I never got breakfast.
Because after finally agreeing to some food at 4am, Zak placed me on the couch and headed off into the kitchen to make it himself. But by the time he came back, I had fallen asleep.
I had woken up to find myself covered with my bedding, painkillers sat on the coffee table, a bottle of water beside them and a note telling me that he had to go home. Screwing the note up, I pushed the painkillers down my gullet to stop the impending throbbing that had started at the back of my skull.
Sighing, I laid back and turned my attention back to the ceiling. This time it was illuminated by the break of day, as the warm sun flooded my apartment from the gap in my curtains. Taking a small breath, I decided it was now or never, and pulled myself up off the couch in favour of a shower and doing that research I had thought about last night.
Preferably before my legs got any hairier and I start to resemble a yeti or better yet, a Sasquatch.
Freshly washed, shaved and feeling an ounce of normalcy, I heaved myself around and crashed onto the couch. Looking at the coffee table, I moved the flowers aside and pulled out my laptop.
"Right, let's see what happened.." I spoke to myself and went to power it on when the door knocked.
Shall I ignore it?
I could...
Just make out I'm not ho-
My thoughts were cut short when the door opened and Billy came into view with a phone stuffed between his shoulder and ear as he carried his coffee. His eyes zoned in on my latest wound making them narrow instantly.
Abandoning the idea of closing the front door, he came over, closed the laptop lid down and hung up.
"You've got two seconds to explain how."
I stuttered, blanched and hesitated until he got up and closed the door.
"Well?"
"I fell over. Last night." I admitted.
"On what? How?" He asked.
"My robe got caught around my crutch, uh- there was some banging.. I panicked." I admitted.
"Panicked as in you thought you were being attacked or in the car?" He asked.
"Both? I don't know, I don't remember anything of the crash Billy, but.. Well I smelt gasoline and panicked. When I tried to go back to my room, I fell." I nodded to the floor.
"Jeeze Katy, why didn't you ring me straight away?" He asked moving my hair back to look at it.
"It looks worse than it is. I'm fine, really."
"That's not the point, I would have came over no matter what time, Dian-"
"Zak was here." I blurted out making him pause and my breath to stop.
Why did I say that?
"He was? But why? What time?" He asked confused.
"Uhh, I dunno why, he just was. I mean, he was there when I came around and it was a-"
"Came around?! You passed out?!" He almost shrieked flying up from his seat.
"Billy, I'm fi-"
"Did you go to hospital?" He asked as he punched numbers into his phone with his finger.
"Um, well no. But-"
"Ring a doctor?" He asked interrupting me again as his pacing began.
"No, Bi-"
"So he did nothing?!"
"Oh for Christ sake William!" I snapped making him stop dead in his pacing. Billy's eyes narrowed as he scowled at me.
"Don't call me that."
"Well listen to me dammit. I'm trying to tell you something and you keep interrupting me. Listen, I bumped my head okay? Yes I should have rang you but Zak was here and no I don't know why, he just was. He patched my head up and I fell asleep. End of story."
He let out a harsh sigh "Well someone has some explaining to do. Starting with why he has a key? Why he was here? And how after a head injury, he let you go to sleep?"
I lifted my hands up "All I know is that I gave him a key, apparently. That he came over because I shouldn't have been alone the first night I came home and whilst he made food, I kinda went to sleep, my tablets make me a little drowsy sometimes."
After a scratch of his chin he picked up his coffee and drank it. He purposely took his time to stare at my forehead making me a little self conscious.
"Alright, stop staring." I muttered.
"When did you give him a key?" He asked after popping the straw from his mouth.
"Heck if I know, you know this amnesia shit is getting old, now I plan to get on the laptop and find out some information on this crash so I can piece something or someone together! I just don't get it, I'm a real careful driver Billy, real careful."
"I know, but it's one of those things... Have the Police been around yet?"
I shook my head "No, they came at the hospital, but said once I was home they would return, they are due anytime though."
"Yeah.." He agreed nodding his head.
"Bill, do you know anything? About the accident, I mean. Like was there any fatalities?"
I watched as all the emotion shut down behind his eyes and he tried to fiddle with the flowers Zak had bought.
"Real weird that he remembered your favourite type of flowers, no?" He asked changing the subject.
"Apparently not."
"He's a little odd, he remembers certain things about people, maybe it's cause his gran liked you." He shrugged.
I was fond of his gran, in fact when they spoke on the phone, whilst Zak was reviewing evidence with Billy, and I was hanging around Billy's house like a bad smell. She would always ask after me, mainly because one time I had burst into the room singing The Little Mermaid and Zak had been on the phone. But we would sometimes talk, and I had met her a few times too.
"I forgot she died." I admitted.
He nodded "Amnesia, it happens, it's not your fault."
"I felt so awful, he is still grieving, even after all this time. Isn't he?" I asked.
"Yeah, I think he always will. Those two were real close. He was the apple of her eye, or so the saying goes. And she was his everything. Everything he did and does is in memory of her now."
