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Hey Readers! So a while ago, someone asked me when I would be finishing Let the Rain Fall....To be honest, i have no idea....I'm not even close to finishing it! It probably won't finish until the end of the year actually...This book is almost at a hundred pages, which would mean it would be my longest book on my profile...hot damn...Anyhoo, here's Chapter 29, ENJOY!!!
P.S I think I must've been drunk or something but I just noticed I accidently made Mirajane and Lisanna and MOTHER AND DAUGHTER....DEFINETELY NOT INCESTY AT ALL! and I think I just made Elfman like completely separate from the family in total.... so yeah, I apologize, I think my mind was in a loop or it was just filled with the shock from the latest Sherlock/Doctor Who/Pretty Little Liars/ Twisted/The Fosters/Grey's Anatomy/Bones/Awkward/Criminal Minds/Dance Moms, etc....
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Natsu P.O.V
"This is getting irritating," I grumbled to Gray and Elfman in my bedroom. While they were on my bed finishing up their English homework, I couldn't help but continuously check my phone every other minute. Lucy hadn't talked to me in almost a month. I've texted her about a million times, but she's given me no reply. Erza wasn't telling me anything, and Levy was under house arrest, so I couldn't really rely on them either. Elfman looked down at me and asked, "Have you tried actually tried to go to the hospital?"
I nodded. "My godmother won't let me visit her because of some privacy thing. If Lucy doesn't want to see me, the hospital will enforce it."
"Do you know why she's avoiding you?" Gray asked.
"It's because of the effects of chemotherapy. One of the effects is loss of hair loss and I think she's scared of what my reaction will be."
"That girl had the most amazing hair in school," Elfman sighed. "So long and silky and light that only a MAN could be worthy of being near it." Gray laughed and pushed Elfman off the bed. I groaned at my friends' stupidity. "When was the last time you talked to Lucy?" Gray asked.
I thought back and concentrated in my memories. "It was our birthday. I had made a giant surprise for Lucy. We were having fun, and then..." My face burned with embarrassment. I buried my face in my hands to hide the pink on my face. Gray and Elfman looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?" They asked in unison.
"Well, we kissed the way we always did, and then...I got really excited."
"Wait...you slept with her!" Gray exclaimed. I shushed him, reminding him that my little sister was downstairs. "I didn't, I swear! It's just that one moment, I had forgotten what it was like to deal with...a virgin."
Gray and Elfman looked at each other and said, "Ohhh," as if it had all become so clear. It was true that I wasn't a virgin. I lost my virginity after the first week of high school with this one girl I had a fling with in my Spanish class. And when I began dating Eloise in the beginning of our sophomore year, we began sleeping with each other before even dating for a month. I had remained a bachelor ever since we broke up last summer.
"Bro...that's gotta be tough," Elfman sighed.
"You have no idea," I sighed back.
"I mean, we've only been dating for a few weeks, but Juvia and I are even getting a little kinky lately."
Silence. Elfman and I stared at each other for a moment, and back at Gray. "You're dating Juvia Lockser?!"
He nodded proudly. "Yup! Finally got the guts to ask her out during winter break. Found out she had mutual feelings for me."
"Whoa...And is she really that kinky?" I asked. Gray made a sly smile and licked the side of his lip. He motioned us to come closer to him, and whispered, "After school, she always wants to do is make out in the pool." I blushed wildly and grabbed a pillow and squeezed it. Elfman practically gave Gray a five-star and exclaimed, "'Atta boy! Scoring a swimmer and a gymnast I see!"
"You're a lucky man Gray," I snickered. As we continued to gradually talk about Gray's newest relationship, I couldn't help myself but to think back at my problem with Lucy, despite how hard I tried. But all that was on my mind was Lucy, Lucy, and Lucy.
When I arrived at the hospital a few hours later, I met up with Mirajane at the front desk. She gave me a welcoming smile. "Hey Mira."
"Natsu, what a surprise! Are you here for Lucy?"
I shook my head. "Can I talk to you in private?" Her face looked confused, but she nodded anyways. We stepped into the office that her and Dr. Laxus apparently shared. I noticed a picture of the two of them drinking at a local bar, apparently having a fun time. Mira's head was resting on Laxus's shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her waist. "Looks like you two are beginning to get a little cozy, aren't ya?"
