Newt: I think we should break up.
The text lingered on Thomas' screen, making him feel sick to his stomach. He read it over and over again, driving a knife deeper into his heart each time. His hands were shaking and his entire body felt heavy.
He immediately called Minho, feeling tears prick at his eyes. Minho knew Newt the most out of all of them, he'd know what to do. The runner picked up on the third ring.
"Hey Thomas, what's up?"
"Newt's trying to break up with me." Thomas sniffled into the phone. He wiped his eyes hard to try and stop the tears.
"What? Did you guys fight?"
"No. I just randomly got the text."
Minho's voice softened instantly. "Hey Thomas. Don't cry."
Thomas sniffled hard, shoving his face into a blanket. "I-I'm not crying."
"Thomas. He doesn't want to break up with you. He loves you."
"The why is he doing it Minho?!" Thomas was shouting into the phone, not caring about how loud his voice was getting.
"He's fuckin depressed Thomas!" Now Minho was shouting. Thomas wanted to throw up.
"I love him...I can't..." Thomas' voice cracked as he let out a sob.
"Thomas I need you to calm down for me okay? You need to breathe. I want you to sit on the floor until I can get there okay?"
Thomas made a strange strangled sound. "O-Okay."
Thomas heard the sound of Minho's keys before he hung up. Thomas' hands were shaking and his vision was blurring with the tears. His stomach wouldn't settle and his chest hurt due to the intense tightness. He didn't even know Newt last year but suddenly he imagine existing without him.
Thomas slid down the living room wall til he was sitting like Minho told him to. He dropped his head between his knees, squeezing his eyes shut to will himself to not cry anymore. He didn't want Minho to see him that weak. He stayed that way for what felt like forever until he heard the front door swing open.
"Thomas?"
Thomas took a shaky breath and lifted his head, his eyes stinging and his cheeks still wet. "In here Min."
Minho dropped his keys and headed into the living room, immediately dropping down next to Thomas. "Are you okay?"
"I feel like my heart was put through a blender, but otherwise I'm fine."
Minho frowned and sat next to Thomas. "Did you text him back?"
"No. I can't look at it without feeling sick."
"Give it to me."
"What?"
"Your phone. Give it to me. Newt doesn't want to break up with you, he's trying to push you away. He doesn't think he deserves you and I care about you two too much to let your relationship go to shit over this."
Thomas put his phone in Minho's outstretched hand and leaned his head on the runner's shoulder to watch what he was typing. Minho didn't move, so Thomas assumed he didn't have a problem with it. "Have you told him you love him yet?"
"Yeah after prom."
Minho nodded and started typing, his fingers flying across the screen keyboard.
Thomas: I don't want to break up, Newt I love you
Newt's typing bubble popped up on the bottom of the screen immediately. Thomas felt like he was holding his breath and couldn't exhale.
Newt: I'm sorry. this is it.
Thomas felt the tears coming again and he scooted closer to Minho, trying to keep quiet but feeling his heart physically break.
Thomas: I love you and you love me. We're good together Newt, don't do this.
Newt: loved thomas. I lovED you.
You could hear a pin drop in the room. Minho knew that hurt Thomas bad. The smaller boy went rigid, his body stiffening as letting out a choked sob.
"He doesn't mean it Thomas, I promise he doesn't."
"He didn't call me Tommy, he always calls me Tommy." Thomas wiped his eyes and took the phone back, typing furiously.
Thomas: What happened to our world Newt? Just me and you against it all? You promised me. You promised me you'd let me help. You promised we could get through this together. You promised you wouldn't face it alone. You promised. I love you Newt and want you, all of you. I want your not working leg, I want your tragic backstory, I want you with this disease because it's a part of you and I love YOU.
Minho put his arm around Thomas' back, pulling him into his side. Thomas was still shaking, tears freely rolling down his cheeks at this point. Minho stayed quiet, just being there.
Newt: I don't need your help or your pity. I'm sorry I wasted your time. goodbye thomas.
Thomas: You can try and push me away Newt, but I'm not going anywhere.
Newt: you claim you love me right? then let me fucking go.
Thomas didn't respond. He let the phone fall out of his hand, landing on the carpet. He collapsed on Minho, breaking down into sobs in the bigger boy's shirt.
Minho patted his back, obviously feeling awkward with the situation. "There there."
Thomas almost laughed. He would have laughed if his eyes weren't bursting dams of tears.
Thomas cried and cried into Minho's shirt until he felt sick. His nose was running and his eyes were swollen. When he pulled out from Minho's shirt he looked like complete shit. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, hiccupping and sniffling loudly. "Sorry."
Minho smiled softly. "It's okay Tommy."
"What do I do Min?"
"I think you should give him space for a few days. I'll still go to his house frequently, check on him and let you know how's he doing. After a couple days you can come with me and we'll talk to him together in person."
Thomas nodded, standing up and dusting himself off. "Is it okay if I go take a shower?"
Minho nodded, looking a little relieved. Minho wasn't the best with feelings. "Of course. Just text me if you need anything."
Thomas made a beeline for the bathroom while Minho grabbed his keys and left. He immediately turned on the shower, letting the hot water wash over his skin and the calming sounds help clear his mind. He tried to think about anything but Newt. His ex-boyfriend. Fuck that hurt.
