NOW
I don't say a word as long as we are in the car with my mum. She doesn't push me to tell her what's going on not even why I left earlier from school and I appreciate it. I see myself from the mirror of the car, I look like a mess. I desperately want to go home and never go out again.
By the time we arrive home I get out of the car and head to my room. I take a long shower and feel better when the first drops of water touch my skin. I think about Josh and what he told me before he left. ''I'll make sure you'll regret what you said earlier.'' I know he meant it but I have no idea what he is up to. I brush this thought of my head and get out of the bathroom with a towel on my hair.
I hear my mum talking to someone on the phone and she sounds desperate.
''I don't know what to do anymore.'' She says to the person on the other line. ''Yes, yes I tried to talk to her this morning but she didn't listen to me. What are we going to do?'' she continues.
I close my door and sit on the floor with my back opposite the wall. That's not right for none of them; I thought. If only I could tell my parents what happened. I'm so sick of disappointing them. They are always so tolerant and patient with me and now I'm sure that I'm just a disappointment for them.
I hear my phone ringing and I stand up searching for it. I locate it underneath my clothes on my bed. Someone is calling me but I can't see the caller because he has a blocked ID. I know what that meant and the nightmare begins again. Suddenly, the phone stops. I close my eyes and wish that everything was over but I know that's only the beginning...
I hear a knocking on the door and I see my mum with a concerned look on her face.
''Can I come in?''
''Sure.'' I say with no excitement at all and she steps in.
"I was talking with your father and-''
''I know, I heard you talking on the phone with someone. I was sure it was dad.'' I say and give her a bittersweet smile.
She takes a deep breath and sits next to me on the bed. ''Everyone has hard times every now and then, honey, that's how life is made of. There's no way to avoid difficulties or heartbreaks but you should stay strong and you will win the game which is called life.''
I look at her and she squeezes my hand. I feel the first tears running from my eyes and I know that I can't stop them.
''You don't understand, mum, it's just too much for me. I can't handle it.'' I start crying harder and she hugs me tightly.
''That's what I wanna know, sweetie, what is it that you can't handle?''
''You won't understand, mum.'' I whisper.
''Try me.''
''I can't tell you. That's something that I have to deal with alone.''
She huffs. "Ok, but if you want someone to talk to, I'm always here for you.'' She assures me and puts something in my hand.
''What's this?''
''Some pills that will help you sleep at night more easily. The doctor prescribed them to me this morning. She explains and kisses me before she stands up and leaves the room.
It is almost midnight and I'm waiting in my room impatiently. I am already dressed and I'm checking my phone every 30 seconds for the text to come.
I leave my bedroom and head to my parents' room. I open the door slowly and see them both sleeping. The sound of my phone scares me and I almost wake up my dad. I hold my breath for some seconds till I am sure that he's still asleep. I walk in the hallway and go downstairs. I reach the door and finally check my phone. It is a message from a number that I don't recognize but I know exactly who has sent it: ''Meet me at the park.'' I put my phone in my back pocket and head to the park some blocks away from my house.
My heart is beating out of time and my hands start to shake as I reach the park. I see a figure in the dark and recognize him immediately. I feel something like a punch in my stomach but I keep walking till I'm in front of him. I give him a look and notice some changes since the last time I saw him. His curly hair is a little bit longer and messier but his gaze is just the same. He smirks at me and takes a step forward.
''What are you doing here?'' I ask only to break the silence.
He looks surprised from my question as if the answer was obvious. ''You really believed that I would let you go after everything that happened between us?''
''That belongs to the past. What happened in Tahiti stays there.''
''That's where you're wrong, babe. You see, we're in this together.''
''No, we aren't. You put me into this!'' I yell.
''I had told you that I was dangerous I didn't force you to do anything that you didn't want to. You chose to stay.'' He spits.
''I wasn't thinking clearly. All I want now is-''
''What exactly do you want, Kimber Lynn? Cause you're not the person that I met in the summer.'' He says loudly.
''You and your acts changed me! What did you think? That after everything that happened we would both continue with our lives and happy ever after? I have to live my whole life in guilt because of you. Do you know what I really want? I want my life back. I want to forget that I know you and I want to stop lying to my parents. I want to be normal again!'' I scream hysterically.
He looks around making sure that no one hear us. ''Don't raise your voice to me. You're not the victim here.'' He says pointing his finger in front of my eyes.
''Why you came here?'' I repeat my first question.
He takes some seconds to think the answer and then he answers simply ''I missed you and I wanted to make sure that you're ok.''
''Well, I'm obviously not ok and I would appreciated if you just didn't show up again here.'' I say sarcastically.
''Did you break up with him?''
''Have you been listening to what I was saying the whole time?'' I ask annoyed by his question.
''Did you?'' he asks again.
I gaze at him straight in his green eyes. I'm still feeling the same way about him. I can't deny it. I have still feelings for him even if I should hate him. I want to hate him with all my heart but I can't...
''Yes, I did but that doesn't mean anything-''
''Why did you break up with him?'' He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.
I hesitate for some seconds trying to find something to answer but nothing passes through my mind.
''Just say it, Kimber Lynn.'' He whispers as he comes closer to me and touches my cheek softly with his fingertips. '' I wanna hear it.''
''Why are you doing this to me? Haven't you tortured me enough yet?'' I mutter.
''You can't hide from me, Kimber Lynn. I know that you want me to put my hands on you.'' He says with his deep voice and places his right hand on my waist as the other is still on my cheek. I bite my lip and my heart starts beating faster. His mouth is inches away from mine but he doesn't make any move. I can't resist anymore and line in but he turns away. I try again but his reaction is the same. I huff.
''This time I won't make it so easy for you, babe.'' He whispers into my ear. I feel his breath on my neck and I shiver. ''I'll give you some time to think.'' He finally tells me and begins to walk away from me, leaving me behind speechless.