ZACH'S POV
"Where are the damn pictures, Cindy?"
"The service in the area is just trashy my dear. Wait till we get to the city."
Most people on the bus were still not over the team-building activity we had yesterday. A lot of them were recalling the funny memories they had during the games and who cried the most during the evening circle.
I chose to stay quiet in my seat. My eyes darted at the view from the window. I still had the letter in my hand. I've read it so many times I've actually memorized every single word. I don't know how I should react to it. All I know is it's been taking control of a big chunk of my mind and my chest felt like a 50kg dumbbell ever since I laid my eyes on it.
"I hate the fact that I had to lose you just to make me realize what you really mean to me. I've been feeling the same way all along but I was just too scared to admit it to myself. But now I have nothing else to lose. I don't know if it would change how we are at present but please know that my heart is all yours to keep.
I love you, Zach."
Zie.
"Hey. You've been at it since this morning it's starting to get me jealous." Cindy threw her cute little puppy face at me.
I sighed.
I don't know what to say. This freaking letter just drained the life out of me.
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ROZIE'S POV
A long stretch of sugarcane and cornfields were the only thing I've been seeing for the last half hour. The beach is still visible from afar on the other side of the road. It reminded me of the feelings I buried in the shore.
The waves would've reached it by now. And they would've been carried back to the ocean along with the hope I had for reconciliation. The big waves would've swallowed them whole, pulling them down to the depths of the sea, never to be found again.
I guess there are really certain people in our lives who were meant to just pass along, never to stay.
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ZACH'S POV
I've been staring blankly at the ceiling hoping it would speak to me how I'm supposed to deal with this dilemma I have.
"I love you, Zach."
I can just imagine her saying those words to my face. I've been wanting to hear her say it for so long and she finally did. But why do I still feel this way?
I know others would think I'm stupid when what I want is already in front of me but I'm still having second thoughts about whether to grab it or not.
Trust is really such a big deal to me and it's just too difficult to put all the broken pieces together. I would always go right back to the reason why it's been shattered in the first place. But I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say that I can just go on and forget about her and how I felt. I tried all means. I even got myself a diversion.
But who am I fooling?
I'm still madly in love with her.
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FLASHBACK
I was up all night getting myself drunk. I usually get all excited when the clock strikes twelve knowing I'd be spending my special day with the girl I love. It's been four years of consistently being with her and unfortunately, this year would end up differently.
I asked Cindy to come over and keep me company. She does her best to keep me preoccupied. Drunk sex was definitely her specialty. But if there's one thing she always fails to do, it's making me unlove her.
It's the morning after and what better way to celebrate than to have birthday sex. We did it in the shower this time. This girl's just too loud. Good thing I had all walls soundproofed in this unit.
We just got done with the deed and I appreciate her for knowing her place. She never cuddles with me. She's not the clingy type too. We kind of spoke about the terms I have and she was totally cool with it.
"Are you expecting someone?"
"What?"
"Someone's at the door."
"Really? You have good ears.. and a great mouth too."
She smiled naughtily.
"Let me get it real quick."
I reached for the towel and wrapped it around my waist.
Housekeeping's not due in two days and I didn't order anything, so who could this be?
I messed my hair with my hand trying to rid it of dripping water down my face. I opened the door a bit just enough to see who was on the other side. When my eyes saw who it was, my mouth just dropped open. I couldn't believe it.
It was her.
She looked as surprised as I am. It took a moment for her to get herself together while I just stared at her speechlessly. I didn't know what to say. She was the last person I'd expect to show up at my doorstep.
She blurted out something but was cut short when Cindy suddenly showed up behind me.
"Who is it?"
Her eyes failed to conceal how taken aback she was to see someone with me. Hurt was displayed all across her face.
"Oh aren't you.."
Honestly, I just wanted to put Cindy in a bag and throw her somewhere. I felt really guilty. It's like being caught doing something I wasn't supposed to. I know we're not in a relationship, to begin with, but I still feel like cheating on her. Seeing her eyes starting to fill with tears makes me want to pull her in and explain myself but I just froze on the spot.
I knew it was already a struggle for her to keep it all together but she still managed to say,
"I just came here to give you these." She put the stuff she was holding at the doorstep and said,
"Happy birthday.." her voice breaking halfway through. And just like that, she was out of sight. I couldn't even watch her walk away. I moved away from the door trying to gather my thoughts straight.
What do I do?
I messed up.
She came. She didn't forget.
She wants to be with me and I was with someone else.
