A/N: Don't read if you haven't watched episode 8 of Stray Kids because this contains hella spoilers lmao
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Word Count: 1,467
Synopsis: On the day that Felix gets eliminated...
A/N: My baby Felix was eliminated and this is all the things I want to say to him because I love him with all my heart. Also, sorry if this is inaccurate, I wasn't fully paying attention to the episode this time because I was so worried that Felix was going to be eliminated. And then once he actually was eliminated, I didn't pay attention at all afterwards.
Right leg shaking, and heart beating fast, you sat impatiently awaiting for Felix and the boys' arrival back at the dorms.
They had left the early in the morning to go to the trainee center to prepare for their busking mission that day. You were out there with the boys watching the group perform all together. If they were a little nervous, it definitely didn't show as they seemed so confident and happy. It seemed as if they had been idols for many years. After they had finished their performances, they rushed back to the JYP building while you went back to the dorms to wait for them.
You had been dating Felix for quite some time after you had first run into him in a coffee shop one March day in Gangnam. It was on accident that you had run (quite literally) into him. One moment you were turning your back around, and the next you slammed into a thing that felt like a wall. Already embarrassed from running into something in public, you grabbed your forehead in pain as it had absorbed most of the impact. But when you heard a deep groan, that certainly wasn't yours, you looked up only to realize that you had in fact run into a human being. It surely didn't help that the person you ran into was extremely handsome as well.
Eyes widening in alarm, you immediately began to exclaim apologies, but in your panicked state of mind, you somehow kept switching in between languages. From "I'm so sorry!" to "lo siento mucho" and lastly "미안합니다".
The boy chuckled in response to your blubbering before gently grasping your hands that were flailing around in an attempt to calm you down. "It's alright, it's my fault. I was standing really close to you anyways," he said in a deep, Australian accent, which confused you as you were in Korea.
Blushing profusely, you tucked a piece of hair behind your hair and looked down at the floor. "I'm still really sorry," you mumbled.
"That's okay, we all make mistakes," he replied before turning around to walk away.
"Oh- uh, wait!" You called out. The boy stopped immediately and slowly pivoted back to face you with a face full of curiosity.
"Um, can I.. could I possibly buy you a cup of coffee as a way to make up for slamming right into you?" You sheepishly asked.
The boy teasingly pondered about the offer for a moment before saying, "I don't know.. I feel as though if you buy me a coffee, you'll just run into me with it." He smirked.
Absolutely embarrassed, you turned your gaze to the floor before softly saying, "I promise I'll just buy it for you then go.."
"Hmm.. you can buy me a coffee," he replied. Immediately you started digging around your bag for money.
"But-" you stopped searching for money and looked up at him in anticipation for what he was about to say next. "You can buy me a coffee.. only if you stay to have a cup with me." He grinned cheekily.
That day, he told you that his name was Felix Lee and that he was an aspiring kpop idol and rapper. He had dreams to debut with a group called Stray Kids under JYP Entertainment, and he spoke to you of how he was supposed to go through a survival show. Before you both left, he timidly asked for your number, afraid that you would say no. Which was quite a contrast from earlier when he confidently declared that he wanted to have a cup of coffee with you and get to know you.
He asked you to be his girlfriend a couple months after the incident, and two months later, you now sat in the dorm room that he shared with Seungmin.
You had been joyful after their busking mission, as you thought that everything had gone accordingly. Their performance was great, there were lots of fans, and if anything, it had seemed like an actual concert. However, after an hour of waiting at the dorms, Felix had sent you a quick text saying that someone was about to be eliminated. Frantically texting back, you sent multiple replies asking what does he mean, was he serious, is everyone alright, and other comforting replies telling him that no matter what happened, everything was going to be okay. However, he had yet to reply back.
After two hours of impatiently waiting, anxiously sitting around, and multiple rounds around the room as you paced back and forth, you finally heard a click from the front door of the dorm.
Heart rate sped up, breathing heavy, and eyes looking practically frenetic, you immediately stood up and waited for Felix to enter the room.
After 5 minutes, the bedroom door slowly clicked open and was pushed steadily pushed backwards. You didn't know that it could happen, but your heart rate sped up even faster. Eventually, Felix appeared in the doorway with his head hung low, the sounds of sniffles arose out of him. Sluggishly, he rose his head. Heart breaking, your breath was caught in your throat as you took in his appearance.
His once bright and beautiful eyes were red and puffy, his full lips were quivering, and his nose was red from the friction of having constantly be rubbed.
The two of you didn't say anything as you gazed at each other waiting for someone to make the first move. Felix was the one who made it eventually.
"I- I" is all he managed to mutter out. He didn't even have to say anything else before you understood what he was trying to say.
He had been eliminated.
You were in his arms in an instant, automatically wrapping your small arms around him. Trying to bite back your tears, you burrowed your head into his neck as he let everything out. Tears flowed out, as the boy you loved cried out loud sobs of anguish. Your arms tightened their grip around him, and you comfortingly rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe him.
"It's-"
'It's going to be okay' is what you had wanted to say. But you knew that, that was not what he wanted to hear, and it clearly was not going to ease him. Instead, the two of you stood in the doorway of the room, rocking back and forth as your shirt began to become drowned with his tears.
You slowly let go of him telling him that you were going to run to get some tissues. When you came back, you found Felix lying curled up on his bed still letting tears fall. Frowning, you approached his bed and softly laid down next to him. You pat his face with the tissue attempting to dry his face of tears. Eventually, you gave up as all the tissues began to be soaked with the salty liquid.
Pushing your body closer to him, you hugged Felix and ran your hands through his hair as he buried his face into your shoulder. His body shook with tears as his dreams of debuting with Stray Kids was broken; his dreams of making music with his hyungs were broken, and you felt all his pain as he laid beneath you shaking with sorrow. Felix felt heartache that all his dreams of debuting were crushed, and you felt heartache as you watched the boy you love practically drown in his own tears. All you could do lay there with him and whisper in his ear that it was going to be okay.
It went on like that for a while. You, slowly running your hands through his soft, inky black hair, and Felix bawling his eyes out.
Eventually, his tears began to slow down as he became exhausted from crying so much, and soon it became small sniffles.
It was before the sun rose that his breathing finally grew shallow as he fell asleep. Still hugging him, you peered up at his face.
Oh Felix, it's going to be okay. Please don't give up, you're such a talented boy. You're going to be so amazing in the future, it's going to be okay.
You placed soft kisses all around his face before you finally buried your head in his chest and fell asleep.
A/N: So my baby boy Felix was eliminated from Stray Kids and I have never felt such heartbreak. I love that boy with all my heart, and seeing him cry like that made me cry so much. JYP doesn't know what he's missing out on. Felix was literally the light of both Stray Kids and my life, he was so lively and I'm going to miss him so so much. I hope that JYP pulls two Momo's now and brings both Minho and Felix back.
Also, please fill out this link from Naver!
https://form.office.naver.com/form/responseViewMobile.cmd?formkey=MWM3ZThjZGEtZGU4Ny00OTdmLThhNWYtNGQxYWI4N2E3OTc3&sourceId=urlshare
You have to sign in first (make an account), and then you can fill out the information. It's also in English! It asks you what you want to see from Stray Kids, and many (including myself) are saying that we want to see OT9 debut.
Also, see my Tumblr for more (I post more on there too) @ STK0t9
Thanks for reading!
-Maddy xx