Chapter 73
Though I was upset, I was at least excited that I had the chance to see Francis before I leave. I hoped he was conscious - I would feel much better apologizing to him if he was actually up and listening. Yet, if he is up, that would also make it harder with knowing that this will be the last time I see him for maybe a year. I needed to make it count. And I could already hear his teasing voice in my head making fun of my hair. It would be wonderful to hear him tease like that but considering the situation, I highly doubted that would happen.
At the moment though, we were driving in a car. With both agents in the front and Jackson and I in the back. I had Jack sitting in my lap with me as I ran my fingers through his fur. My soft pup... resting his head on my thigh. And as I pet him, I was staring out the window silently and into the evening world. I stared at the trees flying by and thinking of Francis, the evening sky casting through, I let my mind wander deeper. I was feeling quite anxious knowing I was going to see Francis. Not just because I was relieved to be able to say I was sorry. But anxious too for what Jackson and I started discussing not a second later....
"I will be right outside the door and will be able to hear every word; keep that in mind if you plan on giving him any information," he said with a hard voice. Glancing over to him, he was staring out the window - like I wasn't worth his time to look. Lips flat, eyes bored, he blankly went on. "You go in, say what you need to, and don't bring up anything relevant to this situation. Got it?" he said, finally looking over to me.
I rolled my eyes and groaned; you guys have no idea how happy leaving a 'message' would have made me. I thought about it and felt like I needed to. But I also understood Jackson's stance. If Luke finds out where I am, before I am gone, that could mean Reid could find out. The FBI noted eavesdropping was a favorite method of Reid's so if news reached Luke that I was leaving now, they would be on it. They would also be on it if he knew I was going into witness protection. And especially if Luke was told where, you can bet Reid or his men would go there and thoroughly try to find me. Keeping Luke in the dark kept Reid there too. That's why we at least wanted to wait a while until we are gone and some vague info is released - but enough to maybe put Luke at ease.
"Yeah, I got it," I sighed, looking back out the window and instead of the trees... I saw my terrible reflection. I mean, Jesus Christ - strawberry blonde, straight, and short. It made me feel gross because it wasn't me. It also allowed my interest to rise in what a certain tightass next to me would experience going through this. After all, Jackson was now suppose to be my 'uncle.' That had to mean he was going into hiding too right? I looked over to Jackson, my eyes narrowed slightly more. "Hey, why didn't they have to change your hair? Your name and all your information like they are doing for me?" I asked him.
His gaze searched mine and he offered an amusing smirk, as if gloating he didn't have to do all that shit. "First of all, unlike you, I don't stand out. I have brown hair, brown eyes, and I am not an infamous girl that everybody knows about. Nobody knows about me - which is what my job requires of me. And second, I have taken on several cases, and all under my real name. I don't need to change it because there is no reason. People, the system, they will believe my name. Also like your looks, your name sticks out. Who the hell is named Albany? Nobody is - because it's a retarded name and it makes you stick out. Jackson isn't as common but common enough for someone like me. Of course, even though I get to keep my name, they change some of my background. They go in, erase it, and write me another history. And for this case, one thing that will be difference is that I am going to be your uncle for example."
I shook my head. That was it? He gets to keep his name, looks, and only has his background information changed? "That is a crock of shit, dude," I said, shaking my head as I pursed my lips and looked back out the window. "Just because you don't need to change your looks, you should have to. You should get a green Afro - maybe then you would be 1% more liked by me," I said, in no mood.
"You are so funny," he said in sarcasm and annoyance, and from my side vision, I saw him look back out the window.
***
By the time I stepped foot into the hospital, I was out of wise cracks for Jackson with each comment he had. But when I say 'stepped' I mean more like escorted in from the back by my trusted agents and this... Jackson Honeywell who I had no clue how to feel about still. Especially that I would be spending a year with him in my life. But either way, thoughts like that were wiped out of my head. What was there were the worries I felt about facing Francis right now. Whether he would be up, okay, the small chance he would be able to walk, and even more so, how I would apologize. My heart was beating fast in knowing I needed to face that I did this to him and needed to own up to it. And what made it much harder would be knowing I will be leaving. I would feel like I'm abandoning him too.
