Kabanata 7
Burning Flowers
I don't know where I started to believe in fairytales, or when I started to see stars in the middle afternoon... they are so beautiful and fascinating, mostly if it's true. It was impossible but to feel it, is really something new and beyond possible to think.
Nanatili akong tahimik habang pinapakalma ang sariling pagkahingal at pusong naghuhurumentado.
A fairytale should have two characters, a princess and a prince. That's how I see it in television, I'm not a princess and he's not a prince, definitely not my prince but I felt like dreaming of us to those characters after he kissed me.
At least I felt how it feels like to be in a fairytale, huh? Kissed by the man I treated a prince!
I bit my lower lip when my breathing became calm, medyo. Huminga ako ng malalim at bahagyang inangat na ang aking mukha. My face is still on his broad shoulder, my lower part face was covered by it.
Mula sa windshield ay nakikita ko ang matinding liwanag ng araw sa labas. Some rays touches my forehead and his back, natatabunan ng kapunuan ang kagubatan kaya marahan lamang ang araw na tunatama rito. Birds were flying from tree to tree, they looked so cute.
Ngumuso ako at bahagyang nalapat iyon sa kanyang t-shirt.
Muli akong huminga ng malalim, his scent filled my nose very well that I just want to sniff him over and over again until I get enough. His other hand reached my curves, ang isa naman ay nasa aking likuran parin at marahang humahaplos na parang pinatutulog ako.
Halos kabahan ako nang marahan niya akong hilahin para ilayo, agad akong nagtago muli sa kanyang balikat. My hands on his chest were crumpling his shirt, pulling him.
He chuckled lowly.
"What?"
"I don't wanna see your face..." I pouted like a super duck.
He laughed lowly. Uminit ang pisngi ko, halos lamukusin na ang kanyang t-shirt.
"How can I do that?"
"You alien, you took my first kiss!" I hissed with a fake anger.
Hindi naman ako nagsisisi pero nagsisisi ako na mali pa ang oras na kinuha niya ang first kiss ko, I told myself I won't lose my first until I turned eighteen and legal! I'm just sixteen and will be seventeen next six days! Isang taon pa!
And this alien took it while I was so annoyed! Hindi man lang magical! Sa gubat pa talaga at sa sasakyan! My goodness, I just lost it without justice of first sweetest kiss! He should be thankful for his soft lips that felt like heaven.
Humalakhak siya, I felt his soft lips on my ear. I shivered so bad, gustuhin ko man lumayo ay nanatili akong tago ang mukha sa kanyang balikat. Ayaw kong mapahiya dahil sa sobrang pula ng mukha!
"Can't help it, you're throwing too much." he said softly.
I pinched his chest, he growled like hurt fakely.
"But you're not my boyfriend!" I spat. "Your girl is Minerva and your crush is Amrose! You should've kissed them, not me!"
Ugh! I'm so pissed everytime it comes to my mind! Para akong dinudurog ng sariling inhibisyon na hindi talaga ako gusto nito kahit halikan ng ilang beses.
Humalakhak siyang muli, hindi ko napigilan ang ngiting lumabas kaya mabilis akong bumusangot ng peke.
"The fuck, boyfriend! You're not allowed to have one!" he said.
My heart clenched.
"You already kissed me! Ano pang hindi pwedeng magboyfriend? At 'tsaka hindi ko naman sinabing ikaw ang nonobyohin ko!" inis kong sambit.
Wala naman talaga akong balak! Kung hindi ako magugustuhan ni Elexius, maghihintay ako sa taong para sa akin talaga hanggang sa dumating. Masyado pa akong bata para magnobyo, time will come I'll have it, I'll have everything...
He cursed. "Sino pala? Iyong nagbigay ng kakornihan? O si Jazzer?"
"Hindi corny si Dustin! I love flowers and chocolates! And don't brag Jazzer here! Nananahimik!" I said in irritation. "And lastly, wala ka na dapat pake-"
Suminghap ako, he pulled me away that I gasped even more in surprise. Agad akong pumikit at nagpumilit muling magtago sa kanya ngunit mariin niya akong pinirmis. His both hands gripped on my curves sternly.
"Kasi!" sigaw ko sabay takip ng aking mukha gamit ang dalawang palad.
"Pabebe..." he mocked.
