The flight feels like it takes f o r e v e r.
But the three of us make it work.
We talk excitedly for most of it,
about Aunt Eevie and about
what we'll do and where we'll stay.
"How long are we going to stay in Japan, Ann'e?"
"...Right now, I'm hoping for a couple of months,"
Ann'e's smile is soft and warm.
A glimmer of hope.
'But?' I twist to face her.
"But it depends on you two
and if you like it there
enough to stay for longer."
Ann'e's words replay
over and over and over
in my head while her and Suki sleep.
And I realize that I'm suddenly terrified.
Because I want so many things
that conflict with each other.
And it's scary to want so desperately
because what if it's all ripped away again?
History repeats itself, right?
What if-
It's okay to want things,
I remind myself.
I've grown this far.
I inhale quietly and close my eyes.
Try to calm the erratic stammer in my heart.
This is just the beginning.