It was the faster trip up an elevator and down numerous halls. Too fast and not enough time to think by the time we were getting closer to his room. Because we checked beforehand with the hospital if he had any visitors at the moment; when we heard that his mother headed home for a few hours, we didn't hesitate. So with Jan gone, and Luke still interrogating the sheriff, we were in the clear. Jackson, Moore, and I headed up closer to Francis's room as Agent Ryder decided to play nice with me and go sit back in the car to watch my dog at seeing no sign of danger.
I started towards the closed door of Francis's room. Swallowing, nervous above all, and a wave of sadness started to set in even more. But before I could even go in though, I felt Jackson grip me tightly and yank me back slightly, turning me to face him in the process. And at that feeling... I mean, you could really see he wasn't just a pain through his personality. Because damn, he was rough! Especially when I saw it was only to remind me of something.
His eyes found mine as he stared down at me. And like before, they filled with a light, even if it was light surrounded with his usual negative attitude. "Remember, I am right here. Listening. So if you tell him anything, and blow your own cover, it will be your own fault when you end up dead. Understood?"
I sighed and shook away his grip. "Yes. I got it. I am not stupid; I wouldn't tell him what is going on." Of course, I could maybe just whisper to Francis that I would be okay and to deliver that message to Luke. Just so he wouuldn't worry at the very least.... Plus, that wouldn't be blowing my cover.
It became a fascinating idea... one that I wouldn't see the harm in if I just let him know one little thing - that I would be okay and will be back. It was something that would float in the back of my head the whole time....
He sighed and gave a final nod before letting my arm go and nodding towards the door. Only a few feet away now before his gaze found mine again. "Go. Don't make it too long either," he added as I began walking towards the door again. And this time, when I got to it, I took a deep breath. A deep... soothing breath. One I let reinforce my nerves as I grasped the handle and opened the door, going inside as I left it ajar just barely as Jackson wanted.
Stepping in, there was just silence. Pure silence with no TV on, which was nice and calming really. However, I was cautious as I walked in and went slow, trying to prepare myself in case he was sleeping. In case he was awake, in case someone was here with him, in case he was in a wheelchair for all I knew! But when I was more in the room and took it all in, I found out which 'in case' it was.
It was as I remembered the room. A long window on the far wall and to the left was the hospital bed. Beside it were tables - one with bright orange and yellow flowers, which was lit up by the glaring sun shinning through the windows. Cards were in front of the flowers too on the wooden thin table, open and propped to see. Even worse in my case was the reminder of his daughter, Brooke, which came from what else I saw on that table. It was a colorful looking drawing that made my heart wrench - of her and her daddy holding hands, both represented in blue stick form.
On a table/tray just beside the bed and in reach were a few small cups of something to drink along with some newspaper or a crossword game. I couldn't say. At this point, my eyes and my attention only rested on the man laying there in that bed. And his eyes that were open, red and worn, resting in mine when he glanced over to see who entered his room.
I stopped in my tracks. My eyes found Francis as I took him in. His figure outlined under the covers in the bed up to his waist where the covers stopped; he was slightly propped up with the incline of the bed. I noticed his arms supported tubes and needles connected to the monitors and fluids on his right. When I took in his face, his expression, it was a bite harder to describe. I didn't know what to think. First of all that he was up. The sun that was casting in found his features and highlighted his paleness. It also highlighted his eyes. That nice hazel behind those frames. Which was tainted in spirit and tainted with the sign of old tears he shed hours ago. They widened the moment they met my eyes and he took me in, eyes searching, and lips slowly parting in surprise. However... what caught my attention the most was what else I noticed.
Francis was laying in bed, just slightly propped by a raised bed. But I noticed something that made my chest jump - and that was the brace that was on him.
His covers were pushed off him for the most part so I had a good look at it. It was a large white and plastic vest that was wrapped around his torso, waist, and moved up around him until it reached his mid chest where it stopped. But even more disturbing... was that at the top of that brace, at where it ended on his chest, there was a black bar that moved up further and supported a crescent shape plastic hold - for his chin! So he couldn't move his head, neck, or torso! It hurt... it hurt badly to see that.
"Albany," he said, raising his eyebrows. He said no more, just taking me in with his strained eyes... which might have been because he couldn't have even moved his head or body to look at me in my direction! God... calm, calm, take it in, you just got here.... I took another deep breath. I would need it. And with that, I stepped closer and gradually made my way up to the side of his bed, staring down to where he was propped and held by that brace. It made me see just how bad of a condition he was in up close and with the detail of that brace and his paleness.
