De's POV
There's sunlight beaming upon my face. Blazing hot sunlight. It's as if I was just a few feet away from it. I look down and there's paper bags in my hand with groceries filled to the top. I can smell the carrots and the vegetables. Also, for some reason I can smell the rubber on the bottom of my shoes burning on the hot concrete. I look around me and I find that I am in a parking lot. The same parking lot back in Harlem. I'm standing by my old car the trunk is opened and the inside is bare. I wonder why I am here. How'd I got here? That's the question I often asked myself.
I don't live here anymore. I live in California. I left this Godforsaken place. So why am I here now?
My conscience reminds me over and over again that I've been standing here once before. Not like in the past, but this exact same spot, exact same position, I've been here before. The people who pass by are the same people, doing the same exact thing.
A mother is yelling at her child. A man is buying drugs from some one I knew. They all wore the same thing. Say the same stuff. I would think that I'm losing it.
I've lived this day before. I know this but I don't. I carry on as if I don't have any suspicion about it what so ever.
I'm placing groceries in my trunk and humming tunelessly to myself when suddenly I hear a car engine behind me. I turn to see a van a big black van. Then my vision was stolen from me by a hand and my mouth was covered by a cloth. The smell of it was deadly, almost intoxicating. I could see darkness closing in.
Then I'm in a darkened room running away from voices cursing me and knives being thrown at me. I was screaming. I was yelling, there was something hurting me in between my legs. I fall down and start kicking and screaming as I tried to fight the bodies off. Sweaty stinky bodies to be exact. Then my hands are blinded down by someone who called me a bitch and ordered be to stay still. My fighting legs were also held down but I kept screaming even though there was something in my mouth, a clothe of some sort. I felt something enter me and I cried out. This doesn't feel right, it hurts, it hurts! I wanted to scream. The smell of blood burned my nostrils. Laughter of Mockery filled my ears. I was still screaming out for help.
"De!"
How'd they know my name?
"De, wake up!"
Wake up?
" De!!"
My eyes shot open and I see Liyah shaking me with worry in her gray eyes." De, are you okay?"
My body is covered in sweat. I slowly rise from the green sheets and place my hand over my forehead as I breathed. My heart was beating like crazy. It felt like it was trying to jump out of my chest and run away from me.
"It was just a dream." She said softly as she brushed the hair from my face. "It was only a dream."
"It didn't feel like one."
She pursed her lips." This is what, the fifth time this month you have woken up like that?" She said as she walked over to her keyboard and turns it off. " Was it the same dream?" she hands me a bottled water.
I only nod my head as I twisted the top off.
Liyah was very well aware about my constant nightmares about the day my brothers friends picked me up from the grocery store and drugged me up on heroin and raped me. They constantly haunting my dreams. Its been that way since it happened. So bad to the point where I fear to go to sleep at night.
"It looks like it's getting worse." The concern in her voice made raise my head up her. Her hair was pulled into a pony tail showing off her face. She had stuck her favorite ink pen in her mouth as she book marked her journal.
I ran my fingers through my hair and folded my legs in front of myself, sitting Indian style. "What are you writing?"
Her eyes peered up at me along with with her perfectly arched eyebrow. That look told me that she knew I was trying to change the subject. Who would not want to change it? I was still shaking from it. "A new song." she answered without any sass or sarcasm that I expected her to have.
I smiled. " Ooooh lemme hear!"
She shook her head. " All I have are part of the lyrics. I don't even have a melody down for it yet."
I poked my lip out. Her song were always something that I looked forward to. She always had a song that grabbed at your heart, and she had this power of making you feel exactly what she was feeling when she wrote the song. " Is it a love song." I teased.
She chuckled." No," she places her journal on her night stand. " I was just thinking about what Quincy had said about the album needing a song that relates to something other than love and it just sort of came to me. "She said with shrug.
"So..." i said, as I climbed out of bed and sat on hers pulling my knees up to my chest. "it's not about Michael in anyway or any form?"
A smile stretched across her face. Her dimples began to make an appearance. Dimples that I didn't even know she had up until a couple of months ago. " No, it doesn't. It has nothing to do with him." She reassured.
I pursed my lips." You know, you never told me about what happened."
Her eyebrows knitted with confusion." What are you talking about?"
" You know, the first time he you know.......tap-that-ass."
She started laughing." De!"
"What?! I want to know when where and how!"
She shook her head with embarrassment. Her smile was so big that it showed gums..
