‘Why aren’t you lot talking?’ Corahn asked me again.
‘Don’t worry.’ I muttered as I attempted to get on with my maths work but couldn’t since I could feel him watching me.
‘Nah, cos you’re both being moody as shit and it’s annoying. Either talk and sort it out or stop being so fucking moody.’ He kisses his teeth. I screw him before picking up all my work and moving tables. ‘Wait, Jay man.’ He sighs. I ignore him as I sit on a table by myself.
‘Jayda.’ I heard him say. Why can’t everyone just leave me the fuck alone?
‘I’m really not in the mood right now so please fuck off.’ I say not bothering to look up.
‘Just hear me out Jay.’ He sighs. I peel my eyes away from my maths book to meet his hazel eyes, and I feel my heart pulsate. Why the fuck did my body have to react to him? He licks his lips nervously as this was the first time this day that I had actually looked at him.
‘I know you’re pissed off with me. I swear I didn’t leave yours to go link Elisha, something happened that I can’t say. If you really want to know what happened then talk to Elisha.’ He paused and watched me for a second but my facial expression didn’t change. ‘I’m sorry for not telling you that it involved Elisha but it really aint my business to say.’
‘Okay. I don’t understand what is so deep that you can’t tell me. And maybe I jumped to conclusions but you know I don’t like her in the first place then for me to find out from some random boy that you were with her? Then for me to come to your house to see her in your bed?’ I sigh.
‘Yeah, I should’ve told you it was to do with Elisha but…’ He trails off and sighs. ‘Just come with me after school and she’ll explain to you. Yeah?’ I eventually nod and his face breaks out into a smile. I had to look away otherwise I would’ve smiled too and I didn’t want him to think he was forgiven just yet. ‘Can I have a kiss now?’ I hear him ask.
‘You’re not forgiven yet.’ I scoff. We spent the rest of the maths lesson working in silence, only talking when I had to ask Dontae for help. He was a genius in maths.
‘Are you two talking yet?’ Nia asks me as we left Maths to go to lunch.
‘No.’ I reply.
‘But I saw you talking in maths.’
‘So?’
‘Alright moody Margaret!’ She says just as Jayden wraps his arms around her waist.
‘Nia, my sweet, little darling pooh-bear.’ He says in a sweet voice causing me to retch then burst out laughing.
‘No.’ She immediately says.
‘You don’t know what I was gonna ask!’ He whines.
‘So? I said no.’ She says. He kisses his teeth before tripping her up and walking away. I burst out laughing at how immature my twin is.
‘PRICK!’ She shouts after him, regaining her balance. ‘See what I have to put up with? Why did I ever agree to be in a relationship with him?’ She mutters.
‘You can only blame yourself.’ I shrug.
‘True. Anyway make up with Dontae please. I know he did wrong but if it isn’t his business to tell, he can’t tell you. If suttin happened to Kye or someone, would you tell Dontae?’
‘Yeah, to be honest. He’s my boyfriend, I can trust him.’
‘Even if tho he hates Kye? And it was something really private?’ She asks. I shrug as I actually think. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t.
‘Well I guess I’ll just have to find out from Elisha.’ I sigh. We went through an awkward lunch since I was apparently being a “stubborn bitch”. Before I knew it we were back to our second maths lesson of the day.
‘Into groups of 2 please, we’re gonna do a little activity.’ The teacher says. Dontae was by my side in an instant. I groan inwardly but couldn’t help the small happy feeling inside of me. We all had been given different tasks to do within the lesson then the teacher just walked out, saying she was going to the staff room. She hadn’t come back for 15 minutes.
‘How do you do Loci?’ I had to ask after 10 minutes of attempting to do it by myself in silence. He explains it to me and I manage to communicate with him in order to finish this maths activity.
‘Work experience is on Monday innit?’ He asks. I nod. ‘What time do you finish every day?’
‘4.’
‘Ahh, I finish at 5 then I gotta trek home.’ He says. ‘I wanted to meet you after work.’
‘Okay.’ I say. He sighs before looking at me. I bit my lip to stop me laughing. He looked like he was gonna cry. He put his hand on my thigh, under the table, and I froze.