"Hi," I said in a soft cracked voice, swallowing as I took him in. Pursing my lips before biting down on the bottom one, I didn't know where to start - or how to begin to express how sorry I really was. Before I could say anything though, he didn't give me a chance. Francis spoke to me an awed yet groggy voice.
"What did you do to your hair?" he asked.
I cracked a small smile, no matter how hurt I was to see him bound in that brace and hurt. "That's seriously the first topic of discussion? My hair?"
"It's different," he added, smiling softly and it was such a nice sight to see. I was happy to see my friend and his true self, even if just for that moment - and even if in such a brain torturing brace. I had a feeling he was putting on a brave face for me though. "Did you lose a bet or something?" he asked, light slowly filtering back into his eyes with warmth. Yet it was still so very clear how upset he was at the same time. I could only assume because he just woke up today and was forced to face the facts and let everything sink in.
I scoffed, lowering my eyebrows. I looked down to the bed and the edge of it, which was enough room to sit. I only assumed it was okay; he was in a brace anyway. Sighing with my eyes down, I sat down next to his thighs and where he was slightly propped but in a straight form. Closer to him... I peered down to his eyes. "Is it really that bad?" I asked, trying to not remind him of his condition with a gloomy expression.
"No. It is just different. You will always be beautiful," he said to me nonchalantly; it's not often he gave out complements like that and actually meant it. It honestly was hard to hear that; to hear him speak to me so sweetly and so genuinely. I would have much rather dealt him him upset at me or even him being sarcastic the whole time. It would make me feel less guilty but to hear him be so... open and nice, it bothered me. Because I knew I didn't deserve it from him.
Looking down, I shook my head slowly. I knew that since he woke up, he had to have gotten some news from the doctor. Especially with the brace surrounding him; it was clear something solid was established about what his future could be. I could only hope that news didn't contribute to what looked to be teary eyes with that brace. He was too good of a person... he didn't deserve this. But I needed to know. "So... did the doctors tell you anything?"
I watched him carefully. And doing so, I knew that observing wasn't worth it. Because I watched in pain when his eyes dimmed in mine. They lost hope from what I brought up. It tormented me. "Yeah. Yeah they did," he said quietly.
I cringed at his words, his tone. "And...?"
He let out a defeated sigh with a swallow that was thick. His eyes slowly moved up and numbly found mine again. "They told me that the damage done to my central nervous system was... was very, um, serious," he trailed off. I noticed his eyes were stressed and appeared to have wanted to release more tears as he spoke. "They said that the bullet did a lot of damage. As you can see," he said indicating the brace with a wave of his hand, the rest of him still stiff and not moving. "My spinal cord took a massive hit and all that jazz," he scoffed. He clearly didn't want to recap this. "They said there was some chance of recovery though. But until that point, I would most likely be paralyzed from the waist down. They did say I was lucky with the ability my arms had to move since it's all connected."
You are a true plague. You really are I heard myself say to myself.
Brooke wouldn't be able to play with her father, woulnd't be able to even fuction as she had before since her dad was such a huge part of her rutien and how she lived and moved.... Would he even be able to drive? I didn't know and honestly, even if he could, would that have helped my pain or his? I ruined his life; I really did if what he mentioned about recovery didn't come through. Lost feeling, was paralyzed... and it could be for his whole life. From now to the end of his fucking life and it would be because of me. I just shook my head and tried not letting that get to my head because he said there was a chance at recovery; it was just hard to accept anything and feel blessed about it because it was so terrible. How do you process that this happened? Fuck, how the hell was he processing it?
"You will go for rehabilitation right? As soon as possible?" I asked; I needed some hope - which he granted me.
"Yes. Apparently, it's already been set up. And since I'm loaded, I am praying for the top institutions for help. I have faith I will walk again and will be okay," he said. "It will just... take a very long time."
His eyes were too easy on mine and I hated it. Did he not blame me for all this? I sure as hell would. Even if he gets recovery, which would be more than amazing, I was still taking away something precious from him. Time and fun he could be spending with his daughter and living his life. I wasn't going to dwell too much on that for much longer though. I had faith in his faith. But more than anything, I needed him to know... just how sorry I was. I knew that this wouldn't be easy and it wasn't - and I didn't even get to the apologizing part! But his brace, his unmoved state, and the picture his daughter drew him with those flowers were enough to tell me how much I really screwed him over.
