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Kit's POV
If I say that I'm completely happy, I would be lying.
I'm 17 now. Ming is too, he just turned a couple weeks ago. I will turn 18 in a month or so.
Our relationship is going on strong, we are happy.
We've been together about two years. I think he might be the one, actually. I'm happy with him, and I think he's happy with me. If he wasn't, why would he be with me?
Remember the incident where I thought that Pha had something against this? Well, I was wrong. I mean not completely. He was head over heels for Yo, and because both of them are guys, it was hard, almost impossible for him to confess. And when me and Ming 'came out' as a couple, he was jealous about how easy it looked.
It went the way, that he confessed to Yo, when he got a little encouragement from me and Ming. You can just imagine the face that Yo was making in that time. I'm not sure if anything on this earth comes even close to the redness that decorated his cheeks.
It was a beautiful sight, seeing someone freshly in love. They are now happily together, like me and Ming.
There is this thing though...
I already told that I'm not completely happy. That is true. It has nothing to do with Ming however. It's my parents, my school, my life in general.
My parents are as stubborn as always. It's the same drill, they are right, I am wrong. They think that everything is fine, when it's definitely not the case. They (My dad most of the time) hurt me physically, when I was already hurting mentally because of them.
My school life sucked. I am still bullied. My friends, Ming, doesn't know about it. I've kept it as a secret. I'm actually quite good at keeping secrets. I don't think that's completely a good thing though.
Anyway, in the school, when I'm not with my friends or Ming... I'm just gonna compound Ming to my friends, he belong to that category too... when I'm not with my friends, meaning I'm eating alone or I am in different classes than them, I'm being bullied, mentally most of the time, but physically too. It surely doesn't help the state that I'm already in. With problems at home, I don't need the same kind of treatment from some random guys from school.
Some days I just think that I could escape from my parent by going to school, but it doesn't work.
When they are mentally bullying me, they are calling me names, whispering about me, they blame me about things I did wrong, they criticize, they intimidate me and are trying to take the control over my actions.
Physically, they are kicking, punching, biting, even spitting. One time some dude was waving a knife, and cut 'accidentally' a little bit of my leg.
You probably think why haven't Ming notice all this. Physical bullying leaves marks, why isn't he noticing. Well, it's because most of the marks are in the leg area, and I always use long pants. Stomach area, I never take of my shirt.
But Kit, when you are having sex, isn't he seeing them at least then.
No, he's not. We are not... In that area yet. It's not that I don't want to, it's just... I feel so insecure about myself, about my body. It's something I'm not ready to show off.
It's not like we haven't done anything... We have cuddled, kept long make out session and... Well... I think that might be all. We haven't had the 'skin against skin' contact precisely. He hasn't even tried. I'm kinda clad, because I don't want to talk about it with him. It seems really awkward.
But in the same time I'm scared. He hasn't even tried. What if he doesn't wanna do it at all? What if he doesn't want me, in any way? What if he thinks that these boy x boy relationships don't include sex? Maybe he wants me to only be a mental boyfriend. Maybe he doesn't want me in a way that I want him.
But beyond that, we actually are quite happy. We have dates as usual as possible. We see each other whenever we got the change.
I haven't told him anything about the bullying, or about my parents. I don't want to worry him. He might do something stupid if he finds out. Or he wouldn't do anything. That is basically my biggest fear right now.
Yes, we are happy, but sometimes I just feel like he's not happy. Not happy with me. He shows that he is happy with me, but I'm not sure about it...
At least almost everything is OK in this moment, I just don't want it to change, at least not in the bad way.
*
Ming's POV
I think my news are going to crush Kit. Maybe he's happy about this, but I don't think he will be.
I have to tell him about this.
I'm meeting him today.
I'll tell him.
I have to, It's for the best.
It's going to happen and I can't move it.
I heard my doorbell ringing. That must be him. I took a deep breath before going to open the door.
As usually, I kissed him when I saw him. Not deeply, of course not, but with a small gesture to show him that I'm not going anywhere. Except this day... I am.
"Kit, I have something to tell you. And please, don't freak out."
"Ming... You are scaring me," he looks fragile.
I led him to sit on my bed. I sat next to him, taking his hands and looking straightly into his eyes.
"Kit..."
"Ming...?"
"I'm going to America, as an exchange student."
His expression changed. I can't read that face... Is he sad or... relieved?
"For how long?"
I gulped. "A-a a year and a h-half."
"WHAT?!" Okay, he's definitely not relieved. "You are leaving? Wha... What?" His expression changed from surprised angry look to a sad and worrying look.
Both of us kept silent.
When he finally stated, "What is this gonna do to our relationship?" I almost died of a heart attack.
I can see a tear drop from the corner of his eye. I wiped it away with my thumb, placing both of my hands on his cheeks.
"Look, this is not going to change anything. I love you, and nothing's ever gonna change that. It's just a year and a half. What could possibly happen in that time?"
"You could find someone new, forget about me. Be with some good looking girl, someone with a perfect body construction, perfect hair, and someone who's... W-who's ready to have s-sex with you." He is stuttering his words.
"What? Why would I ever even look at someone, when you are here," I placed his hand on my chest, right on to my heart. "Feel that? That only beats for you. I'm not going to do something that would ever hurt you."
"That's what you say now," he removed his hand. "But it's a fucking year and a half! You can't possibly be without someones skin contact for so long. Which means, that when I'm here, waiting for you to come back, to kiss you, to hug you, to feel you, you are in America, thinking something else than me! Ming, darling, why are you doing this to me?" He whispered the last sentence, sobbing hardly while still looking to my eyes.
"Kit, I'm going there only because of school, to learn English better and to have some foreign friends. There's no way I would even consider leaving you."
"But you are. You are leaving me... For almost two years..."
"Hey... I know that everything's gonna be fine. We will call, text, we will be in contact every time when possible."
"Yeah I guess..." He's whispering very silently, I can barely hear him. "But promise me... You will not fall for anyone."
"I would never do that, Kit, I love you." How can he even think something like that.
"Love you too," he smiled a little. That's not a confident smile, it can be seen from his eyes.
"Trust me a little na?" He nodded.
I wiped the last one of his tears. I took his chin in between my two fingers, tilting his head a little up to meet my lips. I kissed him, trying to make it meaningful, but in the end, it turned out to be a passionate make out session. Well, I guess it's gonna make up some of the time that we are apart.
*
Kit's POV
I can't possibly think of anything worse right now.
He is really gonna leave me.
Leave me in here.
Here, with my parents.
Here, in the school.
The only spark of light in my life, is leaving.
I have my friends, but they are not able to bring something even close to the feeling that I get from Ming.
I'm basically left alone.
I'm happy for him of course, when he does this, he gets more open doors in the future.
I'm not happy for my own occasion though.
I'm practically not sad, I just feel... Empty.
It's like I'm not feeling anything because of this. When I sobbed at his place, I lost all of my feelings with the tears that I dropped.
Only things that I feel are...
Emptiness.
Anxiety.
Unhappiness.
Depression....
***
((So, did Ming's leaving make you feel something? It's gonna be dark in the next chapter, so prepare yourselves... It's not gonna be pretty))