Days flipped by, which slowly turned into weeks and months.
I was fast approaching the end of the semester. My last semester. Besides the overwhelming pressure of the semester exams, there was something else that the students looked forward to.
The farewell party or let's just say— the unofficial fashion walk.
Except this time, the farewell came three months too early, so that the poor students got ample time to crap themselves in their final battle.
Was I looking forward to it? Not really. I mean what was there to look forward to in an event that would end in leakage of tear glands. Moreover, my only close girl-friends in the entire college would be absent. Their own farewell was falling on a different day since the college hall could accommodate only two batches of students. Poor me!
One day something happened that made women wanna drop their pants. Excited whispers were heard around all the corridors I passed by. It was like a virus that seemed to be spreading throughout the college. Was a superstar visiting our campus? I plugged on my earphones, least bothered by the gossip.
Needless to say, even Ayesha and Khushboo were affected by it. When I replied ‘I don't know’, they literally screamed.
“Are you kidding me, girl?! You should be the first to know.” Khushboo shook her head in dismay. She pressed my shoulders with her hand, forcing me to look into her twinkling eyes, “Our juniors are going to organise... a cue in the drumroll please— A couple dance!”
“Yes, yes, the kind where a man and woman dance to a waltz. It rarely happens in India but it's happening at our Uni. Do you know what that means, Nat? Do you effin know what that means?!” Ayesha asked excitedly, closing into my private bubble as well.
“What?”
“Rithik!” Both of them raised their voices in unison, making my illogical heart skip a beat.
They fangirled over how romantic the whole set-up would be. Khushboo became jealous because my (fake) boyfriend studied in the same college, while hers didn't. They told me it was the perfect chance to invite Rithik and confess my (fake again) feelings.
I crossed my arms, defensively. “No way in hell!”
“Why not? Khushboo asked, crestfallen. She cupped my cheeks, trying to appear calm. “Sweetie, I know you're bummed about not celebrating the farewell with us but it's fine. If you invite him, you'll have something to look forward to. As for us, we'll have our own farewell. We'll dress up and go to a faraway place. Let's go to Mahabaleshwar then. How does that sound?”
“Splendid! You better not fall back on your word, Boo. And Natasha, you better attend that bloody ball or prepare to say bye- bye to our trip.” Ayesha threatened me and I rolled my eyes.
The whole torturous lunch break went on and on with the girls trying to convince me while also making separate trip plans. My answer went from not attending the University farewell, to attending it, to thinking about inviting Rithik.
Which I wouldn't, of course.
Things were already messy between us as it is, I didn't want to contaminate it further.
The upcoming Friday, I visited Rithik's secret chamber, hoping he wouldn't pick up the subject of the farewell party. However, as I stepped in the room, he wore a sickening smile like he was upto something. I frowned.
.
“Don't put on all of your clothes. I got something for you.” He told me just as I was about to put on my leggings. Before I had the chance to ask, he dragged me by my wrist to the side that held a mirror. I narrowed my eyes at the reflection of him behind me. Instead, he lowered his lips to my ear, “Now stay still— I'm going to blindfold you.”
The last time he blindfolded me, it was entirely for my erotic experience and before that, he had surprised me with a garage room. I wondered what it would be this time? If he told me he had a secretive chamber beneath this floor, I'd faint.
“Just get it over with.” I finally replied, thinking about various ways he would surprise me with.
“That's not what I heard last time,” he commented with a knowing smirk but quickly dismissed as soon as I glared at him. He picked up his brown, long handkerchief from his closet before coming up behind me. “Just to be clear— This isn't an indication of a sexual act or a surprise orgy for that matter.”
“Sorry but you can't put ‘strip’, ‘sex’ and ‘orgy’ in the same sentence and class it off as platonic.”
A chuckle escaped him that sounded deeper behind my ears. His reflection in front of me seemed hideously excited like a kid who couldn't wait to show off his shitty drawings. It was all I saw, before I felt the fabric of the handkerchief, covering my eyes all the way to the back of my head. My vision turned black.
I kept guessing his surprise in my mind but a minute later, I realized I didn't have to. As I raised my hands and felt another fabric covering my upper body, I felt foolish for not guessing something so obvious. Not only a top but he made me wear something at the bottom, too. I closed my fists. He didn't have to do this.
“Asshat.”
“Thank me after you see it, babe.”