But I needed to handle and deal with that guilt later; he didn't need that burden. I was here because he deserved more than me crying over what I did. He deserved me giving him my support and hand and a very true apology - about him and about what I did to him.
"Listen," I said calmly, quietly. I needed him to know he didn't have to be strong for me. Because though he was being brave with me and not drowning in his grief, I could see that's all he could do before I showed up. I spoke evenly and calmly. "You don't have to pretend to be okay. Or that you aren't mad or despise me. I am not being dramatic, seeking some sympathy - so don't think that. I just want you to be open and honest with me. So... I understand if you don't want me here," I said in a respectful voice, willing to accept his true feelings about this.
His hazel eyes sparkled in mine and he actually offered me a slow smile, a sad one, a true one. Francis took a deep breath and I noticed he rolled his eyes at me even. Sad and a knowing smile of pain. And that's what I wanted to see; I didn't want him hiding especially when I deserved the full impact of his emotions.
I also felt something I didn't expect from him - and that was when his frail looking hand reached up and rested on my arm. Soothingly, in comfort, and in reassurance. It was nice to feel his comfort and nice to see that he could at least move his fucking arms. I then looked back up to his eyes through those thick glasses he was wearing. He finally spoke up.
"I'm not okay. I am not okay, I just am not. I will tell you that straight up, nobody in their right mind would be okay. But... how on Earth could I despise you? Why would I?" he asked in a quicker voice, not understanding but also looking... rather swept up in, I don't know, what looked like awe and a sweet amusement. Which didn't make much sense but should I have been surprised? He wasn't the kind of guy that wouldn't forgive me even if he shouldn't. He probably saw the fault only lying on the man that shot him and maybe himself.
Clearing my throat, I searched his eyes as I told him the easiest and very true answer that he needed to realize. "You should despise me because I am the one that got you shot. It's my fault. Plain and simple," I told him carefully, knowing surely he would see that. And of course, he didn't.
He laughed gently and I felt his hand move down my arm and rest on my hand that was propping me slightly against the bed. Turned and facing him from where I was sitting, I felt the warmth in that grasp and the comfort his eyes were trying to inflict. But I did see that he knew where I was coming from. "Look, I chose to be there for you. It is my fault," he said slowly. "You and Luke both warned me enough times to stop, stay away, that I shouldn't have done this. From the start, you both tried protecting me. But like I told you before... I needed to help. I needed to get involved for my own personal search for making up all I have done," he said, sighing and frowning, his eyes showing more and more those signs of mist. "It's my fault; I did this to myself. And I will accept that. Brooke will some day have to accept that I was selfish enough to jeopardize my life with her," he said, voice cracking.
I shook my head, sighing. How could he think something like that? "You were just trying to be a good person; it's not your fault. It's mine," I said, laughing humorlessly. "I put you here in return for you saving my life," I nodded.
"Your life was worth this."
I sighed. What could I do? What could I say to make this better? I couldn't say anything really. I could only hope he actually does recover and recovers fully and hopefully soon. I just didn't want to think that this would stay with him forever. Swallowing, I moved closer to him on the edge of the bed until I was sitting near his waist, staring in his hazy eyes. "I learned something," I said to him in a sincere voice; what I had to say was very true and deserved total sincerity. "That, even though it's my fault and you don't think so, it really doesn't matter. Because in the end, the result is the same. You are hurt, you were shot, you could be potentially paralyzed for life. And I am sorry. I need you to hear that I am sorry and there is no making up for it. I know I deserve to feel this way after what happened. I just need you to know how I wish it was me and not you because you didn't deserve this. And I am sorry," I said, voice breaking. "So please don't try to make me take it back or not believe that. Because I do. I'm so sorry," I said, resting my free hand delicately on his arm now.
I watched him observe me carefully, search my eyes with his stiff body. Lashes bashing down over that gentle hazel color... I watched him not hide anything. He bit his lip and I could see how much he didn't want to accept that; he wanted to try to tell me again that it was't my fault. But he let it settle and let me have peace in him knowing I knew I was responsible. "Okay," he said softly. "Okay. Fair enough; either way, I don't despise you; I still want you around." He smiled. And that smile... was testing as he eyed up my hair. It made my heart jump in wonder.... Did he know something was up? He trailed off with that and I watched him carefully, his eyes looking my face and expression over.