"Ooooh. She got you a cake. How sweet!"
I can hear Cindy whispering from the background.
"Aren't you going to check the paper bag?"
"Please stop talking." I just want silence. I need to think!
"Ooohh it's a heart with a band-aid. How cheesy is that... I know I broke your heart so please let me.."
"Give me that!" I grabbed the small paper out of her hand.
"I thought you didn't care... How do you feel?" She asked with eager eyes.
"No personal questions remember?" I snapped.
"Okaaaay sir." She rolled her eyes and walked towards the bedroom.
I hesitated to read the last line of the letter but I did anyway and it said,
Let me fix it for you.
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The rest of the day went on like hell. I asked Cindy to leave. I didn't need her presence at the moment. Sex can't shrug off what just happened.
I stared at the heart-shaped pillow at the corner of my bed. The band-aid plastered across its chest was mocking me. If only it was just that easy. Break someone's heart, place a band-aid over it and everything's fixed just like that. She was surely asking a lot from me. I reached for the pillow and was about to throw it right across the room when her face from earlier suddenly flashed in my mind.
I wasn't the only one who's broken. I broke her heart too.
Evening came and this day was just useless as ever. I wasn't with her. I was all alone. And my mind is driving me crazy. I feel so uneasy. It was something about her that I was worried about. Rozie doesn't handle stress and anxiety very well and with the company of the wrong people, she could end up doing things she wasn't supposed to.
I wanted to know if she's doing okay. If she got home safely and her whereabouts at the moment. I stalked her profile and I saw nothing. She wasn't the type to post a lot like Jennie does. Jennie.
My fingers scrambled over my phone's screen as I typed in the evil spawn's name. And just as I thought, she was the right person to stalk to check on Rozie.
She just posted a picture of tequila shots captioned, "The first of many. Long night ahead with my ladies!"
They were out partying at a bar somewhere. Damn it. That bitch, Jennie should've known better that Rozie was a lightweight. She gets drunk with just a couple of beers and being so protective of her, I don't let her drink without me. She just blacks out when she reaches her limit. My mind began to fast forward to the events that might happen tonight. Rozie's drunk. Guys taking advantage. And the rest is just blowing my mind off.
I changed clothes quickly. Looks like I'd be spending this day with her all along.
________________________________________________
And just as I thought, she got drunk alright.
I found the bar where they're at and as the crowd grew bigger by the hour, I kept an eye on her the entire time. She may have done me wrong but nobody's touching my girl.
Her friends were off drunk dancing with some guys they just met while she was left downing another bottle of beer in her hand. A lot of guys were trying to put their moves on her but I swiftly turn them away without her knowing.
She got up from her seat and looked like she needed a bed. She was searching for something as she makes her way into the crowd. Seeing her zombie walk towards the restroom gave me a laugh or two. By the time she reached the doorway, she almost stumbled over. She didn't seem to notice there were a few steps down. Good thing she got a hold of my arm. This is exactly why I'm here.
I patiently waited for her outside of the washroom. I drank what's left of my beer almost not noticing her walk right past me. I followed her from behind while shoving guys that were trying to take a chance on her along the way. She got her phone in her hand now. Watching her struggle to enter the pattern correctly made me burst out laughing. She accidentally dropped the phone though when two stupid girls bumped onto her.
She searched the dancefloor with her eyes that could barely even see clearly.
"Damn it! Those bitches didn't even care to apologize." She said out loud.
"Looking for this?" I held the phone out for her to see as she turned around."Look at yourself. You're drunk as fuck." Her cheeks were flushed red. She was wasted.
She moved closer to me. Her eyes tried to make out who I was but the strobe lights were no help to her already blurred vision.
"Who you with? You came alone?" I said to her ear. I knew she can't recognize me.
"I'm with my friends but I guess I lost them somewhere. Can I have my phone back?" She replied.
"Come with me."
"Sorry but I have to get home. My phone please." She laid her hand out in front of me but there was no way I was going to let go of her phone nor her.
"Stop playing hard to get love. You know you're easy." I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the crowd. She tried to free herself out of my grasp but I held on to her firm enough she couldn't break free.
"I'm not leaving without my friends.." she said as I placed her into my car.
"They already left without you." I lied.
I swiftly bent over as I put the seatbelt on for her and I noticed how tense she was. It just amazes me that she still can't recognize me.
"Don't worry love. You'll thank me enough once this night's over."
"Is this a hotel?" She suddenly blurted out after being silent for a few minutes.
"Sort of." I smiled to myself.