I thought he was done after making me wear my new clothes but no. Just as he finished putting clothes on me, I felt something being placed at the top of my head. For some reason, my skin tingled. I felt it when he dressed me up, I felt it when his hands adjusted to the strap of my skirt.
“Natasha, wow, you look—” He gasped somewhere from my left and the next moment, I felt his damp lips on my cheek. I didn't have time to be surprised as he led me by the hand. We walked a few steps until he stopped us. I could feel him getting giddy, in turn making me feel it, too. “Here, take a look at yourself.”
The material around my eyes loosened. When I opened my eyes to look at my reflection in the mirror, I blinked again.
The first thing that caught me was the material that covered my legs— a long skirt. It was white, adorned with darker shades of pink and purple flowers. My gaze lifted up to the maroon crop top, held by the straps around my arms. My hands then went to adjust the white floppy hat that accentuated the dress. I twisted around, admiring myself in the mirror when Rithik cleared his throat on purpose.
“Rithik, this is...” Wonderful, marvelous, touching? Honestly, I lost my adjectives. “Wow! Where did you get this?”
“From Shopper's stop. Went there a few days ago. I wasn't planning on buying but then I came across a mannequin who was wearing it and I couldn't look away. I wanted you to have it. That pretty sum of money I earned in the last bet came in handy, too. You look lovely.” His arms came around my waist while his head rested at the crook of my neck. He was looking at me through my reflection now, “I know this isn't your usual shorts, jeans or suits but thought you should try something different... You can return if you don't like it.”
“No, no, I love it. I'm just surprised. I didn't think long skirts would suit me, but they did. Guess I should buy them more often.”
“Glad.” His shoulders sagged after hearing my opinion. Guess my opinion really mattered, huh? He continued, whispering sweet compliments on my ear while still sticking onto me.
“Will you get off me now?”
“Never,” he mumbled, kissing my bare shoulder, almost making me shiver. Almost.
I tried to wriggle out of his grip but his arms were too strong. I grunted, giving up. This has become his sickness now. He would cuddle me whenever he got the chance. I despised it and told him to get off numerous times but he just wouldn't listen, this jerk.
Admit it, you don't despise as much as before.
Shut up!
“You didn't have to buy it for me, just because you got that pretty sum. I'm not your girlfriend and my birthday is still two months late. Gift it to one of your cousins.”
“Shut it, Nat.” His arms left me, leaving me both grateful and cold. He rubbed the back of his neck, his brows knitting. “I genuinely wanted to get you something so I did. Try to be a little grateful for once.”
I rolled my eyes. He had no right to act offensive when I never hinted to get something for me. “Fine, I'll take it.” I told him and his frown lessened. I excused myself to the toilet outside the garage. While I went, something about him buying a dress struck me. It took me back to the night in his parents' apartment.
If I share mutual love with someone, then I want to treat her right. Go to romantic dinners, shower her with gifts, jewelry...
I stopped dead on my tracks.
What if Rithik already fell... No, that couldn't be it. It was just clothes. Didn't have to dig as much meaning behind it.
Rithik was on the phone when I came back so I took my time admiring myself in front of the mirror. I liked the dress more and more. Somehow receiving something from a guy you fancied, made it extra precious. When he walked up to me after ending the call, I circled my hands behind his neck, stood on my tip- toes and kissed him effectively, showing how grateful I was. I smiled. “Thank you. If you don't mind, I'm going to keep wearing this today.”
His arms went behind my hips. “I don't mind, but I was rather hoping you wear it to Uni on Monday.”
“Fine, I'll wear it on Monday, now stop pouting.”
At that, his pout disappeared, replaced by a warm smile. Silence fell as we remained in close proximity, staring at each other. His mouth was closed but his dark brown eyes— they seemed almost torn, like they wanted to tell me so many things but couldn't. Somehow it clenched my heart.
Like I said, our arrangement was becoming a fucked up mess.
“I'm going,” I informed, diverting from his gaze when it became too intense. When he didn't think to mention anything, I took my bag and turned to my heels. He still didn't speak. Atleast not until I neared the exit.
“Invite me to your farewell.”
That chill you got when the first beat of the drum shuddered you from top to bottom— that was the effect of his words. I stopped right there and then. By the time I looked back, he already caught up to me, catching my palm in his. “Take me to your farewell as your plus one. If you haven't invited anyone else, that is.”
“I haven't.”
“Great!” he grinned.
“What's great? I haven't said yes.”
