AGNES LEFAY
"I need to see him" I stated as I rose from the couch, heading for the door.
"I don't think that's a very good idea right now." Jay commented
"Why the hell not?" I argued "I want to talk to him"
"We can answer any questions you may have"
"But it's not your story to tell, it's his! Why are you being so difficult?!"
I honestly didn't get why he was trying to stop me. I headed for the door but Conner softly grabbed my wrist bringing me to a halt.
"He's not himself right now" Conner was being annoyingly vague but there was a slight hint of fear in his voice that piqued my curiosity.
"Don't be obtuse, Conner. Just say what you're trying not to tell me" My patience was wearing thin. Conner seemed to appreciate my direct approach as a sexy smirk spread across his face. "Fair enough. Straight to the point, I like that. But please, sit back down" His arm motioned back to the sofa but I stood firm, raising my eyebrow in challende, daring him to say something.
He kept quiet. Smart man.
I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot impatiently waiting for him to begin. I knew I was being petulant but for some unknown reason, I couldn't stop. Blake affected me, there was just something within him that I recognised from within me and even though he was a grade A asshole ninety percent of the time, I felt a connection to him. His pain called to mine.
"Blake's- Condition" He said after a hesitant pause. "Usually means that the person has more than one identity. This doesn't mean he is crazy, it's not a form of psychosis like schizophrenia. Schizophrenics have no grip on reality, they hear voices." I nodded in understanding but stayed quiet to let him continue speaking.
"Blake is different. He has a second voice. " I tilted my head slightly, my curiosity in overdrive. "He has two distinct identities within him. Both with very different personalities. Blake and Damian. Blake has been in control since you met him, hell, he's been in control for nearly a year. You see, Blake had a rough childhood and Damian came in to existence as a coping mechanism to get him through it. When bad stuff happened, Damian would take control to protect him. Blake has no memory of anything that happens when Damian is in control which both infuriates and relieves him at the same time. His life recently, has been so stable and controlled that we haven't seen Damian in a very long time."
"Not until the dead girl turned up" I interjected. My voice sad, that I had been the catalyst for Blake's broken sanctuary of ease.
"Not until this morning" Jay cut in
"You mean-"
"Yes. Damian showed up when you guys had your moment on the couch. The only thing I am not sure of is who was the one kissing you and who was the one shoving you to the floor. It's obvious that Blake is attracted to you but he also hates your current- Condition" He hesitated before saying condition just like Conner had. "So, it's anyone's guess who was who"
Ok, I felt weird that there was a chance that I had been making out and more with a complete stranger. Meaning now, I had more questions than I had begun with. But there was only one person who could answer my questions truthfully, especially about this morning and he's not standing in this room.
"So why can't I see him?" I asked again
"Because when we left him, Damian, was fighting for control and until we know which one of them shoved you and why they did it, it's not safe for you to be around them. We don't know if he wanted to hurt you or protect him"
"I understand" I replied, turning on my heal "But that's not going to stop me!" I threw over my shoulder on my way out of the door and heading down to Blake's apartment.
I was standing outside of his door when the guys caught up to me.
"You guys don't need to be here. I'll be fine" I soothed
"You've never seen what Damian can do. The horrors that he endured for Blake has made him angry and violent. Even we are cautious when he's about."
Conner's words made me pause this time. They feared Damian. They didn't trust him. So I would be an idiot not to heed their warning. This really wasn't the best idea when there was a huge chance of me being hurt. If it was Damian that had pushed me, it was probably because he didn't like me getting close to Blake. Opening him up for a chance of being hurt and he wouldn't take too kindly to me showing up out of the blue and agitating Blake with the barrage of questions that I had for him.
I lifted my hand and wrapped my knuckles against his door, with three loud knocks.
Guess I was an idiot.
A very red eyed and shirtless Blake answered the door moments later. His posture hunched and his feet dragging against the polished cherry hardwood.
"Are you high?" I blurted, my mouth engaging before my brain once again
"What the fuck it's got to do with you?!" His deep voice growled at me. The vibrations bringing back the memories of his groans and thrusts from earlier. If my heart was beating, my cheeks would be flushed berry red right now.
"Damian?" I whispered unsure, testing the waters before diving right in.
"Fuck no! And don't fucking talk to him it's hard enough fighting his control as it is" He glanced over my shoulder at a guilty looking Conner and Jay as my words resonated with him.
"You fucking told her?!" He asked incredulously. Betrayal marring his face.
I spun on the guys pointing an accusatory finger at them.
"He didn't know you were telling me! I told you that was his story to tell in the first place but to do it against his wishes is a dick move guys" at least they had the decency to look ashamed and properly chastised.