A few moments passed as I thought of her and the connection she had with Zak. Sure the family bond was there, the bloodline and love. But those two shared a something special, it was unbreakable, and it seemed even in death. That bond was still there.
"How many people died Billy?"
He dropped his head into his hand to rub at his forehead "Kat, please. You don't need to kn-"
"One? Two?"
"Kat."
"How many, Billy?" I forced making him cave in.
"Two.. A mother and daughter." He confessed.
My heart thudded to an almost stop, "I-was it my fault?"
"No." He answered firmly before continuing "A lorry driver decided to tank up his truck and fill himself of alcohol.. He ran a red light. He hit them first, and they spun with so much force that it hit you. On your side of the car."
I blinked furiously as I was overcome with emotions. "H-how old?"
"Katy, you don't need-"
"I said how old?!" I snapped before giving him an apologetic look.
"The girl.. She was 6."
I gasped and covered my mouth in shock. 6 years old and lost her life through no fault of her own, but through the actions of one selfish man who decided to get behind the wheel of a truck and plough through a red light.
"That's no life.." I spoke mostly to myself as I thought of the pain her father must have been in right now, if she had any siblings. Her grandparents.
"It's not. No life should ever be taken too early, I hate it when people say, 'maybe it was their time.' What time did a 6 year old have?" Billy frowned rubbing the plastic of his coffee cup.
I nodded in agreement and took the time to appreciate someone like Billy, who had the same line of thinking as I had.
"Compared to someone like me.." I murmured.
What I though slipped under the radar, was louder than I thought as I felt a pair of eyes beginning to burn my side.
"Don't say that. Don't you dare." He commanded.
"I won't.. But what use am I now? I can't remember anything. Any of the accident, what if I saw something? What if I could help get that little girls family justice? What if I could help? I- It's annoying! I want to remember Billy."
He moved closer and took my hand "And you will. But do not do this by yourself. Wait until you get to the appointments for the cognitive therapy, please?"
"I don't want to keep anyone waiting-"
"Katy, you are poking a wall in your head. Your mind? It lost that information for a reason. Don't break that wall, you don't know what might fall through."
"It can't be that bad... Can it?" I queried as he let go of my hand.
Billy shrugged "Bad enough to put up that wall to begin with."
Silence fell across my lounge as I took aboard his request of waiting for a trained professional to help me remember. The only good thing about waiting would be that I got my side of the story back through their help, not from reading what has been wrote in the papers.
"Have you eaten?" Billy asked looking around.
"No. I don't feel hun-"
"Great, let's get some food. Where do you want to go?"
"I'd rather stay in an-"
"You know what? I'll know a place you'll love. And you're paying." He added getting up and passing me my crutches.
"I don't have a choice. Do I?" I asked looking up at his determined face.
"Nope, I'm hungry so come on skippy."
"Even after being in a coma, you're still a asshat." I replied causing him to let out a laugh whilst he collected my bag for me.
Breakfast... Was good.
It was surprising how hungry I actually was by the time we found a table in a small breakfast café. In fact, I think I ate two meals.. I have no shame.
Billy had been sensible, ordered himself a waffle with maple syrup and bacon. Whilst I polished off 4 pancakes, bacon, eggs and some summer fruits.
"Your appetite is coming back." He grinned as he opened my apartment door.
"Oh dude, I'm paying for it now. I don't know what they were feeding me in hospital. But I swear down, I'm never dieting again. I just want mountains of food."
"Hospital food.. Well people think it's crap, but they mass produce so the love isn't there. It doesn't taste as great cause it's not made with love."
I chuckled "One lady was there, I heard her everyday.. 'You've spat in my food! You've been eating my sandwich!' God she was awful, she must have had Alzheimer's or something. Because they kept telling her the same things over and over again. Plus every evening she had to bless the food because the devil would make people more hungry.. I laughed at first, but by heck I had hunger pains bad."
"That's karma." Billy retorted.
"She would have to bless it and when she was given her porridge in the mornings, the nurse would have to tell her it was made with love. Otherwise she spat it in the nurses face." I giggled.
"Oh nasty!" He cringed.
"Funny, Ethel, I think that was her name." My small reminisce of Ethel turned sour and dark as I looked around my apartment. My eyes eventually landing on the photo of the lavender field.
"Who am I, Billy?" I asked him still looking at the photo.
"What do you mean? You're Katy, sometimes Katherine." He replied.
"I mean, who am I? What am I? Is this really me?" I asked gesturing to my apartment.
He frowned "I really don't know what to say, apart from you worked hard to get this, all of this. You're funny, hardworking, loyal, a great friend. You're surrounded by people who love you. You have a job, you're a photographer. A real good one..."
"But?"
"Nothing. Just don't rush yourself back into work. Your health is more important."
"I won't.." I mumbled walking over to the shelf where my camera was sat. I stared at it for a few minutes before walking away. I knew as soon as I picked up that camera, I would want to work again and whilst it didn't seem a bad thing? I haven't came across a photographer on a set of crutches and full of painkillers yet.
Indagate - To Investigate, To research.