“But you will, eventually.” When I refused, he reasoned, saying how it would be once- in- a- lifetime opportunity. How I'd have someone to keep company with. His words were eerily similar to my girl friends. Funny how people were expecting me to be in something as meaningless as a dance. Even Abhishek encouraged me to attend it. Were farewell parties that important?
Getting tired of this endless charade of a good- for- nothing occasion, I sighed. “Fine, you can come though that doesn't make you my partner or whatever. You're free to choose anyone you like to dance to.”
He left my hand, exclaiming a quiet 'yes' under his breath but I heard it. Then remembering what I said, he replied, nonchalantly, “Psst, no issue. I'll simply choose you.”
“Sure, I'll also choose someone and that will be 'no one'.”
“I'll simply write 'no one' on my forehead.”
I pressed my lips inwardly. There was just no winning with this man. Sighing, I pushed the knob, opening the door and continued walking further away from him.
“Remember it, Patil,” his voice was distant and loud, “it's a date!”
“In your dreams, Arora!” I waved a dismissive hand at him, without looking back. I could still feel his smile burning at the back of my head until the sound of the door reached my ears.
On my way, I inadvertently found myself counting down the days until the party.
~
In the upcoming week, my bitches and I decided to do hardcore shopping for the saree. Their farewells were just a day after mine. While browsing through various dresses of different colors and fabrics, something else crossed my mind.
“Have you ever given a return gift before?” I made a dunce out of myself by asking.
Khushboo who was holding a black- copper saree, paused, rolling her eyes sideways as if straining her memory to remember. Then pursuing her lips, she replied, “Pretty sure I didn't have my wedding yet, so no.”
“Me neither,” Ayesha added before back to whatever they were concentrating earlier on.
Shit, that backfired! I approached them again. “So if your boyfriend or brother happens to give you something—” I indirectly addressed Khushboo's boyfriend and Ayesha's brother, “you wouldn't give them back?”
“Nope, we wouldn't,” they said something along those lines together, after which Ayesha added, “I mean wouldn't we normally gift them on their respective birthdays as well?”
“Why are you asking anyway?”
I had already prepared my answer. “I thought of giving my brother something in return for the dress he gifted me last week.”
“Oo~” The girls exclaimed, dragging the 'o'. Why did I have a stinking feeling that they didn't buy my lie? “Sure, buy it. There's nothing wrong with a return gift. Everybody loves gifts.”
“So it won't be weird then,” I mumbled, looking away when their suspicious gazes fell hard on me. I regret asking them now.
After I was done choosing my dress, I excused myself to the men's section, which was one floor below us. It only seemed fair. Rithik bought me a dress— a whole set at that. I didn't want to feel like I owed his money. With this, we would be even. I roamed through different sections of men's clothes, imagining him in some of them. It made me feel weird and giddy at the same time. It wasn't my first time shopping for a man. I bought ties and jackets for Abhishek before (nevermind the fact that he was there with me) and for my Momma's favourite boy.
So, when was the last time you bought something for a fuck buddy? Never.
Twenty minutes into the showroom and still no luck. For Rithik, I decided to opt for something out of his usual style, just like he did for me. I couldn't decide what the fuck I wanted to cloth him in. I couldn't believe Natasha Patil was having a difficult time shopping for a man. Yet another list of things that Rithik made me do.
Thankfully, I managed to pick out a few potentials after a while. I laid them on a rectangular table and picked a dark orange tee, holding them between my hands. I was absolutely sure he didn't have this color. A small smile built up my lips as I envisioned him wearing this. He would look like a man straight out of a beach.
“Are you done?” A boring voice came from behind, snapping me from my reverie.
“Are you?” I turned behind to face Khushboo and Ayesha, surprised that they found me.
“Can't you see?” Ayesha said, lifting up two shopping bags she held. “We even bought matching sandals and nail paints while you loitered here. What's taking you so long?”
I pointed towards the table where I kept my selections and told them to voice their opinion. In the midst of it, I caught Khushboo throwing a questionable glance at Ayesha to which she simply shrugged. Suspicious.
“So what's your verdict?”
“I like this one.” Ayesha said, picking a sleeveless, red jacket with an outline of black attached with a hoodie. Then she picked up the white poster top. “O, a matching top as well.”
“That's cute, but I'll go with this one. Even the matching top looks great.” Khushboo piped in, picking up a black, sleeveless jacket. It had a wolf and skull drawn in colors of silver and grey, bringing out a gothic look. The top I selected with this one was white that faded to light grey. “He would look totally hot in this one.”