"We thought it was best you knew-"
"Save it." I cut them off before turning back to apologise to Blake for being outed against his wishes. I knew what it was like to have someone take control away from you, how much it sucked. And that's what they did to Blake, they took control of his secret and from the little I knew of him he coveted control. At least now I know why, even though I shouldn't. Not until he was ready to tell me.
I braced myself for the angry look on his face but instead he actually looked impressed. I must have been spot on with my lecture.
"S'pose you better come in then"
He took a step back giving me room and holding the door open for me as I entered.
His apartment was nice. Cosy, like mine. But knowing what I know now, I could tell there were two people and very different personalities living here. The walls and sectional couch were a light grey and looked very neutral, calm and classy against the shiny cherry hardwood floor. Obviously, Blake's taste. But Damian's influence was seen in shocking bursts of blood red accessories. From paintings, to throw pillows and to the rug in the centre of the floor. A stark contrast to the grey backdrop.
Taking a seat on the sectional, I stared at the glass bong and the ashtray with a handful of joint butts on the coffee table as I waited for Blake and the guys to join me. I idly wondered if he had smoked all of that today. The room was slightly smoky and smelled of weed but not enough to suggest that he'd be medicated that much. There was enough paraphernalia on the table to take down a rhino. But his eyes did tell me that he'd had a fair amount.
Blake joins me on the sofa a few feet away. Lifting his knee on to it so he can turn to face me. I looked around, waiting for Conner and Jay to join us. After a few moments, it became clear that they weren't joining us. I turned back to Blake, giving him a questioning look.
"They're giving us the illusion of privacy" He answered
"How so?"
"They think this should be a private conversation between us but they don't trust me alone with you so they're hiding out in the bedroom. Just in case."
I just nodded. I didn't have the same fears as the guys but I guess that's because I had never seen the full extent of Damian. But the way I saw it, it didn't matter how bad he was. He couldn't kill me twice.
Looks like I've lost self preservation along with my heart beat, filter and the ability to take a bath in peace.
"So, what do you want to know?"
Everything! I wanted to say. But instead I blurted the least important question on my list, shocking myself at how badly I wanted to know the answer.
"Who was I with this morning?"
Blake took a sharp breath also not expecting that to be my first question.
"Damian" He stated bluntly
"No, not who shoved me. Before-" I let the words the words trail off with embarrassment.
"Damian" He repeated sharper "I, was the one who shoved you"
I was startled by his unexpected answer. Not once did it occur to me or the guys that Damian would be the lover and not the fighter. This revelation made my stomach clench but I wasn't sure if it was in a good or bad way.
"I don't understand. I hadn't met Damian up until that point"
"Just because you didn't know about him, doesn't mean that he didn't know about you. He's always watching."
Well, that didn't sound ominous at all.
"Why did he kiss me?"
"How the fuck should I know?! I have no control over what he does." There's the C word again "I'm not even present when he's here"
It looks as though I will have to save my Damian questions for when he shows up.
"Ok, so tell me then why did you shove me?"
"Why do you think? What would you do if you woke up the way I did?"
I thought about that for a second. Waking a lover with foreplay was one thing but to wake up and find someone mid orgasm on top of you was quite another. I would have freaked the fuck out.
"Fair point. But you knew I didn't know about your condition so why be such a dick afterwards?"
His lips pulled into a dark smirk that made me feel on edge.
"Because you're a fucking corpse and are nothing but trouble to me and my brothers, you're going to hurt them. I don't know if it will be physical or emotional but I know it will happen."
"I would never-"
He cut me off raising to his feet
"I think that maybe you should leave" He gestured towards the door. "I tried to be accommodating for Conner and Jay but I just can't stand being around you anymore."
Wow, just sucker punch me in the gut why don't you! A pain tore through my chest at his hurtful words.
"I can't even began to understand why you hate me so much. I may be dead but I do know that I would never speak to someone the way you just spoke to me. Having a heartbeat doesn't mean that you have a heart."
I rose to my feet and headed to the door. Pulling it open, I turned to him before leaving.
"Conner and Jay were right not to leave me alone with you."
"And why's that?" Arrogant asshole
"Because you did hurt me." Tears filled my eyes threatening to spill.
I make to leave his apartment when a hand grabs my wrist and pulls me back around.
"Agnes-" My name sounding almost painful on his lips.
Before my eyes his posture changed. He stood straighter, almost a foot above my head and no longer hunched over. His shoulders pushed back and his feet parted into the stance of an alpha male. His eyes, shifted from an almost coal black to a rich golden hazel. I couldn't believe my eyes, he looked so different but so much the same. This could not be possible.
