"I-..I don't know, dad. I don't know if he's going to come back. It's been two days and there's been no word, nothing. It's like he vanished." I sighed, trying to keep my dad updated on the hell that is Beacon Hills and all our lives right now.
After telling him that Boyd was murdered by the Alphas, he insisted we keep training harder than ever. I know dad means well, and I'm grateful he's teaching me to be strong. I know he fears I'll end up dead, that he'll lose me just like I fear I'll lose him. Which is why we're in the backyard, training harder than ever as he kept insisting I needed to focus on my accuracy with a bow as well as my swordsman ship. Right now, we were sparing with actual swords, kind of scary the crap out of me slightly because of the sparks that fly whenever the blades hit one another too hard.
I groaned in pain when dad swooped my feet, causing me to fall to the floor, hard. I groaned, turning to my side as I sat on the floor to rest. "No resting. There's no breaks in a real fight." Dad reminded me.
"I know, I know...But I can't help but be distracted right now, dad." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I still felt slightly weak from feeling Boyd's death, and on top of training harder and longer, I haven't been sleeping all that well. Not to mention Derek's gone MIA and none of us know when he'll return. "I'm just worried about Derek. It's been two days, dad, and it's like he's vanished. This whole thing is far from over and he's--..he's just gone. I'm worried." I looked down at my shoes, trying to avoid dad's looks as I didn't want him to see how worried I actually was.
But he knew me and I still had a lot to learn from him.
"Sweetheart, look at me.." Dad said, kneeling down next to me as he lifted my chin up with a single figure so I could look into his eyes. "Derek's going to be fine, he's strong and he's brave. But he just needs some time to be by himself, to heal."
"It's been two days..Dad, he's by himself and he's hurting, blaming himself for Boyd's death. It's not his fault, it's the Alphas. Deucalion's.." I reminded him. "I know I should be focusing, I know that--...I'm just worried. I-I feel something horrible coming, I-I keep seeing death and I just can't help but be terrified. I-I don't want anyone to die."
Dad suddenly got this look on his face, making me question what it was for. "Deucalion once was a good man, trying to keep the peace. Gerard wasn't the only thing that blinded him, vengeance and power blinded him as well..." Dad brushed my hair behind my ear as I looked at him. "Okay, now like Game of Thrones, what do we say to the god of death?"
"Not today.." I sighed, regretting ever watching Game of Thrones with him. He's been quoting it lately after binge watching the seasons. But I can't blame him, it's a great show. "But I fear we have a Red Wedding type of situation coming our way and there's nothing I can do about it."
"Listen to your instincts. You're a Valkyrie, now my love. So listen to what the voices and feelings are trying to tell you...Focus, now tell me do you feel or see any of your friends deaths?" Dad said while I closed my eyes, slowly shaking my head. "You can predict death as well as control it to an extent, with more control over your gifts.. You're special, my love. Never forget that and don't fear death."
I sighed, grabbing his hand to stand up before pulling him into a hug. "I love you, dad. More than anything so please-..please don't ever leave."
"I won't, ever. I'll never leave your side, not as long as I have a choice." Dad smiled down at me before telling me we could be done for the training for now. He told me to go be with my friends, how we all needed each other. I thanked him, telling him I loved him before leaving the house to make my way towards Stiles.
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After going to Stiles house, we made our way to Derek's loft to see if maybe by some miracle he had returned by now. He hadn't. So we just sat around with Cora and Peter in silence for hours. We all tried calling Derek, texting but he didn't answer.
"Where the hell is he?" Stiles questioned, finally breaking the silence between everyone.
"Waiting, hiding..That's what we're taught to do when the hunters find us. Hide and heal.." Cora responded as she stood up, walking over to the window to stare out of it.
"Okay, so, is like two days standard then? Or are we thinking Derek's on, like, some extended getaway?" Stiles questioned her.
"Why do either of you care anyways?" Cora asked, turning around to stare at Stiles and I from the window.
I rolled my eyes slightly before sitting up, putting my hand on Stiles shoulder to try and defuse a situation before it arose. But looks like it was too late. Cora's comment had angered Stiles.
"Why do I care? Let's see, because over the last few weeks, my best friend and girlfriend, his boss was nearly ritually sacrificed, a girl I've known since I was three was ritually sacrificed, Boyd was killed by Alphas. You want me to keep going? Because I could, all right. For hours!" Stiles yelled, having reached his limit.