“Smoldering hot,” I added, dreamily. It was after a full fledged second that my brain registered what my betraying mouth said.
“And that's how ladies and gentlemen, you catch a liar.” Ayesha said to no one in particular before giving Khushboo a high five. “Smooth one, Boo.”
“That's not— but I didn't— ugh, I give up.” I threw my hands in exasperation. “How did you know?”
“First—” Khushboo offered to explain, raising her fingers one by one, “I encountered your brother two times before and from what can I tell, he doesn't seem like the kind to buy you a napkin, let alone a dress. Second, I personally think these tops will be two sizes too big for him.” Was that why Khushboo and Ayesha were eyeing each other earlier?
“And thirdly,” Ayesha picked up where Khushboo left off. “Just before meeting you, we noticed you holding that orange top, smiling to yourself like a perfect maiden in love...”
“No, I wasn't!” I denied, feeling my traitorous cheeks heat.
“Yes, you were. Why else would you put so much effort into choosing someone else's outfit? I never remembered you being this passionate about my clothes. By the way, Rithik's got a good taste, too. You actually looked pretty in it.”
The orange shirt creased in my hands as I buried my face on it while they guffawed, “Can we just go over the counter and get this over with?”
After paying the hefty bill, we headed down the ground floor. After looking around a bit, we finally decided to eat Domino's pizza. Ayesha joked about something then, making us stop for a moment. My eyes flickered to the escalator as I tittered together with the girls. The mall was more crowded than before, since it was noon. People climbing up and down the escalators; children nagging their parents to buy their favourite toys; couples sticking disgustingly close to each other; and groups of friends going shopping, just like us. There was a flicker of movement that slowed down my heart beat. I stopped laughing. My eyes strained as I tried to follow that movement. It was like a game where we had to spot an odd 'C' amongst hundreds of 'O' s. My fingers tightened around the strap of my handbag as I searched for it, desperately hoping I wouldn't find that 'C'.
Right then, in a mall amongst many in a metropolitan city, I spotted it. Spotted a face emerge amongst the crowd. You could throw me in a goddamn stadium and I would still recognize the rat. That angular face, that oily stinky hair, those pointed pair of cold eyes and his smile— his sadistic smile that made my blood run cold.
He took a step and I froze from head to toe.
The floor that was steady a second ago, slanted slightly to the left. The sounds evaporated from my ears. Suddenly it was empty. The whole hall became empty, filled with nothing but heaviness, sucking the air from my lungs. My heartbeat that slowed down before, rose at an alarming rate. It slapped in my eardrums.
The dirtball took yet another step, then another, decreasing the distance between us. I took a step back, fear spreading through my nerves like poison. What if he spotted me? What if he talked? The more steps he took, the more dreadful I became. Maybe I should run. Maybe...
Natasha?
A small voice emerged through the darkness. It became louder and louder till I felt my shoulders being moved. A split second later, I noticed Ayesha shaking my shoulders.
“... Natasha!” Her voice ringed through, knocking me back to reality. I dragged my head to her and Khushboo, feeling a cold sweat drip past my forehead. Ayesha seemed puzzled while Khushboo looked strained. It was only then, I noticed the fingers of my other hand, digging through Khushboo's arm. I left her hand immediately, mumbling an apology. “What's wrong with you? You were acting just fine, a few seconds ago.”
“Natasha,” Khushboo called, touching my cheek. “Let's sit somewhere. You're look pale.”
Thinking that I was starving out of proportion, they decided to go to Dominos quickly with Khushboo pulling me along by my arm. I tried to concentrate at them. I really tried, but couldn't. Not when my gaze painfully followed that rat. To my absolute horror, his eyes swiveled around, as if trying to find something. My breathing slowed down. Please don't find me, please don't find me, please don't..
His small eyes found mine and my heartbeat dropped to the floor.
Every inch of my body was screaming to look away but I didn't. His eyes blinked in recognition. His lips parted as if to say something that pronounced like my name. I shook my head, but then told myself not to react in front of him. I failed as usual. And obviously, as usual, he noticed it. Noticed the distraught in my face. There was a glint in his eyes, telling me he was amused. That rascal was bloody amused! After all these years. However, that anger took a one eighty degree turn, once his lips stretched to a smile. I lost all bravado right there.
Something flashed before me then. A distant memory. An ugly flashback. That was it. I lost my shit. Before I could make sense of my senses, my legs reacted first as it started to move away from him.