We sat there for a long moment. With him just... watching me carefully. With a sweetness. But... it was slowly fading as he just kept looking at me. To a reality he was figuring out without my help. It made my stomach turn in knots when he whispered to me softly, almost in worry and disappointment, his next words. "So... where are you leaving to now? Is this another case of needing to runaway?" he asked.
Shit.... How did he know and know out of nowhere?! His words shocked me, made my body tingle in surprise and it wasn't a good feeling. Especially with not expecting him to say that and not knowing what to say! Great, now what the hell should I say? I didn't know - especially with how strict the FBI and Jackson were about this. I was surprised Jackson didn't come stomping in the second after Francis stopped speaking; he must have heard after all.
"Um..." What do I say? "What are you talking about?" I pretended to scoff and shook my head, lowering my eyebrows in 'confusion' too.
He rolled his eyes, pursing his lips. Yet at the same time, as he read right through me, I saw the understanding there. "You know what I am talking about," he whispered, smiling softly sadly. "Why did you dye your hair? Spur of the moment and wanted change?"
I shrugged, trying to play this off coolly. "Yeah. Why not?"
"Albany," he said softly, his hand that was resting over mine gripped it more, tensely. "I am not stupid. Even if I'm a little loopy with all the drugs."
I moved on instantly; anymore time spent on this subject wouldn't be good. God, I was just surprised Jackson didn't come in here and stop this in case I said something more. I chuckled softly, shaking my head and tried playing it off and moving past this. Yet it was clear how set Francis looked to be on his little hunch. "Okay whatever you say," I chuckled. "Anyway, like I said, just know I am saying I am sorry. I want to talk to Brooke as well next time I see her," I said, knowing that was a lie I had to tell. The very sad part was I wouldn't get a chance to see her before I left; I would really miss her. I would miss this whole family.
"I already spoke to Brooke actually," he said, not looking happy about that. I watched his bloodshot eyes heat up and in a way where it allowed a small tear to form and slowly fall. It was clear just the reminder of her took his mind instantly off of him bring up me leaving. He was so consumed, and instantly, with what happened as he told me. He clenched his jaw tight. "I explained what happened - but that I was accidentally shot. She said that after I was released from the hospital, she wanted me to promise her that... that we could celebrate by going to the park and by going to the beach. And..." he groaned and held back anymore than one tear from falling. "And I had to tell her that it couldn't happen that soon. She just didn't understand.... She is still a mess. So there is no need to tell her anything or that you are sorry because she doesn't think you had anything to do with it. And I can make a fair case that you weren't."
It was at this point that I knew... I was in over my head. How do I get out of this? Because as he explained that to me, knowing how crushed Brooke was, it hurt me nearly just as much as seeing Francis laying here in this long plastic cast around him. His daughter was suffering and not grasping that she might not be able to go to the park or beach with her father for a long time. And it's not like she has a mother in the picture; she had the rest of the family who were amazing with her but her father was her best friend. And I could only imagine how hurt she was. And though Francis doesn't see me being the one to blame, I did.
I felt worse now at hearing that about Brooke. I knew any longer here, I would start to cry like a bitch or he would press me more on the whole 'leaving' thing he suspected. As sad as it was, I knew I needed to leave. Make it worse? I knew Francis was my link to Luke. He was his link and if I just told Francis I would be okay... that's all I would need as a message for Luke. Just for Francis to tell him I was okay. Jackson can go suck himself off because I realized soon upon entering and seeing Francis, that was something I had to do. So with that added... I felt close to losing it.
"Either way... I wish this turned out differently and you didn't have to suffer like this or Brooke," I said, looking in his eyes, bright and searching, curious and worried. I swallowed hard. I didn't realize just how much I would miss Francis too.... "Um, I should probably get going. I have to get to this paper that is due soon for my English class," I lied. Oh and he knew it too. I could see it in his eyes that he knew it. And I wouldn't have believed me either (I mean a paper? Stupid excuse).