‘Jay, talk to me.’ He says softly moving his hand up and down my thigh.
‘I-I am.’ I stutter. His lips curl up into a small smile as he realises the effect he was having on me.
‘You’re acting off with me.’ His hands go a little bit higher and my body tenses once again.
‘I’m not.’ I reply quietly.
‘Prove it.’ I frown as his voice became quieter.
‘How?’ I ask in confusion.
‘Gimme a kiss.’ I give him a deliberate look before leaning in. When I was a few centimeters away from his lips, I stop and pull his hand off my lap.
‘Idiot. You’re not forgiven yet.’ I kiss my teeth and continue working. He laughs and pecks my cheek. The teacher entered the classroom at the end of the lesson and collected our work. I groaned in frustration as I realise I would have to go to meet Elisha with Dontae.
‘We’re going to her house, yeah?’ He says as we leave school.
‘Where does she live?’ I ask.
‘Near her school.’ I nod. I was quiet the whole journey there, wondering what could be so big that required Dontae to act all secretive. When we got to their house, 30 minutes later, she opened her door wearing her uniform.
‘Hi.’ She smiles nervously. I don’t reply as she lets us in. ‘Do you guys want a drink or something?’
‘Listen, can you just get to the point please. I didn’t come to have a chat.’ I say impatiently.
‘Alright.’ She nervously glanced at Dontae. ‘Alright…’ She sighed deeply before starting. ‘There was this boy called CJ, known him basically my whole life. We used to be a couple but we broke up after I got pregnant.’ I stared at her, not sure I wanted to hear anymore. ‘He didn’t believe it was his since I cheated on him, with Dontae, but it was CJ’s. The dates added up. Do you know what the worst thing was? The fact that I had conceived this baby through CJ raping me, and he still didn’t believe me. Anyway, I told him when I was 5 months gone, I managed to hide it for a while but I had to tell him. I gave birth in November last year and I kept my baby, Jeremiah. The first few weeks all I did was cry. My baby had been denied by his dad and my family disowned me. That’s when I started talking to Dontae, he helped me. Then, 2 months ago…CJ came back into my life..’ Her eyes teared up as she glanced at Dontae.
‘He didn’t even hold his child, he was disgusted with him and immediately got angry, he asked why I had kept the child and attacked me. Then, a few days later I found my baby boy d-dead in his cot.’ A few tears rolled down her face as she stared at the wall behind me. Even though I didn’t like her, my heart broke for her. ‘CJ had hired someone to k-kill his own child…how could you kill your own child?’ She broke down and Dontae wrapped his arms around her.
‘It’s alright Elisha.’ He soothed her. She pulled herself together and took a deep breath before continuing.
‘Jeremiah was only 6 months, he still had his whole life. He never got to talk, crawl, walk, and go to school…all because of CJ. CJ felt no way about it and even spat in my face when I saw him, telling me I deserved it so yesterday my brother found CJ, and called Dontae and they went to sort him out. I tried to reason with them but they didn’t listen. Afterwards, Dontae took me to his as I was crying and I fell asleep in his bed, that’s the only reason I was there. Nothing happened, I swear.’
I stood silent for a while, trying to process everything. This 15 year old girl had been disowned by her family, given birth on her own, raised a new-born by herself and then had him brutally taken away when he was only 6 months. Oh my days. Before I could help it, my feet reacted and walked over to her, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug.
‘I’m so sorry.’ I whisper as she silently cries. No one deserves to go through that especially on their own. Now I knew why she needed Dontae.
‘No, I am. Sorry if I caused problems with you guys.’ She says pulling away.
‘Don’t be stupid, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and judged you without even knowing you.’ I was mentally punching myself for being so inconsiderate and idiotic. I should’ve just trusted Dontae and accepted his reasons for not telling me, I could understand now. I felt like I had forced Elisha to tell me something that was so personal and all because I was jealous. I’m such a bitch.
‘Sorry.’ I whisper as I walk over to Dontae and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back and pecks my neck.
‘It’s alright.’ He whispers. We stay with Elisha for a bit. As we spoke, and I got to know her better I realised she was actually a nice girl.