"You better spill, girl." I said as I playfully slapped her arm. " Well...we were at his brother house and-"
"Which one?"
"Jermaine's."
My mouthed dropped. "Wait, you gave it up at his brothers house?"I cocked my head to the side." You didn't do it in his bed did ya?"
Her face fell." No, De. Just let me finish."
I held my hands up in defense." Okay, okay. Continue."
"As I was sayin' we were at his house and it the middle of the night. He asked me of I wanted to go for a walk and I said okay, cool. So we were on the beach and and we were cuddling and he told me me that he wanted to marry me..."
I gasped.
"I told him that I wanted to wait until I was at least well in my twenties and he acted like he didn't want to wait that long but he didn't argue about it. Anyways, love somehow came into the conversation and I told him that I loved him--which is true. Next thing I know he was kissing me and one thing led to another and..." She let her sentence trail as she threw her hands up and let them fall as to say The rest is history.
"Oh, my God. Was he good?"
Her gray eyes darted towards the pale walls. " Hmm. Define good."
"Did he do you so good that you forgot how to speak English?"
She wrinkle her nose with disgust." Uh, no. But I was shaking."
My mouth drop to the floor." You mean like with nerves or..."
"No like he felt so good that I was shaking."
"Oh, my God! I can't believe it. He don't look like type."
She smirked." He's not as innocent as he seems, De."
"I see that. The way he got you smiling over here. Girl, you are glowing! He must be doing the damn thing!"
She only laughed and shook her head.
"Is he big?"
Her eyes widened with astonishment. Her smile grew wider." I didn't see it, but I definitely felt it."
My stomach was beginning to hurt from all the laughter I was holding in. I fell back against the bed laughing so hard that I began snorting.
"What's so funny?"she asked.
I shook my head as I held my stomach, trying to stop my laughter.
"What's going on?" I heard Nikki's voice from the other side of the room. I sat up and whipped the tears from my eyes. I watched Nikki make her way over to my bed, plopping down on it. "What's so funny?"
"Liyah and Michael." I said when I was finally able to control myself
"Liyah...." she asked slowly as she glanced over at her." God, you're calling her that too?" She said referring to her name. " And what about them?"
" They've been doing the nasty."
Liyah rolled her eyes and cover her face with the white sheets. " Why..."she groaned.
"Did you use protection?" Nikki asked.
I shot a look at her. That is a typical question for her to ask. Liyah pulled the cover from under face. " The first night we did it twice. The first time we didn't, but the second time we did. We used one the other times afterwards."
"Wait, wait, wait..." I said. " Hold up, you did it twice in one night?!"
She nodded.
"Damn...Wayne only does it once and he goes to sleep. What the fuck?"
"Aj, you didn't use a condom?" That seemed to be the only thing that was on her mind." What the hell, how you could you be so stupid?"
Sucking her teeth she sat up in the bed." I know what you're thinking. I had my period last month and I had it this month too. "
Nikki glared at her." Yeah, but you don't know what he could be carrying."
"Nikki...seriously?" I said. I swear that girl only saw the bad and everything. " This is Michael and Liyah we are talking about here."
"Still...."
"He don't have anything, I promise. He's really.....safe."She chose her words carefully.
"Do you know his history? You know, the girls he's dated in the past. I heard his brothers used to be nasty."
"He's only dated like two girls before me." She said quietly, a sigh escaped her lips." But he did have sex with somebody else before me."
"Who?" Nikki and I asked at the same time.
She glanced up at the both of us before sighing again." Diana."
"Diana?" I asked. frowning my eyebrows." Diana who? Ross?"
Her head dropped as she gave to quick nods.
"Eww, she's so old...." Nikki said disgustedly.
"I know, right? He said it was only a one time thing. It happened a while ago, but I can't help but to wonder if he still have feelings for her."
"Still?" I asked.
"He used to love her and they were suppose to get together, but she broke his heart when she divorced her husband, but told him that they could never be together." She shook her head and sighed again." I met the woman yesterday, she's a total spoiled bitch."
"Oh girl, he loves you. I'm sure he's over her." I reassured her as I pulled her into my lap and began stroking her hair.
"Yeah, he looks at you with love in his eyes." Nikki smiled.
"I know he does, but that just bothers me so much. All I picture now is his tongue going down her throat."
"Did he say it was a mistake?"
"Yes, he said that she acts like it never happened, and that he was completely over it." She sighed. I could tell she was confused by the whole thing.