"Hey, mister. I just wanna go home okay? I'm not that kind of girl.." she said courageously.
"If you're not that type, then why get so wasted when you can't even look out for yourself?"
That shut her up alright. "Ease up now. I'm not some psychopath. We're here to have a good time."
This was probably the drunkest she's ever been. She can't even walk anymore.
"Hey. We're not there yet. Keep your eyes open."
She passed out. I had no choice but to carry her all the way to my unit.
I placed her on the bed. It's been long enough since I have her close like this. I studied her face. She had make-up on. Jennie's doing no doubt. Her breath smelled like beer and her hair like cigarettes but I didn't mind. I was so into her both in her best and worst states.
"Why did you get so wasted Love?"
Her eyes suddenly sprung open.
She touched the side of my face and her touch gave me goosebumps. I longed for her and so I savored the feeling as she cupped my cheeks with her cold hands. As I stare into her eyes, I began to wonder if she knows who I am. She pulled my face closer to hers and it took all my might to control myself from suffocating her with endless kisses I badly want to give.
"Do you know who I am?" I asked.
"I'm not really sure. You're a little bit blurry." I sighed. If I was some crazy ass guy, she would've been raped by now.
"But I know how I feel about you." Sooner than I thought our lips were moving in sync. My birthday isn't so bad after all. I was kissing the girl I'm in love with. But what she said next just blew me away. "I love you, Zach." I couldn't believe what I just heard. I just had to pull away for a sec.
She knows who I am! But did she mean it? Didn't they say that drunk people always tell the truth? But I didn't care anymore. I kissed her again with so much passion this time and she responded the same way. I want her. I want all of her.
I started to undress while my eyes were still fixed on her. She was so beautiful. How can I get over her when she looks this amazing? I plan to spend the remaining hours of this day making love to her. I went on top of her and our kisses resumed right away. I began planting kisses down her neck. The feeling I have right now is nothing compared to how I feel when I'm with Cindy. It was just plain fuck time with her. But Rozie isn't the type you'd just fool her around with. She was meant for making love.
"Stay with me, Zach. I can't lose you again." She said with her eyes closed.
"I'm not going anywhere, love," I said to her reassuringly.
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When I thought getting even could make me feel better, it made me feel even worse. Seeing her hurt just drives me nuts. For so many times I have put up a strong facade but deep inside, I hated myself for letting her go through such pain just to prove the point that she shouldn't have lied and lead me on.
FLASHBACK
I can hear the crowd cheering from the background. I was never into games but for once, it actually got me thrilled who I was walking towards.
As I take one step after another, the people around were screaming with delight.
My hands that were reaching forward finally touched someone's shoulder. There were only four of them I had to choose from and two of which were fat so it brings me down to Cindy or Rozie.
I moved my hands upward to her face and I know right then who it was.
I know her from head to foot. I guess that's what Love can do to a person. You study the entirety of her simply because she interests you a lot even to the smallest detail.
As my fingers traced her face, I felt wetness on her cheeks. My nearness to her made it possible for me to hear her breathing heavily as if she was trying to stop her face from shaking. When my fingertips touched her eyes, I validated that she was indeed crying.
Is this what I wanted? I feel ashamed of myself. If we were alone, I would have hugged her close but the situation only permitted me to say, "Don't cry, Love."
I knew she stopped breathing for a second. She definitely did not expect me to blurt those words out. I wanted to say more like how I miss her like crazy and how I badly want to start over. But time didn't give me the chance to do so.
I felt her hands push mine away from her face. When I took the blindfold off, she was already walking towards the cottage.
How long will you put her through this Zach?
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Anger was a monster that was living inside of me. Rozie tried to kill it and I thought she did but all she managed to do was to put it to sleep and mask it with the love I feel for her.
I struggled to show it that it wasn't the boss of me but again and again it overthrew me.
FLASHBACK
When Paul gave out the instructions for the activity, she was the only person that came to mind. Giving Paul the white one was just a front. Rozie changed me and transformed me into the best version of myself that even I can't do for my own sake.
But the bitterness I felt towards what she did ate me up inside and demanded itself to be felt. So there I go, hurting her again.
"In my 5-year stay in this company, I have a lot of people to be thankful for. But this person has played a major part in transforming me to a better version of myself."
I walked towards her and stopped right in front of her. My eyes never left the paper I was holding.
"This is for you.." For a moment, I was battling with myself. If I hand this over to her, it will all be over. I knew we'll be alright again. But something was whispering inside my head saying that she needed to learn her lesson a bit more and so...
