing to steady me. The earth underneath me began to disappear as I felt myself falling.
My hands protectively flew to my stomach before I hit the ground. I laid there weak and unable to move fearing for the life of my baby. The last name I whispered was that of Alex before I slipped into darkness.
Song - Noah Cyrus feat Labrinth - make me (cry)
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