The rain splattered against the window ferociously as it filled the silence within the room, between the two friends. Every second that passed with Craig anxiously biting his lip, he was regretting every choice he'd made today, especially the choice that lead to him handing the letter over to Tweek.
From across the room, Tweek wasn't paying attention to how increasingly bothered Craig was getting, but rather, his focus was set on the torn paper clutched in his hands. He had a strange feeling in his stomach with the more he read, even more so upon reading the line about Craig's father being his own bully.
This letter was something Tweek could never fathom Craig writing himself, even if he was only a young boy at the time. It was something personal, something emotional, something Tweek wanted to keep ahold of to read again later on.
He'd been mid way through reading the final sentence when Craig couldn't take it anymore, practically charging towards the blonde to snatch the letter away. Suddenly his anger had been replaced with embarrassment, and for now that was all he could feel as he mentally cursed himself out for being so stupid.
Despite his quick moves, Tweek's reflexes were faster, giving him the advantage to protectively hide the letter behind his back. He needed to finish it, and he couldn't let Craig take it away before he had.
The goal to finish reading it was becoming increasingly hard when Craig pulled at Tweek's arm and held it hostage as he demanded the letter back. Though Tweek continued to resist, going as far to sink to the floor with the paper tightly clutched in his hand as he tugged his other one free.
He had a few seconds to scan the area, and after seeing a relatively small opening under Craig's littered bed, he went for it. Still standing, Craig furrowed his brows as he watched Tweek disappear under the bed, though before the final leg could slither away, Craig grabbed ahold of it and pulled his friend back into view.
From under the bed, Tweek squeaked in surprised as he held onto whatever he could, but Craig won this round and within a matter of seconds, he was being dragged out to awkwardly stare upward.
Their eyes met for a split second before Craig noticed the paper in Tweek's hand, and in that moment, all he saw was what he wanted. He sat on Tweek, pinning him to the floor as he grabbed ahold of the hand with the paper in, though no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't peel Tweek's fingers open.
The blonde struggled from underneath Craig's weight, and despite repeatedly trying to knock him off, he failed to do so. His clothes were still wet from before, which was making him even more uncomfortable, but still, he refused to give up until he'd finished reading that last sentence.
Unintelligent grumbles and curses filled the space between them as they scrapped it out, and panic rose through Tweek's veins as Craig successfully peeled his third finger from the paper. He looked up as Craig concentrated on their hands with his lips pressed tightly together, and for a split second he thought about what younger Craig had wrote about once liking him.
He wanted Craig to like him again.
In the moment when his thoughts collided together into one huge mess, and Craig became closer to retrieving his letter, Tweek breathed deeply, with his eyes locked onto the person he cared for the most in this world. He thought about the frozen pond again, and the more he pictured how that memory would've ended had he being able to remember it, he smiled to himself before harshly kneeing Craig and catching him by surprise.
A window of opportunity opened and Tweek immediately took it, shoving Craig off him before quickly scrambling to his feet. He rushed over to the other side of the bed, using it as a barrier between him and a quickly recovering Craig, as he uncrumpled the letter to finally finish reading it.
Once he had, he looked back over, noticing Craig was yet to get up. He hesitantly crawled over the bed and peered down to see his friend laying on his back as he looked up to the cracked ceiling in silence.
"Craig?"
But Craig refused to answer, he just continued to blankly stare into space while Tweek's hair obscured half of his view.
"Why did you write this?" Tweek quietly asked, carefully watching Craig. "When did you write it?"
He sighed when he realised he wasn't going to get an answer anytime soon. He didn't want to annoy Craig, but then again, he was the one who forced Tweek to come here. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, or rather, needed to ask. Watching Craig's chest evenly rise and fall, Tweek found it rather relaxing, and so, he crawled off the bed and laid down beside his friend.
He noticed Craig tense slightly beside him, but as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, he didn't all that mind. The two of them laid side by side, on the old carpet of Craig's bedroom floor with nothing but an empty silence to fill the room.
They'd stayed like that for maybe five minutes before Tweek heard Craig swallow next to him. "My dad's a massive homophobe." He confessed.
Tweek gently nodded his head, though he doubted Craig noticed. "Does he know about you?"
Again, Craig ignored his question, something which would usually have annoyed Tweek, only in this moment, he was content with waiting. "He's just such an angry guy, y'know?" Craig mumbled, still staring the ceiling. "I remember always being so terrified around him when I was a kid. You're not supposed to feel like that around your own dad."
"That's awful." Tweek says, almost inaudible.
"Yeah." Craig laughed, though it wasn't a happy laugh. "I'm glad he's gone."
"Will he come back?"
"No, not this time."
"You said you liked me." Tweek said after a moment of silence.
"What?"
"In the letter." Tweek clarified. "You said you liked me."
"Shut up."
"Did you?"
"I don't know," Craig frustratedly sighed. "I was young and easily swayed."
After sitting up, Tweek looked back to Craig with a pleading look. "I want you to like me." He whispered his confession, but Craig looked away. It hurt. Not being liked back by the only person you could imagine ever liking, it fucking hurt. It was like a knife twisting inside his stomach, and he couldn't imagine how much worse he'd feel once his memories returned.
He could feel his eyes stinging as he quietly watched Craig, and his throat felt incredibly tight.
"I read that dumb letter so many times over the years." Craig uttered. He could feel Tweek's eyes on him, but he refused to return the stare as he swallowed. "It was almost like I was purposely setting myself up. I think the first time was about a month after my self proclaimed reconditioning, I'd had a bad day and ended up spending the entire night reading it over."
Tweek folded his legs as he listened with watery eyes.
"I started reading it less as I got older, then eventually, I forgot about it completely."
"What made you remember it?" Tweek sniffed, with the sadness in his voice making Craig feel nauseous.
"It was something you said about admitting it." Craig says. "Ruby said something similar the night I wrote the letter."
Tweek hadn't recognised the girls name, but he was too exhausted to ask. He just wanted to curl up in bed and hide away from Craig, to hide away from the world until it started making sense. He wasn't sure if it would ever make sense. "Somethings never change, I guess."
The dig made Craig lift his head up to scowl over at Tweek, but once he saw how hurt the blonde looked, he frowned. He'd never imagined seven and a half years ago when he'd picked up that pencil, he was going to be the leading cause of his best friends hurting. He was trying to protect the both of them, not be the reason why Tweek's eyes were bloodshot.
He glanced over to where Tweek had left the letter on the carpet and picked it up. The handwriting made him want to laugh, though he refrained from doing so. His eyes flickered over the words, bringing a sense of familiarity to his unfocused mind. He remembered so clearly how he'd cried himself to sleep that night, and he wondered whether Tweek had ever done so, too. He hoped he hadn't.
It was when his eyes laid upon the line saying 'sometimes when I stare at nothing, time goes by faster. It's like I have the power to speed up time, which is sometimes pretty cool, but Mr Macky tells me it's not healthy', that he realised his counsellor had being right all along. It wasn't healthy, for not only himself, but also the people around him. In doing so, he'd caused so much suffering for someone he'd never want to suffer, and he hated himself for that.
Glancing over to Tweek, who was anxiously chewing on his nails as he stared back, Craig realised he didn't want to hurt him anymore. He realised he'd have to stop staring at nothing to purposely dissociate from reality, and rather, he had to finally face the truth, once and for all.