"Sir Justin."
I knew that crushed her but I thought it still wasn't enough. So I threw another one at her.
"This leaves me to the last one..."
I gazed at her for a moment that sent the rest howling in delight.
"Cindy. This one's yours..."
Giving in to the voice in my head gave me relief but it made me feel horrible inside. It was turning me into a monster.
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Such an asshole I am I know. I can't even control myself so how am I supposed to see me fit for her love when I was pinning her down to suffer.
FLASHBACK.
"I'm sorry but I just can't.." I rolled over to Cindy's side.
She sat upright, turning towards me. "You've been this way since we got back. Do you want this to go on?"
"Cin I thought we talked about this.."
"We did talk about the real deal between us and I'm totally cool about it but...I think we need to talk about what's going on here and here." She pointed her fingers at my forehead and my chest respectively.
"What's stopping you?" She followed up.
"I'm not comfortable with talking about myself," I said. My eyes stared blankly at the sheets.
"I know. I know. But just think it over." She got up from the bed and started to get dressed. "You're in love with her. Like crazy. She seemed to feel the same way but you guys just can't put it out there. I mean it's really an eye-rolling experience just watching from a distance."
I looked at her coldly as she tie her hair in a ponytail. "Your hang-ups are what's keeping you from making yourself happy so why not just drop it all?"
I rolled my eyes at her. She doesn't have the right to tell me what to do.
"Don't wait till you lose her again."
That just caught me off-guard. "How did you.."
"People talk Zach. Catch you later" she blew me a kiss and left.
What she said put me deep in thought. I was dealing with all this alone. Rozie was the only one I have and now that she's the one I'm dealing with, I had no one else to turn to. Nobody to get some sense into me.
Cindy's right. I deserve to be happy and Rozie's the only one who could make me. It's about time I stop this bullshit I put up and take off this stupid mask I've been wearing.
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A week after...
ROZIE'S POV
"Honey. Are you home?" I can hear mom calling from the front door.
"Kitchen."
"There you are." Mom had her neck creeping by the doorway
"Yep. We're having corned beef and eggs for dinner. We ran out of food mom. This is the best I can put together."
"No worries. I got take-outs."
"What?! You could've at least told me ahead mom!"
"We can have that for breakfast tomorrow. Anyways. I actually bumped onto someone on my way home."
I didn't show the slightest bit of interest. But my mom was persistent to get my attention. "It's a friend of yours." She could've just told me the name but she was all out for guessing games.
"Who is it?" I didn't even try to conceal
"Come over here, honey."
I got myself busy with stacking the food I prepared into mini containers I didn't notice who she brought home with her."
"Aren't you gonna say hello hon?
"Hell----" To my surprise, I dropped the container to the floor. Good thing I already had it covered.
"Hi." It was Zach. In my house. In my kitchen. With my mom. He was looking at me very intently I didn't know where else to look at.
"I'll go ahead and take a shower real quick. Here honey." She handed over the paper bags to Zach and he earnestly took them from her. "Why don't you help Rozie set up dinner. I know you guys have a lot of catching up to do."
Mom left both of us in awkward silence.
I turned my attention on getting the table set so I took the plates from the drawer and head towards the table outside, passing by Zach along the way.
Of all people mom could possibly bump into, why should it be Zach? And the worse thing is, she has to bring him home and eat dinner with us! Might as well ask him to sleep over!
I grudgingly placed the plates on the table, putting the utensils on to each side. Again world, why do I have to be punished like this??
So what do we exactly talk about? Maybe I should remain quiet and let them both do the talking. Yes. Only answer when asked. I nodded to myself, feeling proud of what I had just come up with.
I went back to the kitchen and saw him struggling from transferring the soup to the bowl. Zach can never survive without a housekeeper.
"Let me." I took it from him and pour it into the bowl smoothly. He was trying to open the next pack but I swiftly took it from his grasp.
I can feel his eyes on me. Damn it. I need to get out of here.
_______________________________________________
We started dinner not long after I got everything prepped up. Zach just stood at one corner while watching me pace back and forth. His silence gave me relief. At least I didn't have to think of what to say just to kill the awkwardness.
"It's been a while since we did this. Rozie and I barely even see each other. It's a good thing we could sit down and talk. When was the last time you were here hon?"
"Uhhm... it's been a while, ma'am. It's a good thing we bumped into each other.."
"Oh, you're still so well-mannered. How I wish Rozie would talk to me like that." Mom laughed out loud. I hate her humor but Zach was polite enough to laugh along with her.
