Yo guys PLZ don't kill me or anyone or anything because of my inexcusable lateness. Don't flip a tit I swear the next update will be within this week. Or u can do whatever u imagine would be appropriate punishment or somethin.
I'm sorry FOREAL for the wait. And especially sorry about this chapter.
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Soul let his arm fall limp on the side of the bed. He had just been half dragged/half carried onto the cot. The cot that used to belong to Maka. Now she lay there lifeless in the cot next to him. He didn't look over at her.
Soul didn't feel anything. He didn't know what to feel. He didn't know how to feel. He was in shock. All he did was stare at the ceiling with a mind, body, and soul empty of emotion. His fingers were trembling as he took her pulse, and his whole body had been shaking with emotion. But afterwards, after he couldn't feel anything, his hand fell to his lap. And he wasn't shaking anymore. He didn't feel. His mind was empty. His soul was empty.
A sound soul rests within a sound mind and sound body.
How could his soul be sound? Soul had killed his Meister. It struck him in his mind abruptly. By not getting the cure fast enough, Maka had died. Actually, scratch that. If Soul had payed attention to Maka and realized his feelings for her, she would still be alive and this whole thing wouldn't have happened.
No. His soul was far from sound. He was missing half. It had died with Maka. But in the back of his mind, there was still a little voice saying, "Save Maka! Save your meister!" Like it still had hope that she was alive.
Soul didn't want to accept it. He still wasn't even accepting it. He couldn't process it or realize it. He just wanted to lay here and die. His soul could not be sound as long as Maka wasn't with him. His mind was empty. His brain dead. And his body was losing its functions by the minute. He kept coughing now. Some of what he hacked up was blood. But his tongue was dry. His head pounded with rushing blood, but it was almost the only thing he could hear.
I don't deserve to be alive when I let Maka down. When I ignored her. Betrayed her. Killed her. I don't deserve the cure. I don't need it.
I don't even want it.
Soul decided his final thought would be suicide. He didn't want the cure. He could stay here and die in the bed. He would slip into a coma soon enough. He just wanted to die before someone could try to give him the cure. With blurry, fading-at-the-edges vision, Soul gazed sadly at Maka. She looked calm and peaceful, even though she was pale and not in the best condition. She has always looked beautiful, in Souls opinion. Another thing he had never told her. He closed his eyes.
Footsteps grew louder as someone walked towards Soul.
"Here's your dose of the anti venom." Said Stein. Soul popped an eye open. There he stood over him with a syringe in hand.
"I don't need it." Soul said.
"Oh yes you do. You made this cure possible. Take it." Stein insisted.
Soul shook his head. He kept shaking it. He was just acting on autopilot now. His mind was blank except for one thought; you deserve to die.
Stein thought otherwise, as he stared Soul down, deep in thought. Then after a few moments, he grabbed the nearest rolling chair and sat on it. He pulled out a cigarette from the pack in his coat pocket and lit it. Soul watched as he took a drag and blew the smoke out. Then Stein focused his gaze on Soul.
"Can you still move your arms?" he asked. Soul could barely hear it, he croaked out for Stein to repeat that. When he heard, he was surprised by the question and looked at his arm. He flexed, and it moved. He let out a nervous little breath. Then he realized he couldn't feel his fingers. He couldn't feel past his elbow on his left arm. But his right was still okay.
"The poison is acting peculiarly with you. It should be going much faster, considering you were struck by the worm several times," Said Stein. Soul watched his lips move while his ears rang. Then he shrugged and blew out more smoke. He gazed through the glass of the syringe filled with the purple cure as he held it up to his eyes. "You can wait as long as you want, this stuff works almost immediately."
Then after a moment he put it down on the small table next to Soul's bed.
"For when you need it," Said Stein. Then he got up and walked away.
Soul waited until he thought Stein was gone, and then with some difficulty, pushed himself into a sitting position. He looked over at Maka. Oh lorsh, his heart was wrenched just looking at her. All his fault. Everything was his fault.
He picked up the syringe of anti-venom. He should throw this away. He didn't need it, did he? He pulled his arm back as if to throw it, but then he stopped.
Maka wouldn't want me to die, Soul thought. So he put down the syringe.
But he was going to anyways. He wouldn't throw the cure away, it could be used for someone else. If anything, Maka would want him to save at least one life.
Soul got out of bed and stood up. The blurry world swayed a bit and it was hard to breathe. But he wanted to spend his last moments with Maka. He figured he needed to apologize. With lead feet, Soul slowly tromped over to Makas bed and knelt at her bedside. He reached out his hand and grabbed hers. He couldn't feel it. He couldn't feel his left. He let her hand go.
"Maka. I'm really sorry that I couldn't save you. A weapon is supposed to protect his meister at all costs! I was prepared to give up my life for you, but I failed. But now that I'm dying I guess it doesn't matter. I'm giving up my life anyways. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"
He finally wept.