‘It was nice to actually talk to you.’ Elisha says hugging me as we were leaving.
‘Same. If you ever need someone to talk to, just call me yeah?’ I ask. She nods smiling brightly before briefly hugging Dontae. We leave her house and start the journey back home.
‘I can’t believe what she’s been through.’ I mutter to Dontae. He nods.
‘Same. I don’t know how she copes every day.’ My mind wandered to how she got raped, which caused me to empathise with her. I knew exactly how she felt but having to carry the rapist’s baby and do everything on her own? She was strong.
‘I’m so happy you made me come here.’ I turn to Dontae.
‘So?’
‘What?’ I ask.
‘Can I get my kiss now or?’ He says pointing to his lips. I roll my eyes before leaning up and pressing my lips against his. Not gonna lie, I missed this.
Ominous POV
He watched them both from a safe distance, mentally creating a picture of her in his memory. He watched as they share a kiss, oblivious to the people walking past and cooing. He watches as they pull apart and she slightly blushes before they continue their journey with her frequently smiling or laughing causing her brown eyes to squint and a tiny dimple to emerge at the left corner of her mouth. Jayda Michaels. How could he forget her? With her light caramel skin tone, slightly chinky brown eyes, her small nose and wild, long brown curls. His mind raced as he watched them walk into the distance, happily oblivious to the man in the blacked-out car watching their every move, like he had been for the past nine months.
He licked his lips as he wrote more notes into his notepad, and quickly sketched a picture of the boy she had been with nearly every day for the past months he had been watching her. He knew who he was, but wanted to be sure. Reckless, everyone in south London knew of him, he was a hoodceleb. He was known for his actions, he would act recklessly, not caring about the consequences to follow but recently he had calmed down. The man knew this was due to Jayda, his faithful girlfriend of 6 months. He knew everything about each of them, every little detail about their whole lives.
He knew Reckless was adopted and lived with his Auntie and her son, Amario. He knew his Auntie would leave the house at 7am each morning, dropping Amario at his child-minder’s whilst she went to work. He knew Reckless had recently been in contact with his blood cousin Shaniyah, he knew of Reckless’ adoptive siblings; Lamar, Chris and Chelsea.
He also knew about Jayda. How she had been raped at 11 and witnessed her best friend die. He knew of her twin, Tempz. He knew that until recently, she lived at home with her mother and twin brother but her father had come back. He knew she had an older brother Jay, known as General on road, who lived with his baby mum and girlfriend, Sammy, along with their two year old child Jaydene.
He knew everything. And he was going to use all of this information to destroy Jayda. Before it was too late. The man finished writing down his notes and got out the car, pulling up his sagging jeans before jogging across the road to her house. She opened the door, her eyes red and puffy.
‘Did you do it?’ His deep voice caused shivers to run up her spine as she nodded slowly. She wiped away another tear, feeling guilty and ashamed knowing she was helping to destroy someone’s life.
‘Do you know how it feels to lie to her face? I just lied to that girl’s face, and told her my child was dead. Do you know how sick that is? I just lied to the only person who’s been prepared to help me through everything, he never expected anything from me.’ She says, her face twisting up in disgust as the lie she had made up replayed in her head. ‘I’ve already ruined CJ’s life, everyone hates him. He’s in hospital because of me! And because of a crime he didn’t commit. And now, I’m ruining someone else's life. She’s never done anything to me! And she’s so nice, what could she have possibly done to you, to make you want to kill her!’’ She wipes her tears as she finishes her rant. He stood, silently listening and watching her, his face blank as he regretted using such an emotional girl in his plan.
‘Shut the fuck up. I told you, don’t ask me fucking questions. Now, you aint gonna slip up. You’re gonna go through with what I told you to and you’re gonna do it efficiently.’ He knew it was only a matter of time before someone realised he was back, but he first needed to see if she would remember him. He was almost certain she wouldn’t but knew others, such as Reckless, would.
‘Can’t you just talk to her? I’m sure it can’t be that bad. I-I can’t destroy another person’s life.’ She sobs quietly but was cut off by him aggressively grabbing her top and pulling her up so his face was inches from hers.
