Cara's POV
I swear that women will do anything to drive people mad. When Ashton opened the door. Everyone was there.
They must of noticed my red eyes and mascara stained cheeks becasue their heads spun around, all eyes meeting mine and sorry looks filled their faces.
Literally nothing good stays with me. I'm surprised the lads stuck with me for this long. The longest i've ever been at a home for was probably about 2 weeks and i've been here for about nearly a month.
The boys are way too good for me. They treat me well and are always there but I just throw it back in there faces by getting in trouble and getting drunk.
I ran into my room and slammed my fist into the wall causing a crack. Oops. The anger inside me screamed for more. But what is there to do? If I was to punch more walls i'd probably break my hand or something. One thing came to mind though. Something that I haven't done in months. I went over to my make-up bag and routed to the bottom. I took the silver blade between two fingers and stared at it for a few minutes before deciding if its worth it. It is worth it isn't it?
"Love, are you okay?" A deep voice spoke. I shoved to blade in my bag and opened the door to see who stood there and it was Harry.
"No" I blunty replied. He took me into a hug. His scent was beautiful. He smelt like expensive cologne. I've only ever been able to afford cheap perfume that was in the sale or in the pound shop so i'm not used to smelling nice things. I let little sniffles into his hard chest. I fisted onto his black shirt tightly but he didn't mind. I don't know how long this hug has been going on for but I honestly hope it never ends. I pulled away anyway inscase he was getting creeped out that a ugly hair coloured fat girl is holding onto him like her life depended on it. He is probably getting creeped out. His arms were wrapped around my back and mine around his. He was tall. His beautiful eyes looking directly into mine. Without thinking I just smashed my lips onto his but by the way he looked at me, he was clearly going to kiss me anyway. His lips were warm and soft. Nothing like the other boys i've kissed.
"S-sorry i-" I started but he cut me off by kissing me again which caught me off guard. No one has ever been this gently towards me except him.
"Harry! We have a emergancy meeting! Hurry up!" Louis yelled from the living room. Harry pulled away but all I wanted was more.
"Er.. I gotta go... See you around" His dark voice spoke and he walked away. Just like nothing happened. But I guess he's kissed loads of better girls. Girls that have a gap between there thigh, flawless skin and a perfect. But not me. My thights touch,my skin is full of spots and my body has scars all over. He probably kissed me becuase he felt sorry for me. I took two fingers up to my lips and rubbed along them. My heart is beating fast just thinking about what just happened.
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I woke up the next morning on the sofa. God knows why. I don't even remember falling asleep on here.
"You wake her up!" Calum yelled.
"No. You know she gets aggy in the morning when she's woken up" Luke replied and I laughed.
"Guys i'm awake!" I laughed and I heard loud sighs. They all walked in and took a seat around me. Staring at me. What's going on. Please don't say there kicking me out.
"We've had some news" Calum said sorrow filling his eyes.
"Its about your brother" Michael added.
Oh god no. Please say i'm thinking wrong. I have to be wrong.
"He was put in hospital the other week... He uh um" Luke stuttered.
"Just fucking tell me!" I yelled.
"He tried to kill himself. He cut too deep into his wrist. The vein broke. They tried there best to save him but it was too late. He sent this letter through" Ashton finished.
My eyes filled with water as did his. He handed me crumpled up note. I unfolded it and looked at it carefully.
'Cara x
I''m so sorry for everything. I don't hate you. I love you more than anything. You're so insperational and the best person ever. I'm so sorry but i'm done. Done with life. This has been brewing for to long and i've lost it. I begged them to let me stay in London with you but they dragged me to the car and forced me to move. They've been arrested for impersonating someone that was meant to be the one taking care of me. I love you millions but I really do have to go. Tell Liam that i'm sorry I can't play football with him. Love you and the lads millions.
Ty
Ps. I'm not going to be having a funeral. I don't want people to come and cry. I want to see people smile. Not cry.'
Tears filled all in my eyes. I could've stopped this. There's me worrying about kisses and shit. Then there's but brother being forced to move and commiting suicide. Everything is a mess. How am I meant to get through this. The boys look just as sad as I am. The words went round my head.
'I want to see people happy. Not cry'
But maybe its too soon to smile. I just honestly can't think straight.
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A/N
I was really stuck on what to write so er here.
Hara? Or Lara? ;)
I have a English exam tomorrow. Its my last one till next year :))
Omg who's heard Amnesia by 5SOS? Ahhh.
5SOS are doing a CD signing in London on the 1st but you have to win a competition to get in:((
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xo