The very next day I stood in the hallway on the second floor of the orphanage. I haven't slept last night; I forced myself not to. Joan talks on the telephone, Nancy is with the smaller girls, and I'm just standing there knowing that I'll have to go upstairs in room two.
I walk up the stairs slowly and glance at my feet. I twist the door knob and walk into the room where the girls chat. The youngest girls in here are twelve but they act and look so much older. They just got through putting away their laundry.
I don't even need to watch over them, they could practically live on their own. I sit in a chair and sigh, putting my face in my hands wearily. All that replays through my mind is last night.
The way Casey announced and made clear that I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Does that mean that they had quit? What will happen to me? I remember the way I almost instantly passed out. How I cried so hard during the entire night and how Harry constantly tried to help even through he knew that he couldn't even in the slightest.
I'm positive that I look like a wreck. How did I ever deserve something like this? That made me question my entire life. I can't be Harry's fiancé forever and we can't pretend to be married. His life can't plummet because of me.
He'll need to find himself a girl and I need to leave. I said this before but when I had said it I had no idea that I would be trapped.
Joan suddenly came through the door, "Caroline is on her way, girls tidy up now!"
They scurried off of their beds and cleaned anything that was the least bit dirty.
Joan turned to me, "I need a word with you, Baker."
I cleared my throat and nodded. I straitened out my skirt and left the room and stepped into the hall with Joan and Nancy.
"So Caroline is coming. She's the owner. She visits every two weeks. And you've heard of her Baker so you know what to do," Joan says.
"Oh, and smile. You're acting as if you've had the worst day," Joan says before heading downstairs.
I go back into the room and Helen looked excited, "Did you hear that Miss Doris? Caroline is on her way!"
I force a smile as she grinned, "I get to call Father! I miss him so much!"
"Your father?" I asked.
"Yes. Mother died of some virus and Father is in prison for something he did not do," Helen said.
"Mind if I ask?" I look up at her.
"They charged him with attempted murder. So he got eighteen years. I was only a year old when that occurred so Father gets out next year!" Helen beamed.
"That's so great. I'm glad you get to talk to your father," I choked out, kind of envying that her father is even alive and cares for her.
"I'm here girls!" Yells a feminine voice from downstairs.
"Caroline!" The girls chorus and run down the stairs. I walked slowly after them. I need to put on a good act today for this Caroline person even though I feel like crying all day. However, crying will take me no where.
Once I get to the bottom of the staircase, Joan takes me by the arm, "Caroline, this is the new worker I was talking about-say hello Doris."
"Hello, my name is Doris Baker, I'm currently engaged and I'm eighteen years old," I stick a hand out.
Caroline has ash blonde colored hair and wears a floral dress. Her hair is neatly in a bun with a Chinese styled bang in the front.
"Engaged? Joan didn't tell me that?" Caroline shakes my hand.
Joan glares at me while I disconnect my eyes from hers. Caroline and I retract our hands.
"Well, you are lovely, that I can say," Caroline smiled. "Do you girls like Miss Doris?"
Lucy runs up and bounces up and down, "I really really like Doris!"
"How about the older girls?" Caroline asked.
I look back at the girls who just stand with there arms folded but kind of look happy you can say.
"I like Doris," a blonde said.
"I do too," Helen added.
I smile at the girls for giving me that compliment, I need to make a nice impression on Caroline.
"So girls, call someone you wish. Five minutes tops," Caroline says and the girls scurries off to different telephones of this somewhat mansion.
"Doris, a few girls will line up at your door to use your telephone," Nancy tells me and I nodded and began walking up the stairs.
I went to my door, where girls already stood waiting with such eagerness and happiness. I unlocked my door and called the first girl in. Mallory came in and told me that she was calling her grandmother.
I dialed the number to her and let her take the phone. She talked all the way through her short time. Three other girls came and went and soon it was Helen's turn.
"Helen, who do you want to call?" I flip through the copy phone book.
