Nanami was deeply saddened by your words, but she didn't argue with you. She could see the resolve in your eyes, and she knew she couldn't dissuade you. After a few minutes of silence, you glanced over at Nanami. "You like him, don't you." You smiled at the girl.
A blush spread across her face. "W-what would give you t-that idea?" She stuttered.
"Call it, female intuition." You chuckled.
She turned as red as a tomato. "Is it that obvious." She mumbled.
"To me? Yes, but I'll let you in on a little secret." You smiled at her.
"What?"
"Tomoe is about as oblivious to love as a blind man is to the color red."
She burst out laughing. "But he acts so flirtatious around other girls."
"That's fake affection. It's kind of like an actor in a play. When it comes to real love, he's a little hard headed." You snickered. "Which means, you'll have to be a little assertive if you want him to notice." You hinted at her.
"Would you be mad at me if I did that?" She mumbled nervously.
"What would make you think that?" You shook your head. "I've watched Tomoe grow up, just like I have with every other creature. I've seen every hardship he's had to endure, and I want nothing more than for him to find happiness." You stated truthfully.
"Alright." Nanami smiled happily at you.
"I do have to warn you though. Tomoe's heart is locked away in a steel cage. It won't be easy to get him to open up his heart."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is, he's a little rough around the edges. He is very indelicate when it comes to his feelings, so move carefully."
"Any other advice... when it comes to... boys?" She asked hesitantly.
You sighed, trying to think. "Well, first, don't take rejection too hard. They have every right to turn you down as you do them. It is simply matters of the heart, and you shouldn't let it get in the way of friendships or duties." She nodded in understanding, her eyes wide with curiosity. "Second, your heart is never wrong, but there may be some situations when you have to choose between love and safety. Just as the last woman who loved Tomoe had to. Whatever your decision, you can't waver. If you waver even slightly, you could end up losing both." You explained, doing your best to choose your words carefully. "Other than that, I'm not sure what to tell you. It's always a gamble putting your heart on your sleeve, so you have to play each situation by ear, and improvise as you go."
Nanami smiled brightly at you. "Thanks a lot, (Y/N)."
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The next day, you saw Tomoe and Nanami off to school, before wasting the day with menial chores. It wasn't until you saw how low the sun had gotten, that you noticed Tomoe and Nanami were late. You reentered the shrine, to find the two shrine spirits. "Hey, Onikiri, Kotetsu." You called for the will-o-wisp.
They popped into existence in front of you. "Yes, Lady (Y/N)?"
"Where are Tomoe and Nanami? They should have been back hours ago." You inquired.
"It seems that Lady Nanami wanted to spend the day outside the shrine." Onikiri explained.
"That seems sudden." You frowned.
"It would appear that they are on a date." Ryuu appeared behind you.
"A date?" You looked at Ryuu with confusion.
"Indeed. The network of creatures informed me that they have been in the aquarium for quite some time now." Ryuu added, watching you with a mixture of curiosity and worry.
Your smile faltered, but you managed to barely keep it on your face. "I see." You looked at Ryuu, doing your best to suppress the tears from welling in your eyes. "I suppose we have overstayed our welcome."
"What do you mean, Lady (Y/N)?!" Kotetsu squeaked.
"I mean, I am taking my leave." You stated rather bluntly.
"You can't leave!" Onikiri yelped.
"Yes, Lady Nanami and Master Tomoe would be most displeased." Kotetsu insisted.
You looked at the two shrine spirits, and laced your words with your godly power. "That's why you won't interrupt their... fun." You turned, and walked out the side door of the shrine.
"Are you sure about this?" Ryuu asked, not stepping from the shrine.
"I have made up my mind. If you want to stay, you can. " You glanced back at your familiar, and smiled. "I've forced you to stay where I wanted for far to long. You can go wherever you want, but I forbid you from telling them where I am." With that you walked into the forest, found the gateway of the portal of power, and entered the other dimension.
You walked for a good while, before you once again found the hidden portal. You poured your energy into the ground, and were swallowed by the light once again. You followed the same path up the mountain, until the diamond tombstone came into view.