Thomas stood there until the water ran cold. Once he was shivering he got out and wrapped his waist in a towel. He immediately grabbed his phone and texted Teresa.
Thomas: Newt broke up with me. Can you spend the night?
Teresa was over within ten minutes and if they spent the whole night eating ice cream and watching stupid movies, well that was no one else's business but their own.
***
Thomas woke up the next morning to eight missed calls from Newt at three am. He felt his heart jump in his chest as he got off the couch where he'd fallen asleep with Teresa. He immediately called him back, receiving no answer. It went straight to voicemail. He was about to try calling again when his phone started ringing. It was Minho.
"Hello?"
"Newt's in the psych ward."
"I'm sorry what?"
"I guess he went in last night. His mom took him. She got freaked out, thought he was gonna attempt again. He can't get visitors and he can't come out until they deem him fit to leave."
"She put him in a fucking psych ward?!" Thomas screamed into the receiver, waking up Teresa.
"Thomas calm down, he's safe there."
"He isn't crazy! He doesn't belong there. He can't walk! What if they make him wear shorts? What if they hurt him? What if, what if-" Thomas trailed off, feeling tears prick at his eyes again.
"Tom what's going on?" Teresa asked from the couch.
"Thomas calm down!" Minho snapped at him from the other line. "If you keep freaking the fuck out we're not gonna be able to do shit to help Newt. No one's gonna hurt him. They obviously know he can't walk and they're not gonna torture him."
Thomas was taken aback by Minho's tone, but he was right. "Sorry."
"Get yourself together. I'll talk to you later when I know more." Minho hung up then, leaving Thomas staring at the phone wondering what the hell just happened.
"Tom what the fuck is happening?" Teresa asked again, getting up and grabbing Thomas' arm.
Thomas looked at her, his expression falling. "Newt's in the psych ward."
***
Twelve days. Newt was in there for twelve days.
Thomas didn't sleep properly for eleven nights.
He spent a lot of time with Minho. They never talked about Newt, but he knew they hung out to indirectly comfort each other.
He was at Minho's house, playing some stupid XBox game when Newt's mom texted him.
Mrs Issacs: Newt's getting out today. Would you and Minho like to pick him up with me?
Thomas was dragging Minho out the door before he even responded to the text.
They met Newt's mom in the hospital parking lot. They walked in together, waiting in the second floor waiting room for Newt to come out.
Thomas shifted his weight between his feet, playing with his hands nervously. He wanted to see Newt so badly, but he was petrified of how the blonde boy was going to react.
It felt like a slow motion movie when Newt was being wheeled out of the doors closing off the hospital wing. He didn't look great, but he didn't look bad. His face was sunken in but he didn't look lifeless. He had on sweatpants and a white t-shirt. His hair was clean and brushed but the ends were curled up, Thomas could tell it was from where Newt had been pulling on it. Newt's mom instantly ran to hug him. She squeezed her son tightly, whispering something in his ear that Thomas couldn't hear.
When Newt's mom let go of him, the nurse motioned Newt's mom over to him so they could talk. Thomas' heart was beating out of his chest. His nerves only got worse when Newt's gaze fell on them.
Newt frowned. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"
Thomas felt gutted all over again, like he'd been punched in the stomach. "W-what do you mean?"
"Do you know what a 'break up' is?" Newt snapped, rolling over to the two boys. "It means done. Over. You don't have to care about me anymore."
"Newt," Minho said sternly.
Newt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "What? Now you're gonna yell at me? Tell me this isn't what I want because I'm sad." Newt laughed but it lacked all humor. "Fuck off Minho."
Minho looked shocked. He opened and closed his mouth like he was desperately trying to find words.
"I'm glad you're okay," Thomas managed to choke out.
Newt rolled his eyes. Actually rolled his eyes. Thomas felt like he was trapped in a nightmare. This wasn't the boy he fell in love with.
"I want you both to leave," Newt said, his voice lacking of all emotion.
"Are you serious?!" Minho's eyes widened as he stared at his best friend in pure shock.
"Yes."
Thomas' eyes were stinging again and he knew the tears were close to spilling over. He didn't want Newt, this Newt, to watch him cry.
"You heard him Min, he doesn't want us here," Thomas said as he grabbed Minho's arm. "Let's go."
Minho didn't budge, still staring at Newt. "I hope you know what you're doing Newt."
Newt just blinked at him, keeping his face expressionless.
Minho ripped his arm away from Thomas, storming out of the waiting room. Thomas looked at Newt one more time, begging the blonde boy to give him something. "Why did you call me before you got put in here?"
Newt refused to respond, instead spinning his wheelchair around and wheeling over to where his mom was still talking to the doctor.
Thomas covered his mouth to stifle the sob that was threatening to burst out. Thomas turned and followed Minho out of the waiting room, not being able to stand looking at Newt anymore. He never knew how bad a broken heart could hurt until he was staring at the back of the blonde boy who was the cause of it.
Thomas trailed his fingers across the wall as he made his way out of the hospital. He should have known. Hospitals aren't happy places, they're full of death and pain and Thomas learned that day nothing hurts worse than a broken heart.