I sighed, pulling Stiles back slightly so he wouldn't keep going. "Babe, it's not helping to yell at each other..And Cora, we care because Derek's important to us whether we'll openly admit it or not. Point being, we're worried. We just want Derek to come home or let us know he's all right."
"Do you think Derek can do anything about that?" Cora asked, stepping closer to us but I interlocked mine and Stiles hand, pulling slightly so he wouldn't get too close. All we needed was those two killing each other while Derek's still MIA.
"Well since he's the one everyone seems to be after, it's more like he should do something about it." Stiles said.
I looked up at Stiles, pulling on his hand. "Derek will help, he always does in the end. But he needs time to rest and gather himself back up. Space and time is what he needs after Kali forced Derek to kill Boyd with his own claws...I know I sure as hell would need time after something as horrid as that. But Derek will come back, he'll help like he always does."
"I don't know. There's something different about him now. He wasn't like this when I knew him." Cora said, coming to stand next to us as we asked what he used to be like.
"A lot like Scott, actually."
But before she could answer our question, we heard someone walking down the spiral staircase. We turned to see Peter walking down the stairs; god could someone kill him again, please? His presences makes me want to slit this throat to the bone, making him into a fur coat. Yeah, I guess you could say I'm still a bit peeved about him basically mind rapping me into helping resurrect him.
"A lot like most teenagers. Unbearably romantic, profoundly narcissistic, tolerable really only to other teenagers." Peter continued before coming to stand near us.
Stiles pushed me behind him as we didn't take our eyes off of Peter. All he needed was a second of us distracted so he could stab us in the back like he's prone to do so.
"And what happened? What changed him?" Stiles and I questioned.
"Well, the same thing that changes a lot of young men." Peter smirked, staring at us before giving us the answer to our questions. "A girl."
I raised my eyebrows slightly, kind of surprised. You know, it could be cause my mind has been preoccupied with the random things trying to end all our lives as well as adapting to my new life among the supernatural... But I never really thought much about Derek's love life. I mean, I heard he dated Kate Argent but that ended badly. Now, I'm pretty sure he's dating our english teacher, Ms. Blake. I just never really took Derek for having, well, a love life at all. Or a social life. It's not like Derek's ugly, he's very handsome in the brooding, mystery type of way. It's just well, I just assumed he's so sour all the time because of all the shit that happened to him.
You know, letting the world break you isn't something to be ashamed of. We're all strong in our own ways but sometimes, even the thickest of rock can be cracked by an immense pressure. But if what Peter's saying is true, and that's a big effing if, then it must have ended badly with this girl.
"So-...Some girl broke Derek's heart and made him like the sourwolf he is today? It must have ended pretty badly for him to be this down about it still..." I asked Peter, staring at him and waiting for the answers.
"Ended badly doesn't begin to describe it."
Peter stayed quiet, glancing over to focus his attention on Cora before asking her something. "Do you remember Derek before he was an Alpha, he had blue eyes?" Cora nodded her head before he turned back to the rest of us. "Do you know why some wolves have blue eyes?" Peter asked.
Stiles and I exchanged a look before shrugging our shoulders. "I just always thought it was, like, a genetic thing." Stiles answered.
"If you want to know what changed Derek, you need to know what changed the color of his eyes." Peter said before going on to tell us the story of a girl named Paige, Derek's first love.
They had met during their sophomore year in high school, apparently she hated Derek the first moment she saw him. But he had been infatuated with her the moment he laid eyes on her. She was a quiet, pretty girl who played the cello, and she stole the young wolf's heart the minute he laid eyes on her. It's funny really because he went to Beacon Hills High like the rest of us, they actually met in the hallway outside the music room. It was like something from a Nicholas Sparks movie.
"So if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he? How old were you? How old are you now?" Stiles questioned Peter.
"Not as young as we could have been, but not as old as you might think." Peter answered, making the two of us roll our eyes. He might as well have stayed quiet since that was the complete opposite of an actual answer. It only raised more questions.
"Okay that was frustratingly vague. Thanks for nothing." I rolled my eyes before Stiles and I looked at Cora, asking her how old she was.
"I'm 17." Cora said.
