I woke up and looked at my phone. Still no messages from Damon. I sighed and saw Elena's name.
Went to Chicago with Damon to find Stefan. Thought you should know.
Why didn't he tell me and why did he just leave me here?
Okay let me know when you get back.
I replied. I walked out and went over to the coffee. I looked at it for a moment wondering if there was vervain in it. I took a sip and it was good.
"Good morning." Dad said walking out of his bedroom.
"I wouldn't say good." I replied drinking more coffee but I really wanted alcohol.
"What happened?" He asked curiously.
"They are leaving me out of things again." I replied looking at him. "I thought I could finally help them but..." I shrugged.
"Well if it makes you feel better you aren't useless." He replied looking at me.
"Thanks but I feel like he thinks something different." I sighed lightly.
"So this is a Damon thing?" He asked raising his eyebrow. I nodded lightly.
"Listen I'm not the best with relationships but I know that he cares about you. He just wants to keep you safe."
"Then why does it feel like he just doesn't want me around?" I asked looking at him as he sighed.
"Sometimes you push away the people you love to try and make things better for them. He must think it's the best move." Dad explained but it sounded more like he was taking his side. "Just ask him about it when you get the chance.
Knowing that he wasn't siding with me made me angry. I wanted to hurt him, suck his blood right there. I looked down at my coffee and drank it. What the hell was wrong with me?
"I'll try." I replied with a sigh. I poured more coffee and went to my room. I opened the mini fridge I had in there and took out a blood bag. I decided to keep them in there because I didn't want to worry dad. Not to mention I didn't want to accidentally bite him.
I drank it and flipped through my sketchbook. I hadn't had the chance to look at it since everything that happened. I got to the last few pages and started drawing.
((Cred to the artist))
I could forget the sets of time while I was drawing so by the time I was done I didn't realize Tyler texting me. Apparently he found Caroline locked up being tortured by her dad. I quickly left the apartment and headed to see her. I got to their house and saw Carolines mom.
"Emma, she's been asking for you too. Come in." She smiled lightly to me as I nodded and headed to the back.
I got to Carolines room and I saw her crying onto Tyler. "Hey Care." I smiled lightly as I came over. She sat up and wrapped around me. We sat for a while before I decided to let Tyler take care of her. She was glad to see me but she didn't really want to talk about anything.
I headed out and Elena texted me saying that Damon just dropped her off at her house. I headed to the boarding house to talk to Damon. I knocked on the door after seeing Damons car there but I got no response. I knocked again and he opened the door.
"I heard you went to Chicago." I said looking at him as he nodded. "Did you see him?"
"Yep." He replied.
"And?" I asked curiously.
"Things haven't changed. He still doesn't want to come back." He sighed.
"Can I come in?" I asked looking at him as he opened the door more for me. "I want to talk about everything. Why have you been keeping me out of everything?"
"You still have this mentality that nothing will ever hurt you and it worries me." He replied.
"But Elena does the same thing yet you let her go with you to find her off he rails boyfriend." I replied looking to him. "How is that fair?"
"I just don't want you hurt." He replied as I shook my head.
"I'm immortal now Damon. I'm even stronger than before and I can be of use. I hate having to sit around and wait for news." I explained looking at him. "It's like you just want to exclude me for no reason."
He squinted and vamped me to a wall holding my wrists. "Just like that you'd be dead." He said looking at me. "I'm doing this for you, not for me."
I pushed against him and he held me in place. I made some moves but he mostly had me down. "I wasn't prepared." I replied.
"And you think you will be? You can barely get out of my grasp. Imagine how much more powerful Klaus is Emma." He said in an angry tone.
"Why? Why do you have to prove that I'm weaker?" I asked looking at him as I stopped fighting. "All I want to do is make sure you're safe and make sure Elena is safe but you won't let me."
"Because you'll get hurt." He replied still holding me.
"And so will you but at least we have each other. What am I supposed to do when all the sudden your gone and I never even had the opportunity to save you. I don't want what happened to Stefan to happen to you." I let out a tear and blinked a few times.
"That's the thing Emma. One day something might happen." He replied. "I don't want you to have to be there to see it." He explained as he loosened his grip. "I don't want you to suffer losing anything else."
"Pushing me away doesn't change how I feel." I explained.
"But it keeps you safe." He replied.
"What's worse being safe without the people you love or being gone with them still happy?" I asked looking at him.
"In this new reality anyone can die at any time. I don't want it to be you." He replied looking down.
"You know what I did today? I sat in my room checking my phone every five minutes worried that something could've happened. I was worried that the last thing you would say to me was to leave you alone." I explained.
"I'm not a good person Emma. You shouldn't expect anything from me." He replied.
"But I do because I know who you are. I expect you to cheer me up when I'm sad, to make me smile when I'm angry, even just for you to tell me that you love me." I looked at him wiping my eyes as a few tears escaped them. "I don't expect it because I want you to be better I expect it because that's what you've always done."
"You make it sound like I'm some picture perfect person who will whisk you away and make everything right in the world." He looked at me.
"No. I know you're not. I know you are dangerous and aggressive and that you can't always control yourself. That doesn't mean that is all of you. Lately you haven't been the good parts. You've been shutting them out." I said stepping towards him. "Just let them out."
"I can't." He replied.
"Why not?" I asked looking at him frustrated.
"Because if I do then you'll try to risk yourself for me. I can't let you do that." He replied. "You mean more to me than I do to myself and I can't risk loosing you even if it means I have to push you away."