"Well, if he says he's over it then he's over it." I said.
Liyah shrugged her shoulders. " I guess..."
Liyah's POV
A week later...
"You know, it would be nice for us to go out sometime." I was standing in his room, looking at all the records he had stacked on a shelf.
"You know going out is hard for us. You're becoming well known to the public."
"And? That doesn't mean we have to stay cooped up in your room every time we see each other." I said, still not turning around. I was putting the Commodores on the record player.
"The media will start saying thing about us. You know how they are. They have been saying that I'm gay for years now."
"Are you gay, Michael?"I asked.
"No." He answered sharply.
I turned my head to my shoulder." Then why should it matter?"
"If we want to keep our relationship private-"
"I never said I wanted it private." I said, cutting him off.
His sigh came from behind me. It was closer than I thought it would be. I whirled around to see him walking up to me. "Where do you want to go?"
I shrugged. "A movie, to lunch? I don't care, any where but here."
His eyebrow furrowed. "What's wrong with here?"
" Nothing," I said softly. "It's just that we have listened to every classical music piece that you have and also watched every musical and that is in here. If we aren't talking we're kissing and if we aren't kissing we are under the sheets. I mean-"
"Okay, okay. I get your point, you're tired of coming here anytime we get together."He said as he grabbed my face. "How about I take you somewhere tonight?"
I smiled. "Okay...where?"
"A movie?"
I thought for a moment. "Okay. Kids at school have been talking about Superman. They say it was good." I gave him a cheeky smile.
"You're so cute." He laughed. " I'll go see if I can find the paper."
As we started walking towards the room door Janet came through. "Michael somebody's here to see you."
"Who?" He asked.
"I don't know. Randy just told me to come and get you. "
"Alright Dunk, I'll be there on a minute."
She turned and walked out the room without another word. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow at him." Dunk?" I asked.
He started laughing." It's her nickname."
I shook my head and turned the record player and stopped it.
I felt his arms around me. "Don't worry, I have one for you too."
I looked back at him." What, Li or Liyah?"
He chuckled." No...those aren't Nicknames."
I turned to him." Then what is it?"
He pressed my dimple on my right cheek."Dimples."
"Really?"
"Yes, Dimps for short. It fits you."
"How long have you been calling me that in your mind?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Since that I day I saw you smile."
"Wow. "
There was another knock at the door." Michael!" that voice was one that I didn't recognize.
Michael let me go and walked over to the door. I sat down on his bed while he opened the door."Oh, my God. What are you doing here?" I didn't hear what the other person said, but I could tell it was a females voice. " Come in, I want to introduce you to someone." he turned to me smiling." Liyah, come here."
I stood up, shifting my hair to one side allowing it to drape over my shoulder. There was a short girl who didn't look that much older than me. She had long curly brown hair and Carmel skin, along with big hazel brown eyes. She smiled when she saw me. "So this is the famous Liyah?" She asked.
"Nessa this is my girlfriend, Liyah. Liyah this is Vanessa."
Although I'm smiling confusion build up inside of me. Why was she here? What did she want? Those were the questions that filled my brain. "So you're Vanessa..." I hint at my sarcasm softly.
"Well if you know me, you must know I'm hugger." She said. Before I knew it she was hugging me. I looked up at Michael raising my eyebrow.
He only kept smiling.
"You're really pretty, I saw your video!"
"Thanks.." I stepped back, giving myself some breathing room.
" I just came to invite you and Randy to my birthday party I have coming up. "She said to Michael. " It's going to be at Studio 54. You can come too, if you want."
"Oh thanks," Michael said. "but I'll be going on t-"
"Randy told me and it's before the tour."
"Oh okay. "
"Okay, and Liyah, you can invite the girls if you're not busy. I would love to have you there."
"I'll spread the word." I said softly.
"Alrighty!" She gave Michael a hug. "I will see you guys later then. It was nice meeting you, Liyah."
"Same to you."
She smiled at me again, showing off her perfect teeth. "See ya!" she turned and skipped out of the door.
When she was gone I turned to him not saying anything." Don't give me that look." he said.
"I'm not giving you any kind of look, Michael. " I said a he took my hand.
"She's just my friend, Liyah."
"Are you accusing me of being jealous?"
"I'm no accusing you of anything. It was all in your face Li."
I sucked my teeth. "Babe, seriously?"
"I should be asking you that." He kissed forehead. " You shouldn't be jealous."
"I'm not!" I lied. " Can we just go find out when that movie is?"