"Father, of course."
"All right."
I flipped through the book and Helen pointed to his name. I dialed the number and handed it over to Helen.
After some moments she spoke, "Father! How are you?"
They talked about their day and about how much they missed each other and whatnot. Helen started to tear up towards the ending.
"See you soon," she said and hung up the telephone gently.
"Eighteen years. At least next year you'll see him, right?"
Helen nodded and wiped her tears away before they fell from her eye. She stood up silently and left from my room.
Hours later, Caroline has gone. I sit in the room with the older girls and stay to myself. I'm afraid that if I say anything right now, I'll end up crying.
Dinner time approaches that means break time. I walked down the stairs and I was going into my room when Joan yelled, "Doris Baker!"
I came into her small office as she told me to sit and I did so.
She opened her mouth, "Since when are you engaged?"
"Since a coupe of weeks ago."
"Why have you told me that you weren't engaged? I don't like when people fib, Doris," Joan said strictly.
"At that time, Harry and I have had problems. But we've figured them out and decided to call it back on," I say.
She sneers, "Harry? What an odd name. Henry sounds nicer. Anyway, I want to see this Harry tomorrow. So get him on this phone and tell him."
"Yes, Joan," I strain my tone in a polite manner. I pick up the receiver from the hook and dial his number.
"Hello?" His husky voice came.
"It's Doris. My boss, Joan, needs to see you tomorrow. Come around noon, yeah?" I say.
"I have work, Doris."
"Oh yeah. At seven then. Right when you get finished because Joan leaves at eight," I told him.
He sighed, "Really? I don't feel like it?"
"Be a good fiancé, dear," I say in a light voice.
"Don't do that. You don't need to remind me, damn."
"Just get the hell over here tomorrow," I say out of annoyance.
"Okay fine. I'll be there," Harry groaned and ended the call and I did the same.
Joan put her cigarette out, "Child, who in there right mind told you to get engaged at eighteen?"
"Don't judge me."
"I can judge whoever the hell I want. It's my mouth, damn it," Joan snaps.
Yeah, and you better watch who you are talking to with that mouth. "I apologize."
"Get out of my office," Joan says rudely and I reluctantly did it.
The girls teacher, who's name was Rose, had already left. Back in the girls room was endless talking. Bed time for them came and I made sure they did what Joan ordered before they slept.
I'm so glad that the day is over with and I can hide in my room the rest of the night. I change into my sleep outfit and take a bath. Every day is the same ritual as the last. I went in my bedroom and locked the door.
I tried to sleep, but once again I couldn't. I haven't even ate at all today. If I don't stop this, I'll become very unhealthy. I gazed out the window and saw the moon in the sky along with the stars. Since I'm here forever, I'll have to pull myself together.
But as of right now, that doesn't seem like a valid possibility. I press my forehead against the cool window and let the tears fall down my face.
-
"Get back here, Gloria," I say the next day to the six year old I attempted to dress.
She giggled and ran around the huge bedroom. Joan said that they have to scrub every floor in this mansion since they thought it was okay to run around only because Caroline was present.
Joan doesn't seem very fond of Caroline. In fact, she seems rather jealous.
"Gloria, come on please," I sighed and sat on her bed.
She came back around and let me dress her, "But I don't want to clean."
"It's all Joan's idea and I'm sorry that I can't change it," I pat her slumped shoulder.
"Doris, what was Joan talking to you about last night?" Lucy asked me while Mallory brushed Lucy's hair out.
"She didn't know I was engaged," I laughed.
All the girls gasped, "You're engaged?"
"Yeah."
"What does he look like? How old is he? Are you in love?" A small girl questioned.
"Uh, well he's handsome, I guess. He's twenty years old and of course I'm in love," I replied.
"Aww," they chorused.
"He's coming over tonight," I say. "But c'mon lets go see what Nancy made you all for lunch.
They follow me down the stairs and we walk into the large kitchen. Nancy has made them all hot dogs. They sit around the table quietly and the older girls take the other table.