Agad uminit ang pisngi ko sa inis, dinungaw ko siya ng matalim na tingin. He was watching me closely with I couldn't read eyes, parang kalangitang madilim na hindi mo alam kung magbabagsak ba ng mabigat na ulan o hindi.
"Pabebe!" I scoffed angrily. "Anong pabebe roon? Mas pabebe nga si Minerva pero hindi mo sinabihan ng ganyan! May favoritism ka pala-"
"Pabebe ko..." halakhak niya habang nakatingin sa akin.
Halos matunaw ako dahil doon, I pouted my lips even more that I don't know where it reach. I remained glaring at him. He lifted his hand to reach my wrist and slowly pulled it down, I just frowned and looked away.
"Sino ba ang gusto mong maging first kiss?" mahina at mariin niyang tanong.
"Wala!" giit ko.
"Jazzer?"
Umiling lamang ako habang iwas ang tingin sa kanya.
"You look so fond of him, so maybe he is, hmmm?"
Nilingon ko na siya dahil sa pagkabigla, me? Fond of Jazzer? I'm not! Paano iyon mangyayari kung buong pagkabata ko hanggang ngayon ay siya lamang ang kinasanayang gustuhin ng paningin ko?
Alien!
He looked at me darkly like he's pissed of something.
"Hindi nga siya! Wala nga!" ikaw lang...
I rolled my eyes and pouted. He creased his forehead and sighed, marahan niya akong binitiwan at umalis na sa aking harapan. He took his phone on the dashboard and opened the door, sa backseat ay kinuha niya rin ang kanyang duffel bag.
My heart clenched bitterly. Huminga ako ng malalim at bagsak ang balikat na binuksan na rin ang aking pinto para makababa. I just followed him as he walked.
Did I offend him? Kasi naman, Fab, hindi mo talaga mapigilan ang bibig mo sa mga ganyang bagay.
Huminga ako ng malalim at marahang sinipa-sipa ang nakita kong bungang kulay pink na nadaanan lamang, inangatan ko ng tingin ang kanyang likuran. He was just walking casually, I sighed heavily and smiled sadly.
I didn't mean to offend him! Pero may pride parin ako at hindi ko aaminin na siya ang gusto ko talagang makakuha noon. All my life, he was the first Villareal I had my eyes on faithfully.
Villareal has a very beautiful genes with a lot of handsome and beautiful version of faces, aside from that they are too good in their own ways and fields. I've only got mesmerized by Elexius Villareal, see how special he is to got me very attracted to him?
He turned to me, nagulat pa ako dahil bahagya siyang huminto para hintayin ako sa paglalakad. Huminga ako ng malalim at sinipa na sa tabi ang kulay pink na bunga, kunot noo niyang sinundan ng tingin iyon.
Nang nakalapit ako sa kanyang tabi ay bumuntong hininga siya at kinuha ang aking kamay. My heart raced, sumilay ang ngiti sa aking labi habang tinitingnan ang aming mga kamay.
It feels surreal. Wala lang, it feels weird to hold him like this. Hindi ko kasi naisip na mangyayari ito kailanman, pakiramdam ko ay hanggang hangin na panaginip lamang.
"Uhmm... ano iyong sinisipa ko? Bunga ng ano iyon? Parang ilong ni Miss Chiong!" I giggled.
Inangatan ko siya ng tingin patagilid, his lips pursed but it curved eventually. Napailing siya ng bahagya habang sa harapan lamang ang tingin.
"Macopa," he answered coldly.
"Ah, macopa pala iyon? Ganoon kasi itsura ng ilong ni Miss Chiong!" nakatulis ngusong sinabi ko.
He chuckled a bit and glanced at me. Bumungisngis ako at nagtakip ng aking bibig.
"Maybe, I should call her Miss Macopa from now on. Hindi naman niya siguro alam iyon."
He laughed and pulled me closer.
"Don't you dare." he warned, chuckling. "Ikaw lang ang hindi nakakaalam ng macopa. Hindi si Miss Chiong."
Humalakhak ako at tinaas ang kilay.
"Miss Macops? Hindi na halata 'yon!"
Nakaani iyon ng halakhak mula sa kanya, inilingan niya ako at mas lalong pinisil ang aking kamay.
I'm glad he is like this, madaling mapatawa o mapangiti. I wasn't even taking efforts to make him laugh but I'll definitely do that just to see his smile and hear his laugh.
