The veil had lifted off of me. And yet, I could feel life giving way. There was a sense of pleasure in that, but I felt a twinge of guilt. What had driven me to crack? To go insane? I felt a dark presence cover me, yet I felt fine. The last thing I remembered was that I had crushed a glass cup with my hand. And then something happened. What did?
As the veil had left, I saw something that others didn't. I saw the outcome of Middle Earth. There were two sides of the hallucination. Once side was good, the other was bad. The Bad side shined through more harshly then the good side. It was difficult to see the good side. I struggled actually. What was happening in the in the bad side was the Mirkwood had been set alight. At first I thought that it had been the lights, floating above the beautiful Elven city, but it was on fire. Elves ran from their houses and dashed out of the fire. Some elves stayed back to fight with invisible forces. Screams were heard and I could see horrible images. I tried to cover my eyes, but I couldn't, I was immobile. The bad side was reaching out to me, beckoning me with it's dark hands. When I refused, the dark hands reached out farther and farther. I could feel the dark breath of the darkness on my skin, raising goosebumps from my arms. A shrieking could be heard from the terrified elven group. The hands reached out and sought my neck, trying to strangle me, killing my soul. I thought that this was how I died. Death by the dark side. But as my life was about to slip away, I heard an elvish spell, "Vara tel’ Seldarine. Ama poldora. ‘Kshonna, wanya‘Kshonna, wanya!" After the last words were repeated, i felt something being sucked from my soul. The pain was unbearable, but as the evil thing left, I could see the light even better. I saw happiness, and families. I sought out Pip and I in the crowd of people among the Shire. I could tell it was us, because we were the only tall ones there. Beside us were two young kids, also tall. Taller than some of the older hobbits in the Shire. We were happy and in a good place. Peace had once been restored. Now, I didn't want to leave. Maybe I was going to go peacefully. Alas, I could not hear anything, feel anything and sense anyone. So, I settled and accepted my fate. This is what I got after going over the edge.
"What happened?"
"A entity. Possession. I had to dispel it. Exorcism."
"I feel entirely guilty for this."
"She had problems. Don't blame yourself. She was psycho." .....smack and hit.....
"Eomer! Do not speak poorly of this guest. She has second powers and a soul that is powerful enough to hold a dark entity and survive enough."
"Well I would not say survive. By this time she is pass- shh!" ....quite....
............... "Hello? What is going on? Oh no! What happened. Is she dead? Did she die? What happened? OH dear! Merry, what happened to you!" ....Crying....
"Merry had gotten in a fight and Alice had heard us fighting about the movement to Helms Deep. She broke and and destroyed everything."
"That is why everything is smashed?"
"Yes."
"Well can you tell me why?" ....sigh.....
"I was thinking that she was....since she...since she is quite different and posses all these qualties that Sauron took his embodiment and slowly leaked it into her body, taking it over. She was strong enough it lasted for days. But she noticed and knew something was up. Finally the two sides of her were giving up an each other and they destroyed each other. Because of this she may not be able to function correctly. At least her mind."
"How and when did it enter?"
"When she had become ill and was brought into Rohan. She was at her weakest. Saruon was a smart one. He knew that she was stubborn and and strong willed. Tough and enduring. Picked small fights, so he knew that if he took over her body, no one would notice until the last minute. But little did he know that she was strong enough to realize her own will power and change..."
I loud ringing rang throughout my ears. I wouldn't be able to function? Darkness covered my thoughts, killing and ripping my soul...slowly...when would this end? I faded away and my mind was blank....
My senses were still gone and I was still dying. The darkness had come out many times and tried to kill me. But like a pattern, good would shine through and scare away the dark hands. The light would hold me and comfort me. But I knew this was good trying to ease the pain of death. My body had taken too much. Then I panicked. With all the energy I had I forced a noise that sounded like the word, "Baby!" I realized that making that much of an effort could harm myself. I could feel that pain shooting through my head.
"What did she just yell?"
"I could make out the word...baby." ....tension...
"Why would she scream baby?"
"Why would I know?"
"She is just dreaming. Her subconscious."
"Why that word?"
"Who knows."
"Well what do we talk about why we wait?"
"Pippin do you have words you would like to say?"