You sat down on the ground, and propped your back against the cold stone. You pulled the sword out from under your kimono, and placed it across your lap. It was only then that you let the tears fall. "I messed up, mom." You sniffled. "I thought I could watch him move on with his life, without it getting to me, but I couldn't." You closed your eyes, and let out a sad chuckle. "I should have just stayed in the shadows. I don't belong in a world as bright as his."
"Why not?" Came a reply you weren't expecting.
You opened your eyes, and chuckled. "You know the answer to that, Ryuu."
"I know what you think the answer is, but I still don't see it. What I do see, is someone deserving of all the happiness in the world. I see a girl who has every right to be in that world, yet still feels she should stay in the darkness." Ryuu replied sadly.
"I want them to be happy, and that happiness doesn't include me."
"What makes you say that? Those people you think you shouldn't be around are worried sick about you."
"So what? Should I erase their memories too? Make them forget ever knowing me? You know, I'd do it if I wasn't so scared of that pain again." You scoffed, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes.
"Is that why you came here to hide?"
"It's the perfect place. Only those who accompany you or I can enter this place. Not even Tomoe's foxfire can breach the barrier." You looked up at the glass like barrier that encircled the mountain.
"How long will you stay here?"
"Until I am once again forgotten, I suppose."
"Is that really how you want to live?" Ryuu shouted. "Forgotten by those you love, but remembered by those who would do you harm?"
"It's better than bringing harm to those I love. I should have died all those years ago. None of this would be happening if I hadn't been saved by that fluke." You whispered under your breath. "Please, just leave me alone for a few days." You instructed.
Ryuu shook his head, before transforming into a dragon, and launching into the air.
------------------------
Tomoe was distraught. He wasn't sure what was going on. He'd had a terrible day with Nanami, and rejected her affection. When he came back to the shrine, things just got worse. (Y/N) was gone! He'd demanded answers from the shrine spirits, but they weren't sure what had happened. Tomoe had immediately sent his foxfire to search for her and that dragon, but they found nothing. He was beside himself with worry, and he couldn't understand why. (Y/N) wasn't his mistress, nor should he have any obligation to the goddess. But, for some reason, he felt a need to protect her that ran deep into his very soul.
It had been three days since she'd vanished, and he was beyond stressed about her. He was currently tying to drown his worry by drinking sake on the roof. He had so much to drink that it took him a minute to notice the figure that stood behind him. "Where have you been?" He grumbled at the dragon boy.
"I had to clear my head." Ryuu replied.
"Where is (Y/N)?" Tomoe looked back at Ryuu.
"I can't tell you that." Came the simple reply.
Tomoe snapped. He jumped to his feet, and grabbed the other familiar by the collar of his shirt. "I am in no mood for games. Where is she?" He growled.
Ryuu held up his hands in surrender, and did nothing to escape Tomoe's grasp. "I was ordered to not tell you where she went." Ryuu clarified.
Tomoe let go of Ryuu's collar, and turned back to his bottle of sake. "Then why'd you come back?" He spat.
"Because, I can't sit back and watch this anymore."
"Watch what?" Tomoe glanced over his shoulder.
The familiar hesitated, but decided to speak. "She's self destructing." A look of deep sadness consumed his face, as the words left his mouth.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, if she continues on this path, she's going to get killed." Ryuu stated. Tomoe just looked at him with confusion in his eyes. Ryuu sighed. "She feels that she is only a problem for all those around her. She's got it in her head that she deserves to suffer, alone, and in the darkness. She even believes that everyone's lives would be better had she not survived the torture from those fallen gods." Ryuu scoffed.
"What made you decide to come to me?" Tomoe muttered. "You aren't exactly my biggest fan."
"That's true. I hate you more than you could ever know." Ryuu nodded.
"I'm still not sure why." Tomoe mumbled.
"But," Ryuu interrupted. "you are the only person that can get through to her. She doesn't have many people she cares for, but out of all of them she respects you the most. She won't listen to me, so I need you to talk to her." Ryuu admitted.
"That'll be a little hard if you can't tell me where she is." Tomoe sighed.
"I may not be able to tell you, but she never said anything about taking you there." Ryuu smirked.
Tomoe scrambled to his feet. "You can take me there?!"
