I shrug but I know I can feel it deep in my chest
Just the thought of your face and gentle voice fills me with an insatiable hunger that aches deep within me.
I know this longing won't be solved with a quick snack or reading a long book.
This feeling won't go away because I haven't seen you in two weeks.
I haven't seen you since you spat words toward me I never imagined you would.
"Hey Kat." A voice interrupted me from my thoughts. I looked up at his tall, lithe frame and dark curls.
"Hey Finn." I sadly greeted. There was an actual grin on my face, one I couldn't rid of. The bitter taste he left behind erupted under the roof of my mouth, cascading down into the rest of me.
"Oh no! Why's kitty Kat sad?" He asked, immediately sitting across from me. I looked at him, prying eyes full of worry. He looked at me, silently imploring me to answer him.
"Wyatt-um-he-kind of..." I sighed, not wanting to face the harsh reality of what had happened. "He broke up with me." I finished, silent pained tears making their way down my tawny face.
He pulled me into a hug, cooing "it'll all be okay..." over and over.
-
It's been three weeks since Wyatt dumped me. I honestly just feel empty. I want him back, and every time I see him i'm reminded that we're not together anymore and he doesn't love me.
I try so hard not to look at him, but sometimes he just catches my eyes. I used to spend all class period staring at him because I thought he was the most attractive person I had ever met. Why couldn't he have at least kept me around just for ego? I would be fine with it, if it meant I could have one more day with him. All I want is one more perfect day.
"Kat..." I heard someone whisper my name. My head shot up from my English work. My eyes were immediately met by Wyatt's. God, it still hurts to even say his name.
He looked away as soon as I caught him. I then quickly looked around to see Millie scowling at me.
I furrowed my brows and tilted my head and gave her a confused look. The bell rang, sending everyone into a frenzy. I stacked my things, then waited back for Mills.
"What the hell was that?" She asked in her posh British accent. I shrugged. "I don't know, but if he knows what's good for him, he better leave her alone." Fin interrupted, throwing his arm around the foreign exchange student.
"What happened with you two? Didn't you used to be buddy-buddy?" I asked, walking down the hall with the two.
"Mhm. Then he got mad at me because he thought I had a crush on you. In reality, I think he's mad that we're still friends because he wants you-" Millie elbowed him in the ribs, shuting him up.
"Mills!" I groaned, clutching his ribs. "Oops." She shrugged. "Anyway," He wheezed shortly,"I told him that we're just friends and he said I was a rat. He said what I was doing was 'going behind his back' and that it was 'shady'." He rolled his eyes when he finished.
"Look, guys," I turned to them as we reached my classroom,"I love you, but you gotta let this go. What he did was shitty, but he's still your friend. Don't let me ruin that for you."
The minute bell rang, forcing Finn to pull Millie down the hall to their Algebra class. I was in study hall. Third period. With...you guessed it! Wyatt
"I hate him..." I mumbled under my breath as I saw him walk in. "I do too honey..." Sophia rubbed my back. I sighed, shrugging her off. She looked at me, concerned.
I shook my head,"Sorry. He just-he used to do that..." Soph nodded, looking back down at her history book quickly.
"'Cause you brought out the best of me-
A part of me I'd never seen.
You took my soul and wiped it clean.
Our love was made for movie screens...
But if you loved me-
Why'd you leave me?"
Kodaline played through the headphones that were connected to the Mac book in front of me.
I just keep thinking of when we first met. I wish I could go back to that time and start over. Have more time with him. I want more time. I need more time...
You see, I got here about seven months ago. From the moment I laid eyes on Wy, I knew it was meant to be. He even said it himself. Well, said it to Sadie.
He told her from the moment he saw me he knew 'I was the one'. He got my Instagram by my second day at Derry Jr./Sr. high school.
After that, we talked. We talked for month. He strung me out for three months, telling me he loved me one day, then saying we were moving too fast the next. Then we talked for three more months...then he dumped me.
He made me so fucking effortlessly happy. He was the reason I got out of bed in the morning. The reason I drank the right amount of water (dehydration issues. It's a whole thing). He was the reason I was smiling when there wasn't a damn thing to smile about.
I had these intense, burning feelings for him...and now what am I supposed to do with them? I've cried, I've binged on ice cream, I've watched Sex And The City, I've written a million poems. But I still want him. I still want him to run back to me and tell me he loves me.
I want it so fucking bad. I would do anything. Anything.