Saturday 21st
The whole way back to mine, Asher and I stayed close. A slither of a gap sat between our legs in the back seat of the taxi, our forearms pressed together and occasionally our hands brushing against each other's. We angled our heads towards the windows, except for the every few seconds when I would inch my eyes a fraction sideways till I could see him. He'd done the same a couple of times, I'd noticed through the thick silence and darkened back seat.
We didn't dare speak, there wasn't much left to say after our confrontation at Hugo's party. That and our kiss had practically altered me speechless. Enough so that even when we got out the taxi and walked through the lobby of the hotel, we still never said a word. It was only when we hit top floor that he finally broke the brooding silence.
"Is anyone home?" Asher asked me as I slid in my keys and inched open the door. We both stepped forward, cautiously treading forward into the dimly lit entryway. I barely looked sideways to him as I softly put my keys and clutch onto the side table and kicked my heels off to the side.
"I'm not sure," I told him, my eyes running up and down the hallway for traces of my mother. Nothing of hers was out, no bag, no shoes, no coat. But that didn't mean she wasn't home.
Slow and hesitant I crept through our apartment, looking ahead to the living room which I couldn't yet see into. Asher followed behind me till I stopped and he did so too.
"I'll just check," I told him, briefly glancing at him with a reassuring smile, "Wait here?"
Asher nodded, fixing himself to the spot as I began to move forward again in the direction of our living room. From inside the soft chatter of voices reached my ears and I walked in slowly with the expectation of my mother and Mr. Young inside. But it wasn't them.
It was my brother and Grace, stretched out comfortably together on one our lounge sofas. Oliver propped his back on the arm of the sofa, a beer bottle dangling from his fingers. Cuddled into his side, Grace relaxed back, a drink of wine in one hand and laughter bubbling out her mouth.
The scene wouldn't have disturbed me so much if it weren't for the two-other people sat in the room with them. Positioned on the other sofa, opposite my brother and his girlfriend, was Isaac and Andrew. Each slung back into one side of the sofa, they laughed along, a drink in their hands too.
Isaac, comfortable in a pair of jeans and a hoodie I remembered from his days at school, noticed me first. He was cut off mid laugh as his eyes took me in, stood awkwardly in the entryway of the living room.
"Andra," he said notifying the rest of the rest of my appearance. Everyone else on que took their attention away from their conversation and looked to me.
"Hey," Oliver chimed the second he noticed me, a grin slung across his lips. By the glossy glint of his pupils and multiple empty bottle on the glass coffee table, I took it that he was once again a little buzzed, "You're back."
"Yeah," I said, clearing my throat with a rough and abrupt cough. With hesitance I took another step into the room and smiled stiffly in the direction of Isaac and then Andrew.
"Andra," Grace managed to, as soberly as she could, say my name and take me in, "You look so pretty."
"Thank you," I uttered through a feigned tilt of my lips. I looked to my brother then, a confused arch to my brows, "How comes you're here?"
"We're having our own little party," Oliver told me, stretching out his arm and exaggeratively motioning towards the array of beer and wine bottles laid out of the table. I noticed the lack of coasters beneath them and thought to myself of all the ways mum would disapprove of their 'party',
"You do know you have your own apartment for that?" I asked him sarcastically, highly aware of the situation I was in right now. That situation being my brother and ex in one room drinking and in the hallway Asher, a boy I'd kissed less than hour ago, waiting on me.
Oliver released a drunk scoff from his chest just as I snuck a glimpse over my shoulder to check if you could see Ash from the living room. When I knew you couldn't I turned back to my brother and Grace who was beginning to sit up from her laid-back spot beside Oliver. She looked to me and smiled warmly, "Your mum couldn't make it home tonight and asked Oliver and I to wait here for you. She'd heard that Hugo's was going to be a little wild and wanted someone here to check you got in safe."
I had to admit that it didn't sound like something my mother would say, or even bother thinking about.
"Home come you're home early?" Andrew asked me, him furthest away from me in the room. I quickly looked past Isaac, avoiding his piercing gaze, and glanced briefly at Drew.
"It's not early," I said, my brows now furrowing.
"It is for you," Oliver added in, grinning smugly as he threw an arm around Grace's shoulder and brought her softly back to his side.
