Chapter 13: Research and Running
I woke up the next morning feeling a lot better, much to my surprise. I once again woke up really early do to nightmares. I stretched, got dressed, ate breakfast in the kitchens and then went to class.
Remus did most of the talking when we did converse with me making the occasional comment. It amazed me how much this guy could smile, I mean you would think his cheeks would hurt.
I also noticed that the ghosts had taken a liking to me. They would talk to me between classes and just at the most random of times. Nick must've went and gossiped about the girl who can't walk through ghosts. Lovely.
After classes I went to the library, I hadn't forgotten about the Seraphim. I wanted to find out more.
So I went strait to the Magical Creatures section and started browsing. It took me a few books before I actually found something.
It read:
The Seraphim are a rare breed of witches and wizards that have an extraordinary array of powers. This rare breed can:
•Empathy
•Wings
•Animalism
•Invisibility
•Barriers
•Death Sense
•Dream manipulation
It is reported thy not all seraphim have all of these abilities, only the most powerful can wield all the powers. It is unknown as to the exact number of seraphim exist, nor the exact location of the only group in England.
It is also unknown of the purpose of the seraphim's existence. Some speculate that they are here to protect the wizarding community, but there is no evidence to support that statement.
That was all the information I could obtain. I was fascinated with the idea of some magical winged creatures out there protecting us. I was disappointed I couldn't find any other information, but I'd take what I could get.
As I was reading I noticed that the space between my shoulders started to ache again. Ugh, could I not get a break?
I started on my homework afterwards and shortly after Remus showed up.
"Hey Remus." I said looking up and smiling.
"Hi Stella. You started without me?" he asked, smiling back.
"Yep, because I'm just so eager to do my homework." I said jokingly. He laughed with me, but we shut up as Madam Pince gave us a dirty look.
We finished our homework with ease and then went to dinner in the kitchens.
"Can I ask you question?" Remus asked as we made our way down the many stairs.
"You just did, silly." I laughed quietly, and entered the kitchen.
He sent me a baleful look. "Why do eat in here all by yourself?" Remus questioned, as we were sitting down at my table.
I just shrugged my shoulders and said." I dunno, I guess I just like the quietness, and the fact that there aren't much people in here." it wasn't exactly 'quiet' in here per say, but it was not as noisy as the Great Hall.
"I see. " He said, though obviously he didn't understand. Which was fine with me, some things you have to find out for yourself.
We ate in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was a comfortable silence that can only occur between friends. After dinner I retired to my room after saying a goodnight to Remus who was staying in the common room with his friends.
I got to my dorm room where I saw the other girls were all in there too. I gave a little wave, and started to get ready for bed. They smiled at me before going back to their conversation. I realized now would be a good time to give Remus his book back, so I grabbed it and suddenly tensed when I realized what they were talking about.
"Anyways as I was saying, my mum was showing me how to braid my hair, an so now I can do you guys' hair too!" Lily was saying with enthusiasm.
My heart wrenched in my chest, I didn't have my mum. She was dead, and she wasn't coming back. I'd never have her.
"Me and my mum had a girls night out, and she took me to the theatre!" Marlene exclaimed. I couldn't take this much more.
"Me and my mum made a ginormous cake for my dad's birthday! We ended up having a frosting fight in the kitchen, you guys should've seen my dad's face when he walked into the kitchen!" Alice giggled lightly with the others.
I felt my hands start shaking, my lower lip trembled. I felt so alone, I wanted to talk to my mum. But... but she was gone forever...
"What about you Stella?" I heard Cheyenne ask curiously. "You and your parents do anything this break?"
Cheyenne, I noticed, wasn't like the rest of her friends. She wasn't as carefree, but seemed to be carrying her own luggage around. She was keeping secrets.
I felt my dorm mates' eyes on my back, I struggled to say something. My voice was thick with unshed tears. "I-I... I need to go." I sniffled and ran from the room, trying to stifle the sobs as much as possible, I still had Remus' book in hand.
I ran down the girls' dorm stairs, and into the Common Room. I was headed for the portrait hole when someone caught my arms. I squirmed in their grip. "Let me go!" I squeaked. Yes I squeaked.
I couldn't see properly with my blurred tear vision, but I knew it had to be Remus. I could just tell.
"Stella! Calm down tell me what's wrong! Please." He shook me, but it was no use. I wanted my mum, not Remus at the the moment.
I vigorously shook my head. "No, no no." I whispered before breaking his grip an dashing for the portrait hole.
"STELLA!" He called after me, just like that day in Diagon Ally. I didn't look back, I just ran through the corridors blindly, all the time crying my eyes out.
I stopped in the middle of a random corridor, and started pacing, clutching my head in my hands. The space between my shoulder blades hurt again. The only thought going through my head though was, I want my mum.
I want my mum.
I want my mum.
I want my mum.
I want-
Wait where did that door come from? There was a large wooden door that hadn't been there a second ago. I tentatively walked over to it and cracked it open, sticking my head in.
"Hello?" I called, my voice still thick from tears. Nobody answered. That's when I saw one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen in my life.
The room contained art supplies to last a life time. I must've died and gone to heaven, I thought. There was paint canvases, sketch pads, and paints of all different colors.
I hesitantly approached the glorious scene, scared it might disappear. This room pulled at my heartstrings. It was like someone took my mum and made her into a room. All the things she liked was in there.
I felt the water works start up again. I walked over to a canvas and picked up a nearby paint brush from a supply cabinet. I painted a picture of my feelings. Dark, sorrowful, and pain. Lots of pain.
I don't know how long I was painting but it was a long time. I was exhausted, I had no more energy. That is until I saw the piano in the corner of the room. A big black, sleek grand piano.
I dragged myself onto the bench, my hands poised above the keys. My mum taught me the piano, she was the reason for me knowing how to do this. I missed her so much. So I played her lullaby, singing along with it.
I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go"
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
Don't you dare look out your window, darling,
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby
Even when music's gone
Gone
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
La La
La La
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, Oooh
La La
Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound...
Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh oh oh.
I finished the song, and I lost it. Sobs extracted themselves from me, in animalistic forms. I sounded like a wounded animal that needed to be out out of its misery.
I was a lost and broken soul, I was just ruining other peoples' happiness with my existence. Especially Remus'. I shouldn't hang around him, but I can't help it. He so readily accepted me, I couldn't even comprehend what possessed him to do that but he did. He befriended the broken girl.
My mum would know how to handle this, but she was gone and she wasn't coming back. I crawled to a sofa in front of a fire, and laid there. Staring at the distorted, tear- blurred flames. The fire was so warm, but I seemed to be cold no matter what the fire was like. I vaguely noticed my shoulders hurting again.
I eventually fell asleep, only to fall into a nightmare plagued by my father. Would I ever get a break?