Mirajane saw what I was looking at and blushed. "Yeah, I guess. We started hanging out a little more around Christmas night after Lisanna went to some Christmas party at a friend's. I was at a bar, he happened to be at the same bar. We talked, we laughed, we drank, and one thing let to another....he kissed me."
"Gaah! My virgin ears! All this adult talk is too impure for my innocent mind!" I joked. She threw a box of rubber gloves at me breathed, "That's funny coming from you. Now, what seems to be the problem, Natsu?"
My silly grin slowly turned to a serious frown. I sat down on the chair in front of the desk. I began to fiddle with my fingers through nervousness. "Is Lucy getting any better?"
Mira frowned. She sat down on the chair and was no longer my godmother, but my girlfriend's nurse. "The chemotherapy is slowing the cancer down, but it isn't killing it. She is beginning to show quite a lot of side effects of the treatment: insomnia, taste changes, headaches, hair loss, weight loss, nausea, shortness in breath, and fatigue."
"Why hasn't anyone found a cure? I mean, I know Levy's brother has!"
Mirajane sighed. "What Lucas McGarden found was a cure for brain and breast cancer. The differences between the brain, the breast and the heart in terms of treatment and medicine is huge. The only benifit of all this is that Lucy has been bumped up National Transplant List."
A spark of hope ignited within me. "So Lucy has a chance!"
"She's not at the top of the list, Natsu. There are still a lot of people above her who still needs to get a transplant, heart or not."
"Well, what are her limitations? What can't she do compared to Erza or Levy?" Mirajane looked through Lucy's file, which was pretty thick since she's been here for the longest time. Mira jabbed her finger at a page and said, "She can eat a limited amount of fatty foods. She can't exercise a whole lot, probably a light jog or walking-"
"Well," I interrupted, feeling a burning sensation in my cheeks. "What about...sexual activity?" I couldn't believe I had just asked my godmother that. This was also Lucy's aunt too! She raised her eyebrow and folded her arms. "Natsu Thaddeus Dragneel, did you just-"
"You're my girlfriend's nurse in this office, not my godmother or her aunt!" I said in my defense. She gave me a slight growl and sighed. "No, she can't have sex, otherwise it could make her heart beat too fast and increase the growth rate of the tumor."
"Oh...Alright then, I guess I'll go-"
"Natsu, wait," she said, making me freeze. She combed her fingers through her shiny white hair and breathed with irritation. She looked at me with her sincere eyes and transformed back to her motherly self. "My niece, your girlfriend, has only been awake for a year. She has had to catch up on society at such a fast pace that could've made other people's brains melt. After her second month of being awake, I had to give her the sex talk: about what happens, what you should do, and the effects of it...I swear, I have never seen a girl so terrified than that moment. I mean, this is the girl who thought babies were made of spirits and fairies, Natsu! I just...I just don't think she would be ready for that kind of experience yet. She may not physically look like it, or talk like it as a matter of fact, but inside her mind, she is still that small, fragile ten year-old girl with a stuffed rabbit on one hand and a juice box in another.
"And this cancer isn't really helping her mental state either. I walk by her room a hundred times a day, and sometimes, I can just see her crying in a pillow. She cries in her sleep and has nightmares all the time nowadays. Poor Acasia does everything she can to calm her. Sure, there are times where Lucy can be as happy and bubbly as the sun itself, but when she's not that, she's a scared and timid little girl...Natsu, you need to understand that cancer itself doesn't kill you...It's the constant thought and realization that you might die that does."
I felt as if a bullet had just been launched into my brain several times. I could suddenly feel my body shaking, losing all feeling from the waist down. I could tell by the one tear falling down my cheek that I was beginning to break down.
I rarely cried around other people, and usually it would because of a deep, emotional scene from a movie or because a dog got ran over. The only other time I had actually sobbed was when we found out about the cancer. Not only was I crying hysterically, but it was right in front of Mira. I could hear Mirajane get up and walk behind me, rubbing my back gently. I just couldn't stop crying. "I'm...I'm so lost, Mira...I...I just can't."
My godmother continued to whisper, "It's alright, it's alright," over and over again in attempts to calming me down. I could slowly feel myself breaking away. I felt horrible. I was so caught up in myself and my desires when I had blindly forgotten about Lucy.
Now what kind of a boyfriend would do that? What possible human would do that?