‘Nah, you’re gonna listen to me. No one can know I’m fucking here. She won’t remember me but others will. I’ve come too far for some dumb, over-emotional chick like you to fuck everything up. You will not fuck this up for me, understand? I’ve done this for nine months without being noticed. If I even get a mention that people know I’m back on ends, I swear you’ll never see Miah again.’ He spat venomously as he spoke quickly and quietly, occasionally spitting on her face. She nods quickly, not wanting to piss him off any further as she knew what he became like once he was angry. He released her after glaring at her for a minute in silence.
‘C-Can I see him? Please? I miss him.’ She pleads quietly with tears racing down her face, feeling her heart tighten at the mention of her little angel’s name.
‘I’ll bring him to you tomorrow. For 1 hour.’
‘1 hour? I haven’t seen him in weeks! He’s my fucking son too!’ She screeched feeling angry that she could only spend 1 hour with her son.
‘Watch who you’re talking to.’ He spat as his hand made a painful connection with her cheek. She immediately nods, feeling panic rise through her as she avoided eye contact with this monster. This monster who had control of her whole life and there was nothing she could do, no one she could tell. ‘You I know I would give you more time if I could Elisha, I just gotta make sure you complete your job.’ His tone was soft as he stroked her cheek. She froze, scared, as she glanced at his face. The face that haunts her dreams. The monster that stood before her was not only her baby’s daddy, but her rapist.
‘I will.’ She says quietly as she nods. She pushes away the feeling of regret and guiltiness as she becomes more determined. In her situation it was kill or be killed. ‘I will.’ She repeated louder, with a look of determination overtaking her face.
*
‘Stop!’ I whisper as Dontae kissed my neck. I giggle as my lips met his and shushed him before closing my door.
‘Jayda?’ My dad calls out. I quietly groan in frustration as I knew he would act iffy with Dontae being here.
‘Yeah it’s me.’ I call out. ‘And Dontae.’ I mumble.
‘Oh! Wassup Dontae?’ He calls out.
‘Wagwan boss.’ Dontae replies.
‘Tell me if you want a lift home, whenever you leaving.’ My dad says. My eyebrows furrow as normally he would make us stay downstairs or tell me to leave my door open. Dontae looks at me and shrugs, also perplexed by my dad. We go upstairs and just talk for a while. I love how I can actually talk to him about anything. Like now, we were talking about my insecurities. It felt weird but I felt comfortable around him.
‘But I don’t get it. Why are you insecure? Look at you! You’re beautiful.’ He says. I blush and kiss his cheek.
‘Thank you. But I just can help it. Everyone has insecurities.’ I shrug.
‘What are you insecure about?’ He asks.
‘My weight. I’m too skinny.’ His mouth drops.
‘Are you joking?’ He asks. I shake my head slowly.
‘You’re not skinny, you’re slim but you still got curves. Like you have thighs, like thighs then your boobs and don’t get me started on your batty please.’ He closes his eyes momentarily as he clasps his hands together. I giggle and wrap my arms around him. He actually makes me happy.
‘You’re so silly.’ I mutter laying my head on his chest. ‘I want some galaxy.’ I say as I suddenly got a craving.
‘Ok.’ He says playing with my hair. I sigh before sitting up.
‘Let’s go.’ I say pulling my Kickers on.
‘Seriously? Just for chocolate?’ He asks. I nod. Once I get a craving, it doesn’t go away. ‘You’re so fat man.’ He huffs. I roll my eyes and elbow his chest causing him to laugh, unaffected by what I thought was a hard hit.
‘Bitch. You’re paying too.’ I stick my tongue out at him. I go downstairs to see my dad watching Eastenders. When I tell you he’s in love with it. It was apparently “refreshing” as they didn’t have it in America. He had around 50 recorded episodes from as far back as he could find and was attempting to keep up with the story line. Eastenders is so shit.
‘Daddy. I’m going shop quickly.’ I inform him.
‘Get some red peppers and chilli sauce. I’m making chicken wraps tonight.’ He says handing me a £10 note. I nod before waiting for Dontae and leaving my house.
