(A/N: Holy flip flappity crapola a legit chapter for once in my life. Whoa.
Speaking of chapters, have a Valentine's Day special! Okay just kidding it's not actually Valentine's Day themed but you get what I mean.
So I hope those that are lucky enough to have a special someone enjoy this day-it's the one day where you have an excuse to be cute and cheesy in front of your friends, don't forget to cherish it!
If not, don't you dare worry about not finding anyone at the moment! You're an awesome person and your equally awesome soulmate needs to get their butt over to you right away because you deserve it. Just you wait.
But even if you're not up to that kind of love, that's perfectly fine, too! As I have mentioned before, in the words of France, "Love comes in all different kinds of forms." Whether it's romantic feelings that one feels for another person, platonic love toward family or friends, just know that there's two things that'll always be there.
Food and the Internet. Two of the greatest lovers out there, tbh.
Again, I wish you all an amazing Valentine's Day. Thanks and I hope you enjoy~!
~AJ)
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"Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now."
-Eliza Schuyler 'Hamilton'
"Because when we stop and look around this life is pretty amazing."
-Unknown
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|Reader's POV|
"...Hm."
Without even thinking, I pressed a hand to my chest, surprised to not find it beating rapidly for once in life. It felt great to not swiftly pull myself upright, sweating profusely with my heart racing, jolting awake from a nightmare. I haven't woken up so peacefully like this in what felt like such a long time.
Wow. That's kind of sad when you think about it.
"We're back, Italy..." Japan's distant, calm words flooded into my eardrums.
"Oh, you're back. Hello, er...Japan!"
"Italy...Thank God...You seem to be doing a little better. As does your memory."
I smiled softly and arose, heading to their faint voices. "Yeah. Sorry for all the trouble. I still don't remember everything, but...things are falling into place. I talked a lot with my brother...so I've started to remember things little by little."
"Oh, you're back!" China turned his head, a stack of plates in his hands. "The food will be ready in a moment, so you can sit down and wait." He rushed off to the table, in my direction. Once he spotted me, he balanced the plates in his single palm and gave me a beam while tousling my hair. "Good morning, (Name). Are you hungry?"
I playfully batted his hand from my head, but I was secretly grateful to see him back to normal. "Um, well, I kinda just woke up so-"
China smacked his lips together and waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, ah, don't say a thing. You're hungry. You need to eat. You look as thin as a noodle!"
I snickered under my breath, bobbing my head. Definitely the mom friend of the group. "Okay, I guess I will."
"Yeah, sure."
"Italy, do you have a minute?" Japan's eyes traveled to mine and he waved a little. "Sorry to bother you so early, but could you come along with us, too?"
I nodded, following Japan and Italy to the corner of the room nearest to the bathroom, around all of the random crates. He fished out an envelope and handed it to Italy.
"You see, I have been holding on to a letter addressed to you." He explained. "Read it out loud, please."
"For me?" Italy inquired.
"Yes." Japan's eyebrows furrowed and his frown deepened. "Do you remember what happened in this mansion?"
Even if the question wasn't being addressed to me, I found myself flinching. I unconsciously gripped my wrist, the memory of my conversation with Holy Rome echoing in my head.
"You were so drowned with negative emotions that you signed a contract pledging allegiance to the Oni. That was the day you became a slave to the monster of the mansion."
He whipped around: blonde hair swirls of yellow flame, blue eyes blazing like a scorching sky consumed with dust clouds of hope and doubt, a painstakingly accurate representation of the fiery whiplash of broken promises and shattered love.
"...Love is a compelling force."
"...Yes, about half of it, I guess." Italy brought me back to reality. "But I'm still a little scared..." I could almost feel the hesitation and panic rising in his voice from the rattling of the paper between his quaking fingers.
"But...why Italy specifically?"
I brushed my fingers along his knuckles, which were going white as his other hand was grasping his journal all too tightly. For some reason, out of all of the other countries, I had a much more intense feeling of protectiveness over Italy.
