Description: This imagine was requested by DramioneFangirlSays!
House: You Choose
Blood Status: You Choose
Warnings: Some unpleasant themes, near depression, eating disorder-like theme
A/N: If you're in another house other than Slytherin, you're going to sit at the Slytherin table in a few scenes. Maybe you're a rule breaker? :)
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Third Person POV:
Hanging her head, y/n stares at the ground in front of her ask she walks to her dorm room after class. As she continues, she brushes her hair in front of her face, trying to conceal her features from the world around her. Y/n stumbles through the door to her common room and into her dorm room, laying down on the bed, holding one of her pillows against her chest. A small tear trickles down her cheek and onto the fabric of her pillowcase as she takes in a shaky breath. Most people would be confused as to why a girl like y/n would be crying. To others, y/n y/l/n has a perfect life. She's the top student in all of her many classes, not counting Hermione Granger, of course, she is a school prefect, and she has her dream boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. Despite these truths, as y/n entered fifth year, she was suddenly stricken with an enormous lack of self-confidence. As the days went on from the start of school, in her subconscious, she would criticise herself for all sorts of things. From her grades to her looks, she would find something that she deemed wrong with herself and dwell on it to the point that it began to tear her apart. In the recent weeks, this has gotten so bad that y/n has begun to feel like a constant could of sadness and regret hovers over her head.
Sighing and letting her thoughts eat her from the inside out, y/n stumbles out of her dormitory, back down the hallways and stairs to the Great Hall for dinner. As she enters the Great Hall, Draco Malfoy stands up, smiling broadly and waving her over to his spot a the Slytherin table. Y/n looks over to him and walks over to her boyfriend.
"Hey, love," Draco says, kissing her carefully on the cheek. "You okay?"
Y/n nods, trying to dodge his gaze. He pauses for a moment, not convinced, but pulls her down to sit next to him. Dinner soon appears magically on the plates in front of you and Draco's friends eagerly dig in and serve themselves. As Draco grabs a serving spoon, he looks over to y/n who hasn't budged or made any effort to feed herself.
"Y/n? Are you sure you're okay?" Draco asks, concerned. "Aren't you hungry? I didn't see you eat any lunch. You must be positively starving by now."
Y/n shakes her head, staring down at the empty golden polished plate in front of her.
"I'm fine, Draco," she replies. Draco shakes his head.
"You don't seem fine, y/n. Please eat something," he begs. Y/n does nothing and Draco serves her a small bit of food. Y/n picks up her fork and continues to take small bites, but mostly plays with it for the rest of dinner while Draco stares at her anxiously. At the end of dinner, y/n stands up and kisses Draco on the cheek. he says a reluctant goodbye and watches as she heads down the rows of tables and into the hallway. Making sure nobody follows her, she heads into the girls' bathroom and enters a stall, firmly closing and locking it behind her. She kneels down and sits against the walls of the stall, staring at two of her fingers.
Why is a guy like Draco with a girl like me? she thinks. He's out of my league. I'm too fat for him, I'm too ugly for him. I'm never going to be good enough for him or for anyone.
Sighing, she goes over to the toilet and puts her index and middle finger together, and opens her mouth. She leans over the toilet and hopes nobody can hear her as she inserts them down her throat.
~~~~~
The next day, y/n walks through the halls just as before, shielding herself from everyone. Her fellow classmates laugh together. It's the weekend and there are no classes for anyone and even though it's almost curfew, many of the students are still out enjoying the turn of the season. Y/n heads back to the common room, trying to hide her face from anyone who might be near her only to find Draco and his friends all in a group sitting in the hallway, talking together. Y/n watches as Pansy laughs as Draco says something. She's flirting with him and it's painfully obvious. She flips her hair around and giggles. Draco takes no notice of this, but y/n's heart breaks.