"Anyways. I've always liked you. Rozie's very lucky to have you as a boyfriend." She was teasing.
Zach and I caught each other's eye for a split second but I instantly looked away. Mom seemed to notice that moment.
"Oops. Did I just say something I shouldn't have?"
Acting so innocently.
"We're not.." I just want her to stop talking already. She was making things even worse.
"Really? I thought.."
"Anyways. How's work?" Zach was nice enough to change the topic.
I can no longer stay at this table for another minute. I need to leave.
I secretly messaged Jennie beneath the table.
"Jen, you home? I'm coming over. S.O.S."
Both of them were enjoying their conversation while I was toying with the food on my plate.
Zie. I'm at my uncle's. Won't be home till tomorrow. What about?
I didn't bother giving a reply. I just have to hang out somewhere then. Anywhere but here.
"Hon, is there something wrong with the food"
I shook my head. This was my chance to get out of here. "May I be excused?"
"Is your tummy acting up again?"
"No mom. I... I kinda need to go somewhere.."
"Right now? Can't it wait till we finish dinner?"
I can see Zach looking confused from the corner of my eye.
"It can't."
"But Zach.."
"I'm sure he'll understand.. right?" I looked at him, asking for confirmation that I know he wasn't gonna give. I looked right away before he could even give me a reaction.
"Will you be back right away? We can have dessert when you get back."
"Don't wait up..." Mom shot me a gaze that meant she knew what was going on. We may not always get along but I am still my mother's daughter.
I stood up quickly and glanced at Zach across the table. He was looking at me like he didn't want me to go but of course, it was all in my head. I meant nothing to him so he couldn't care less if I left.
"See you around Zach," I said coldly not even meeting his gaze. I got my bag from the seat next to me and quickly left the room.
When I closed the door behind me, I wanted to shout my heart out.
He didn't even stop me.
He doesn't care Rozie. When will you stop holding on? I scolded myself. Why the heck doesn't life have a reset button!
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ROZIE'S POV
Who in his right mind would knock at someone's door at this time of day??!
My footsteps pounded on the floor as I made my way towards the door. I was in the middle of a very nice dream. Zach was in it and we were okay. But someone just had to wake me up and feed me with the fact that everything was unreal.
I didn't care if I looked like I was just raised from the dead. I opened the door hoping it wasn't a fundraising thing. I am in no mood to be polite.
"Hi, there!" The guy greeted me cheerfully. He was a giant, nearly six feet I guess. He had to bow his head down just so he could fit himself into our porch. He had light brown hair and freckles on her cheeks. From the looks of him, I could tell he wasn't from here.
He was holding a woven basket in one hand.
"We just moved three doors down last night. My mom asked me to bring you these. They're walnut cookies. They're really good."
I begin to regret not even tying my hair in a ponytail. I was the perfect example of how to sport the 'Just woke up' look. I combed my hair with my fingers hoping it would make me look a little more decent.
"I'm Zac by the way." I almost choked on my own saliva. Fudge what?!
"Your name's what?"
"Zac Flemming."
Good Lord of all heavens. Why of all freaking names? The universe must be mocking me. It must have been very entertained watching my life like some reality TV show.
I found my tongue after foolishly ogling at him.
"Zie. Rozie. You can call me Zie." I talked barely opening my mouth. I worry that I might just give him a dose of my morning breath.
"Here." He handed over the basket to me. "Sorry for waking you up. You look like you could still use some more sleep so I'd get out of your way now. See you around Zie."
I smiled and waved at him. The moment I closed the door, I rushed to the nearby mirror. I checked my reflection and saw how terrible I looked. I felt a gloomy cloud raining on me as I felt so ashamed of myself.
But worse than that was the fact that there was yet another Zac I had to deal with when one was already too much to handle.
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ROZIE'S POV
I was on my way to the conference room on the ground floor of the building. Justin called for another meeting. This was the fourth time today and I was already sick of looking at him.
I absent-mindedly walked past the applicants lined up for their interview when suddenly someone called my name.
"Zie! Zie!"
I turned around and found who it was.
"Hi again! I was worried I might not have your name right. You work here?"
"Ye-yes.." I was caught off-guard seeing my new neighbor inside my workplace. Need I say more? I just scratched my head thinking how funny my life was turning into as the days go by.
________________________________________________
"Are you some kind of boss here or something?"