"Yeah, well I wasn't feeling great," I half lied, still feeling a little lightheaded from mine and Asher's fight and kiss, "Me and a friend thought we'd head back here instead."
It had been a mistake to mention my friend, I knew that the second I'd said it. As soon as the words left my mouth I ached to reach out, grab them and stuff them back in. All because of the curious expression that glossed over my brother and Grace's faces.
"Friend?" My brother repeated, his brows thrown up in interest and eyes piercing me with an inquisitiveness I thought only Caspian possessed.
"Yeah," I nodded stiffly, throwing my arm up and pointing over my shoulder. Slowly I treaded backwards, "I should probably go a-."
I never got to finish my sentence, it fell off the tip of my tongue the second I felt another presence to the side of me. From the hallway Asher had walked in and placed himself next to me. His side knocked into mine and he nodded in the direction of my brother.
Oliver's arched brows dropped slightly, his lips weirdly drew into a smile, "Ash," he said in recognition.
"Hey," Asher said to Oliver, a friendly smile fastened on his mouth.
Next to Oliver, Grace's grin grew wider up the sides of her face as she waved her hand in greeting, "Ash, it's so nice to see you again."
Asher bobbed his head, "You too," He told her politely as his eyes then travelled across the room and landed on Isaac and Andrew who both stared at the boy beside me in off guard confusion.
"Ash there are some good friends of mine," Oliver gestured towards the two, beaming as he introduced the three guys to each other, "Isaac and Andrew."
"Hey man," Andrew said to Ash whilst Isaac just nodded his head stiffly, somewhat an unwarm welcome.
But Asher barely noticed as he turned his attention back to me and then my brother who pointed in our direction, "You never said Ash was going to the party with you," Oliver said to me, light-hearted accusation in his voice.
"It was pretty last minute," Ash stepped in before I could even open my mouth.
"Seems to be your thing, doesn't it?" My brother taunted. I searched for seriousness in his demeanour but saw nothing but playfulness, a pro to either his friendly character or drunken state.
"It's actually Andra's thing," Asher chuckled, his voice light and airy much like Oliver's, "She only ever asks me out like two hours before."
"Sounds like my sister," Oliver laughed before tipping his head in the direction of the two full bottles of beer on the table, his eyes still on us, "You fancy a beer Ash?"
"He's alright," I answered for him, quick and abrupt, practically jumping to reject the question, "We're just going to head upstairs."
Amusement clouded both Oliver and Grace's face at my urgency to get Asher away from this situation. But I guessed they weren't thinking the same thing as I was, that being that I wanted to get Asher away from the room with my ex-boyfriend, friend's brother in. No good could come from putting this many people I cared about, all from different parts of my life, in one room together.
"At least let him have one Andra," Oliver scoffed, torture dancing in his eyes happily, "He deserves that putting up with you."
"You must b-," Asher stopped me mid-sentence again when his laugh broke out beautifully and he nodded in Oliver's direction, "I'll have one."
"Ash," I whispered harshly beneath my breath so everyone else couldn't hear. Though they were aware, all their eyes were on us anyway. Especially Isaac's, I felt his glare digging into the side of me.
"One won't kill," Asher laughed lowly, his hand fitting itself on the small of my back as he moved us further into the room, "We'll go upstairs straight after, I promise?"
He phrased it as a question but we both knew it wasn't. I knew because I was already being pulled down onto the last free sofa with him, our sides crashing into each other's as we used so little of the room on the couch.
"So," Andrew said as we'd all settled down and Oliver began to pass over one of the cold bottles of beer to Asher, "How was the party?"
"It was good," I shrugged whilst beside me Asher cracked open his bottle and took a gulp. He passed the bottle to me and I took it, the cold exterior nice and chilled in the grip of my hand, "Hugo really loved it."
"Bless," Grace cooed, a reminiscent pout to her lips, "It's so sweet of Victoria to organise it all for him as well."
"Mhm," I muttered, between sipping down some of the cold drink. It slipped through my lips and run down my throat, a nice relief from the flustered and hot anxiety that burnt up inside me.