And then, I was running away from him, running away from my friends who called after me. I mentioned that I'd be back after a while. I hoped they heard it. I continued to run absentmindedly until my eyes read the sign 'Ladies Washroom' and I stopped. I rushed inside, entered an empty toilet and shut the door behind me with a latch.
I could never be more grateful to a public washroom for existing.
I let my lungs inflate, letting out a loud gush of air in relief. I dropped the lid of the toilet seat and sat down on it as my legs went limp. I looked down at my palms that were still shaking. It was a sunny day and yet I was freezing breathlessly. I rubbed my palms over my bare arms and leaned against the adjacent wall. Why the fuck was he here? Didn't he mention something about moving away with his family? I was sure he moved away. My brain then answered by reminding me of his relatives. Yeah, those whores. Of course he would visit his relatives from time to time. Few more familiar faces came to mind as my mind reeled back to the encounter. There were two women and a child accompanying him. He wasn't alone.
My mind welcomed a series of flashbacks that were locked within the caresses of my mind, thus crippling me in fear. It was like a punch in the gut. Somehow I managed my shaking hands to zip open my handbag. My fingers dug, desperately searching for something— a cigarette, tablet, anything to keep myself sane. I didn't even waste a second in taking a long drag and puffing out smoke when I found a cigarette.
Still not enough.
I took my smartphone next, swiping madly through the contact list to call Abhishek. It ringed but he didn't pick it up. I called him again but no avail. He was probably attending classes. Marvellous.
I blinked several times, fighting back tears that threatened to fall. It's okay, Natasha. It's okay. It was all in the past anyway. Then why did it came back to fuck me up in the worst way? It sickened me how he still affected me to this date when it was something that happened a long time ago. Why, why, why? I bit my lip, hard. I clutched the sleeves of my top, crying silently.
Please come here, Abhi.
“Natasha?” A voice called from outside the toilet, snapping my eyes open. Unfortunately it wasn't Abhishek. Khushboo called me yet again. “Tell me it's you.”
Wiping my wet eyes with my arm, I sniffed. After taking a few deep breaths, I closed the running tap, “Yours one and truly bitch.”
“Thank Goodness! For a moment we thought you left us.” She sighed in relief. After a cautious pause, she added hesitantly. “Who was that man, Nat?”
I flinched. Guess it wasn't a surprise that she noticed. “I was just shocked, Boo. I mean what are the chances that you crossed paths with a tutor from school? Small world, huh?”
“Then why did you run?”
I already prepared a lie for that. “Actually, my stomach doesn't feel good. I think I might have loose motions. I wanna crash home.”
Khushboo eventually bought my lie. I exited the toilet (after making sure I didn't look like crap), and told I'd leave without them but she insisted. Deep down, I was grateful. I didn't fancy going home alone, despite being safe. Even more so, when I didn't wish to encounter his mug face again.
~
“No fucking way!”
“I'm sorry, Natasha.”
“But why?!” I expressed my displeasure after Rithik tried on the dark orange tee I purchased. Somehow he managed to wear it though it didn't help with how the muscles under his shirt were straining to tear the cloth apart.
In other words, it didn't fit.
“I don't understand. I checked your fucking size. Most of them were size L so I bought L. Gah, what a waste of time.”
“Come on, you're exaggerating. That gothic jacket definitely wasn't a waste of time. It was a winner. It fitted perfectly. Ugh, nof getting owt.” his voice came out muffled as he got stuck while getting the top off.
“That's what I'm saying,” I walked upto him raising my hands to the hem of his shirt that was stuck on his upper chest. With one strong push, we were able to pull the top off him. “That half jacket was of the same size yet that fitted and this one didn't.”
“Some cloth brands go by a different size scale. I'm sure the XL one would fit me just fine.”
“Just so you know, I'm not going to exchange your top. Either get your shit done by yourself or loose that unnecessary mass for a change,” I told him, squeezing a small part of his bare stomach within my fingers.
“This unnecessary mass that you can't get your hands off to.” He pulled me by my wrist. “Are you sure, babe?
In reality, he didn't need to. He could loose some pounds if he wanted but it wasn't gravely necessary. He wasn't fat. I simply wanted to distract him since going to that mall wasn't an option. In the end, Rithik agreed to go by himself, provided that I become his partner at the upcoming ball. I half-heartedly agreed, just to get him off the hook.
Was it weird that I was looking forward and not looking forward to the farewell at the same time?
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Vote and comment your thoughts. Next chapter is the farewell. Hopefully someone will look forward to it.