Paul canceled the meeting at the last minute. I was thankful enough but I was left with no choice but to stay awhile with Zac, without the H. His interview was in the next half hour and he asked me to chat with him while he waited. I had nothing else to do so I agreed.
He bought me coffee which I politely took a few sips even though it was my fifth cup for the shift.
"What made you decide to apply here?"
"Well, apart from the very short distance from my neighborhood, our neighborhood, I needed some cash to support my kid."
"Oh. You have a baby. How old is he or she?:
"She's three. Her mom's out of the picture. So it's just me, my sisters, and my 'rents."
"At least you have your whole family to back you up. How does she look?"
"Wait. I have tons of videos of her." He went through his phone while I patiently waited.
"Here. She's just adorable. She totally digs Frozen." He showed me a video of a toddler singing a song from the movie Frozen. She was wearing the exact replica of Elsa's outfit. She was belting her lungs out as she tried to hit all the notes.
"She's sooo cute." I continued watching when suddenly I felt him touch my hair that was falling right into the phone's screen and tucked it gently behind my right ear. I didn't anticipate that. I must have looked stunned but he was smiling at me very sweetly and I thought it was just courteous of me to smile back.
"Flemming!" The recruitment officer called out.
"That's me. Catch you later? Let's walk home together."
I hesitated for a moment but I eventually said, "Sure." He flashed me another smile before he was escorted to the meeting room.
I definitely should take lessons on how to say NO.
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ZACH'S POV
She's doing it again. She's doing it again. How dare she. How can she do this to me?? Such a bitch she is.
I checked the time right in front of me. It was half-past eight. She should be home by now. Where the fuck could she be this time?
I should be at the office right now. I have a shift for Pete's sake. But I'm sitting my ass off in my car for hours now, waiting for her to come home. She needs some explaining to do.
Why should there be another guy? Can't she survive without one?
I have already conditioned myself to open up to her and let myself become vulnerable again and this is what happens!
I downed the entire beer bottle in just one gulp. I can't think clearly anymore. A lot of thoughts were filling my head. Thoughts of her and that guy, what's his name? Oh yeah. We have the same fucking name! God damn it!
Is she doing this on purpose? Why can't it be a John or a Mark instead?? Why.does.it.have
.to.be.a.fucking.Zac.too!
I slammed my hand hard on the steering wheel. If she's doing this to push me off the edge, she sure has done it.
"I kinda need to go somewhere..."
I remember her saying that night when I came to her house. Dinner just got started and she was already asking to leave. She was meeting up with him. I was right in front of her and she chose to sneak off with someone else.
I hit the steering wheel again and again it sent the honk blowing loudly.
I want to crush that guy's head off.
The moment of them both at the pantry appeared in my head so vividly. He was letting Rozie watch something on his phone when he suddenly tucked some strands of her hair behind her ear. She looked at him and he was smiling at her like some kind of maniac. And.she.fucking.smiled.back!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
It took all control to keep me from smashing the bottle into my windshield. I was so furious I was shaking all over. My eyes darted to my rearview mirror and I saw her walking with the fucking guy at the footwalk towards her house. I was parked just nearby. I hurriedly got out of the car.
She asked for this and she's gonna get it.
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ROZIE'S POV
"I can take off from here."
"It's just a few more houses down."
Unexpectedly, I spent the entire day with Zac Flemming. It took him over an hour to get done with the interview and stuff. I badly wanted to go home but I didn't think it would be nice of me to ditch him off like that so I stayed.
We went out of the office together. He was hired really quickly. He was a native English speaker having grown up in Ohio for 22 years. He took a vacation here three years ago and never left since. He was new in the city so I showed him around. He's very sweet. He's the type who thinks of what he says before he says it. Even though I just knew him, I felt so at ease already.
The rest of the afternoon we went malling. We chatted about ourselves and shared funny experiences we had in the past. Talking to him de-stressed me, I barely even noticed it was already past 6 in the evening. We grabbed something to go for dinner and walked on our way home.
I've never gone home on foot before. This was I think the longest I've ever walked in my life but he made the time worthwhile. He was cracking jokes that sent me laughing all the time.
"Soo. This is me. I had fun today."
"Me too. Tomorrow again?" I smiled awkwardly. I wanted to give my feet some rest for a while. They've been worn out from all that walking.
"Sorry. I didn't wanna be a pushover. It's just that. I don't know anybody yet and... I like your company."
"It's fine. Tomorrow then." Here I go again.
"Great. See you then." I waved at him as I watch him walk away. I haven't slept all day I miss my bed so bad.