"Thank you, that's an answer. That's how you answer people." Stiles said to Peter.
Cora rolled her eyes slightly before quickly adding, "Well, 17 how you'd measure in years."
This made Stiles roll his eyes before the two of us asked Peter what happened with Derek and Paige. Since we were getting hugely off topic.
"What do you think happened? They're teenagers. One minute it's "i hate you, don't talk to me". The next, its' frantic groping in any dark corner they could manage to find themselves alone in for five minutes. Their favorite dark corner was an abandoned distillery outside of Beacon Hills." Peter said, acting like we were morons for not getting it right away.
I rolled my eyes at him, instead focusing on Derek's first love story. So it was the classic Nicholas Sparks theme type of romance. A Walk to Remember type of thing, a hate turned love relationship. It was rather sweet, if you don't focus too much on the fact that this does not have a good ending. Call me a hopeless romantic but I love a good love story, even if they don't all have happy endings. It just sucks to think how Derek's first love story doesn't end well, ends with him being a sour patch kid.
Then suddenly, something hit me as I listened to what Peter was saying.
"Wait, a second. How do you know all this? I thought you said they were alone during this?" I asked Peter, looking at him confused. I mean, the way he's telling this story it's as if he was standing right next to Derek as it happened. He knew way too much about Derek and Paige.
Peter just laughed, shaking his head at me slightly. "Back then, I wasn't just Derek's uncle. I was his best friend, his closest confidante. That's how I know." Peter answered as if I had insulted him for not knowing this information.
He can't blame me really. He's a psychopath, killed Derek's sister Laura and Derek slashed his throat open to receive the Hale alpha status. So, forgive me for not believing or even thinking that Peter was in anyway Derek's best friend and closest confidante at any given time.
I rolled my eyes at Peter, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I glared at him. "If he chose you as his best friend, that must mean he didn't get along with that many people."
Peter rolled his eyes back at me before continuing his story.
Peter told us about how Derek's mother, Talia, was a well respected Alpha among the werewolf community since she had the rare ability to shift into an actual wolf. Everyone looked to her for guidance and respected her so much. He then told us about how Deucalion, Kali, and Ennis were in Beacon Hills with their own packs before forming their all star team, how there was a meeting to discuss what happened between a wolf and a hunter. Apparently, Deucalion used to be a man of "vision" and wanted to avoid bloodshed instead of making it rain down blood.
I guess a hunter killed someone from Ennis pack, shot him in the throat with an arrow before cutting him in half. Gerard. Classic, sick, disgusting thing someone like him would do. He's the worse of the worse in my opinion. A sick bastard who deserves to die for what he had done to so many people, some of them innocent. None the less, it was Ennis who was getting ready for the war that would begin and still go on today.
"Our mark for vendetta.." Peter said as he drew a spiral symbol on the window, staring at it for a few moments.
"Man, you guys really take that revenge thing to, like, a whole new level, don't you?" Stiles asked.
"It's not just revenge." Cora said, making the two of us look at her as she explained. "Losing a member of your pack isn't like losing family. It's like you lose a limb." Cora explained, and I knew she was still feeling the pain of Boyd's death. It was evident.
"They wouldn't even let him see the body.." Peter said, almost sounding sympathetic.
Cora, Stiles and I looked confused, wondering what any of this side story had to do with the story about Derek and how his eye colored changed. "I don't get it, what does this have to do with Derek?" Cora asked, speaking for the three of us.
"Everything." Peter answered. "It's never just a single moment. It's a confluence of events. Personally, I looked at Ennis circumstances and I saw profound loss. Derek saw something different, he saw opportunity."
"Opportunity to do what?" Stiles asked.
"To always be with her.." Peter said, sighing slightly. "The thing was he had this constant fear. He was obsessing over it, thinking about it all night and day. Always on his mind."
My heart understood where Derek's mind must have been at. I feel the same way sometimes, constantly fearing that I'd lose my loved ones. Thinking about losing Stiles, the love of my life..my first love and hopefully my last and only love... It hurts. It hurts and it's constant fear wondering if this is the day that I lose him. It scares the crap out of me, makes me wonder what I'd be willing to do to ensure his safety. Maybe even do something as crazy as having him turn a werewolf so he'd never be harmed.
