I squeezed Ethan's hand out of excitement as we stepped onto the train, on route to Cheshire, my home town.
We woke up extremely early this morning, which was a struggle, but managed to get on the flight by seven, prepared and on time. We were in London by almost nine, now it's just past ten, and we're getting onto the train to take us home, or me, home.
" I can't wait for you to meet my brother " I smiled as Ethan took the seat opposite me, a grin forming as I said the words.
" me too. I know we'll get along, he seems really funny " Ethan replied, resting his arms on the table as the train began to move, and we were shortly on our way to Cheshire.
" what about your parents? Are they still living in London for business? " He asked, and I shrugged.
" probably. I haven't seen them in months, I didn't even get a birthday message " I sighed, knowing how low that was of my parents.
Ethan shook his head at the thought, grabbing my hand and intertwining his fingers with mine.
" that's horrible, but you have your brother, and me now. Even though you and Grayson didn't get off on the right foot, he adores you since he knows how happy you make me " Ethan told me, my heart swelling and my cheeks flushing pink.
I hid my face in the sleeves of my hoodie, giggling out of pure embarrassment.
" don't hide your face, I've never seen anything so beautiful " He added, enough to make me want to punch him in the face.
" Grant, I swear to god I will slap you in a second " I groaned, staring at him with a playful glare.
The boy smirked, looking out the window at the countryside passing by, before back at me.
" you only call me grant when it's serious or when you're mad, now " Ethan raised a brow, making me roll my eyes jokingly at the stuff he was coming out with.
" hey, grant? " I suddenly said, his eyes darting up to meet mine as a cheeky smile grew on his face.
" yes, hol? " He responded, probably expecting a joke or a nice response, until I stuck up my middle finger, smirking teasingly.
" fuck off "
I was practically bouncing up and down as we waited outside of the station, back in my home town, feeling incredible. Ethan was laughing at my excitement, even filming me with his cute giggle sounding in the background, and posting it on his story. We just didn't care anymore.
" why're you so excited? " Ethan laughed as he pulled me into his arms, squeezing me right.
I shook my head, over the moon.
" because someone very special is picking us up in my car and I want you both to meet! And no, it's not my brother! " I grinned from ear to ear, being cut off when someone tapped Ethan's shoulder, and he swivelled around.
There stood behind us was three girls, their mouths agape as they shakily covered them. They were fans.
" oh, hey guys " Ethan tried his best to be polite, though he took a few steps away from me.
We'd been approached by fans quite a bit on our trip, but not as much as I'd expected. Ethan didn't tell his fans anything about where he was going, always posting his photos on Instagram when we had left, to avoid anyone finding us. We wanted the trip to be just us spending time together, but obviously their fans have their ways. Somehow they'd even found us at Cheshire station, which left me boggled.
Two of the three girls looked around fifteen, while one looked of driving age, so she must've been their way of getting here.
" can we get a photo? how was Paris?!? " One asked politely, grinning at the two of us.
" it was amazing, and of course " Ethan smiled back, welcoming them into his arms as the older friend snapped the picture.
I stood awkwardly to the side, still smiling and being friendly until one said my name, her eyes meeting mine. I was so tempted to ask how she knew my name, but then I remembered, wanting to slap myself in the face for being so stupid.
" can we get a picture with you too? " The other girl asked me, as I raised a brow in confusion.
She seemed pretty excited, and this was my first time being asked. I could see Ethan smiling away at himself as he watched us take the picture, even exchanging hugs.
Just as they thanked us, our ride pulled up, my excitement bubbling over as I saw my bestfriend, Sam, pull over to the side of the road.
Ethan and I said our goodbyes to the girls before I rushed over to my bestfriend's side, hugging her petite body and squeezing her tighter than ever. I hadn't seen her since she went on a holiday to Ireland to visit some of her family, since she's part Irish. Ever since her trip she was busy, and I haven't seen her until now. Of course we texted a lot, and so she knows all about Ethan.
" nice to meet you! You must be Sam " Ethan grinned as he gave her a quick and friendly hug, my cheeks hurting from smiling too hard.
Sam nodded, telling him the same as she sat in the back of my car, and I climbed into the driver's seat.
" I don't know if I trust you driving, you could be shit for all I know " Ethan giggled as he watched me start up the car with a smirk.
I turned to him, slapping the back of his head as I pulled out of the station car park.
" well, you're about right "
After a fun but short car ride with Ethan and Sam, we dropped her off at her house. It was just a couple of roads down from mine, and I could see how nervous Ethan was getting beside me.
" why're you so scared? " I giggled as I held his hand, holding it on my leg as I drove.
" oh I don't know... I was right, your driving is terrible! I'm also going to your house and meeting your brother! " Ethan said as if it were obvious, making me laugh.
" and my dog " I announced as soon as I remembered that I'd never mentioned my dog to Ethan.