"You won't loose me." I replied looking to him. "Just trust me."
"I do trust you. I don't trust everyone else." He shook his head.
"Don't worry about everyone else. Just worry about you and me. We can make it through all the bad, you just have to be willing to take the chance. I can take care of myself and I know I'll be okay. You just have to believe that I can do that." I said looking at him.
"It's not just everyone else Emma. I'm worried about myself." He replied really getting to the bottom of why he felt so bad. "One wrong move and I ruined everything for Stefan. I ruined what was supposed to be a long fulfilling human life for you." He shook his head.
"I don't care about being human anymore." I shook my head looking to him confused.
"But that's the thing, you do." He replied. "You want things to keep going like they did before. You pretend like you don't have to drink blood, you always keep it secret from everyone. You might not realize it but I do. I can tell you miss it." He said as I looked to him confused.
"I don't miss anything." I said before giving it any thought.
"Emma have you ever even talked to Elena about you turning?" He asked looking at me. I thought about it for a moment. I hadn't. "What about your dad?" He asked. Hadn't talked to him much either. "It's a part of your life yet you keep it hidden from everyone."
"Because I have to." I explained.
"No because you don't want them to see it." He replied and he was right. I didn't want them to see the part of me that wanted to kill people.
"And what's wrong with that?" I asked confused.
"It means I messed up. I should've let you drink the potion." He replied stepping closer. "You didn't want this but I forced you into it."
"You didn't mean to." I shook my head.
"And I didn't mean to get bit by a werewolf but it happened anyway. The bad draws its way to both of us, and I don't want to pretend like I'm not making things worse for you."
"You aren't." I shook my head.
"I am." He replied looking at me. "And I'm afraid that one wrong move will make everything worse. One wrong move and I'll lose you for good."
I realized he was doing exactly what my dad said. Pushing me away to keep me safe. The only difference was that he was worried he was the thing that could hurt me. Maybe he was right, but I didn't believe it.
"How are you gonna lose me when all I do is stay home and sleep and think about kissing you?" I asked recalling the day before.
"You have to worry about the basic vampire survival needs that put you on edge everyday. That in of itself worries me more than anything worries me because I know if you end up hurting someone you'll never forgive yourself." He responded.
"Why this all the sudden. Have you always felt this way?" I asked concerned.
"At first I guess I thought that you would be okay. You're strong and I knew that, but then I saw Stefan. He told me to stop looking for him and that I'd be safe. He pushed everyone away to make sure we were okay. I guess I thought that if I pushed you away than I wouldn't ever have to risk you pushing me away." He shook his head. "I didn't realize how stupid it was."
"It's not stupid. You don't want anyone hurt, even yourself. Pushing me away though, that isn't the way to keep me safe." I shook my head. "It's just gonna make things worse."
"At this point I don't know if they'll ever get better." He sighed turning around looking at the floor.
I grabbed his arm and faced him. "Don't say that." I shook my head. "Don't."
"What else am I supposed to do?" He asked looking at me.
"I don't know." I shrugged. "Be grateful for what you have."
"How am I supposed to do that when all you do is worry me?" He questioned.
"Well what about everything else?" I asked thinking what else he could be grateful for.
"Don't you get it? It's only you. You're all of it." He replied looking at me with a worried look. "That's why I can't just be okay with it. I want what's best for you."
"I know what is best for me, okay and that's you." I nodded. "Out of everything that's happened you are the best thing I have and that's okay because you are worth that. The one wrong thing that you could mess up, it won't ever be me. I won't let it." I explained.
"Why do you have so much hope for me?" He asked moving his eyebrows trying not to cry.
"Because I know you are trying to make things right and I know that I can help you through it just like you helped me."
"I'll never understand how you manage to get past me." He looked at me.
"Because I understand you. I know how to get past you because I'm the same way." I said as I wiped a tear before it fell from his eye. "You don't think I can-"
I couldn't finish before his lips were on mine. His hands held the sides of my cheeks and I placed my hand over his and the other on his shoulder.
He let go and I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same. "I do think you can make it. I can't help but be scared of what might happen."
"You scared? No way." I looked at him as he held my face. He let out a soft sigh.
"You're so much stronger than I am." He sighed lightly.
"I'm pretty sure you proved that wrong earlier." I raised my eyebrow lightly.
"That's not what I meant." He shook his head looking at me closely as he started twirling my hair in his fingers.
"Isn't it?" I asked as I pushed him against a wall. It knocked the wind out of him and he coughed a bit before throwing me onto the couch.
"Don't get too cocky." He replied standing over me on the couch.
I vamped to the upstairs and looked at him. "How much you want to bet that you can't catch me?" I asked as he started speeding upstairs and I went down the hallway.
"Are we really playing super speed tag?" He asked walking down the hallway.
"Only if you don't admit your defeat now." I replied as I vamped past him towards the other end of the hallway.
I ran into a room and waited in the corner. I heard him walk in and he turned the light on. I vamped out to his bedroom and went towards the closet but as soon as I got there he was already in front of me.
"Gotcha." He said as he grabbed my waist and threw me on the bed.
"How?" I looked at him with a smile. "I was ahead of you."
"I'm older and quicker." He replied as he leaned over top of me. I chuckled lightly playing with the edge of his shirt.
"But I'm a better distraction." I looked at my hands before he lifted my chin.
"You're the perfect distraction." He said placing his hand on my hand and following up my arm before combing through my hair. Needless to say it was a night full of distractions.