Chapter 5: Words I Want To Say To You...But Can't (Taemin POV)
A/N: I know you're thinking when will they suspect something? Read on to find out~
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I guess it was by chance that Naeun forgot her thumb drive. Luckily I found it as I was about to get out of my car before stepping into the dorm.
So after waiting in the dorm for another 3 hours or so, I went back to the ACUBE building and returned Naeun her thumb drive. Needless to say, she was extremely relieved when she received it. I guess it really was something important. Well, after all, it was her artwork...
How did I know? Well you see, I could not help but feel restless at the thought of what could be inside the thumb drive when I first found it earlier. It could be her work, which I want to see for myself, or it could even be her personal stuff...
So in the end, I decided to copy the file on the thumb drive that said 'artwork'.I presumed it was just her web designs and I just wanted to look at it only...no harm at all.
Trouble is, when I went to ACUBE, I got a little shy in front of the other Apink members and I did not tell Naeun about what I did. Oh well, it's been done already...jeez Taemin, can't you get a grip?
I returned to the dorm sometime later and by this time, the other members had returned from their personal schedules. Fortunately, I kept my computer closed so they did not muck around with it.
"Hyung," I called out to Jonghyun, "how was the dinner with Taeyeon sunbae?"
"Sort of fine," he replied. "She's a lot calmer now after we chatted a bit."
You see, there was recently a scandal break out within SM between SNSD's Taeyeon and EXO's Baekhyun. Some of their fans had given them a lot of backlash and Jonghyun personally had dinner with Taeyeon and Baekhyun to console them. After all, hyung did have a duet with Taeyeon during 'SM the Ballad's' promotions and is also Baekhyun's good sunbae.
At least everything was cleared up. Indeed, when it comes to social problems, the members and I can rely on Jonghyun for help. Perhaps I should consult him about Naeun...?
"Hyung," I told him. "I need to work a bit longer on my story. So you can go to sleep first."
With that, he nodded and told me not to sleep too late and headed into his room, which I shared with him.
After making myself some coffee, I settled down to complete the first two chapters of the story. I was really keen on making this one enjoyable and well regarded since it would be sent for official publishing via e-books and paperback.
But as I typed away, strangely my head felt a little light. While I used to brush it off as a sign of fatigue in the past, now I was not so sure. The whole reason why I made coffee was because I did not want to get tired. So why was it not working tonight?
Maybe I should take my mind off this for a while, I thought.
My eyes then fell onto one particular file: the one containing Naeun's web designs. Aha, perhaps I could look at some of them to relax my troubled mind!
So, without hesitation, I opened the file and straightaway proceeded browsing through her web designs. They were, without doubt, amazing and beautiful. I was intrigued by their vibrancy and wide use of different colours in each picture she created and illustrated. No regrets copying then, I suppose.
All these works were organised into different files too. How organised~
But my eyes landed on one particular folder named 'myself'. Initially, I wasn't expecting much and thought that maybe they were Naeun's self-portiats that she drew herself.
But as soon as I opened it and browsed through the contents, I was left only paralyzed in a mixture of fear, shock and emotional pain.
(~Next Morning~)
"Taemin ah," Minho was trying to call me. "Lee Taemin!"
I was still too deep in dreamland...or worry...to hear him at first. I had not realised it, but I had crashed onto the couch in the living room.
"Are you going to wake up sleepy head?" Key took his turn to rouse me. "You're dripping in cold sweat!"
"Us hyung's are worried..." Onew spoke next.
I guess I was way to drowned in disbelief to hear a single word. Or maybe because I slept too late...
...so late I did not hear a dorbell ring...
...so late I did not realise Jonghyun had opened the door...
...so late I did not realise someone else was now right next to my bed...
"Oppa~ get up juseyo~" an all to recognisable sweet voice called me gently.
Rather than waking up normally, I actually jumped in fear!
"No! This cannot be!" I was panting. Was I extremely happy or extremely frightened? Mollayo...
When I finally got my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed that Naeun was right beside me and the hyungs were standing behind her. All of them were in shock, perhaps because of my outburst.
Gathering my thoughts together, I awkardly greeted, "Good morning..."
"Finally you got up!" Onew sounded worried. "It's already half past ten!"