"Let's just say...we're old friends."
I reassuringly squeezed the top of his hand, lifting my chin and breathing out the words I never thought I would be able to say,
"Sometimes I can be a little scared, too."
Italy's wide, amber eyes glowed with this relentless, ebony darkness that I know would never escape him. And for a split second...from his shadow...I thought I could've sworn I saw Luciano's magenta eyes sticking prominently from within the abyss of black...
Then Italy tilted his head and grinned-a brilliantly sparkling sword that he used as a weapon against fear.
"Yes, I'm aware of that. We're all human, after all, I suppose!" He chuckled and averted his gaze from mine, staring at the ground. "Knowing that, I'll read it. Even if I'm afraid...of what I'll remember..."
"All the more reason for you to read it." Japan said. "I haven't read it myself, but I'm sure you'll find it helpful."
"To the me who lives at some point in time...and who isn't alone-"
To the me who lives at some point in time and who isn't alone.
Once again, I made some mistakes, and also some progress. Meanwhile, I finally, but slowly, began to learn to rely on my friends. I was constantly afraid that everyone would blame me for dragging them into this, and that they would hate me, or be appalled at me, or get mad at me, and leave me...
I glanced up and held my breath. The look in Japan's eyes was unbearable. The guilt, remorse, regret-it all began to unfold and become exposed to the limelight of my very own eyes.
But then I was told that I had the wrong idea.
My grasp met my mouth and my fingertips dug into my cheeks to keep from speaking, sobbing, or whatever kind of emotion that so desperatelywanted to be free from my lips.
They were very mad at me. It hurt so much. Not that they hit me, but it really hurt.
I choked out a shaky exhale. All I wanted to do was cry out, yell at the top of my lungs that I understood that the greatest pain derives from the heart rather than the body.
I finally figured it out, but I can't pass this memory on to my next self. Unfortunately, I'll lose my life yet again. That's why I'm writing a letter. Say thanks to England. And tell them the truth. I'm sure they'll get mad, but it's not that they hate you or think you're a pain.
Why didn't you rely on your friends sooner? What are your friends for? That's what they told me, and that's what they're going to tell you, too. I'm sure I'll cry. And then...and then...
Blotches of teardrops stained the letter. Now they fell on my head, dampening my hair. I collapsed into his open arms. I wasn't even offended that he didn't hug back, for he was still shocked by the letter.
"I'm sorry."
"F-For what?"
"That you weren't able to look around and see all of the people that cared about you...
Before they disappeared."
Italy didn't say anything after that. His soft sobs brought a great deal of sorrow to me, and I couldn't help but submerge myself with the same feeling of sadness. That letter had nothing to do with me, yet I felt that I shared similar emotions, similar problems.
Soon enough, there were footsteps and voices. The exchange of reassuring words were made, the warmth of affection was spread quickly like an epidemic.
The countries can be a chaotic mess of past disagreements and unspoken conflicts...but bonding moments like these re-establish my unwavering faith in their goal to escape from the mansion.
Speaking of bonding...
"And that's basically what happened." I had just finished explaining to everyone what that little mental breakdown was about.
"Whoa, that sounds like a really depressing letter." Prussia whistled as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, giving a grin. "But thanks for taking care of Ita, frau."
"Of course." I dipped my head a little before standing up. I looked around the dinner table with a nod. "I'm going to go and check on him, actually." I spoke before walking off. As I approached Italy and Japan, I listened in to their conversation.
"Italy."
"What?"
"I've been thinking all this time, wondering what we're going to do now...What do you want to do?"
"Er...investigate some place, or..."
"No, no, I meant once we get out of here."
Once I reached the two, I came to a halt, my eyebrows narrowing. That reminds me...what would I do once we got out of the mansion? Without the knowledge of who I was before I ventured into the mansion, that should've made it easier for me to start a new life, but it was next to impossible for me to think of something.
As Italy pondered the question, Japan glanced my way and repeated his question to me. "What about you, (Name)?"
