Natalie's P.O.V
After I was back to my house I was angry and frustrated at peak. I never faced much problems in my life before except that Irina part. But ever since I have started dating Enrique my life has become a visual representation of rollercoaster. Seriously one day we're happy and contented as hell and the next we're fighting. He just doesn't appreciate what I am doing for him. I even ignored Adrian for him.
Dad wanted to introduce me to some families. But I refused it at the party since I knew if Enrique saw me talking to any guy he would've lost it again. I am putting that much effort in this relationship but he's refusing to let go of his insecurities. One more time and I'll kill him. That's it.
After I came back from university I called Adrian and told him to come to my house. This was finally time to clear things between us. He came after an hour. I was right. He had lost weight. He looked weak and there were bags underneath his eyes. He didn't look like my Adrian at all.
I gestured him to sit on the couch and sat beside him. We both remained silent and that silence made me shift on the couch uncomfortably. He was still looking at the floor when he started speaking finally.
"How was life after me Natalie? Did you miss me?"
I looked up at him and answered in a serious tone.
"You should already know the answer by now. I missed you so damn much specially that one month when you refused to even reply me."
He still didn't look at me making me lose my calm. Hasn't he ignored me enough? I softly touched his forearm to which he looked back at me immediately. His eyes were red. But that didn't stop me either. I spoke again looking dead into his eyes so that he could feel the honesty of my words.
"Adrian? I am sorry. I don't have much explanation for why I accepted him because whatever I'll tell you, you would consider it to be an excuse. But trust me when I say this that I never wanted to date him. He was always just a friend to me just as much as you are. You're my best friend. You're my family more than that. I can't lose you. You can stay mad at me yell at me curse me for all I care. Just don't say that you don't want to be friends anymore. I won't let you do that. This friendship means the world to me."
I retracted back my hand from his forearm at the end and waited for his reply impatiently. His fists and jaws were clenched and he had the most frustrated look on his face I've ever seen. He replied at last after which felt like hours in a low tone.
"Do you think it matters any less to me? I wish we didn't had that strong bond Natalie. I can't even let you go when I already know that I have to do it eventually. What do I do? You tell me. I feel much more frustrated than you do. I can't help it. My feelings for you can never change. I know everything that happened before. I know why you accepted him. How he emotionally blackmailed you. You care for him too much to let him die. Just answer me honestly would you have said yes if I did the same?"
If he did the same? Committing a suicide? How could he even say that to me? I looked at him in disbelief, my lips parted in shock not believing what my ears just heard. He lightly touched my hand which was placed on my knee and spoke without meeting my eyes.
"I won't do it. Just answer me honestly."
I answered quickly not to drag the useless conversation any further.
"You were my friend first. No one can replace you Adrian. I can never imagine you in that condition. Don't talk about it."
He leaned back on the couch and sighed lightly. He kept breathing heavily then crossed his arms while muttering in an authoritative and threatening tone.
"So that is a yes! I know you care princess. Or probably I should stop calling you that. Just promise me if he ever hurt you, you would tell me. I'll kill him I swear if he ever made you cry. Tell him this. I dare him to even raise his voice on you. Actually don't bother. He needs to hear this from me."
But all I could hear was that one line in the start making my heart sink. He was cutting ties with me?
I asked in a whisper, hurt evident in my voice.
"You would stop calling me princess?"
He didn't reply which confirmed my suspicion. This is what I was afraid of the most. That one day I'll lose my best friend just because of I dating Enrique. How much I have to suffer because of him?
"As you wish."
Saying that I stood up from the couch immediately but he grabbed my hand and made me sit again muttering apologetically looking at my face thoroughly.
"Sorry."
His small gestures, his way of apologizing in that soft voice was always enough to change my mood. He was one perfect guy. He was my best friend. He is my best friend but he looked distant than he ever was. I broke the silence while smiling at the end.
"Don't talk to him. He's already very jealous of you because of our friendship. But I'll tell you if that ever happened. Whoelse would hear my non-stop bickering for hours?"
He kept staring at me like he was forming words in his mouth to tell me and after a minute he bursted out racking a hand through his hair.