"Pintasera." he stated.
Ngumuso ako para magpigil ng ngiti.
"Hindi pintas 'yon, I'm stating facts."
He sighed.
"You're at stating facts again," he shook his head.
Naalala ko iyong stating facts ko kanina sa sasakyan, napatawa na lamang ako at mas lalong sumabay sa kanyang paglalakad. I swayed our hands while walking happily. Wala naman siyang reklamo roon at naglalakad lang din.
Akala ko ay kila Minerva muli kami tutuloy, wala namang problema sa akin.
I realized that I should not take everything seriously, kung mayroong may gusto sa kanya ay kasanayan ko na lang kasi sa huli ay wala naman akong karapatan para magselos o umaway ng isang tao dahil lang sa selos.
Maybe, I can get jealous but that's just for me. Hindi na dapat pang ipaalam sa kanya dahil nakakahiya na. Kahit medyo makapal ang mukha ko ay mataas pa sa bundok ang pride ko at kahihiyan. Kanina sumabog lang talaga, pero hindi na mauulit.
Days went like that. Ang kaibahan ay umuuwi na muna ako sa amin pagkatapos ng klase, hindi ko pwedeng ipaalam kila Mommy na siya ang sinasamahan ko kahit pa na kalapit na pamilya naman sila.
Wala lang, I just don't feel like telling them about Elexius. Alam ko namang hindi pwede, bukod sa malaki ang agwat namin ay hindi pa ako handang magsabi sa aking pamilya. Besides, we're just hanging out like friends!
Wala namang big deal, hindi ko lang binabanggit!
Sa ilang araw na iyon ay madalas kami sa isang ilog na may isang bungalow, doon daw sila dati madalas magtambay ng mga kaibigan lalo na kapag nagka-cutting. Naliligo kami sa ilog at kumakain ng mga hindi ko kilalang pagkain sa hapon, tumutungo kami kila Mang Tero na mas malapit kesa kila Minerva at minsan naman ay nagdadala siya para sa aming merienda.
Magkakalayo ang mga bahay doon na puro bungalow, may barung-barong at may ilang maayos din naman. Maputik palagi ang daanan pero hindi ko iniinda kahit na iyon ang pinakaayaw ko. Ang ilog naman ay lalakarin pa sa dulo, sobrang linis noon at malinaw ang tubig.
Ilang bata ang nakakasabay naming maligo pero madalas sa oras ng punta namin ay wala dahil tulog sa tanghali. Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang buong ilog sa harapan, naupo ako sa isang upuang gawa sa kawayan.
Elexius covered me with towel, naupo siya sa aking tabi. Ngumuso ako at nilingon siya.
"Bukas ulit?"
He chuckled and shook his head.
"Why?" I asked curiously.
"I'll be busy with clearance,"
Napatango naman ako.
"So maybe the next day? Ilang araw ba ang clearance?"
Alas quatro parati ang kanyang paghatid sa akin, iyon lang kasi ang curfew ko sa labas ng bahay simula noong nakaraang nalate ako ng uwi. So, we only have three hours left to go here and enjoy, maliligo lang pagkatapos ay meryenda.
He taught me how to eat tahong and many more that I haven't eaten yet or did yet. I learned how to peel off some fruits, maghiwa at mag-ihaw. Magpira-piraso ng mga gulay. We were helping Mang Tero's wife everytime we go there. Pati iyong mga bunga ng puno at mga gulay na hindi kilala ay nakilala ko.
I think he knows everything.
He smirked, he snaked his arm around my waist and his other hand combed my wet hair gently. My heart pounded, mas lalo akong ngumuso at huminga ng malalim. I rested my hand on his thigh.
"I'll be busy this week..." nakalabing aniya habang nakatingin sa akin at sinusuklay ng kanyang mga daliri ang aking buhok.
"Oh..." I reacted sadly.
His lips protruded. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kanyang hubad na dibdib, his chiseled chest were firm and masculine, it was a bit red because of the climate.
"But I'll still see you in evenings,"
"Busy ka rin sa practice ninyo nun!" parang batang sambit ko.
He laughed huskily and covered my waist even more in his arm. Tinigilan niya ang pagsuklay sa aking buhok at pinahinga ang kanyang isang braso sa aking hita. He slowly tilted his head while staring at me with stormy eyes that I always cannot understand.