"Yes, Yes I do." ....Scuffling..... "Uh..Alice, do you remember the first time we met? It was when you first came to Middle Earth. Merry and I were calling dibs on you, but you fell in love with Frodo and were proposed into marriage. But you weren't happy. When he left you, you ran to me and told me all your problems. Soon you trusted me enough. I felt happy and finally I had found a love in my life. I guess that our travels made us grow together. At Rivendell, we celebrated our marriage together with people that we know. I know this is making no sense. B-b-b-but, I knew that we were going to live a happy life together Ali, you can't leave me. Sweetie! We have a life together! I want to have kids. Do you? Please answer! Please! Listen! Why did Sauron take you? We all love you. Come on. I don't want to go crazy. Come on!" .....slam....heavy weight on my stomach....crying....
"Peregrin, please...step away from her." ....voices....
"Within a days time, if she does not show any other better signs, we will have to declare he dead." ....gasps....squeals.....
"But what if it takes a couple days. She could heal."
"I know this kind of injury. Internal and in her mind. Not external. She is completely fine!" ....feet scuffling....
"Eomer...please hold Meriadoc back." ...struggling.....
"No! Pip, you have to agree with me!"
"But Gandalf...he knows best...I go with him."
"Why? Why? Baby? What does that mean to you?" ....silent.....
"It means what we could have had...I'm sorry Merry." .....tension.....
"May everyone leave please?"
"Peregrin...what-"
"JUST...please...can I have time?" ......footsteps....door closing....
"Allison. If and when the next day comes, I hope that you are alive so we won't have to deal with this. I love you. Everyone does...but you mean a lot to me. Come on, i cannot repeat that enough...Ever since I met you...."
Voices faded. I couldn't even tell who was speaking to me. They were all blurbs of nothing. Gargling sounds. This wasn't real. I had enough power to think, so I took this time and spoke a prayer.
I know that Sauron is a bad person. I do not know what made Sauron such a bad person. Please forgive him for using my body as a shell. I hope that he learns that what he is doing is tearing families apart. Maybe you could make him a better person. It is hard though.... I tried to think more and more, but even the power to make a thought was impossible...I tried..hard.
Death, light, love, family, hope, calm, desperate, trying, overcome, power, wealth, greed, health, sickness, warmth, food, money, happiness, anger, glee, sound, taste, feel, habit, hobby, no sentence forming. Impossible. Smooth, soft, white, pure light. Drifting away...coming back. Zooming from reality to fake. Night, day. Children, crying, alone. Cold, hot, pain.
A DAY LATER: AFTERNOON.
"Is it time?"
"Are you sure you want to go through with this Peregrin?"
"Yes. Last night, as I was sitting here, I watched her. She is in pain...I hate watching."
"Pip! Why? give her time!"
"Merry, I can handle it. Gandalf, how are we going to go through?"
"A simple elvish spell. It is Lova poldora. It weakens. If we weaken enough, then we won't have to kill. Well technically, we aren't killing. She is already dead. But there is a fraction of her that is still alice...oh I mean alive." ....footsteps...weight...
"Lova Pold-"
"Wait! Gandalf wait! Can I say goodbye?"
....sigh... "Peregrin, she cannot hear you, but of course. Do as you wish.." Pippin leaned over and lightly kissed the limp girl on the lips. I wondered who it was. She looked familiar. Pippin stood up....
I felt someting touch my lips and the air in my body was restored. I gasped and opened my eyes. The brightness of everything had me blinded. It was painful, but I endured it. I tried to sit up, but there was not a lot of energy left.
"Alice! I knew you would come back!" Pippin's voice yelled and tackled me. A sudden pain shot through my body.
"oW!!" I yelled. Why was I so weak?
"Peregrin, careful!" Gandalf spoke.
"Alice, you are alright? Do you feel okay?" Legolas asked me.
"Mhm." I muttered. I could barely remember throwing a plate at his head. "Sorry..plate.. head." I spoke is short sentence. I jumped at my own incoherence. Why couldn't I talk correctly?
"The exorcism has taken a toll on her brain." Boromir explained. I sat there, shocked. I hugged my stomach. The word baby repeated over and over in my head.
"Ali, baby do you need rest?" Pip asked. I looked up at the word baby. I nodded.
"Come on, help her up." Legolas ordered. He walked over and helped me on one side. Merry supported my other side. I tried to stand, but it hurt...I could walk, but the pain was almost unbearable. They set me down on the bed. It felt good to lay on soft fabric. A pillow under my head.
