Chapter 12: Tabitha’s POV
Dad was still asleep when I woke up. But he soon woke up after me. He sat up and he let go of me and ran a hand through this hair. “Juliet obviously came in here.” He laughed as he looked at the closed computer and I looked at the dark lights.
“Yeah…” I yawned as Dad got off the bed and I went to go look for a book to read. I was about to open the book when Mom walked in. I put the book on the floor and Juliet walked over to me.
“Honey we need to talk.” She said as she sat next to me on the bed.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I want to get you therapy.” She said and I sighed nodding. “You’re scaring your little brother.
“Half little brother.” I corrected her. Ever sense I found out that Juliet wasn’t my mom, I didn’t like him being called just my little brother because he wasn’t- he was only half of me.
“Okay Half. Anyways you promised if something along the lines of this happened again you would get therapy.” She said and she was right- I did promise that.
“I know and I will.” I said getting a bit annoyed. She knew that I knew I had made that promise, I wish she didn’t rub that in my face.
***** Time Skip 2 days later *****
I was with dad in the waiting room of the therapy office. I sat there quietly, not wanting to be here. Soon I was called and he left me on my own. I walked in and she told me to have a seat on the couch. I didn’t want to lay down but I listened anyways.
“So Tabitha,” The therapist by the name of David said. David was an older man, maybe in his late 50’s. He was slightly balding and he wore suits with elbow patches. “I hear you have a problem with panic attacks.” He said and I nodded.
“Why do these occur in your mind?” He asked and I took a breath.
“Because, when I was locked in the Janitor Closet or that Classroom, there was no guarantee that I would make it out. Yes it seems ridiculous to think that I might not have been found, but you’re in a small room that’s sound proof.” I said, closing my eyes thinking back.
“Who was there to save you Tabitha?” He asked.
“Dad…”I said trailing off.
“Tell me Tabitha, what were your symptoms during the panic attacks?” He asked. I could feel my body tense as he asked me more and more questions.
“I was having troubles breathing, I was dizzy, I was sweating everywhere…. I couldn’t think straight, I was getting nauseas and I was having thoughts of dying in there.” I said. Even though my eyes were closed I could tell he was writing something down.
“Are you closer to your father than your mother?” He asked.
“Which one.” I sighed.
“Juliet.” He said. I opened my eyes and I looked at him.
“Dad because now, when I stare at Juliet I only see someone bossing me around even though she’s not even my mother- she has been playing pretend for 6 and a half years.” I said, I hadn’t even noticed that I called her Juliet not Mom.
“Do you love your mother?” He asked. I had to think.
“I don’t know… again she has been playing pretend with me so long I don’t know what to think with her at this point. I know dad could have told me but really that’s something they have decide on together because he wouldn’t be getting hurt when he told me- mom would.” I said and he nodded. I looked at the time and an hour had already passed.
“You ready to go?” He asked and I nodded, standing up.
“Thank you, by the way.” I said shaking his hand.
“My pleasure.” He smiled.
“Can you keep this a secret from Juliet? I don’t know how she will react, you could tell dad if you like.” I said and he nodded, walking me out. I met up with dad in the waiting room and David beckoned him over and they whispered quietly. Finally dad met up with me and we went to the car.
We were driving home and I knew dad would bring something up about him and the therapist’s talk. “So Tabitha, the therapist told me about the things you said- I’m torn though.” He said. He didn’t sound sad or disappointed, more confused.
“How so?” I asked.
“You used to love Juliet before you knew the truth.” He said.
“She was playing pretend with me for 6 and a half years dad- that’s not something I can forget. I still talk to her but I don’t want to make eye contact with her.” I aid and he nodded. Now I was confused, I just told my father that I did not want to make eye contact with the love of his life and he just nods?
“I can respect that- I’m not going to put you down for that because you are right- it was a game of pretend but right now were going to play a game of real.” He said as he stopped the car. I looked up and we were at the graveyard.
That graveyard.
“I am taking you to your mother’s grave, you asked me a while back and after what you fessed up to today, I think you deserve to see her.” He said as he opened the car door. We stepped out and he took my hand as we walked down the path to her stone. There were dying flowers next to it and her grave just looked upsetting. I knelt beside it and we both held our hands in prayer.
Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May their souls, and the souls of all the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.
I stood up and I patted the stone one last time and we soon walked off. We didn’t talk the entire time, I wasn’t mad at dad at all- I was just thinking. I could tell dad was too. I guess we just didn’t want our train of thought disturbed.
Flash Back: Andy’s POV
I parked my car and I quickly spotted the grave with all the roses surrounding them. The grave looked freshly placed. I walked over and read the stone aloud for Tabitha to her: Here lies Nikki Harper, She will be dearly missed: February 21st 1992 – January 3rd 2014. Tabitha looked confused but yet a bit sad. “I’m sorry baby, I never really liked your mother but I know you did.” I say softly as I rubbed her back. I turned around and walked away and put Tabitha back in the car and she looked as if she saw reality that she was missing something and it was something she totally forgot for about 6 months.
Andy’s POV:
I couldn’t help but think about that day. I remember how small she was and how happy she was. We soon got home and Tabitha got out of the car, still in thought. I felt like crap though. I thought that her entire life was fucked up because of me.
Later that night she was in her room and I knocked on her door. “Come in.” She called and slowly turned the knob. “Hey you didn’t come to dinner.” I said.
“I know, I wasn’t hungry I just had a lot on my mind.” She said, she was looking at the locket, looking at the detail. “Dad, why is life have to be a living hell?” She asked. I didn’t bother to scold her for using the word hell because she was right- why was life a living hell?
“Because people on this earth are mean and cruel and they make other people bad- it’s like a game of brainwashing the person next to you.” I said and she nodded.
“It’s more like the game telephone, it all started with a nice person till words spread now the person on the end of the line is an evil over lord.” She said and I agreed. “Can I take some medicine for the night?” She asked.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I don’t think I can sleep, I have too many thoughts in my head.” She said and I sighed and went to go get some Nyquil from the supply closet. I took the bottle and I took a little cup and I filled it up half way. I walked back into her room and I handed her the little cup which she drank. I sat with her and I talked to her till she had completely fallen asleep. For the past 5 minutes I had been laughing because when you’re falling asleep almost nothing you say makes sense.
I soon crawled into bed and Juliet was already there reading a magazine. “So how was her first day?” She asked.
“Alright.” I nodded.
“So what did the doctor say?” She asked.
“He told me that Tabitha only wants me to know.” I said and she sighed.
“But I’m your wife.” She said.
“Look she is already doing better- I don’t want to mess it up.” I said and she sighed and nodded, now agreeing.
“I am proud of you ya know.” She said. I laughed.
“Why?” I said.
“Because you’re always there for her and nobody else has.” She said. “No go to sleep, you have to go to the studio in the morning. And you should bring Tabitha, she always has a good time there.” She said and I nodded.
“Alright.” I shrugged and I gave her a kiss and turned off my light.