"My past will remind me but it will not define me."
-Andy Stanley
|Reader's POV|
It's hard fighting a monster that wants to slaughter you without a weapon.
Desperate as ever, I continued to duck and dodge, barely escaping near death. The Oni's attacks never slowed down, nonstop rapid fire of punches relentlessly attempting to hit me.
I narrowly dove to the ground, the creature leaving behind a hole in the wall after its attack to my head. It retracted its arm from the wall, dust and stray pieces of wood raining down on my back. I breathed heavily, curling my fingers into a shaking fist.
No matter what I tried, I couldn't summon my sword. Not when a familiar, yet mysterious voice kept whispering in my head,
'YoU wOuLd'Nt DaRe dRaW YoUr wEaPoN AgAiN.
nOt WhEn yOu KiLLeD aLL tHoSe InNoCeNt pEoPLE.'
'S-Stop it...'
Images wildly flashed through my mind. Pools of blood at my feet, cries of terror falling short, the looks of surprise on their faces when their seemingly innocent, kind guide sliced a knife through their necks.
'EvEn iF YoU hAvE KiLLeD bEfOrE,
fAcE It, LiTtLe (nAmE),
YoU wiLL NeVeR KiLL mE.'
"What you say is true." I whispered, pushing myself onto my feet. I shut my eyes for a few seconds, whipping them open with a smirk on my face, as if to signal the Oni to attack me. I bent my knees in preparation, lifting my arms in front of me.
"I don't deserve to wield my sword now that I know I've killed so many people with it." I spoke calmly, concentrating intently. My eyes scanned the Oni as it swung its arm at me. My body reacted effortlessly, ducking my head to avoid its right arm and crossing my arms against my chest to block its left arm. "I also would never be able to kill you, you're right." I continued through gritted teeth, nodding stealthily.
BANG
With a wave of Russia's pipe and a twirl of China's wok, two hefty weapons crushed both sides of the Oni's face. I swiftly pivoted to the side, releasing the pressure from my end so gravity pulled the Oni towards me.
"But that's in the past. Before there was no one on my side, but I'm not alone anymore." I drew my arm back, a familiarly warm glow enveloping my hand. A sharp crack of Germany's whip along with the blinding light kept the monster's jaws at bay.
"I may have killed before, but I changed. I will fight to protect the people I want to protect, and if I have to kill to get rid of something threatening my friends..." I turned to face the monster, raising my voice at the same time I raised my blade to its neck. "I will, doubtlessly, kill you." With both hands gripping my weapon's hilt, I mercilessly slashed my sword through the thing's neck. The Oni finally retired, buckling its knees as it disappeared.
I brought my legs together, straightened my back and let myself relax, fresh blood splattering to the ground when I brought my arm to my side. "Good to see you again." I softly said, glancing down at my blood stained sword. I grasped it tightly and looked up, various pairs of eyes staring at me, all with the same glimmer of respect tinted with a bit of shock. "And good to see you all again, too."
Germany was the first to approach me, gently dropping his huge hand onto my shoulder. "Welcome back, (Name)." He said, his blue eyes shining with pride.
"I have to admit, that was quite wonderful." England nodded firmly, a small smile creeping onto his slightly upturned lips.
"I'm a little jealous, I never would've been able to defeat that thing as easily as you did. Nice job." Canada chuckled, embarrassingly scratching behind his neck.
"Mm-hm, that was so good maybe you should become one with Mother Russia, too~!"
"Aiyah, (Name)!" China stomped towards me, squeezing between Russia and Germany to look over me carefully. "You almost gave me a heart attack, don't go doing reckless things like that without us around, okay? Are you hurt?"
I giggled. China's pout was just so funny that I couldn't just not laugh. I held out my forearms, revealing how they covered with scratches and small cuts. "Just a little stinging from these, but I'll be fine. Thanks for worrying about me, China."
"We're all worried." China stated quietly. "The others are right, you are very skilled with that sword of yours...but be careful, please."
I smiled and pat China's head. "I will. Thank you for helping me back there." I looked up at Russia. "You too."
"You are welcome, little devushka."
"(Name)?"
Germany moved to the side, revealing Italy. He crouched down beside me, holding out his hand. An Onigiri sat on his palm. "Ve, you did amazing~! Take this and rest up."