"How easy for you to jump from one guy to another. It really amazes me." I was stunned to see Zach in front of me. He was looking at me with death in his eyes it was as if he was going to hurt me. Even a couple of steps away, I could smell the stench of alcohol in his breath.
"You've been drinking?"
"Just a little bit." I gestured with my fingers. "I need a whole lot more just to forget how I let myself fall for a leech like you." He took a few steps forward that made me back up a little.
"What?"
"You suck on people. When you find a better one you just move on to the next. You leeched on me. My family was right. I should be very careful who I surround myself with. Because some are even willing to suck my balls just to get a little bit of money. Just like you did."
I slapped him hard on the cheek. I was never degraded like this in my entire life. We may not be well off but I sure didn't need to get myself low just for money. I have a freaking job!
"I stuck with you because I knew there was some good in you and it never was because of your money. Geez, Zach, I knew you were rich but I never thought it actually got to your head."
The slap I gave him seemed to have put him back to his senses.
"Maybe that's why people never stay in your life. It's either people are never good enough for you or you're just too unbearable that your pretty face and your money could never compensate for it. Who are you?"
Zach never bragged about being rich. He remained modest even if people mentioned it all the time. He kept himself grounded and that was one of the many things I've admired about him. But I guess it was never really like that after all.
"Take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you still like what you see. Cause if you ask me, I don't know you anymore." I shoved him by the shoulder as I made my way to the porch. I looked back and saw him standing still on the same spot. That might have hurt him but I didn't care anymore. I was tired of understanding him. I slammed the door behind me.
_______________________________________________
ZACH'S POV
I was waiting for Jennie by the exit. She was the least of all people I'd want to waste my time on but I needed to talk to her about something.
I saw her walking towards the door but several minutes have passed and she's still not out yet. I peeked through the door and found her chatting with some agents on the floor. I waited again.
Five minutes after and still no freaking Jennie. I took another glimpse and she was now laughing with another set of people. Damn it. How many people does she have to come up to before she reaches the door?
I took a deep breath and remained composed. You need her right now. When this is done, she could disappear from the face of this planet for all I care.
After a few light-years, she finally came out from the production floor. She rolled her eyes at me the moment she noticed my presence. I quickly blocked her way but she swiftly moved over to the other side. We were like that for a few seconds then she finally said, "Get out of my way Psycho!"
"Don't think that I'm liking this. Just by looking at you is already pissing me off."
She crossed her arms on her chest and asked, "Then what the hell do you want?"
"It's about Rozie." Her eyes widened when I mentioned her name. "Her birthday's in two days."
"Why do you care? I thought you'd unfriended her." Her perfectly drawn eyebrows were both raised at me.
"I want to prepare something for her." Totally ignored what she said. What I said to her days ago was just overboard. I can't even gather the courage to come up to her and apologize. Jealousy just took over me.
"Hey!" She was pointing her finger right to my face. "You can't do this to her. Don't be the push and pull type. You've been very clear with rejecting her and all and my friend gets it now. Crystal clear. So why don't you waste your time on that little slut you got for yourself?"
"Come on. Just this one time." I don't wanna say please. Asking her a favor was already against my will.
She was looking at me very intently. Her eyes scrutinized my sincerity.
"She's not celebrating."
"What?!"
"Are you deaf?"
Rozie always came up with a plan for her birthday. She's not the materialistic type so buying her gifts never worked for her. Since she's a foodie, it would always be pigging out somewhere or traveling to a new place she's never been. Being supportive as I am, I enjoy spoiling her with whatever she wants.
"She wants to spend it alone. Emphasis on the last word."
My heart sank after hearing what she said. I felt responsible for her making that choice.
"So I guess this talk is over. Not looking forward to speaking with you in my lifetime. Get lost!"
She walked right past me. I didn't pay any more attention to her.
Her mom was always busy at work so most likely, she'd be left home alone. Just thinking about her going through her special day by herself was killing my conscience.
No. It can't be this way.
______________________________________________
ZACH'S POV
"Well, she did mention about going to her Grandmother's house over the weekend."
Her shrill little voice startled me.
"You know where it is right? The one by the beach." I wasn't expecting Jennie to help me but for once I was thankful she ever existed.
"Please make her happy." I can still remember the serious look on her face. She really cares for her and I appreciate her for that.
It was a four-hour drive from the city but it gave me time to straighten out my thoughts. I tried to come up with the things I have to say to her but everything just wouldn't iron out. I gave up and decided to leave it all to the moment.
One thing I know is for sure. I'm not going home without her.