"Stop joking around maknae," Key told me. "Did you need your yeoja to wake you up?!"
"Mwo?!" Naeun and I said at the same time. My, if only she knew the real reason.
After briefly apologising to the members and Naeun, I took a quick shower and got dressed into something more decent. It only just occurred to me that Naeun and I were to meet up and work on the story and illustrations together today. Turned out I was late so I guess she personally came to SHINee's dorm to find me.
At least the other members did not tease me too much. Thank goodness.
"Annyeong Naeun ssi~" the members said goodbye politely before we left the dorm.
It was after we got into my car when I finally spoke to Naeun proper.
"I'm sorry, I hope the hyungs did not make you feel too uncomfortable," I apologised.
"They were ok, oppa," Naeun smiled.
At least that was making me happy to, considering what had happened last night.
"Oppa, we could have discussed and worked in your dorm..." Naeun pointed out. "Why do you want to work outside..?"
I knew that kind of question was bound to come up. Naeun does not know the whole truth yet. For the time being, I intended to keep it that way. It was for the better.
"I get better inspiration outside. Since this is a story about my past in a way, it would help if I went to different places from my past," I explained to her. "Besides, would it not help with your web designs too?"
Naeun nodded with understanding, "It would actually. But would I not need my computer..."
"I'm sure you are still a good drawer with papers, pencils, colour pencils and all," I said with confidence.
"But...I..." Naeun was hesitant.
"Trust in oppa," I convinced her. "I brought some drawing materials for you, don't worry."
At that, she smiled again. But the more I see it, the more I can only feel sadness inside.
On second thought, those feelings are actually helpful for my story! Yah, Lee Taemin ah, you are such a smart guy~
After driving for a while, we ended up cruising around in my old neighbourhood: the place where I grew up during my childhood (A/N: I'm a stranger to Korean regions, don't judge if I don't name the place ok). Here, I felt, was a good place to work on my story as I gathered my memories. I'm sure Naeun would get lots of inspiration too.
"You grew up in a very quaint environment oppa~" Naeun spoke as she looked out of the window.
"I'm glad you like it," I replied.
There was a park that I remembered going to whenever I made a trip here. I parked my car at the parking lot and Naeun and I got out to find a place to sit. In fact, I had one particular place in mind: a bench that faced the lake at the centre of the park.
When we arrived, it was around noon, so there were very few people in the open space facing the lake, probably because of the heat. Fortunately, there was a strong breeze, so Naeun and I did not feel warm.
I did not remember much from my childhood, but the park and the lake kind of brought me closer to that girl from my past. Before our argument, we used to come here often for picnics, either by ourselves or with our families. Those were the memories...
"Taemin oppa~!" Naeun spoke in awe. "The view is so spectacular here! It's so relaxing I actually want to lie down on the grass and sleep!"
"It's really a nice place. And it makes a good place to start on my story too," I agreed.
"Palli, where's the drawing materials? I want to sketch this scene for your story!" Naeun was hopping with excitement.
Her attitude was really lovable. I mean who would not be wide awake at her innocence and aegyo...wait did I just say Naeun was loveable?!
But as I handed over the stuff, I could only control my sadness inside me. It only served to remind me more about my guilt-filled past. I really hate to say it, but I felt as if my childhood was replaying itself. I mean, all the good times I spent with that girl were all coming back to me.
Sure, it's useful when thinking about my story, but from a psychological view, it hurts.
In fact, to say that I had forgotten how the girl looked like would be an absolute lie, at least since last night.
Why? Because she was standing next to me right now...and completely unaware about this fact herself.
Now is not the time for her to know...yet...
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A/N: Hey Hey? What did Taemin come across when he looked at Naeun's thumb drive's contents? So Son Naeun was the girl?! Indeed, Taemin's past memories were triggered, but why is he so unwilling to tell Naeun that the girl in his past was...her? Exactly what happened to them? Will Naeun find out some secrets herself?
I got inspired greatly to write this chapter after watching 'KARA Secret Love', a new mini-drama featuring KARA themselves. Do check it out on YouTube.
And...how do you like the new cover for this story? It's fitting right? I may change it now and then depending on whether I can find better backgrounds for the cover.
Vote + Comment~