"I kept telling him not to do it. Everyday the more he thought about it, the more convinced he became. You know teenagers, I bet he even blames me. He probably convinced himself the whole thing was my idea." Peter said, explaining Derek's idea to have Ennis give Paige the bite. So he could ensure her longer survival. So they could be together, longer without worry about how she would be hurt.
Cora looked confused, asking Peter, "Ennis? Why would you choose him?"
"Why not? Ennis needed a new member for his pack. Paige was young and strong. Doing a favor for Derek meant Ennis would be in good with Talia. Back then, everybody wanted to be in good with her." Peter explained why Ennis would agree to give a random teenage girl the bite.
"So because he was scared to lose her, he had her bitten? Subjected her to the life of being a werewolf without the consideration of what it would do to her? How it would effect her life?" Stiles asked, a slight disgust in his voice. Only slightly.. It's probably because we know how this story ends....
I sighed, wrapping my sweater tighter around myself. "He was scared he was going to lose her, that Paige would be a casualty of the war between the wolves and hunters that was starting..He was willing to do something, anything to ensure her safety." I said, looking over at Stiles as I grabbed his hands in mine and stared up at the beautiful boy in front of me. "I can relate because there's nothing I wouldn't do to make sure you were safe..I'd give anything to make sure you were okay.."
Stiles smiled at me sweetly, brushing my hair behind my ear while placing a sweet kiss on my lips. "I'd do anything for you too. I love you, infinity times infinity."
"And longer then that." I smiled back sweetly, earning a disgusting groan from both Peter and Cora from mine and Stiles love declarations in front of them. I turned my attention back to the story we were being told, something in my head just now making me realize it. "He doesn't remember it was Ennis, does he?" I asked Peter, looking over at him with a sadden look on my face.
This entire time, fighting the Alphas, only to learn that...one of them had a hand in Derek's losing his first love.
"If he does, he keeps it to himself." Peter answered quietly.
"So what happened? Did he turn her?" Stiles asked, breaking the sadden silence around.
"Almost..He came at Ennis. A 15 year old boy against a giant. There was no reason for him to fight. She had already been bitten." Peter explained.
I let out a sharp breath, feeling my heartbreak as we were getting near the end of the story. "I don't understand, did she turn? Did she get angry at Derek and leave him?" I asked, kind of wondering if Paige had turned, was angry and left Derek or something far worse.
Turns out it was far worse...
"She should have turned. Most of the time, the bite takes. Most of the time..." Peter said.
Stiles looked confused, looking like something was clicking in his head. "When you offered it to me, you said 'if it doesn't kill you'..." Stiles said, looking at Peter.
"If..."
"I don't get it--....Y-you bit me and Lydia, neither of us turned or died..Well, remained dead in my case anyways. I don't get what you mean, exactly." I asked. I don't know why I bothered, i think I already knew my answer.
"If the bite doesn't turn you, it'll kill you." Peter said, making it more clear for me to fully understand what happened to Paige and how Derek's love story with her ends.
"She didn't make it..." I said, finally letting it sink in. And when it did, it broke my heart. My heart broke thinking about how Derek had to go through that pain. Because I know for a fact, if it were me and Stiles.. I wouldn't survive.
Peter slowly nodded his head. "Down in a root cellar, she was suffering. Her body was rejecting the bite. She was dying, in pain, and she couldn't take it anymore. She begged Derek to end the pain and..-he did."
"He ended her suffering..That's what makes your eyes turn blue? When you kill someone?" I asked, feeling a little weight on my chest.
"Yes."
"But it's not like he murdered her or anything. He just did as she asked, he ended her suffering? That's a little bit extreme and a bit of a stupid reason to have his eyes changed. He didn't murder her." I said, my voice raising slightly at this bullshit reasoning in werewolf supernatural-ness.
"It doesn't matter. It's just how things are. When you take an innocent life, your eyes change." Peter corrected me.
I sighed, staring down at the ground. Thinking about how Derek lost his first love, how she died in his arms... It really gets you thinking about why and how he is how he is today. I think having anyone you love die in your arms would really mess you up. I know for certain if Stiles died in my arms, if I had to be the one to kill him to end his suffering... I don't think I could ever sleep again.
Guess Derek's first love story doesn't have the happy ending I'd want for him, the one he clearly deserves after everything he's been through....