________________________________________________
ROZIE'S POV
It's been years since I came back to this place.
My grandma owns a beach house far from the city. When my dad was still alive, we used to come here often during my birthday. But I came alone this time. My mom was as usual stuck with her schedule from work so I went along by myself. These last few months burnt me out. I just needed peace and quiet. Just the sound of the waves smashing their way to the shore was all I wanted to hear.
I scribbled the letter in the sand. Z. I smiled at the person that came to mind.
What have we become?
The smile disappeared right away.
I drew an X right beside it. X as in x him off my life. I shook my head at this nonsense.
Looking at what I've written, X and Z. Of course, Y should go right in between. Then something struck me.
"Yep. And to my surprise, we actually share the same birthday."
Yoongi. It's his birthday too.
I haven't thought about him in a long while. Zach has totally got me preoccupied. I wonder how he is. Even though Jennie was an undying Kpop fan, she restricted from me any information that just might remind me of him.
I looked up at the sun that was slowly setting on the horizon. He was in a different world as mine but I wonder if we were looking into the same sun and sky. He must be doing really well. I didn't have any bitterness for him anymore. He was a sweet memory of my yesterday and looking back sends smiles to my lips every time.
I rested my head on my knees and let my hand draw the rest of the alphabet in the sand.
"What are you trying to bury this time around?"
I froze in the spot.
That voice. No way.
"More of these?" The follow-up question just proved that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.
I stood up slowly and hesitated to turn around.
I wasn't prepared for this. I was supposed to be alone. Alone!
When I turned, he was standing a few steps away from me. My surprise was not only from seeing him right before my eyes but because of the papers he was holding in his hand.
Those were supposed to be in the ground. How did it find its way to him?
His face began to soften when he spoke again, "Is this true?"
I stayed quiet. I still can't digest the fact that he was here, miles away from where he came from, and that he was holding all the feelings I kept in his hand.
"This is crazy," I said to myself. What is this a movie or something?
My chest began to tighten when he started to walk towards me. I feel like throwing my guts out. I just wanted some time away from everything that's been giving me so much stress. It's my freaking birthday and I deserve to have at least a bit of clarity and peace. And this situation right now is exactly the opposite. The very source of my anxiety is right before me trying to put up a confrontation I wasn't ready for.
Can this day get any better?
"Is this true?" He asked again. Can I not answer? Do I have a choice?
I looked into his eyes and saw how badly they want an answer and so I nodded.
"Are you playing with me? 'Cause if this is one of your silly little games then please spare me. I don't deserve this you know. You have no idea how much misery you've caused me Zie."
His mentioning my name just made me tremble.
"You lying to me like that was just one thing. But me trying to put up a face, acting like I don't give a shit about you was just overboard."
So it was all an act?
"I thought I can unlove you but here I am finding myself still crazy in love with you. It hasn't changed one bit. I never stopped."
His hands touched each side of my face. His gaze sliced right through me.
"So now tell me. I want to hear it straight from your lips. Do you love me too?"
This was really some birthday.
"I do Zach.. and I.."
I didn't even get to finish. He locked his lips into mine. The feel of his lips just swept me off my feet. I caught up with the pace his mouth was trying to put up. All my worries seemed to have crumbled down. I put my arms around his head and let myself get lost in his passionate kisses.
He pulled back a little. Both of us were left breathless from the kiss we shared. He gave me a peck on the nose and on the forehead that sent me smiling like nuts.
"I love you Zie. I'd go crazy if I ever lose you again."
I shook my head gently and held on to both of his hands that were touching my face.
"Never again. Never ever."
________________________________________________
The view of the sunset from this hotel was giving me extreme feelings. Happiness knowing that my birthday is finally coming to an end. There was nothing special about it. I spent half a decade waking up to another year in my life in chic hotel rooms and would find myself sleeping in exhaustion at a seat somewhere with the rest of the members. They gave me the usual cake we prepare for each other during special days like these. But they didn't make an effort to surprise me though just like what they do to the rest of the gang. They knew I never liked surprises and my extreme mood swings have set them back this time.
Sadness in the sense that I was ending yet another day being untrue to myself and the rest of the people around me.
How long can you pull this off? I often ask myself.
How long will you have to make yourself believe that everything's alright?
"Yoongia, dinner's set. Everyone's waiting for you." Jin called out from the doorway.
I stood up from being seated by the pool, git my slippers, and gave the sunset one last look.
It never was. Never is. Never will be. Never ever.
To be continued...