"Pippin." I whispered. He looked at me. People were filing out of the room. I waved my hand as if to show him to comer here. He did.
"What is it?" He asked. I used my full strength to sit up and hug him tightly. I cried into his shoulder. I gripped him, so that he wouldn't leave me.
"No...leave..?" I asked. Or at least I tried.
"I can stay." He told me.
"Stay." I let go and put my head down on the pillow again. Pippin sat on the bed and watched me.
"Love." I said. He smiled.
"Love." He replied. Then I fell asleep.
After falling asleep, I had guessed that Pippin would leave to go talk to Merry about my condition, but alas he did not. He stayed near me the whole time. He even attempted to talk to me, trying to speak like I did. That was what bothered me. Would I never be able to speak normal again? Hopefully I would be able to talk normal. I hoped that sleep would heal all wounds.
I woke up in the evening. Pippin had waken me to come and tell me that dinner was ready. I was afraid of the main hall. Because of the events that had happened to me there. I tried to tell Pippin.
"Pip, scared. Bad...main hall." I struggled. I became slightly mad that I couldn't speak, but wasn't mad enough to hurt anyone like the day before.
"I know. Hold my hand. It is going to be okay." He reached out his hand. I took it. I slid off the bed and watched as the children slept on the bed. They had been on there the same time I had.
The two of us had walked along the hallways into the Main Hall. I became fearful. So many bad memories.... I looked at the people sitting at the table. They did not look very happy. Was it my fault, or was it something else? I think that only Theoden looked pleased. We sat down. Theoden looked at us.
"I have you gathered here, not only because it is time for Supper, but I have made a decision. Based upon the multiple events that have happened...I have decided to move everyone to Helm's Deep." There was a great silence. Not a noise was made. Helm's Deep was a...fallout shelter in case of anything bad.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because, they children had run from their village. Running from uruk Hai. That town Westfold is quite close to us. And what has happened upon your arrival, I feel that something is tracking us." I listened to Theoden. His theory didn't make any sense. Why couldn't we stay and fight? Helm's Deep would only box us in and make us more vulnerable. Especially while traveling there.
"Are you sure you want to make that choice?" Aragorn asked. He seemed worried about the decision Theoden had made. For the first time, in a long time, Aragorn and I agreed on something.
"Yes I am sure. It is the best choice. All is settled eat! We leave tomorrow!" With those final words, everyone became quiet. But we still ate. No one would pass up food. But it was very unusual that no one talked. People barely drank. I was in shock when Gimli passed up the liquor! Something had really messed with us. I think that everyone was thinking about the move to Helm's Deep. I hoped that they were not thinking about me. I barely wanted any attention within this matter. I had caused enough commotion within the trip. I had stirred up a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have. I looked around and saw no children. Where were they?
"Pip...kids? Gone? Scared...me?" I struggled to put a sentence together.
"Oh...err...um the kids..they...Aragorn and Eowyen had taken them. They knew you were going to crack. They didn't want the kids to be scared of you."
"Oh. Merry? Blood...mouth... okay?" I remembered when I had seen Merry lying limp on the ground. I had worried about him.
"Merry is fine. He had to sit out this dinner. His eye is swollen. He says that it was brave of you to protect him." Pippin explained. I nodded.
We ate in silence. Everyone was taking in what we learned. We were moving to Helm's Deep within a day. I was scared. I was scared of the vulnerability that I would have. Dark forces always like to choose me as a portal. Demonstrated withing my dream in Rivendell and the current possession that had happened. That was when I protected by the walls of a city. This time we will be out in the open! Imagine what could happen! I freaked out and began to inhale and exhale rapidly.
"Excuse...me." I said. THen I sat up and walked out of the main dining hall. I walked in circles and decided to go back to the room. That was where I would be okay. I would be safe...I walked down the halls and corridors.
"Me...why? Why? me...?" I rambled. I threw my hands up in frustration. My sentences would not form right! I stomped down the hallway. Well at least my personality returned. Now the guys would have to deal with a speechless, attitude filled girl who wants to fight.
I entered the door of the room and collapsed onto the bed. I told my self not to cry. Be calm, don't cry.
"Why why why. Me? Sorry...baby...sorry. Tried. tried best..." I said. My mind became jumbled and I fell asleep. Maybe I would be better?