"Okay, I'm going out for my break," I tell them and open the door, walking out of the building.
Week three. On Friday, it'll officially be three weeks that I've been here. It seemed like yesterday I was over Sunny's house. I had still hung on to the string of hope that all this could've been a dream. But after Casey's words on Sunday, I know that this is reality.
And I still have some questions about everything. My birthday is next year, but will I age? Or will I be a vampire like Edward Cullen from Twilight? I highly doubt that. I suppose that maybe I won't age though.
I walk till I get to a park. I'm not really going to eat anything, I just needed space. I wonder if James is upset with me because I did in fact tell him that Harry is completely fine with him taking me out.
However, no one knew that Harry would've caused a scene that night and I sure didn't expect his outburst either. I take a walk till I come to a cemetery and its very much like the one I usually came to.
I find myself taking the usual path to my fathers grave. This graveyard still looks the same but it doesn't have as many tombstones. I go to the spot but nothing is there. Not my father's stone or anything.
Of course, he isn't born yet. But I do know that his grave will be right here in this very spot anyway do there's not much to be ecstatic about. I take a sigh and put my head in my hands. The last thing that needs to be in the back of my brain is this.
I won't be leaving anytime at all so maybe thinking of my father everyday shouldn't be on my agenda. What I can do is try. And since I'll be here the rest of my life, I should try to learn something about my ancestors.
I wonder if any ancestor of mine still lived in Manhattan. Since there is no Internet here, then there is no possibility of searching the Internet. I know how to get to my house from here. I stand up and brush myself off, walking out of the graveyard and shutting the gate behind me.
I take the walk to the spot where my house should lie. Soon, I approach it and the address is different. But it looks exactly like my house but more original and newer.
No one is inside as I can see. But I don't dare to near it. I don't know, maybe I'll try a different time. I'll most likely ask Harry to help me. I take a glance at my watch that I bought and make my way back to the orphanage.
I'm still curious about my family history, background or whatever. I want to know. I open the door and step inside where Joan stands.
"Baker, you're five minutes late," she hisses at me.
"I apologize-"
"Damn right."
I cleared my throat, "I apologize for being five minutes late."
"Go help the girls," she snaps and walks back up the stairs to her office.
I shut the door and rolled my eyes. "Girls?"
I walk to the third floor and see all ten of them on their knees, scrubbing the floor with a sponge. Even Lucy and she's just five. Joan walks up the stairs and watched as she leaned on the rail.
"I'm so tired, Miss Doris," a girl says and tears fill her weary eyes.
I almost want to tell her to stop scrubbing but I remember that Joan is watching. "Tired? There's no time to be tired, Charlotte. Get busy."
She sighs but continues to scrub. Joan smiles at me approvingly and goes back into her office. I go into the bathroom and grab a mop and a bucket. I quickly go back into the hall.
"Break time girls! I've got this," I say and they look up.
"Are you sure?" Lucy asks.
"Positive. Now go over there so I can finish this," I say and the girls move out of the way.
This is going to be a long day I can already tell.
-
A knock comes at the door. I glance up at the clock which says 7:10. That must be Harry.
"Get the damn door, Nancy!" Joan shouts.
"I'm using the restroom, I'm sorry!" She yells back.
I put the mop down and walk downstairs, I've literally been cleaning all day. The girls have helped very willingly though. I opened the door and saw Harry there, still in his work clothes.
"I came over as soon as I could," Harry sighed.
"How thoughtful," I smiled and allowed him to step inside.
"Joan! My fiancé is here!" I called up.
Harry looked around and inspected the house, "Looks like my grandfathers home."
"Really?" I asked.
He shook his head, "Never mind."
I heard Joan footsteps and when she reached the end of the stairs she sneered, "What's wrong with his hair?"
Harry's eyebrows shot up and he shifted his gaze as I clenched my jaw. With this happening, it's going to be one hell of a night.