"Thanks, Italy." I grabbed the Onigiri gratefully, taking a bite. Upon swallowing a few bites, I felt re-energized already.
"Um?"
I weakly cocked my head to the sound, meeting Japan's gaze.
"You're late to the party, Japan. Oh, by the way I kinda killed the thing while you were gone."
"...What?!"
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"Gomen!"
I raised an eyebrow, staring at Japan's back when he bowed down in front of me. "Japan, what are you apologizing for?"
"If I hadn't been faster with getting that key, I could've helped you. I left you alone, and by doing so you ran into trouble. I was trying to protect you and I led you right to danger. Gomen."
I blinked a few times. I began shaking my head, laughing a little. "Oh, Japan, Japan." When he straightened his back, I gave his arm a soft punch. "You're being silly. That's all in the past. First off, there was no way to avoid that Oni's attack. Someone had to deal with it. Second, I should've been strong enough to handle it on my own. If you keep swooping in to rescue me, I won't ever be able to be independent and get stronger. Third, I wasn't alone, only for a little while. The others helped me. So don't unnecessarily put yourself down, okay?" I grinned and turned around, starting to walk toward the rest of the group. "Speaking of the others, let's go to them."
I continued walking, subtly looking over my shoulder. Japan stood in place for a few seconds, taking it in. He broke into a tiny smile and followed behind me.
"Before we go, though, we have to settle this memory confusion."
"Each one of you has three minutes. If you have something to say, raise your hand."
I rolled my eyes playfully. That's definitely something Germany would say.
"Er, can I go first, then? I don't think it's just me, but...didn't you notice anything when you broke the clocks?"
"......You noticed it, too?" China exclaimed in surprise, receiving a single nod from England. "Then it wasn't just my imagination."
"You mean we all get false memories whenever we break a clock?"
"R-Really?"
"....."
"When we broke the clock in the piano room, I got memories of coming here with Japan and others. But..."
"They aren't real." I finished off China's sentence. "You couldn't have went with Japan because the people I first met were Japan, Germany, Prussia and Italy. Then after a while the second group came in, which were China, Russia, Canada, America, England and France."
"So that means your memories are in order? Then what happens to you when we break the clock?" Japan asked.
"Remember when I said I knew literally nothing about myself when we first met? Well I've been getting my memories back. Real ones." I explained, shivering slightly. "And let's just say that my backstory is tragic as heck. I don't really want to talk about it."
"You don't have to, you deserve your privacy." Japan said. "But if it's giving you any problems-"
"I'll tell you guys. Don't worry about me. You should focus on sorting out your memories."
"Yeah." Russia agreed. "Our memories are all tangled, but first, let's try to remember how we started."
"It all started at the world meeting. We were all gathered in a single place, including those who are missing now." England began.
"Right. There is no doubt that this was where we we started." Japan closed his eyes, his expression thoughtful as he began to recall his memories. "So, America had heard rumors about this mansion and said he wanted to come to see what it was like."
Canada piped up, "The meeting had ended and we had nothing better to do, so I came with America, China, Russia, France, and England..."
"We also invited Japan, but he didn't come." China nodded, the confusion slowly easing from his face. "That's why I sent him a message right before I came into the mansion."
"When he saw that message, Italy began to say that he wanted to come, too, and the three of us headed here, along with my brother."
"......Yeah." Italy replied slowly.
"But I also have different memories. I remember coming with America and Japan, and it was China who got separated from us, not France." England looked around with an eyebrow raised.
"Maybe we're getting confused because there are several mixed memories?" Italy suggested. "We don't know which one is right...and it makes us draw the wrong conclusions."
"Ah, that's also an idea...When false memories get mixed in to hide the truth, we get confused and don't know what is what. And once you suspect something, everything else becomes suspicious." Russia interpreted.
Italy proclaimed, "Well, then, that means that from now on, whenever we break a clock, we'll get a lot of false memories, but we shouldn't believe any of them!"
"If we invite confusion...Right, I think we must discard those fake memories without believing them." Japan added in.
"What a bother." China spoke in an irritated manner. "Also, we have to be ready to get strange memories while we break the clocks."
"Right. If you can discard them without worrying about them, you should definitely do so. Anyway, I'm going to break this clock. If you get any strange memories, just forget about them right away."
'If only it were that easy, Germany...'
"Don't forget whom you came with or how you came to be here now."