"Right," he whispered, gaze falling and a hurt look came over him. "A paper," he scoffed. His eyes found mine and they looked upset and torn. "Can you at least tell me why?" Tell him why I was leaving... I couldn't.
"I can't," I said as I bit my lip and shook my head. It was then that I started to feel a pressure rise in me and I could feel tears want to fall over. But I wouldn't allow that. I leaned forward, and did what I knew I had to do from the second I thought about that idea. I needed to. I understood not going into specifics. But Luke didn't deserve to worry let alone the rest of his family.
Moving closer to where Francis was laying, staring down into his eyes, I leaned in closer and near his ear, careful not to touch his fragile body. And just softly... I whispered in a very slow voice so I could stress it all, "Tell Luke I will be okay and safe... and that I love him more than anything. Tell him that I will... come back eventually. I will miss you, Francis." My breath a hush, an inch from his ear, I knew Jackson wouldn't have heard that. There was no harm in what I said, no specifics I shared. And before Francis could push for any, I was already moving back and away from him, leaning back to sit up straighter again. Just as I was about to wipe away a tear I felt start to fall, my hand was restrained... before I could even fully sit back up to leave.
His hand snapped forward and grabbed my wrist in the air, holding me close to him where I was still leaning near him. His eyes met mine and searched my depths, wide and looking quite alert at my words. Though he couldn't move his body, he expressed enough with those eyes and his lips. He was close enough to where it brushed against my face. It was obvious it was hitting him. I just hoped he was able to retain what I said and accept it... and even more important, tell Luke what I just told him.
Searching his eyes too, he finally spoke up in a small voice, his bushy eyebrows raising as he slowly spoke. "Eventually?" he asked. That word I said... made it sound like it would be a long time until I come back. A year did seem like an eternity in this situation though. "That sounds like a long time," he whispered. Oh god... Jackson better not have heard all this.
I could only nod at him, swallowing. "I need to go," I said, offering him a sorry look. And... I saw his understanding in his eyes. He wouldn't push for any more; he knew my past of running away so he was probably guessing I was doing this just because I needed to. He didn't push... but it was very obvious how worried it made him.
With that and those words... I watched as Francis, his hand holding my wrist, his other one wound up and around me. He ended up cupping the back of my neck I felt, and, shockingly enough, at hearing how long I would be gone for, it sent him in action. His hand clasping the back of my neck through my hair, I watched his eyes pierce mine in sadness as he pulled me closer to him. And carefully, before I knew it, he guided me down and closer to him. Until he pulled me to his lips slowly, and gave me a gentle kiss against my lips. It was warm and sweet and at the same time, it had no effect on me besides knowing I would just miss him as a whole. I was shocked to say the least but it only lasted for a few short of seconds. When he let me go and broke away, he offered me a caring stare as he sighed. And it made me realize he must like me more than I do him. Was there an amount of sorrow that would be enough for this man from me?
"Be safe," he said, smiling sadly to me, knowing that was just something he had to do.
With that, I gave him a soft nod and what I could of a parting and painful glance. "I will," I whispered and offered him a small smile before I forced myself to get to my feet and leave. Knowing he deserved more; knowing I would miss him and even more, I would miss his brother. The longer I am here, the longer I hurt knowing Francis is in this condition; knowing that Luke is close... yet already so far away at this point.
When I stepped out of that room, I felt a breath leave me - one I didn't realize I had been holding this whole time. Whether it was of relief or pain, I didn't know. I do admit though, I was happy I got that done. I was happy I got to tell Francis that I was sorry for all I did and that I was sorry for him getting shot. I just needed him to hear that from me. And now... shockingly, and hopefully, he will spread that message to Luke that I was okay and would be back. That I loved him. I couldn't bare the thought of that man thinking I was taken or him letting it drive himself mad not knowing if I was okay and if I will be back....
As Francis's door closed, I tried wrapping my head back around reality and where I was now. With Jackson and what was next - which would ultimately lead to us going to the airport. To get our flight. To a new life and new home. My dog would be the only familiar aspect of that life I knew; that little pup who was waiting in the car with Agent Ryder, who grudgingly had went back to the car to watch my dog. Which was why now, I was only facing Agent Moore, who was talking with Jackson I noticed. I stared at them for a long moment the second I saw them when I stepped out into the hall. Talking... and probably this whole time no doubt. Well then. I guess Jackson quit monitoring me at some point or found my words to be harmless so just stopped listening after that.
