6:00 a.m.
I snuggle up closer to Jason and he holds me tighter. He was holding me on his lap, but I moved to sit next him. Now my legs are on top of his and my head is on his chest, he hasn't stopped holding me since we sat down though.
We're finally watching Fault In Our Stars and it seems timely since I'm not going to make it through the next hour. I can feel it. So I sit as close as I possibly can to him and take in as much of this time as I can.
"You feeling okay still," he asks. "No," I answer. He looks worried now. "Do you want me to call a nurse," he asks and I shake my head lightly. "I've got a little time left. I'll let you know when I don't," I assure him. "How will you be able to tell," he asks. "I just will. Don't freak out though," I say. "Alright princess," he says.
I smile and he holds me tighter that ever, as if I'll vanish if he lets me go. I do the same and cling to him. I listen to the sound of his heart and smile to myself a little. I'm happy that he's the one here with me now.
~~ About half an hour later ~~
"Jason," I say softly when my breathing starts becoming a bit irregular," I gotta go soon." "I'll call a nurse," he says. "No. Baby," I say when he starts trying to find the button to signal a nurse. "Jason," I call again, but he still doesn't listen. "You're an idiot sometimes, Jason. Just look at me," I tell him.
He turns his head to look at me and I cup his face. This time, I kiss him. Slowly and softly. Time seems to stop when we're like this, so maybe I can stall for just a few minutes. I pull away about a minute later and look at him.
"I love you, my little idiot," I say with a smile. He laughs a little, but I can see the tears in his eyes. "I love you too, my princess," he says and tear escapes his eyes. I wipe his tears away carefully and he rests his forehead on mine.
"Don't cry, please. It makes it harder to say goodbye to you than it already is," I say while fighting my own tears back. "I don't want to say goodbye," he says. "Neither do I and I'm sorry," I say.
He shakes his head a little and kisses me again. "It's okay," he whispers," I'm gonna miss you." "I'll miss you too. Don't forget me, okay," I say. "Not in a million lifetimes," he promises. "Good, cause I'll haunt you or something if you do," I say and he smiles weakly. "You can haunt me all you want. I won't mind a bit," he says.
I smile one last time and close my eyes. "I love you," I whisper. The last thing I hear is Jason softly whisper "I love you too", then the sound of the heart monitor's line going flat.