I still feel sharp pains in my chest when I see you,
And no,
Before you start to inflate your ego with this,
It's not because I still love you,
It's just because it hurts knowing your doing perfectly okay without me.
In fact,
I think your doing better now that I'm gone.
I guess that kinda burns.
It sucks knowing my best friend has known me longer but still prefers you over me,
But I guess I'm going to learn how to deal with it.
It's sucks that on the weekend after you broke me,
You and her hung out without me.
I'm not complaining,
I'm not stopping her from being your friend,
I guess it just hurts because I could have used some support,
And help dealing with all the things you said to me,
But
She was supporting you instead.
And no,
She didn't bother texting me after you left.
We haven't talked since the week after last.
I don't really think she's my best friend anymore.
I kinda feel like this was all my fault deep down.
I kinda feel like I'm the one who ruined it,
But I guess it's instant karma because I'm the only one who's being shoved away.
I don't know what I did,
But it still eats me up inside pretty often.
I just thought you should know that.
But I'm pretty sure it all happened because I loved you,
And I guess the thought of that made you pretty disgusted.
thanks for pretending for a little while though,
But I kinda wish you hadn't.
You led me on to think everything was okay,
So when shit started to hit the fan,
It didn't really hit like shit.
It hit like a tsunami.
It felt like thousands of pounds of water trying to drown me,
Like it all just came out of fucking nowhere,
And I'm still trying to get oxygen into my lungs again,
Even though it's been weeks and weeks since everything was still dry,
Truth be told,
I still feel like I never got my closure from our friendship.
I feel like I was never really told why it all ended,
And I feel like I'm the only one who still doesn't know sometimes,
Because I know people have asked,
But I've never heard what you said to them.
Because when they asked me,
I just said,
I don't know.
Ask her about it,
I'm sure she knows why.
And . . .
I constantly feel like I'm waiting on an unanswered question.
. . .
But I know my question will never be answered,
Because you're to busy pretending I never asked.