"Y-Yeah, if we don't break it, time won't go back to normal. We have to break it as soon as possible."
"All right, then..."
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"So, (Name), why did you want to come here to the mansion?"
'This memory again?' I thought in puzzlement.
"Oh, me?"
My younger self looked off in the distance, eye twitching subtly.
---
I followed her gaze and once I blinked, we were suddenly in a different scene.
My invisible, ghostly self examined my surroundings, which were a regular house. I glanced out the window and squinted, spotting the mansion from in between a swarm of trees.
'She-I mean I was looking at this house.' I pieced it together in my mind, starting to walk around the place. I passed by a wardrobe, spotting a picture sitting atop the mahogany wood. I bent down to inspect it, my eyes widening. 'This...is my house.' I reached over and brushed my finger against the dusty glass, staring right back at my younger self, who was standing beside Alexandra with a grin on her face.
All of a sudden, the cry of a sharp crack sounded throughout the house, so powerful that it shook some of the furniture. I flinched, my heartbeat unexpectedly racing with adrenaline. I swiftly headed toward the sound. The closer I got, the more different kinds of noises I heard. There were yells, shouts and sobs.
I located the room the sounds were coming from. I sucked in a deep breath and eased through the small crack in the doorway.
I pressed my back against the wall, clasping my palm over my mouth and biting my lip to keep from screaming.
"What is wrong with you?! Why do you always do this to her? She didn't do anything to you!"
"She existed." A middle aged woman roughly grabbed me by the hair. A vile, repugnant smirk crossed her face as the little girl I once was thrashed wildly. I was trembling violently and breathing unevenly. "That's what's wrong, sweetie."
I winced every-time she drew that whip back behind her back and unleashed a storm of misguided anger on my younger self. The sound of that whip combined with maniacal laughter of that crazy woman made my eardrums bleed.
"Stop." Alexandra whispered. She picked herself from off the ground and walked right up to her own mother, slapping her across the face. "Enough." She looked right in the woman's eyes, her own a blazing, wild fire. "To hell with you." She hurried to pick me up, carrying me in her arms.
Alexandra ran out of the room, her quick footsteps echoing in the empty house as she bounded down the staircase. I peeked out the room and saw her sprint out the door, slamming it at her heels.
---
Another blink of my eyes and I appeared sitting on the branch of a tree, not too far from off the ground. Holding the tree trunk to keep me steady, I leaned forward and looked down. Alexandra carefully placed me down on the ground. She took off the (F/C) hoodie she wore and pulled it over me. The sleeves covered my hands and the end of the hoodie sagged so it didn't stop at my waist.
"It's a little big, as you can tell," Alexandra laughed and pat my head, pulling me into a tender hug. "But you'll grow into it."
I smiled, looking down at the hoodie I wore now. It was quite comfy and I had always wondered where I got it from. Now I know.
'Yeah...I did grow into it, didn't I?'
---
I was back at the scene where I first saw Jasper and Rina. I was actually reliving it this time in my younger self's eyes.
I glanced at Jasper and Rina and gave a smile,"I just wanted to come because Ally wanted to come!"
"Really, sis?" A hand dropped on top of my head, warm and comforting. I slowly turned my head to look at Alexandra, my breath falling short.
I inhaled sharply. The Oni's hollow eyes looked straight at me. I scurried away, stumbling over a stray limb. My eyes fell onto the bloodbath but I quickly looked away, holding my breath, repeatedly telling myself not to vomit. The monster seemed to be satisfied as it walked away from the scene and out of the room.
"I never, ever want to forget what I did." I spoke in a soft whisper. I retrieved my sword from within a pool of sticky blood. I rolled up my sleeve and dug my blade through my skin, carving three marks on my wrist. When I was done I threw my sword away and shakily lifted my arm to stare at the droplets of blood that ran down my skin.
"I'll never forget my past."
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I woke up in a cold sweat, quivering like crazy. I sat upright and looked around, thankful that the others were still experiencing their memories. I would've hated it if they've seen me like this.
After a while I was able to calm myself down, bit by bit...but the curiosity was killing me. I wanted to know. I needed to know.
I steadily tugged the sleeves down on both of my arms.
My breath caught at the sight of the rows of marks spiraling around my wrists and down my forearms.
I collapsed onto the floor, sighing deeply. I have one hell of a past.