"Pero, sige. Ayos lang naman! At least I enjoyed the days with you here!" pagak akong humalakhak at iniwas ang tingin.
Pakiramdam ko ay masyado na akong nasanay sa ilang araw, hindi yata maganda ang nangyayaring ito. I should let him do what he needs to do in every day. Ilang araw palang naman kaming ganito pero parang ayaw ko na siyang hindi makasama sa isang araw!
Ganito ang pakiramdam na mangarap sa isang taong noon ay hindi mo makitang mahahawakan mo o makakasama, now that I knew how it feels to be with the man I admire is hard to let go.
The heck, Fab! You're dead!
"I'll still see you..." he sighed softly, he kissed my cheek gently down my jaw line.
I literally had goosebumps as his lips brushed against my soft skin. His dripping wet hair is falling down my thighs, he was kissing my cheek so tender like it was fragile. Ang kamay niya sa aking hita ay umangat para sa aking baba at iharap ang aking mukha sa kanya.
I gripped on his boardshorts when he finally found the side of my lips that slowly met my lips for a gentle small drop kisses like he always does. Iyong ilang beses na patak lamang ngunit hindi tumagal o pinalalalim.
It was making me frustrated and thirsty but I never forced him to kiss me like how I want to be kissed.
I gasped sharply when the last drop turned longer this time, I was breathless like he's taking all my energy by that kiss. Mariin akong lumukot sa kanyang boardshorts dahil sa panggigigil.
He pulled my hand away, siya mismo ang nagpulupot ng aking mga braso sa kanyang leeg. He crouched a bit while kissing me and lifted my legs up to his lap, my both legs were on his left side now. His other hand was on my back, supporting my weight.
Napasinghap ako nang kumalas siya sa halik at binaon ang kanyang mukha sa aking leeg, the towel around me fell down. Tumindig ang balahibo ko nang haplusin ng malamig na hangin ang aking ilang parteng walang tela.
If it's not for his kisses and warmth, I'm probably cold now. Tumingala ako para sa bigyan siya ng sapat na espasyo, I'm so drunk and unconscious.
Freak!
"Damn it, baby..." he whispered huskily. "You're just fucking sixteen, I shouldn't do this..."
"You're already twenty-two..." lasing kong balik.
I'm sure he probably knows how to make girls like what I'm feeling now. So drunk and unconscious, para akong lumilipad ngunit nakatapak sa lupang tila langit dahil sa kanyang halik.
Paos na humalakhak siya, his kisses on my neck went bolder that made me lose myself more. He kissed my neck in any parts, he stopped on my collarbones and I heard him curse something I didn't get because I'm deaf at the moment.
Sanity couldn't find way back to me right now.
I gasped sharply when his hand glided in between my thighs, I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tight. Slowly, I felt myself parting my thighs like a slave to his touch. Suminghap ako nang bahagyang dumampi ang kanyang kamay sa aking manipis na shorts.
The way I feel his every hard move like he's suppressing anger and frustration because of my small moans is very hard not to remember.
Nagmura siyang muli at binitiwan ang aking hita, he immediately closed my thighs and stopped kissing my neck. Mariing hinalikan niya ang aking pisngi, kinulong niya ang aking mga pisngi sa isang palad at pinisil.
"Wake up." he chuckled darkly.
Nanatili akong nakapikit dahil sa kaantukan, umungot ako at sumimangot.
"I'm awake!" singhal ko sa hindi maintindihan na boses.
"You look not..." halakhak niya sabay halik muli sa aking pisngi, he gently bit my cheek and chuckled.
My face heated.
Suminghap ako at nagmulat na dahil sa kanyang ginawa, I glared at him with my sleepy eyes. I don't know how I managed to do that. He raised a brow and pouted a bit while looking at me, inayos niya ang ilang hibla ng buhok sa aking noo.
"I need to bring you home now..." he said.
Ganoon na nga ang kanyang ginawa, alas quatro nang makauwi ako na may ngiti sa labi. Katulad ng dati ay wala parin sila Mommy ng ganitong oras.
Sinalubong ako ni Yna, she took my Anello bag and greeted me. I smiled at her widely, binati ko rin siya ng maligaya.
This is a happy day!
"Tumawag ang Mommy mo at hinahanap ka."