Either way, by the time the two finished talking, a overwhelming feeling came over me. Because... I realized that this was it. It really was. By the time we went back out to the car and started driving, it hit me.
What the next stop was. That it would be maybe a year until I next see this place. A year until I speak to the man I love and didn't have a chance to say goodbye to or explain anything to him. This wasn't something that was planned out for me or something I knew days ahead of time. If you told me a day ago that I would be here now... you would have gotten laughed at by me and maybe even flipped off. This was never something I saw happening.
And yet... it was happening. Right now. Silence in the car again and nothing but me and my sweet puppy. That's all I would know. Just me and Jack and the rest would be foreign to me. I was starting a new life and it was such a strange feeling. One that... that was actually somewhat happy. I would get a break... and after so long! It was a true relief. That I could have this chance to live normal. To go to school, come home, do nothing, eat, and sleep. That sounded like a pure dream come true. Of course, what shattered all that was Luke and knowing how shook up and upset he will be. It made this not even worth it; it really wasn't. At least Francis could give him that message. Oh god, I hope he would. If Luke just knew about this, it would be so much easier, maybe even a little fun and different; like I said, a break. Not just Francis, but I needed to rely on those agents to talk to Luke or get word to him like Jackson said he would try. It was better than nothing and I needed to at least remember that.
Sighing, staring out the windows as we continued down the highway, I knew we were getting close. With the sun beginning to set beyond the busy traffic around us, I started to see more and more signs that told us the airport was coming up. It made my heart beat faster, made me anxious. And made me start demanding more answers to my questions (if I wasn't silent, I was rambling questions and questions off; this one was more than important).
"When do I find out my name? My background and that kind of stuff. Oh! And I want to know where we are going," I said, my head tilting from the window to look between Jackson next to me and Ryder up front in the passenger seat. They were giving me vague answers about everything. But I wanted to know this and I couldn't wait any longer.
"On the plane," Jackson said, hard and stern. "You get your name and the information that is a must for traveling like this on the plane. You will get the more in depth background after we get you there."
Either way, that answer wasn't enough for me. I shook my head, pursing my lips. If I wasn't upset enough and anxious, this wasn't helping. "I think I have a right to know my own fucking name now," I mumbled; I mean, they knew what it was too! It's not like they were giving me much else either way. And why was Jackson telling me all this? The FBI should be the ones informing me of this stuff, not some dude they were sending with me.
The tall and organized strange man next to me sighed in disgust at me after he answered. However, when I looked over to him next to me in the car, I saw his eyes light up again. In mine, and searching in mine. Interested and fascinated yet aggravated. Yeah. A year with his weirdness, no thank you. It's not like I was getting a choice in this though.
The edge of his lip curled up and he smirked at me, slightly amused when he spoke. "Don't be smart with me. My sweet pea niece. You don't want me to get angry now, do you?" he asked in a tone that I didn't appreciate - one calling me a child.
Rolling my eyes, I looked back out the window and watched as the sun descended more and more with each second. Falling towards the horizon in it's beauty. At least you will have the same sun and moon. The same air and water. Sounded weird but it gave me a sense of comfort. What didn't about it though was something the sun and moon always did. Chasing each other until one is always usually present and the other isn't. And I felt like the sun as I watched it fall. Because I was running again. Back to square one, as ironic as it is.
The moment I met Luke... he arrested me and stopped me from running any further. And now, I was running - but I was being forced to. I wanted more than anything to stay here. The ironic thing more so though was that I knew Luke would want me to run like I was; he would have. If only he knew why and how this was being done....
All I knew, was that after this year apart from him, as long as he wants me when I get back, I will never run away from him again. I made that promise to myself right then as the thoughts filtered over me. And looking down to the ring on my finger, I knew that he would still want me. I had so much faith in him...
However, I should have known better... than to have faith in this system. To actually think things would go smoothly. And I should have known better than to assume that this would last a year.
Oh if I only knew.... If I only knew, things might have turned out much differently, my friends.
___________________
_____________________________________
(sorry if there were more mistakes in this one; I edited it but it took like 5 hours stretched out and I am tired haha). But anyway... Wow. I can't believe my third book is done - second of this series! I would so much appreciate it if you guys read into the authors note!