Since I was young girl I never thought happy endings existed, I thought they were just that, something in a fairy tale from far far away. Happy endings seemed much grander and much more definitive; Snow White and Cinderella, they were happy ever after. I always just assumed my life would be Miserably-ever-after, that seemed to be my story. Always waiting for the next battle.
The roads that lead me here were dark, filled with horrors and nightmares I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies. I faced fears that you hope no one else ever has to suffer through because you know long you were stuck there and how hard it was to actually get through it. It took years, and more money that most can afford. It took strength I didn't know I had and more courage than I ever thought I needed.
And now it was all over, and I hadn't had an episode for years, thinking about what I went through, it seemed impossible. An impossible task for an impossible child.
Some things remained, didn't matter what I did you can't get rid of scars, both the physical copies on my body and mental one forever in my head. I have never, and will never, go swimming again. I will never touch alcohol, doesn't matter who asks me. I'll go out with friends and they can drink, and I'll look after them and make sure they don't do anything stupid.
I'll be the control that my friends don't know they need. The only reason I understand it is because I've been on the other end for so long that I can't not think about it. Like a reflex engraved into a skull.
I didn't stick dance out, I dropped out after a year and went into psychology, that's one of what Doctor Logan said I needed to study to get into the line of work I wanted. I realised I wanted to help people like me, I wanted to understand the mind like Doctor Logon does, because then maybe if some poor soul goes through something like what I did, I could help them.
I was never very good at science but I studied hard every day, and Blake and Elliot and Dylan all helped me. More often than not now I stay at their place. The four of us sharing the little flat playing video games and listening to music. I got a part time job at the bar that Blake works at, I hate the job and hopefully I'll move to a better one someday far away from the alcohol but for now it's paying for my uni and study guides I need to buy for it.
I remember when I first told the guys that I was staying they were so happy, I didn't tell them straight away, I texted them asking to meet me at the pub and they came expecting to see me go but then we all had a lovely meal and celebrated. Even Doctor Logan stayed for that.
Marcus and Amy got married, their wedding photos are stunning and the ceremony made me cry, not that I'd ever admit that to them. I'm so happy for them. They're a slightly miss-matched couple but they love each other so much and I'm glad Marcus is happy. He got his happily ever after too. They've been married for two years now and Amy's on her way to give birth to a wonder little boy, and I can't wait to spoil that kid rotten.
Kids will never be in my future, I was unable to carry a child after what happened, but that child will be in my future, and I'll love him as though he was my own. And if anything happens to Marcus or Amy then I'd take him as my own in a heartbeat.
I've broken up with Blake a total of seven times within the past five years since Doctor Logan cleared me to stay, but we always find a way back to each other. I need Blake and even though he can piss me off sometimes, he's mine.
I'm thinking about all this right now, mostly because I have too, school reunions work that way. They make you think, most people reminisce about happy moments, prom, first kisses, friends they've not seen in years. But even as I child I wasn't most people. My memories from my school days were hard to stomach, only made better by the boy I later got to know.
Without what happened I probably wouldn't be here with Blake on my arm. It was a strange thought, as I didn't know if it was a happy thought or a sad thought but it was one I had often. Blake, and Dylan, and Eliot, they were the results of something unthinkable but I'm so grateful that I have them.
They're the ones who convinced me to come back here. The school felt so foreign, and the fact that the party was held in the sports hall made me laugh even more.
"You ready for this, Doctor Clay?" Blake asked me with a smile. He was dressed up in a fancy suit he bought especially for the occasion, said that we had to be the best looking people there and prove everybody wrong.
"I'm not a doctor yet, I've still got to finish passing my exams." I told him with a shake of my head. I keep telling him I'm not a doctor yet but he doesn't care, too proud that I actually learned science, or rather a form of it. Psychology was slightly easier than the GCSE's that I remember or maybe I just had a knack for understanding it now.
"Not long though," Blake said, still grinning at me, "You'll be the most beautiful doctor here."
I smiled and glanced down at what I was wearing. Choosing the outfit that I was going to wear tonight was one of the most stressful things I have put Blake and the guys through. I couldn't have anything that showed off my back, because of the scarring hidden there, and the other scars that was across my thighs that would be noticeable if I wore anything too short. But I was determined to wear a dress, I was a lady, a future Doctor and for once I was happy. I ended up with a knee length green dress with a leather jacket and some big black leather boots.
"I'll be the only Doctor there, genius."
He chuckled "Technically that still makes me right."
"Oh, do shut up. You're lowering everyone's IQ's."
He grinned at me, wrapping a arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him "I hope you won't be this mean to any of your future patients."
"No, just you." I said smirking at him, and jabbing his ribs with my hands.
He filched laughing, eyes glistening. We stared at each other for a long moment, waiting outside the sports hall, me too nervous to go inside yet.
"Do you remember when we first met?" he asked.
"Yeah, and my brother threatened to kill you? Good times."
He smiled, his face peaceful "Never in a million years did I think we'd be engaged back then."
I glanced at the ring on my finger, and smiled at him, but instead of saying anything sweet I said, "You didn't even know it was me back then." I smirked evilly at him "You thought it was this super-hot and popular girl in the year above us."
"I still believe it could have been." He joked, but then he got all serious and the laughter fell from his face "I am so happy that I was such a jerk back then."
I scoffed, smiling at him "Maybe you are!" I laughed "There was better ways you could handle the situation."
"You know me," he said with that dumb puppy smile that made my heart melt "I'm not great a situations."
Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled him into a hug "We all know that."
He laughed into my neck and I felt the vibrations through my whole body "I'm glad I was jerk because it lead me to you." He said so softly that I hardly heard it "Because if I wasn't me back then I wouldn't have even known about you."
"Please tell me you two aren't about to make out." Elliot's voice was suddenly heard and I glanced over a shoulder to see him in a fancy suit similar to Blake's.
"Are you two wearing matching suits?"
Blake and I pulled apart, and he high-fived Elliot "Dam straight we did!" Elliot exclaimed "We're not just celebrating you here!"
I rolled my eyes at the pair and shook my head "Let's get this thing over with then." I muttered
"Oh, it's not going to be that bad." Blake chuckled; wrapping an arm across the back of my shoulders in a way that made me feel so loved and protected no one else could ever mimic "You've got me."
That's the thing about my life, I started this journey with nothing more than a pair of boxing gloves and I could never have predicted what was going to happen. The events that played out even harder than the last, like a video game Difficultly Level: High.
I never asked for Blake to sweep me off my feet and save me, I just asked for my father to stop abusing me, and in return I got so much more than that. I did have Blake, he an unexpected complication in a problem I thought was better off without him in it, but he stuck around and I'm so happy he did. He balances me out.
You just have to keep faith that everything that happens happens for a reason, and without those events, although they may seem devastating at the time, will rebuild you stronger than ever before.
I got my happily ever after, and in it I was alive.
THE END