No one else in the room seemed to be in the same nervous state as I was. The rest of them just continued to gulp down their drinks and laugh as Oliver jabbed a finger into his own chest and boomed, "What I really want to know is if Ash finally meet Caspian."
"I didn't," Asher told him, shaking his head side to side as I passed him back his beer, "I think I saw him around, with Chester. But I never got the chance to speak to him."
"Dodged a bullet," Oliver laughed, puffing amused breaths out of his cheeks, "Good choice."
"Ollie," Grace scolded lightly, the back of her hand hitting against Oliver's chest.
"What?" Oliver questioned exaggeratively, "I already warned him last time that Caspian was going to be a little harder to impress."
It was this point that Andrew, who up till that point had shared a slightly more curious, silent gaze with Isaac, finally spoke up, "And why does the he have to impress anyone?" He asked.
"Because he's hanging around with our little sister we need to approve of him," Oliver mused, a sly grin tilted on his lips and his stare set on Asher beside me.
"God," I uttered beneath my breath, frustration and embarrassment staining my cheeks red, "Please stop."
Only Ash heard my quiet words, chuckling lightly and rubbing his thumb discreetly over my knee for comfort. It was anything but, I was too frighteningly aware of everyone else's eyes to be comforted by Asher now.
"So," Andrew frowned, his finger stuck out and jutting in the direction of Asher and I, "You two are together?"
Asher and I both paused, shared a brief glance and then spoke simultaneously, "No," we said together.
"We're friends," I elaborated further, lying in the hopes of settling any qualms in Isaac. But when I looked to him, staring into his eyes, he never said a word, never moved an inch of his expression. It was enough to know that he didn't me in the slightest.
"Isn't that what they always say?" Oliver chipped in again, his waggling index finger still moving in my direction.
Loud, frustrated puffs of air rolled off my chest and in a burst of irritation I began tp pick myself up off the sofa, "Ok, you're drunk and annoying. We're leaving," I grabbed at Asher's hand and started to pull him with me. But when my brother spoke up again, protesting, Asher decided to pull me back down and I found myself in the same position as before.
"Come on," Oliver laughed, "You know I'm only teasing. Don't be so dramatic."
My palms run up to the sides of my face and grasped tight as if I could hold myself together, "Will everyone stop telling me I'm being dramatic," I exclaimed at no one in particular. My brother, Asher, everyone.
"Well you are being dramatic," Oliver told me, his amusement as fixed as ever, "No one here actually cares if you two are together, Andra."
Beneath his arm, Grace nodded her head in agreement. The wandering, hazy cloud covering her pupils told me that she too had a little more than drink than she could handle. She looked at me, through the foggy drunkenness, and shrugged her shoulders, "It's a little obvious, you two did come back here hoping for a free house."
"Grace," I hissed, a burning red blush scorning my neck and cheeks. With my eyes wide and brows drawn up high, I shot her the most accusing look I could muster through my otherwise humiliated expression. I kept my glare on her, not brave enough to face any one of the guys in the room, Ash and Isaac especially.
"Sorry," Grace squealed at realising her blunder, pouting in my direction apologetically. Tipping the wine glass in between her fingers, she pleaded, "I swear it's the wine."
"I told you that you couldn't handle your drink," My brother whistled beneath a breath, his hand running teasingly up and down the length of Grace's arm.
"Oh, hush would you," Grace warned, pushing at his hand but ultimately failing at her attempts at pretend to be offended. Managing to at least contain her smile though, she nudged her wine glass into his chest and then pointed towards the door, "And get me some more wine."
"One bottle wasn't enough?" Oliver taunted, grinning.
"Obviously not," Grace said, "Now go."
Oliver paused momentarily before huffing out a big breath of air. He was caught mid movement though by Isaac who stood to his feet quickly and waved a dismissive hand at my brother, "I'll get the other bottle," he told Grace and Ollie, already moving towards the door.
Grace's lips tipped up at the ends, throwing her boyfriend a pointed glare as she spoke, "Thank you Isaac."
Oliver rolled his eyes instantly, rolling himself back into the comfortable position he was in before and with him Grace feel too. They cuddled into each other and I vaguely heard Andrew mutter some comment to them. My attention was diverted otherwise though. I watched closely as Isaac sauntered out of the living room and out into the darkened hallway. Within seconds he'd disappeared from sight.