Kumunot agad ang noo ko at mabilis nakaramdam ng kaba.
"Huh? Bakit ang aga? She usually calls at five, right? Bakit daw?" sunod-sunod kong tanong. "Anong sinabi mo? Nasaan ako?"
Shit. Malalagot talaga ako!
Halos matawa siya sa akin.
"Gaya ng sinabi mo, nasa bahay ka nila Chloe." aniya. "Pinatatanong niya lang kung ano ang balak mo bukas?"
I sighed in relief. Mabuti nalang at naniniwala si Yna na kila Chloe ako parati. Hindi naman niya ako sinusundan hanggang sa makalabas para maghintay kay Elexius.
Kumunot ang noo ko. Some maids were removing our curtains, mukhang maglilinis sila ngayong hapon. Bakit hinapon naman?
"Bukas?"
She nodded and smiled.
"Kaarawan mo, nakalimutan mo ba?"
My eyes widened in realization. I gasped and covered my mouth.
"Hala, I forgot about it!" I said in awe. "Well, I don't have any plans. I told them about it, bakit nagtatanong pa si Mommy?"
"E, nag imbita na yata si Ma'am Fleur ng mga dadalo."
"What!?" I hissed.
Napag-usapan na namin ni Mommy na ayaw ko ng gastos ngayong taon at ilagay na lang iyon para sa aking susunod na kaarawan na debut naman. Hindi kasi sila papayag na hindi enggrande ang aking debut na magaganap sa susunod na taon.
After a talk with Yna, I went to my room and showered. Nakatulog na rin ako dahil sa pagod ng araw na iyon. I was awoken by a call at midnight. Agad kong kinapa ang aking cellphone sa bedside table, aantok-antok na tiningnan ko ang screen. It's just 12 AM!
I answered it unconsciously.
I groaned sleepily for a greet on the other line.
"Happy seventeenth, my flower..." a bedroom husky voice filled my ears.
My eyes went wide even sleepy. I gasped in awe.
"Elexius!" I exclaimed happily.
Napatagilid ako sa pagkakahiga at niyakap ng mahigpit ang aking unang malambot, I giggled silently. My heart is racing wildly and very happy.
He's the one who greeted first! Kahit walang maganap sa araw na ito ay alam kong buo na ang aking kaarawan dahil sa kanya.
He chuckled sleepily.
"Sorry for waking you up, baby..."
My chest hammered even more. Damn, I feel so deeply addicted to him! Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba ganito nalang ang epekto niya, nakakainis na masarap sa pakiramdam.
"It's okay!" I said with a smile on my lips.
"Did someone already called you?"
Lumabi ako at umiling kahit na hindi naman niya nakikita.
"Ikaw ang una, ang lucky mo!" hagikgik ko.
He chuckled softly, akala ko ay magrereklamo pa na nagyayabang ako.
"Hmmm, very lucky." he mumbled.
I sighed softly while smiling. Mas lalo kong nilapat sa aking tainga ang cellphone at niyakap ang unan.
"I'm very lucky, too..." tahimik kong sinabi.
Very lucky to finally got a chance to hold his hand, to kiss him, to have his arms around me and many more I've been always dreaming way back. I still cannot believe this. Pati ang pagtawag na ito ay talagang masarap isipin.
He turned silent on the other line, tanging marahang paghinga niya lamang ang aking nadidinig. I smiled joyfully.
"Thank you!"
"Tsss, stop it." supladong aniya.
"What!? I'm just thankful for the long days you made me happy! And taught me some things I don't know! Ngayon alam ko na ang kamote cue at nilagang kamote! Alam ko na magbalat ng mangga at mag-ihaw ng isda! At uminom ng buko! At marami pa!"
He laughed huskily.
"Uh-hmm, don't thank me yet... We'll do more things every single day ahead." he said.
Napahagikgik ako sa katuwaan. Ibig sabihin may plano pa siyang isama ulit ako? Wow! Hindi talaga ako umaasa pa sa mga sobra.
"Still, Elexius. Basag trip ka!" pabirong singhal ko sa kanya. "Can't I just get a welcome from you? That would be so enough for me!"
"Your kisses were very enough for me, Amaryllis..."
My heart burned like a flower can't wait to bloom again even ashes because of the fire he brought, and get burned again and again 'till it stops burning me.