That's the sort of girl Draco deserves. Pretty. She's not fat or ugly. I'm not what he deserves. She is who he really should be with, she thinks, turning away from the group and heading back to bed. Passing through the common room, y/n thoughts consume her again and they swirl around in her head. After quickly changing into her night clothes, y/n crawls into bed and hugs her pillow once more. Draco must not love me anymore. He didn't even blink an eye when Pansy was flirting. He seemed to really enjoy it, in fact. Yeah, that's right y/n. It's her. She loves him and he loves her. That's how it works for you, y/n. You never get the guy with your face and your body. You're scum compared to Pasny. She's the diamond and you're the plain, old coal that people just want to burn. Coal isn't meant to be treasured. Compared to her, you're nothing. Draco was probably using you, y/n. Draco couldn't ever love a girl like you.
Tears stream down her face as he thinks of Draco and Pansy together. Tears soak her pillow as y/n imagines Draco breaking up with her.
"It's going to happen tomorrow. I know it," y/n whispers to herself. "He's going to break up with me."
~~~~~
Waking up alone in an empty dorm room, y/n pulls the covers off of her and notices her roommates already left for breakfast. Feeling how puffy her eyes are, y/n heart collapses as she whimpers as more tears stream down her cheeks again.
"You look awful, y/n," she sighs to herself, slouching over on top of her bed. "Not like that's anything new..."
"Y/n?" a voice calls from behind the door as the person knocks carefully. The voice is really familiar. It's Draco's. "Y/n, are you in there?"
"What are you doing Draco? You aren't supposed to be in my dorm," y/n replies shakily.
"Come on, y/n. Open up. It's getting to the afternoon and you're not up yet. Come on, baby, please. Let me in?" he asks through the door. Y/n sighs and unlatches the door, letting him in. The dor swings open and Draco comes in, holding a plate "Hey, y/n, I brought you some breakfast and-"
Draco stops in his tracks and takes one look at y/n and sets the plate down on a table. he rushes forward and waps his arms around y/n. "
Y/n, what's going on? Have you been crying?" he asks. Y/n says nothing. "Please? tell me the truth, babe."
"Y-You're here to do it, right, Draco?" y/n asks softly, her voice quivering.
"Do what, y/n?" Draco asks, pulling back and holding her arms.
"Break up with me, of course," she replies.
"What? Where'd you get that sort of idea, y/n?" Draco gasps.
"It's obvious. I don't deserve you. You should be with Pansy! She was flirting with you and it's clear that you two should be together!" y/n cries, the tears spilling again.
"Y/n, do. Don't cry, babe, please!" Draco says, taking out his handkerchief and wiping y/n's stream of tears up.
"NO! You should be with her! She's pretty and I'm ugly! She's thin and I'm fat, Draco! You shouldn't be with a girl like me! It's not how it should be!"
"Oh, y/n! I knew something was up, but I didn't know about this!" Draco says, taking her waist and pulling her in tighter. "This is why you've been upset... Is there anything else you're not telling me, y/n? Please say something so I can help if there is..."
"D-Draco... I-I," y/n chokes. "I cry myself to sleep some night. Sometimes I choke myself if I eat. Sometimes, I don't eat at all. Whenever I look in the mirror all I see is how fat I am and think about how much better of a girl you deserve. I started to think that you don't love me anymore!"
"Y/n... My God... I'm so sorry," Draco whispers. "Please know that I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than words. Please don't think badly of yourself or choke yourself. Please, don't. You're beautiful inside and out."
"B-But Pansy-"
"No, y/n. Don't think about her. She's not important. What's important is that you take care of yourself. You are not ugly. You are not fat. You are amazing. You are wonderful," Draco says. Y/n whimpers and buries her face in Draco's chest. Draco leads her over to her bed and throws the covers over her and she starts to cry again.
"Shhhh," he tells y/n. "It's okay, love. I'm here."
Y/n snuggles into her blankets and turns to face Draco.
"Please stay?" she asks, holding out her hand. Draco takes it and crawls under the covers with her.
"Always, y/n," he replies. "I'll never leave."
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A/N: This chapter was 1,578 words long! Thanks for reading!
- Soiea