Lucy P.O.V
I loved it when Len surprised me with wonderful things. I was just reading a book with Acasia when suddenly Len came inside with his violin, along with some of the vocalists and and musicians from our drama troupe, who were all wearing a sweatshirt . I closed my book and asked, "Len? What are you guys doing here?" One by one, each oth them took off their sweatshirts, revealing a surprising picture of me when I was little with a mouth stuffed with cake and a cancer symbol around it. I gasped and covered my eyes. "Where on earth did you get this picture!" I cried with laughter.
"I found it in one of mom's old boxes and decided to turn it into a t-shirt," Len explained.
"We passed them around our drama troupe, schools, stores, and everyone else who cares about you," Vlad, a cellist, said. I smiled and clapped with gratitude. "You guys are too nice!" They all grabbed chairs and sat all around me. Len and Vlad, along with percussionist Jessica and director Lauren. I introduced my friends to Acasia, who just passively waved hello. "How are you doing, fighter?"
I shrugged. "I'm doing alright. I'm used to this kind of environment, so it doesn't feel weird or anything. Most of the time I just hang out with Acasia."
"We're what we call 'Cancer Sisters'," Acasia sighed. "I have the throat cancer and she has the heart cancer."
"But you're the one who still has the hair," I pointed out. Acasia smiled and combed her fingers through her long auburn hair. I looked back at my friends and asked them one more time, "What are you guys doing here?"
Len looked over at Vlad and the others and said, "I believe it's time to liven up your hospital stay." Len took out his violin, Vlad took out his cello, and Jessica with her tambourine. I covered my mouth and gasped, "What are you guys planning?" The minute Len played the first musical note, I knew immediately what was happening. The upbeat sounds of the violin, the vibrant sounds of the tambourine, and the deep, baritone noise of the cello: it was My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music; the very first musical I had ever performed in. I felt my face blush and I laughed with embarrassment. I suddenly noticed Lauren pointing a camera straight in my face. I quickly looked away and said, "Nope, nope, nope! I am not singing!"
"Aw, c'mon Luce!" Acasia urged, tugging on my t-shirt. I covered my face with embarrassment. I was always embarrassed to sing in front of people, even when I was performing. I slowly revealed my face and passively began to sing. It had been a while sing I had sang, so I felt a little rusty. But everyone's eyes widened to the minute I sang the first E minor. As the music became more hyped up, I jumped off the bed with Acasia and began to pull out our multi-colored sheets. I sang as the both of us flew around in our sheets. Lauren followed us with the camera as we ran around our room. We twirled, we jumped, and we slid around the room (but not hard enough to make my heart burst like a balloon).
"Aaand cut!" Lauren cried the minute the music died. I laid on my bed slightly panting from exhaustion. With the extra deadly piece of meat on my heart, I've been more exhausted than usual. Acasia was lying next to me, looking at me with wonder. "Your voice is beautiful," she sighed.
"What? No, I'm just an amateur."
"Amateur my butt," Len snickered. "You sounded amazing!" I blushed at my little brother's praise. I hid myself under my covers and exclaimed, "You're making me blush!" Everyone laughed at my embarrassment. That day was one of the first days I had actually felt a little normal. For that one moment, both me and Acasia acted pretty...normal.
Later that day, all my friends and my brother had left and Acasia had a health exam, leaving me all alone. I lied in bed with stacks of pudding cups by my side and the theme song of Sherlock playing. Despite everything I was eating, I was still drastically losing weight. I went from weighing 130lbs to 110 lbs in these past few weeks. I could feel my health deteriorating. I was getting weaker, and my for a minute when my friends were here, I thought a miracle would just appear, but I was wrong.
Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. Before I could ask who it was, the door opened, and Natsu slowly came walking in. I gasped and quickly put on my beanie to hide my baldness. I grabbed she sheets closer to me and lowered the volume of the TV. I hadn't seen Natsu in weeks due to my chemotherapy. I was too embarrassed to see Natsu so frail and...well, bald of all things!
But to my surprise, Natsu looked miserable. His eyes were puffy, his face was wet with what could've been tears, and his hands were shaking. I sat up more straight and asked, "Natsu, what's wrong? You look terrible."