‘If that man looks like a fed, I aint doing no dealing. How can trapping be dead? How are my connects still breathing?’ I sing to myself as we walk to the nearest corner shop.
‘You can’t sing section!’ Dontae says then kisses his teeth.
‘Fuck off! Yes I can!’ I say then continue to annoy him. ‘From a q’s to a half to a zed’s, I’ma get squared this evening. Nigga’s still chatting like sheep, why would I care what he did? SIDEMAN.’ I shout in Dontae’s face. He groans and screws me.
‘Sideman preeing on me, look at them likkle eediats.’ I say pointing at Dontae just as a hoodrat was driving past in his car. He beeped his horn as he heard me and everyone in the car shouted ‘WOII!’. I burst out laughing, every hoodrat always does that when someone sing’s section boyz. Dontae shakes his head laughing too.
‘See? This is why you shouldn’t sing section outloud.’ He chuckles. I agree with him.
‘Ahh, wait we need to go Tesco. My dad wants chilli and pepper.’ I say diverting our direction as we were outside the corner shop. Dontae kisses his teeth.
‘Lemme get a drink first.’ He says walking into the shop as I decide to wait outside. I was watching snapchat stories when I heard a car pull up infront of me. I didn’t bother looking up but couldn’t help feeling that someone was watching me. My eyebrows furrow as I look up to meet a guy watching me, in his car. I didn’t recgonise him but the hairs on my arms, and the back of neck stood up as I shivered. He didn’t look away when he realised I caught him but just continued staring. I started to feel uneasy as no emotion was portrayed in his face, but he simply watched me. I was beginning to get scared as when I looked away then back at him, he was still staring. What the fuck?
As soon as Dontae stepped up the shop, the weird guy scrolled his window up and vroomed off down the road. That was so weird.
‘Who was that?’ Dontae asks me. I shrug as I rub my arms, attempting to get rid of the goosebumps. Why had this unknown man had such a reaction to me?
‘He was just staring at me. Like just watching me and as soon as you came, he drove off.’ I say frowning.
‘What?’ Dontae turns to face me. ‘Did you recognise him?’ Dontae asks me. I shook my head.
‘But he looked like he knew me. What a creep.’ I chuckle slightly.
‘How old was he?’ I turn to face Dontae with a weird look on my face.
‘Why all the questions?’ I ask.
‘How old was he Jayda? And what did he look like?’ Dontae asks more seriously.
‘He was like 19-20. And he had light brown skin, like Keiara’s colour, he had curly hair and brown eyes. And he had a little goatee.’ I say remembering everything I could. Come to think of it, he was slightly buff for a creep. ‘Oh. And he had a tattoo of a bar code on his hand.’
‘Are you sure?’ Dontae asks me again.
‘Yes.’ I say like he’s stupid. He mutters swear words under his breath as he brings out his iPhone, rapidly tapping on the screen with a look of anger, and worry on his face. ‘Tae? What is it? Do you know him?’ He doesn’t reply to me as he continues typing. ‘Ignore me then prick.’ He was typing for about 10 minutes, until he realised I had spoken and we were at Tesco’s.
‘What? Nah, it’s nothing b.’ He says putting his phone away but his face said something completely different.
‘Are ypu sure?’ I ask.
‘Yes.’ He mimics the way I had said it earlier. I screw him and push his head as get the items we required. As we were paying, Dontae had a look of deep concentration on his face.
‘Tae?’ I say as we were leaving.
‘Yeah b? I gotta go yeah, but get home safely and call me when you get home.’ He says pulling me into a hug. My eyebrows furrow as I hug him back. Why was he acting so weird? I knew it was to do with that man in the car but I didn’t know what. I racked my brain trying to put a name to his face but I couldn’t. It’s like my brain was purposely blocking this man out.
‘Alright.’ I say. He plants a soft kiss on my lips. We turn to walk in different directions as I think of how weird today has been. I decided to walk since I stupidly forgot my oyster card. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up after 10 minutes of walking and I slowly looked around to see the same car from earlier following me.
Shit shit shit.