Coughing lightly, I cleared my throat and briefly looked at Ash to say, "I think I'll get a glass of water before we head up."
Either I didn't pay attention to Ash or he never payed attention to me because of my brother talking to him, but all I know is that I barely even heard him say, "Ok," before I got out of my seat and slipped away. Following in the path Isaac took, I walked in a rushed pace into the kitchen, swinging the door open and stepping inside.
Isaac hadn't turned on the main light, instead only the dim counter lights shone in the room. He stood on the opposite of the kitchen, back to me as he looked in the fridge.
"Isaac," I breathed, finding it only harder and harder in managing to push his name out my mouth. The more I'd been saying it, the more I'd been wanting to keep it locked up inside me like I had been doing for a year.
Isaac spun slowly then, bringing with him another bottle of Grace's wine. He held it tight in one hand, using his other to shut the fridge, "Hi," he barely said, his voice reserved and quiet.
"You ok?" I asked him, awkwardly treading further into the room. The uneasy stance of his, added with his silence out in the living room made me unsure of how he was feeling or what I should say.
"I'm fine," He said, feigning a half-hearted smile, "You?"
I faked a smile too, a tight-lipped, painful one, "I'm ok," I nodded, still slowly moving forward.
"So," Isaac drew out his words, hesitating for a moment as if he too didn't know what to say. It offered me the slightest bit of comfort knowing he was feeling a little bit the same as I was.
"So," I echoed him, stopping on one side the kitchen island and rocking back and forth on the pads of my feet.
"The party," Isaac said, helping to move the conversation on a little, "It sounded good."
"Yeah, it was," I nodded, watching him as he reached for the corkscrew in the middle of the island and then jabbed it into the top of the wine bottle, "Don't tell Ivy that though, you know how she is about missing out on parties."
Isaac's forced smile remained but he took no actual amusement from my attempt at lightening the eerie mood. Instead he just shook his head and started to unscrew to bottle, "I won't," he told me.
"Where is Ivy?" I asked, briskly moving on from my failed humour, "Do you know?"
Isaac's broad shoulder pinched into a shrug before he popped the bottle with a thud, "She was still home when I left but she was getting ready to leave I think," He told me, placing the corkscrew to the side and sitting down the bottle in front of him.
"Where to?" I questioned, frowning as I tried to remember if she had told me what she was doing tonight.
"She said something about meeting with Alistair," Isaac explained, placing his palms on the edge of the counter and leaning down on his arms.
"Wow," I said, blowing out an impressed breath of air through my checks, "That's good."
Isaac threw his brows upwards towards his hairline but otherwise his expression went back to the straight form it had worn out in the living room, "It is?" he said.
"Definitely, you don't know how good Alistair is for Ivy" assured him, having seen first-hand the happiness Alistair had once installed in my best friend, "You don't have to worry about him with Ivy."
Isaac paused for a few seconds before his eyes went hard and his jaw tightened as he spoke next, "Like your brother isn't worried about you with that kid out there," he said, his tone as tamed as it could be without letting off the amounts of jealousy I had no doubt he was feeling right now.
"Ash?" I said stupidly, nerves wracking my body from the serious stare Isaac had fixed on me.
"Mhm," Isaac nodded, the muscles in his jaw hard underneath his skin, "You sure you two aren't together?"
"Isaac," I whispered, bringing my hands to my face and rubbing them over my tired expression, "Please don't. I don't think I have the strength for another argument tonight."
"I'm not trying to argue with you Andra," Isaac said, his voice quiet but travelling distances, "I just want to know if there is something happening between you and him."
"Does it really matter if there is?" I questioned, my features contorting in pain as I quickly realised how little Isaac and I had moved on in one year.
"It would matter to me," Isaac said even lower but his words hitting me with a force strong enough to knock the air out of my lungs, "You know it would."
"I don't know what yo-," I never got to finish my sentence as the door behind me swung open and the loud noise of it shook both me and Isaac back to reality. I spun round defensively, eyes wide and alert as I took in who stood in the frame of the door.
"Andra?" Ash said, his gaze gravitating towards me.