I gulped nervously and shrugged. "I-I...I don't...really know." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "I don't remember any of my memories before I found the Oni mansion. Plus even if I were to look for any relatives, I don't know how much time has passed, and...it's all just confusing, you know?"
"Well, don't you worry about that, dudette!" America popped up beside Japan with a beam plastered on his lips. "You could always stick around with us if you have nowhere else to go."
"Ja, we're your awesome friends, after all!"
I laughed softly, giving the duo grateful smiles. Japan cleared his throat and stepped forward, away from being sandwiched between the two loud voices belonging to Prussia and America. "I've talked about this with Russia, about how we should have a party at my house or something like that."
"At your house?" Italy said. "That sounds like fun!"
The others were starting to crowd around us now and I awkwardly rubbed my forearm, feeling slightly out of place. They all knew each other quite well and I couldn't help but wonder if I was intruding or something, or just being a bother. I considered slipping away, vanishing from the conversation-
I jumped a little when Italy placed a hand on my shoulder. I curiously looked up at him, seeing his brightly smiling face inches from mine. "You're invited, too, bella!"
"...Really? Are...you sure?"
"It's no doubt that you are." Japan stated matter-of-factly.
"You've done so much to help us. We've never would've made it this far without you." Germany proclaimed without hesitation. He then tilted his head in a respectful manner to express his thanks. "Danke."
I gave a small sigh as if a nonexistent weight had been lifted off my chest. "Thank you." Before it got too sentimental, I nodded excitedly and clapped my hands together. "So, the party! What time should it be?"
"I also have to work till late, so everyone should arrive late at night. I'm sure we'd all be tired, so I think we should sleep soon afterwards on that day." Japan paused before adding. "I have a kitchen garden. I could get up earlier than usual the following morning and go there to pick vegetables."
"Hey! That's a nice idea! I'll try to get up early and help you, too!" America suggested.
Japan chuckled. "Thank you. When we come back from the garden, we will make breakfast."
"That's my cue!" China appeared beside me holding a butcher knife.
I stiffened, holding back a gasp. He quickly dropped his arm back to his side, smiling apologetically. "Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help but overhear the conversation from the kitchen. I was cutting some vegetables. Anyway, America can wake up those who are still sleeping!"
"Ohh, I could help America with that." I smirked. America read my mind, winking playfully. I pulled his sleeve and once he leaned down, I whispered, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Drawing dicks, cat whiskers-"
"And lenny faces on everyone's faces while they're sleeping in sharpie?"
Two cheshire cat grins widened at the mere thought of it. I burst out giggling as I received an epic high five from America.
"Yes. And then...well...maybe we could all go out somewhere?"
"Let's go to the-whatcha call it-the amusement park or something!"
"Well, I suppose I can refrain from hitting on everyone at least for that occasion." France remarked with a stroke of his chin.
"Pfft." I heard England mutter a solid roast under his breath, "The only thing that Frog could hit on is his pitiful reflection in the mirror."
I wheezed, leaning into Canada's arm for support, which I found was shaking as he attempted to suppress his laughter.
"I'm sure a day or two won't be enough. Oh, yes, we could go shopping."
Coughing into my fist, I muttered, "Hot Topic..."
I stopped when Japan visibly flinched. I looked him dead in the eye. "Anime merch?"
"...U-Um, maybe-"
"Yes! I suppose I'll take a look at the suits!"
As Russia passed by on his way to the kitchen, he joined our little circle and chimed in, "I want some clothes to wear while I'm at Japan's place. What was it called, again? Yukata?" He paused and the sparkle in his eyes made my lips widen into a smile. "Let's all buy one!"
"I can hardly wait." Japan marveled dreamily. "And when we go back to my house, we'll all have a banquet."
"With a lot of food from all over the world! Let's see, what should I make...?" Canada wondered while he hummed to himself.
Of course, Italy said, "Um, well, I'll...make...pasta and pizza..."
"I'll contribute with beer and wurst."