Harley is a chocolate Labrador, and I've had him for the past two years. He's basically my brother's dog, but he secretly loves me just as much.
" you have a dog?!? " Ethan almost screamed as I pulled into my driveway, climbing out and locking my car.
As soon as we got out I heard another car behind us, making my head snap into that direction. My street's very small, quiet, and it's separated from the main part of town completely, so to have someone driving down there felt a little odd. However I shrugged it off, thinking it might have been one of the very few neighbours I had, although their cars were all parked in their driveway.
I didn't say anything to Ethan, and so when I opened the front door and my crazy dog came rushing towards us, his question was answered.
I was pretty much on my hands and knees with Harley licking all over my face, his paws on my knees as I ruffled his fur.
Ethan joined in, stroking him and talking to him in the funniest voice. Forget my brother liking Ethan, I'm just glad my dog does.
I heard the door squeak and my eyes peeled up, meeting with my younger brother's eyes. I let out a squeal as I jumped up, rushing towards him and hugging him. Despite him being my younger brother, he's an awful lot taller than me. Probably the same height as Ethan, and if not, taller.
" I missed you! I'm surprised the house is still intact " I laughed, knowing what Lucas was always like, wanting to throw parties.
He chuckled, shaking his head and running a hand through his blonde hair. He looked at Ethan, stepping toward and holding his hand out.
Ethan did the same, instead pulling him into one of those weird hugs, which made me giggle.
" nice to meet you, man " Ethan smiled, not even having to introduce himself properly, as my brother knew it all.
" you too, I've heard a lot about you " Lucas said, Ethan's smirk growing as he looked at me with a raised brow.
" oh, not from Holly, from people in my school. They won't stop going on about how Ethan Dolan is dating my sister, it's fucking irritating... " Lucas blurted out, Ethan's cheeks going red, as well as mine.
Lucas noticed, changing the subject with a laugh.
" anyway... mum called while you were away... her and dad are coming back next week for a few days " Lucas suddenly said, my eyes wide as the room fell silent.
I did miss my parents, but they'd never been there. It was always that they put their work first, rather than their family.
" cool " I responded bluntly, before telling Lucas I was just going to show Ethan around the house.
I did just that, showing him the kitchen, where we immediately grabbed some snacks, then the living room. My house was never big, in fact it was quite small, but I loved it. It was cosy, and one of the only places I felt safe.
I led him to my bedroom after showing him the rest of the house, pushing open the door which was still covered in stickers from when I was a child.
I heard Ethan chuckle at that, his eyes scanning around my neat and tidy room which hadn't been touched in days. I knew Lucas had probably been in with his friends, since they always use my TV when they come around, but I didn't exactly care about that.
" so, this is where you sat and messaged me creepy jokes and pick up lines for months " Ethan smirked, sitting down on my bed and kicking off his shoes.
" yes. This is the room that I sat and hyperventilated over your nudes in " I smirked back, making his cheeks flush with a tint of pink as a laugh escaped his lips.
I sat on his lap, squishing his cheeks in my hand as he looked up at me admiringly. It made me feel all tingly inside, a feeling that I didn't want to ever get rid of.
" This is so weird " Ethan blurted out in almost a whisper, his words muffled as he stared up at me, still in a daze.
My eyebrows scrunched up in worry at what he'd said, whilst I bit my lip out of confusion.
" what is? " I responded, still sat in his lap as I draped my arms over his shoulders.
" I just find it weird that I actually really, really, like someone that I met over tinder " He answered, my cheeks turning pink, but this time I tried to hide it.
Usually I would cover my face or yell at him to shut up, but I didn't care. It felt right, he made me feel special, he made me feel confident in myself.
I pushed him back against the bed with my small hands, straddling him as I lent down to his lips and placed gentle and slow kisses against them. Ethan's much larger hands trailed up my sides and to my waist, where he held me, his hands touching the bare skin under my hoodie.
It sent goosebumps all over my body, my heart beating rapidly just by the slightest bit of his touch. He was incredible.
We were just savouring our last kisses, cuddles, even just chats, together, as we knew that we wouldn't be able to do it in person for another long period of time. It was painful.
I pulled away, resting my head on Ethan's chest and laid next to him, a sigh escaping my lips as I knew what we would have to do tomorrow. I knew he was thinking the same thing as me as he placed a comforting kiss on my head, playing with my hair like he had the morning before as we laid in bed together, in Paris.
I heard him sigh too, the two of us staring at the ceiling as we enjoyed one of our final moments together like this.
" where do we go from here, Hol? " Was what he asked, my eyes threatening to fill with tears at the thought of him leaving me, and the thought of still lying to his fans about us.
My hand traced circles on his bicep as I thought about my answer, knowing what I wanted all too well, though nothing came out of my mouth.
I shook my head lightly, muttering the words in doubt and worry, what if we never see eachother again after this?
" I just.. I don't know "