"On one condition. You can't tell anyone about the place we are going to. It's hidden, even from the other gods."
"Fine, just take me to her!" Tomoe barked.
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You were resting your eyes, when you felt his presence. You jumped to your feet, and tucked your sword back under your kimono. It took a few seconds between the two familiars came into view over the crest of the mountain. You glowered at Ryuu. "Why did you bring him here?" You hissed.
Ryuu ignored your harsh glare, and shrugged. "Call this an intervention." He smirked.
Tomoe walked closer to you. "(Y/N)..." He whispered, his eyes full of joy and sadness.
He stretched out a hand to you, but you jerked away. "Stay back." You whispered, doing everything in your power to keep your emotions from showing on your face.
Tomoe looked taken aback, but he didn't move away from you. "Why won't you talk to me, (Y/N)?" He asked, taking another step forward.
"I don't want to." You stated like a child.
"That isn't a real answer." Tomoe objected, taking another step forward.
"Just stay away from me!" Your barked.
"Not until you tell me why!" Tomoe shouted in response.
You clenched your fists, doing your best to keep your hands from shaking. "Because being near you is torture!" You howled, your voice cracking.
Tomoe staggered two steps back, he looked devastated by your words. You knew those venomous words would hurt him, but that pain was nothing compared to the pain he'd once experienced because of you, and you couldn't let him get hurt that way again. Tomoe did nothing to stop you, as you shoved past him, and walked down the mountain towards the forest. "Are you happy now?" You growled as you passed Ryuu. The familiar didn't respond, but you could have sworn you saw a tear in the corner of his eye. You walked several feet into the forest, before you transformed into a mouse, and scurried into a hole at the base of one of the numerous trees.
After over an hour of hiding in the tree, someone came and sat beside the hole, Tomoe. You were surprised that he hadn't left already. Without checking to see if you were listening or not, he began to talk. It wasn't even anything important. He talked about silly things that Nanami had done, his admiration for Mikage, his enjoyment of being at the shrine. He talked for hours, never once looking down at the hole in the tree. He talked, and talked. His voice made you feel so comfortable, that you slowly felt your tension fade away. Finally, he moved away from the trunk of the tree, and instead sat facing the hole. "It isn't a stretch to assume we knew each other before." He started, keeping his voice calm and level. "I'm not sure why I can't remember you, but it seems something happened between us that caused you a lot of pain." His voice dropped a little, the sadness in his tone evident. "The last thing I want is for you to suffer, so if being away from me makes you happy, I'll accept that. I just want you to know, that you mean more to me than I even understand. I can't understand why I feel so worried about you. No, worried isn't the correct word... When something happens to you, I feel terrified. It's not a feeling I am very familiar with, but the thought of losing you brings it out of me." Tomoe sighed, and rubbed his face. "I guess what I am trying to say is that my world is a little brighter with you around. Even if I never know about our past, I'm grateful I was given the chance to know you." Slowly, he got to his feet, and headed back up the mountain. "You will always have a home in Mikage shrine... if you ever decide to come back."
He continued up the mountain, and was almost to the top when you crawled out of the tree. Am I allowed to be happy? The thought ran through your head over and over. You moved hesitantly at first, but the farther away he got, the faster you moved, until you were basically sprinting up the mountain. Something about seeing him leaving you behind, terrified you. When you were a foot away from him, you transformed back into your human form. You slammed into his back, and clutched his kimono. You couldn't help the tears that ran down your face. "Would you still feel that way if my presence only caused you pain." You whimpered softly.
Tomoe didn't move. He simply replied with ten words that you would never forget. "No amount of pain could make me change my decision." You could feel the hum of his voice in his back. The second you heard those words, relief washed over you. You let go of his kimono, and crumpled to your knees. You wept into your hands, crying all the unshed tears you'd bottled up for so long. You felt Tomoe's arms wrap around you, and you sagged against his chest. His rhythmic heartbeat and breath slowly helped calm you down, until you were just curled in his chest. It was only then that he spoke. He wiped the tears from your face, and pushed your hair out of your eyes. "Now then, why don't we go home?" He smiled at you with that honey sweet smile.
You chuckled a little. "Yeah." You returned his smile. For the first time in your life, you had a place to call home.