"I guess I'll just be in the background stuffing food into my mouth." I winked and threw in some jazz hands, to which the countries responded with chuckles. Huh, weird, though. It wasn't a joke-
"And then we'll all sleep together in a huddle!" Spain exclaimed happily.
"Then I'll lay out the futons in the other room." Japan gave a nod. "You can go to sleep whenever you like."
I couldn't help but find my edgy mind thinking,'I've been training my whole life for this moment. Pulling an all nighter without wanting to die the morning after.'
"Sounds interesting. Hmm...what should we bring as a gift?" Romano tapped his chin and stole a glance toward his brother. "Maybe we should send it beforehand, don't you think, Veneziano?"
"Yeah! We'll bring the best ingredients-lots of them!"
"I'll bring the beer."
'This actual alcoholic-'
"It'll be fun. Really fun. That's why, Italy..." When Japan began his sentence, I swear the entire room stiffened.
Especially Italy. He shuffled around, his eyebrows pressing together. "Yeah?"
"That's why we all have to escape. With everyone who is here, without losing a single person."
Silence.
I stepped forward, smoothly sliding between Italy and Japan. I was well aware that Japan had not chosen the best words to use-for it seemed to have triggered a bad memory of some sort in Italy's head-so what better way to banish sadness than with humor? If no one is gonna try to lighten the atmosphere, then I guess it's up to me.
I grinned brightly as I looped each of my arms around one of theirs, putting on the most animated voice I could muster at the moment. "Whoa, whoa. It's way too early for deep stuff like that, Japan. Come on, we just talked about something fun!" I playfully bumped my fist into Italy's chest. "Just remember that you have something to look forward to. That's all that matters."
I had never seen so much relief in one person's eyes. "...Yeah." Italy voiced out quietly.
"Says the girl who almost died for me."
Shade. Literal shade from Prussia are you ki-
I turned around to be met by Prussia's finger, which flicked me on the forehead. After murmuring a soft 'ouch', the albino just pouted, his expression free from remorse.
"Don't...don't ever scare me like that again, j-ja?"
Shock jolted down my spine as Prussia's bottom lip trembled. My breathing became shallow when I started to resist that reoccurring feeling like I wanted to cry-the birth of a raging storm rumbling threateningly at the back of my throat.
Romano's stable, reassuring grip on my shoulder brought me back to reality. "You go on telling us that we should take care of ourselves, but remember to do so for yourself as well." He confidently stared straight ahead when he said this. However, when I shifted my eyes to look at him, all I caught was a glimpse of a red face before he quickly turned away. "Or wh-whatever..."
"You're invited to our party, too, little devushka!" Russia spoke up. "It wouldn't be a proper party if even a single one of us wasn't there."
"Yeah, you're our friend now, (Name)." Canada contagious smile found my gaze.
"So we all have got to get through this." Germany concluded with utter certainty. The blonde moved his blue eyes to the brunette with the letter still in his hand.
"Together.
Learn from the past, live in the present, believe in the future."
And what was originally me trying to comfort Italy, became the nations themselves restoring the faith that had been almost lost to the darkness.
I'm sure I'll cry. And then...and then...Look around yourself.
"Italy? Why are you looking down? Do you still feel unwell?"
"No, I'm fine. There's something I...want to tell you-"
Our heads lifted simultaneously. A muffled ringtone.
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(Hello, hello again, PLEASE stick around if you could. Just a few brief stuff that I need to clear up:
-I don't think I'll be getting around to doing those What Ifs. Perhaps in the future, but right now, I just came into a really bad writer's block trying to get it done. So if you read A/N 8, sorry for the confusion. I guess I'll publish it whenever I have the inspiration to do it.
-I made a little journal!! Pleaseee, go and check it out, there I'm going to put publishing oneshots/short stories, art (even though it's kinda crappy whoops-), updates (regarding things like my stories), and lots of other stuff. I'd really, really appreciate if you could give it a try. Thank you very much.
Okie, byeee~)