He sniffed and laughed. "Yeah, I do, don't I?" He sat down on the corner of my bed and stared at me, and then at Juliet who was lying next to me. He raised his hand and gently brushed it against my cheek. I flinched with fear, but he didn't take that into consideration. "I've almost forgotten how beautiful you are," he whispered.
"Don't say stuff like that," I said, feeling my face blush, "you're embarrassing me." He laughed, but it wasn't his usual chipper laugh. No, it was more...sad. It was like he was dying on the inside out. I grabbed a tissue and wiped Natsu's face. He tried to push my hand away, but I urged to keep drying his face. When I finished, he grabbed my hand and said, "We...we need to talk."
"Talk? About what?" I asked. His eyes were even more depressed than ever. He grabbed both of my hands and made our fingers intertwine. "You know that I love you, right?"
I nodded and passively said, "I know, and I haven't been expressing my love for you...and I'm sorry about that."
He smiled sadly. "You don't have to apologize. You're dealing with so much...So about what I've wanted to talk about...I've realized something."
"What have you realized?"
"I realized...That everything that has happened to you...Your accident, your heart failure...Everything has happened all because of me."
My eyes widened and I shook my head rapidly. "No, Natsu-"
"Let me finish. I believe that...if you weren't around me, you wouldn't be hurting as much as you are now." My heart suddenly stopped. My eyes were debating whether or not to release tears yet or not. My voice began to crack when I asked, "What...What are you trying to say?" Natsu released a sobbed breath. I could tell that this was hard on him. He sniffed, looked up at me, and said, "I think we should take a break for a while."
At that moment, my eyes knew that it was time to release the tears. "Was it something I did? Because I swear to God I'll do anything to make you ha-"
"That's the point, Luce! It's my turn to make you happy! By leaving you alone!"
"Who said that was going to make me happy!" I cried, finally beginning to blubber. "I love you, Natsu! I don't want to be away from you!"
"This isn't forever, Luce," he whispered, trying to wipe away my tears off my face. But it wasn't working. I continued to weep and weep until I thought that I would be out of tears to shed. "Until you're all better, until I know you can be the Lucy you want to be, I can't be by your side in that way. I can't be your boyfriend during these tough times."
"Then," I whispered back, still unable to control my tears, "what will you be to me?" He looked up, revealing his too wet face. He gently tilted my head forward and planted a sweet, gently kiss on my forehead. When I lifted my head, he attempted to give me one of his goofy smiles. "Your best friend. That's who I have to be." My eyes widened. This couldn't have been real. I didn't want this to be real. I wanted to smack Natsu out of his mind and make him change his mind so that he could realize that he was making a mistake! I was hoping that someone would slap me so that I could wake up and realize that this was all just one horrible nightmare.
But there was no one to slap me awake.
And there was no one to slap Natsu out of his senses.
I continued to weep through my sheets in front of Natsu. I was unable to control myself in his presence. I looked up at him and asked, "What if I don't get better? What if that Dr. Thantos guy never comes? What if...What if I die, Natsu?"
"Don't talk like that," he hissed, squeezing my hand tightly. "I want you to look around. You have people who love you; friends who adore you. You have a little brother who can't be left alone in this world. You have a kingdom, Lucy. And a kingdom doesn't let their princess die." I sniffed and continued to sob. I didn't know it then, but I was uncontrollably squeezing Juliet to the point that her stuffing might've fallen out of her eyes. I wanted to ask Natsu one more question, one answer that my heart just needed to hear. "Do you still love me, Natsu?"
Natsu's eyes widened, then softene. He suddenly raised his hand and removed the beanie from my head, revealing my hairless scalp. He gently rubbed it, making the hairs on my neck stand from feeling his soft fingertips. "I will always love you, Lucy. And it's because I love that that I have to end this."d
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. I turned to see a random nurse standing there. "Visiting Hours are over. You must leave now, sir."
"A-Alright, I will," he answered. He slowly stood up, his hand leaving my bald head. He walked towards the doorway, but before he left, he looked back at me and asked, "See you soon?"
I nodded. My throat didn't have the strength to speak. He nodded back and retreated from my room. When the nurse closed the door, it was then I had realized how dark my room actually was. I closed my eyes and let the tears continue to fall down my face. I slowly slouched down under the covers, still holding on to Juliet. Throughout the rest of the night, the only noise that was heard from me was the quite little sobs that left my sheets.