Dontae wasn’t here this time. I sped up walking and the car sped up. As soon as I slowed down, so did the car. I wanted to cry as I walked down the secluded road. I still had a 10 minute walk to get home. If I ran, I would definitely be caught so I simply walked, acting as if I hadnt seen the car. My heart started to beat faster as the car drove at the same pace as me. I didn’t know whether to call anyone or even bring my phone out, what if he robbed me?
I swear I thought my life was over. This man could be some child snatcher, or a psychopathic murderer and he obviously knew me. I started to walk faster, realising I was a few roads away from home. I said thousands of silent prayers in my head as my walking sped up. The car noticeably sped up also and I nearly cried. I clutched my side as a stitch formed, and my mouth became dry from the fast walking. As I turned onto my road, I broke out into a light jog and the sped up, travelling at my pace. I ran faster and faster until i reached my house,. I began banging on the door as I heard the car pull up outside my house.
‘Open the door!’ I scream as tears roll down my face. My dad opened the door, looking confused as I heard the car speed off. I slammed the door shut and broke down into tears feeling terrified.
‘Jayda? What happened?!’ My dad says pulling me into his arms. I couldn’t reply as more tears sped down my face. I knew I was crying because I was scared, but also because of something else. Something I did not know why. Why had that man been so unrecognisable but yet so familiar?
‘So, he saw you at the shop then drove off when Recks came. Then he followed you home and drove off when the door opened?’ Jay asks me as I sat cuddled up to my mum. I nod again. As soon as I was able to, I had told my dad what had happened and he told my mum as soon as she got home who had immediately told Jay who came over in less than 7 minutes.
‘And you don’t recognise him?’ My mum asks. I shake my head.
‘No. But something about him is familiar, I just don’t know what.’ I shrug. I still felt scared. This man knew where I lived now, that’s if he didn’t already. Jay nods with a thunderous expression on his face.
‘Describe him again.’ Jayden says. I groan.
‘I have already! I just wanna forget it.’ I mutter as I lay my head on my mum’s shoulder and closed my eyes.
‘Just explain again, and don’t miss anything out.’
‘He’s Keiara’s colour. Has Jheri curls. Normal brown eyes. A small goatee. A tattoo of a bar code near his thumb on one of his hands. He was driving a blacked out car. I don’t know what car it was but it was kinda long and had silver outlining on the bonnet.’ I repeat what I had said for the past hour of this interrogation. Jay and Jayden look at each other discreetly before leaving the room. I knew they knew something, so did Dontae but no one wanted to tell me even though it involved me!
‘Are you hungry baby?’ My mum asks planting a kiss on my head. I shake my head.
‘Just tired. I’m gonna go to sleep.’ I say getting up, kissing my mum and dad on the cheek before going upstairs. I heard hushed voices coming from Jayden’s room and as soon as I walked in, they both went silent.
‘Are any of you guys gonna tell me what’s going on?’ I ask.
‘From now on don’t travel by yourself. Make sure you’re always with someone. If you ever see the car call me immediately and go to the nearest person’s house.’ Jay informs me, completely disregarding my question.
‘Who is he?’ I ask wearily.
‘We intend to find out. Go bed little one.’ Jay wraps his arms around me before kissing my forehead and sighing deeply. I leave the room feeling confused as to why he showed me so much emotion. I attempted to forget the events of today as I settled down to sleep.
I tossed and turned through the night as for the first time in 2 years, I had a nightmare. My eyes opened as I kicked the sheets off me, which were stuck to my body from the sweat I had produced. Tears rolled down my face as my nightmare replayed in my head. It had consisted of Dani dying in my arms except this time her eyes were wide open as she threw questions at me, asking why I didn’t save her, why had I let her die, why had I left her all alone, wherever she was, why hadn't I helped her. I sat up as I attempted to stifle my sobs, squeezing my eyes shut to get the image of Dani out my head.
My door creaked open causing my eyes to snap open and I turned to see Jayden looking concerned. As soon as he saw my tears, he ran over to me. He sat next to me and held me, rocking me backwards and forwards, shushing me and rubbing my back continuously as my cries quietened down. He didn’t even have to ask, he knew. He stayed with me until 5 in the morning, when I finally fell asleep, wrapped up in his arms.