"Damian-" I breathed
"Say that again" He said as if a threat, although, there was no menace behind it.
And seeing that I had no self preservation, I did.
"Damian"
His lips crashed down on to mine with a painful force as his hand gripped tightly to the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair. My eyes widened in shock before my brain caught up and I kissed him back with the same fervour that he was giving me.
I didn't realise we were moving until my back was pushed against a flat surface. The jolt of my body against the wall knocked a bit of sense back in to my lust addled brain.
This was Damian kissing me. This was Damian's arousal pressing in to my soft stomach. This was Damian that was raising my hands above my head, pinning them to the wall as his lips made their way to the soft spot below my ear.
And Blake would not be OK with this.
"We should stop" I moaned
He didn't, he carried on, kissing along my jaw line. His free hand gripping my hip and pulling me harder against him as he ground against me.
"Blake hates me" I try again.
"Fuck him!" He growls before continuing his exploration of my neck. Sucking and nipping almost painfully at the sensitive skin.
"He doesn't want this"
"He does, he just doesn't know it yet" His lips find their way back to mine pulling the tender swollen flesh between his teeth before releasing it with a pop.
"I want to fuck you so bad" His crass words light my nerve endings on fire. A bullet of lust firing directly down to my core. I have to resist.
"Not until Blake agrees." My words release on a squeak.
Damian goes rigid. Anger wiping away the lust on his face.
"Why does he always get the good and I have to endure the bad" My heart broke in two at his sad words. I suppose no one ever cares about the effect on the alter ego with Blake's condition. This side of Blake has seen and endured horrors that most could probably never imagine. He has been the one that has kept Blake going and sane. It seems wrong to deny him something he deems as good. But it also seems wrong that we go against Blake's will.
"You deserve the good too" I lift my hand and stroke down his handsome face. Butterflies spring free in my chest when he nuzzles against my hand then placing a gentle kiss in my palm.
"But we can't until Blake agrees" I repeat.
Damian throws his head back in anguish and roars as he brings his fist back before it comes firing towards my face.
I close my eyes and hold my breath as I wait for the impact and pain. But it doesn't come. Not to my face anyway. The drywall bedside my head explodes in a cloud of dust as his fist connects with it. The sound of the impact making me flinch away from him.
Damian saw my flinch and his eyes sobered. Regret filling them in an instant.
"Damian-"
My words are cut off by the bedroom door swinging open and nearly off it's hinges as Conner and Jay come running out. Panic written across their faces as they take in our position and then the gaping hole in the wall.
"Back off, Dame" Jay says in an authoritive tone. His fists clenched and ready to fight.
Damian shakes his head, hurt by Jay's unspoken insinuation that he would hurt me. Without saying a word, he stormed passed the guys, grabbing his bong from the table before storming in to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him. The force shaking more drywall loose on to my shoulder from the hole in the wall.
"What happened, are you OK? Did he hurt you?" Jay's eyes roamed over my body from top to toe looking for any signs of injury. His eyes darkened as they zoned in on my neck.
"Did he do that?" His fury was barely being contained as he nodded towards my neck. My hand moved to feel for it instinctively.
"Do what?" I pushed passed Jay and walked in to the bathroom behind him, switching on the fluorescent light.
I lean towards the mirror taking a closer look at my neck, even though there is no need as I can see the marks quite clearly from a distance.
A fucking hickey! He gave me a goddamn hickey! What is he, a fucking teenager?! I'm pissed that he has bruised me for all to see but there is also a small part of me that likes the visual proof of his attraction to me. His claim on my body.
Jay steps behind me. His reflection in the mirror showing his concern.
"Why did he hurt you?"
"He didn't hurt me."
"Then what happened?"
A coy smile brakes free from my lips as my fingers lightly trace the bruised skin of my neck.
"It would seem that Blake's alter ego has taken a liking to me"
Jay tilts his head in confusion, not understanding what I am saying. Conner, however, gets my meaning as his loud laughter takes Jay by surprise, making him jump.
Conner joins Jay in the mirror standing behind me. A shit eating grin spread across his boyishly handsome face.
"It would seem that Damian has a little crush"
Jay's mouth forms an O as realisation hits him.
"So this morning, Damian was the one-" I nodded answering his question before he can finish it.
"Yup, Damian was the one who kissed me."
"Then that would mean-"
"Blake was Mr McShovey" I cut in again
"Oh, fuck" Jay ran his hands through his already tousled hair. "Blake's going to be seriously pissed!"
"Too late, he already is" Blake's voice cuts in from the bathroom door startling us all.
Conner just laughed harder.