First of all, trigger warning. There is self-harm in this chapter.
The water burned the cuts and bruises that littered my body, making me tense as Prince Cassius slid his hands down my arms. I sat between his legs, my back against his chest, staring into the clear water.
"I'm sorry about your back," I whispered apologetically and laid my head on his shoulder. He took the bubble covered loofah and trailed it down my chest.
"I'm sorry I was so rough." He replied and kissed my ear I melted into his touch involuntarily. I hated it, hated that he could do this. It's what I was trying to avoid, but his voice, his touch. It was all so mesmerizing. I let out a sound of annoyance and curled my knees to my chest, burying my face in his neck.
"I want to get out, the water is getting cold," I whined, the prince gladly obliged and pulled the drain. My body shivered once the water was gone, now I was twice as cold. The prince stood up and set me on the fuzzy carpet, I coiled my arms around my body as he retrieved a towel and began to pat me down with it. When finished, Prince Cassius took the liberty of dressing me in a pair of his boxers and a short-sleeved shirt. This seemed to be my new go-to for bedclothes, but I'll admit that I liked it.
"Will you take me home tomorrow?" I breathed softly as he got dressed, hopping onto the marble counter of the sink.
"Yes," he sighed, "I will, for you."
For me.
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We were under the covers, Prince Cassius' arm tossed over my waist, my back to his chest. I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck and the warmth of his body against mine. Being around him was soothing, and wonderful. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and snuggle my face into his chest, letting the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.
But I couldn't, it made me feel awful letting him touch me like that when he had someone else. My eyes wouldn't shut, I couldn't fall asleep, not when I felt like this. I gently removed the princes' arm from my waist and sat up, letting the covers fall off my body.
I needed some fucking coffee.
Or chocolate or something to fucking binge my feelings away.
Netflix maybe.
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No one was around, or even awake to be honest. Sometimes I doubted anyone lived here but the princes. It took me a few tries to find the kitchen, I assumed he had one, who doesn't? Anyways, it was very industrialized, rows of ovens, spices, vegetables, it was decked out, I wondered if I'd even be able to find the coffee.
It was in one of the pantries.
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Once I had a cup prepared I sank to the floor and sipped the bitter drink, I could feel it start to work as my senses came to life. The room didn't seem so dark anymore either.
"Sometimes he even takes two at a time. Behind the others back. Very naughty indeed."
I choked on my coffee at the sudden memory of what Prince Zisael had said to me. How long until he grew bored of me? My eyes watered, I didn't want him to toss me aside like trash, but it's not like we could keep this up forever.
"I want to have my turn sometime soon."
My insides churned with disgust, I wasn't just going to hop into his bed when I'd been with Prince Cassius this whole time. It would be like betrayal, but what was there to betray, we weren't anything, there was nothing between us. So what was stopping me from letting Prince Zisael fuck me?
He only wants you for your body.
So does Prince Cassius, he has a fucking mate!
Something inside me didn't really believe that was true, but it had to be. I'm a dollar whore, what would a prince want with me? I'm dirty and used. It won't be surprising if even my mate rejects me. The thoughts burned my eyes.
If I even had a mate.
A surprised yelp shocked me out of my thoughts. I jerked my head up to see him looking down at me.
"Oh, hi," I said awkwardly with a shy wave, "I just came for some coffee."
"Uh, that's fine, I just didn't think anyone was awake," Ekko whispered softly, and twisted a good band around his ring finger.
"What's that?" I asked and motioned to it, he looked confused for a moment, before looking at his hand. His mouth formed in the shape of an 'O'.
"This was a present, from the prince." He spoke with adoration and gazed at the ring with great affection. My heart plummeted into my stomach as I processed his words.
From the prince.
Prince Cassius. This was him. This was his mate. I fucking knew it. I could feel tears welling up, but I forced them down. I wanted to hate this boy. To hate him with all my heart. And I did. The spite rose in my throat. He was just so oblivious, it made me want to scream.
You stole him from me!
I'd tried so hard to convince myself that he had a mate, but in the end, I couldn't bring myself to believe it.
"Oh, he must love you a lot." I forced the words out through clenched teeth, the boy smiled.
"Yes, I think so." He said lovingly, it made me loathe him so much more because I wanted Prince Cassius so bad. I wanted him to want me, but now, that was never going to happen. Tears gushed from my eyes as he left me alone in the darkness. Again
I was drowning in misery. Why else would Prince Cassius let me go home? He said I could go talk to Jamie. He must have been using as a way to get rid of me. I bit my lip as tears began to roll down my face in a fresh wave of pain.
How could he do this to me? Lead me on like this? I thought princes were supposed to be noble, chivalrous,
Life isn't a fairy tale, Alabaster.
Prince Cassius could never love me, I was just an easy fuck. But isn't that just what a slut is?
I let out a laugh, cold and sharp. He told me I wasn't a whore, but he was a fucking liar.
A disgusting, repulsive, liar.
I threw down the ceramic cup in the sink in rage. Watching as it shattered before me. The shards were pointy, glistening in the darkness. They could cut so easily.
I kicked the cupboard as hard as I could and spun around, digging my fingers in my hair. My breathing was heavy as I tugged at the black strands of hair. It hurt. And the pain helped me stay calm. It helped me think.
Helped me think...
I turned to the sink again, staring at it with wide eyes. My hand found a large shard, long and sharp, and enclosed around it. The edges dug into my skin. I brought it to the soft flesh of my wrist.
Helped me stay calm...
I could feel the blood pumping beneath the skin as the point tugged at my skin. My heart roared in my ears.
The shard ripped through my skin. Blood trickled from the self-inflicted wound. It burned, but I liked it. I liked the pain, watching it streamed into the sink, coating everything in red. I just regret that it couldn't kill me, I wasn't a weak human.
It hurt more than it bled but it woke me up. I could focus now.
The slow stream began to slow as my body fought to close the wound. I frowned and rinsed the blood off my hand and the sink. The water stung, but I couldn't bring myself to feel it. The knob squeaked when I twisted it off, it was loud in the quiet room.
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My hand rested on the cold doorknob to the prince's room, my heart was pounding. If he wanted me gone, I should leave. I bit my lip, one last time. I just wanted to see him one last time. The door slid open as I shuffled inside, the room was dark. It made me smile, Prince Cassius had told me that he hated sleeping with any sort of brightness. He always despised night lights as a kid.
I crept towards the bed, he was sound asleep on his side, facing away from me. The prince looked so peaceful and relaxed, I realized how tired he must be. Tears were rolling down my face again. I leaned towards him, my lips brushing against his ear. My hand found the edge of the bed as I pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. And I found myself wanting to say it. Wanting him.
I love you.
And then I left.