The building appeared to be old and eerie. Its chocolate bricked walls, an aid in the school's favor from collapsing, was beginning to chip from the excessive abuse of uneducated humans.
There was always a first time for everything. In my favor, just as every privileged child, had the ability to go to Elementary School. It's building surrounded by tall children, fearlessly scurrying around the schoolyard, scrambling to their destination.
Filled with butterflies, I was anxious. I mean, how could I not? It is the first time I have ever gone to school in my life. As soon as my foot had stepped onto the school's property, my heart began to feel so heavy that I felt it drop at the sight of the waving American flag. It stood high in its perch within the sky, asserting its presence to all.
"Have a wonderful first day in school, honey," I heard my Momma say from the car. My hair from my high ponytail whipped my face from the speed my head whipped around to my mother. It licked my brown orbs, stinging them, breaching my eyes' limit further from withholding my tears.
"M-Momma, no!" I shrieked, feeling the waterworks in my eyes dribble down my cheeks to a plip, plop within the light navy blue uniform shirt my Momma forced me to wear.
Had Momma not cared? She was leaving me alone to fend for myself in this big, open new world, known as school.
"Hun, you'll do fine," she tried assuring me, crouching down my level so that we were able to see eye to eye. "Come, give Momma a hug."
Running into her arms, I allowed myself to be engulfed within her motherly essence. That natural tranquility that no other being could surpass. A natural feeling a mother gave to allow her child to feel how I felt at this moment. Safe and protected in my mother's arms.
"I love you, Momma," I wept, clinging to her as if my life had depended on it.
"I love you, too. Now, have fun at school. Your brother with be here to pick you up afterwards. And once you get home, you can tell me the greatest adventure you had here at school as we drink some hot chocolate! Sounds good?" she asked.
I nodded my head as she wiped away my tears.
"Good, now run along."
•
I wanted to die. Momma had left once I had made it into the center of the yard. If only she had stayed, she would have rescued me from the children who were now trampling over me.
"Watch it!"
"Move! You're in the way of our game."
"Get out of the way!"
Some even had chosen some foreign language that Daddy used whenever he was really angry with someone. Usually he'd speak this language in the car to another driver. But, Momma always scolded him to apologize to me.
"I-I'm s-sorry."
"Nerd!" An older kid boomed, shoving me down in the dusty ground, causing my glasses to fall off. The large boy soon bursted into laughter, as if messing with me was the funniest thing in the world.
"My glasses!" I gasped, frantically patting the ground for them, not able to see through the blur. I felt myself at the brink of tears, desperately trying hard not to cry as I searched. Until suddenly I heard a loud crunch.
My glasses.
"Look! She's crying cause we broke her poor little glasses," he cooed, causing the mass of children to hack even further in laughter. I clenched my eyes to stop the tears.
"Hey, what's going on?" I heard a familiar deep voice call from across the yard. The laughter immediately died down, all forms of sound ceasing entirely. Slowly I opened my clenched eyes, revealing a blurry blob that I recognized to be my big brother, Jason.
"H-Huh?" The bully stuttered.
"You're not bullying my baby sister, are you, bud? I mean, not cool, dude. You're practically ten times her size," he chuckled satirically. "And to think you have the audacity to pick on her? I mean, wow. The balls you must have."
"I-I'm thirteen."
"Did I ask? Does it look like I care? If we're being honest with each other, let me tell you, I don't give a damn. But what I do give two sh*ts about is you f*cking with my sister," he lowly growled out, getting in his face. "If I even see you looking at her, you have a seventeen year old to deal with. You hear?"
Scurrying into my big brother's arms, I thanked everything that was good that I hadn't fallen flat on my face through the blur. Sighing in frustration, my brother began his trek into the building. His palm began to give my back soothing strokes as he power walked, not waiting for a response from the mean boy.
"My glasses," I whispered in desperation.
"Don't worry, Meg. We'll buy you new ones," he whispered into my hair. "Trust me when I tell you that I will protect you. Not a single person will harm you."
"Best big brother ever," I gushed into his neck, not realizing how indifferent his words truly were. After all, he was only sticking around for two more years till he had headed off to college, leaving me to fend for myself.
But I hadn't known better then. I was only 5, first getting introduced to school as a Kindergartener. I had to learn the ropes of school life and ways to fend for myself once 2nd grade hit all alone.
Jason flew to Philadelphia, attending the school of Drexel for college. We wrote and skyped once a week to catch up with each other's lives, but it breached to a halt once I entered the realm of puberty.
I was thirteen at the time. Jason was visiting for Christmas break. Unfortunately, a girl was introduced into our abode that day. But wasn't the only bizarre occurrence. That was the day Dad went crazy, beating me for the first time.
It was the day I was watching one of best classic scenes in history.
•
"He told me enough! He told me you killed him!" Luke spoke through the Tv, swinging away from Darth Vader.
"No, I am your father."
Quickly, I paused the movie, staring blankly at the screen with my eyes wide. Mark Hamill, James Earl Jones, Irvin Kershner you have succeeded again in officially blowing my mind.