"Yeah?" I said, swallowing an uncomfortable lump in my throat and in replacement plastering a smile onto my lips, "Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, fine," Asher assured me, a lopsided smile touching his mouth too as he motioned with his head the direction of the hallway behind him, "I just finished my drink an-."
"And you want to go upstairs?" I rushed to say, finishing his sentence for him with an eagerness I couldn't hide. Anywhere was better than standing in the kitchen with Isaac having that conversation. Especially somewhere where Asher was better.
"Yeah," He nodded, his face scrunching in confused amusement at my keenness, "If you're ready."
"Yeah, I'm ready," I nodded, turning my back to Isaac and rushing in the direction of Asher. I took his big hand in mine and tugged him with me all the way out the kitchen and then through the apartment. I pulled and pulled him all the way up the stairs and down the hallway to my room, only dropping my force when we stood in my room, door closed.
We stood together, faced in front of each other as I finally released a relieved sigh and dropped my head down onto Asher's chest, "I didn't think we'd make it out," I muttered into the fabric of his t-shirt.
His chest rumbled underneath my forehead, his hands finding their way to my waist and tugging me closer, "I said one drink, didn't I?"
"One drink was enough time to completely humiliate me," I groaned, rolling my head back and staring up at him.
Asher's grin spread across his face, high on his cheeks as he half-heartedly attempted to assure me, "They didn't humiliate you."
"They did," I scoffed, my hand gathering up a fist-full of his top and gently thumping my hand down on his chest, "And it's all your fault."
His grin remained fixed on his lips as his brows drew upwards and he challenged me, "Oh yeah?" he said, his tone playful and letting me know that he wasn't going to be taking me seriously. I wondered how we managed to get from shouting and screaming at the beginning of the night, to this, teasing and taunting each other in my room. There was no reason or answer to how, it seemed to just be the nature of us. An Asher and Andra thing, the ability of complicated and ever-changing feelings.
"You should have said no to that drink," I told him, flattening my hands against his chest and running them up along his shoulders.
"I couldn't turn your brother down," Ash told me, "That's rude."
"You're rude to everyone," I said to him, relishing in the feeling of his fingers wandering mindlessly up and down my back, "What difference would it make if you were to him?"
"The difference is that it's you brother," Asher said, "And if I was rude to him then you'd be having a go at me for that right now."
Looking up into his eyes, he shared a knowing glance with me and I knew he was right, "Probably," I uttered, a smirk flirting with the tips of my lips.
Asher's grin grew wider, his hands traveling up my arms and resting when they found themselves at my neck, "And I'm starting to think that you're always going to find something to have a go at me for."
I paused again, drawing my bottom lip in between my teeth as I attempted to supress my own grin, "Probably," I whispered again as my own fingers mindlessly drummed against his chest.
A short silence followed then, filling the little space between us as we both stared back at each other. Asher smiled and so did I. I smiled and smiled all until I looked to his lips and remembered what had happened between us at the party. Alarm bells went off in my mind the second I re-pictured us fighting and kissing to the side of the raving party earlier. Suddenly all I could think of was how quick everything was spiralling between us and how I'd end up hurting us both if I weren't more careful.
"We should also probably talk about what happened tonight," I whispered despite the nagging feelings I had which told me to shut up and enjoy the moment.
Asher's smile dimmed but didn't completely leave him and instead of shutting down like I thought he might, he pulled me closer, "You mean our fight?"
"That," I croaked out, nodding as I tore my eyes away from his and looked shyly down at where my hand was over his chest, "And what followed that."
"I don't think that really needs an explanation," He said, his thumbprints rubbing gentle patterns into the nape of my neck comfortingly, "At least not tonight."
My eyes stayed attached too own hands, too unsure of how to handle the situation, whether I should push and make him talk about it. Or whether I just let it go, do what we both really want to do and not have to talk anymore.
"We're both tired, it's late," Asher continued to reassure me, "Not tonight, ok?"
"Ok," I nodded, forgetting what the right thing to do probably was and instead following Asher over to my bed and falling asleep next to him for the third time.
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A/N
Thank you for being so patient with this update, I'm sorry it's taken so long to get up. I really hope you like it, it still needs to be properly edited but I just wanted to get it up for you all. Let me know what you think and what you might to happen next.
Much love.