"Meghan, come downstairs and see who it is!" I heard my mother call, causing me to inwardly groan, but still had trudging up to get dressed for our unknown guest. Afterwards, I made my way downstairs, only to reveal a familiar large figure that I hadn't physically seen in five years.
"Jason?" I called, unsure if it was truly him. His unusually gargantuan head snapped around, only to greet me with a familiar beam.
"Megan," he joyously spoke, accepting me in his arms. "I missed you so much," he whispered into my hair. "So damn much."
"I missed your insanely large head, too."
"Man, you got big," he chuckled, ruffling my already messy hair, causing me to lightly smack his hand away in frustration.
"I know. Who could've guessed your head would get even bigger?"
Jason chuckled under his breath, ruffling my hair even further. We began to have a miniature sparring session. With myself roaring at the top of my lungs on his back, arms encircled around his neck, as Jason guffawed.
"This. Is. Meghan!"
I was positive by now that the woman Jason brought home was either scared away at this point by his baby sister. But that was where the woman belonged, away. No where near my big brother. Because he was forever my one and only big brother, my rock, my guardian.
He was the one and only who accepted me for me. The one who loved his baby sister through all of her quirks, awkward stages, and even her weird pop culture references.
"Oh my gosh, like can you guys just not?" I heard a voice whine, interrupting the tranquil moment between two bonding siblings. I sighed in frustration, visibly irritated. "Like, I can't even function anymore with you guys acting like that."
"Uhm, yeah. Like totally not," I rolled my eyes. Her voice was like nails on a chalk board. In fact, I didn't even feel comfortable stating the word "like" after this girl tarnishing with every syllable she says. "I, like, totes understand what you mean."
"Oh my gosh, Babe," she whined once more, causing me to cringe. "Can you, like, grow up?"
My focus was on the whiny girl. She was a bleach blonde, had green eyes, thin figure, and caked her face with unneeded makeup. She was surely something. And where the heck did she come from? What am in? Is this some kind of cliched novel?
"My apologies," he sheepishly smiled, setting me down to the ground. Then, Jason joined the girl on the couch, arm rested behind her.
"Could you, like, remind me who this little cutie is?" Her voice snapped me out of my mini trance of observation and confusion. "I just have to meet the girl who has my man all riled up and completely out of character."
I just glared through my squared glasses before replying with a tight, "I'm thirteen."
Sure, it was a bit rude, but she needed to get her facts straightened before she had went all over the place blurting things.
"Meghan!" Both my mother and brother scolded. "Your tone with guest."
"Sorry, she's not the smartest." Jason reasoned with the girl, causing my blood to boil.
"I'm not the smartest? I helped you with your homework through Skype last year and bumped up your GPA. You're staying for your Doctoral degree, Jason! And you tell me that I'm not smart?"
"Meghan, stop being so immature. You are thirteen. If you want to be recognized so bad, you shouldn't speak to people twice your age with that mouth!"
"What mouth? At least I know my mouth doesn't have a freaking yeast infection from slobbering all over plastic!"
"Meghan," Jason gasped, face reddening in both embarrassment and anger. "Take that back!"
"I'm home!" I heard Dad call from the front door.
Growling in frustration, I dash away from the scene and towards the staircase.
"F*ck you!" I screamed behind me, tears blurring my vision. Until I suddenly had my hair almost ripped from my head. Alcohol wafted up my nose, my face to twisting in disgust.
"So this is how you welcome back your twenty-five year old brother? Telling him that you'd f*ck him?" a gruff voice hissed into my ear, continuing to fan the hot stench of alcohol up my nose, causing my eyes to water as feet dangled for the ground. "Didn't know you had it in you."
W-What? I didn't even mean it that way. "N-No, Daddy, I..."
"Lies," he whispered. "I just witnessed that little stunt you pulled off."
He then threw me onto the floor, readjusting his grip on my hair once more. It was only me and him at the moment, my teary eyes burning into his hazed orbs.
"We'll address this stunt laster," he promised, eyes casting darkly over my trembling frame. "Speak a word of this, you're dead. You hear?"
"Y-Yes," I whispered, looking down at the wooden floors with tears in my eyes. "Yes, Daddy."
"Good. Now, I want you to fix your face and apologize."
"Y-Yes, Daddy."
"Good," he sternly praised. "But, no dinner for you tonight. Go straight into your room and into that bed, do you here me?"
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"Good," he smirked. "Be a good daughter and wait for me in your room."
•
Sure, I did act immature that night, but I was a newly teen, my hormones just kicked in. But, no one understood that. And crazy thing was was that Jason told me that he would protect me, that he'd loved me when I was new to the whole school concept, when I was just a Kindergartener.
But he didn't help me out that night. In fact, he just slobbered in that fake blonde's face through the whole summer break. Not once that summer had he spared me a glance as our father beaten the crap out of me.
Even now, as a Junior in high school, Jason did not care for me. He long gone in California, working his butt off, happy to be away from both College and me.
He never loved me.
Besides, who needs a seventeen year old freak anyways? Who needs a freak like me?