"I missed you so much Natalie. I miss the time when we were together 24/7. I never should've moved. I did a big mistake. Nothing can change that now. Everything is different. You dating someone this seriously is enough to make me lose my calm. I wish I was that kind of person who won't even care for your happiness and would try to steal you. But unfortunately I am not. Neither are you. I have no other option than to support you. I'll always be here for you as a friend. You can always come to me just like you did in the past. You can tell me everything. Don't bring my feelings between us. Don't make it the reason to distance yourself from me. That would be the most cruel thing you could ever do to me. I can't guarantee what is going to happen in the future but for now I still have feelings for you but I know how to differentiate between friendship and love and I know how to act upon my feelings. Don't feel pressurized. I am still your best friend. You're still my princess. I just need some time to get used to this. I was the only guy in your life. It will take a lot of time to get used to this. Just don't hesitate to share your problems with me."
I didn't say anything, registering every word on my mind looking at the side table unknowingly. He called my name to bring me out of my thinking session.
"Natalie?"
I looked up at him only to find his intense gaze already on me.
"Hmmm I will. I am just sorry. I don't even know if this relationship is gonna work. I am putting everything into this just because of that idiot. Why did he have to be my uncle montario's son? Do you know Adrian I felt frustrated before at why didn't I say yes to you back then? But my heart made it clear for me. I never imagined you to be anything other than my friend. I am so selfish. I should let you go. You need to move on. You can't just have feelings for me for the rest of your life when I am not even going to do anything about it. Why don't you start dating someone? Maybe it'll feel less awkward then..."
I went on and on speaking in all honesty hoping he would understand what I was trying to tell him and he did. He replied back in a soft voice while standing up from the couch.
"I don't have the state of mind for that yet. Thank you for being honest. At least you thought about me. Don't feel awkward. Don't think about anything else. I am your best friend. Just remember that and pray that I don't do something stupid because these days I think about things which are forbidden at every level."
He moved towards the door to go out but I stopped him by standing in front of him with scrunched up eyebrows.
"Stay."
He shook his head lightly, his eyes looking everywhere but me and spoke in a cold tone.
"Never again. I have to go to Brazil to meet mom and dad. I'll see if I can see you one last time before going back to Australia."
I yelled angrily at his behavior.
"Adrian shut up. One last time? See you're doing this. You're breaking this friendship."
He bent his head down while closing his eyes tightly, his hands still fisted.
"I am not. But I have to maintain some distance to not destroy what we have. Give me sometime."
I hurriedly replied in the same tone again.
"Whatever. You're not going back without meeting me. If you can't come to New York, I'll go to Brazil."
He opened his eyes while looking at me pleading.
"Natalie, please I---" But I cut him in the middle by snapping at him angrily.
"Shut up."
He kept staring at me with expressions I couldn't read. I spoke again this time in a soft voice moving aside to let him go.
"You have to say goodbye before going. I'll see you tomorrow. Drive safe."
We always hugged after saying goodbye to each other. But first time we didn't. Even if we kept telling each other that nothing will change things are changed already. That hurts the most when you have to lose the things you like and care the most. But I won't lose him. He can distance himself but he can't just destroy our bond just like that. I won't let him.
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After first time in the restaurant when Enrique asked me to move in with him I already knew that there was no escape from that. Once he decides something he plans everything to get what he wants. He's just way too consistent and stubborn and I have to give in everytime. Like every fucking time.
I went weak on my knees when he showed me that painting. Like seriously I remember that time we didn't even talk back then. Did he stalk me? Why is he so mysterious? And then he transformed that entire guest room according to my liking.
He just doesn't let me think at all. Six months of dating and now he wanted me to live with him. Does he even realize how big of a decision this is? I'll have to tell my family, my friends even my cousins. That's a big step. I can just hide it from everyone except my parents and move in with him. But I don't do relationships like that either.
I asked him to give that painting back to me but he refused instantly. I asked him to tell me how much he bid on it and he said he doesn't remember without meeting my eyes. Seriously Enrique do I look like a pot head? Idiot.
That friend of mine who put my painting on auction had moved to New Zealand a long time ago. We only met when she visited New york. I contacted her somehow and asked the details. She told me the name of the bidder was Enrique Montario and he bid hundred million dollars.
Oh my God. I face palmed myself in frustration. He said that it wasn't expensive. The fuck? Freaking Hundred million dollars and it's nothing for him? How much he has spent on gifts for his girlfriends? Jerk face.
For two whole days I kept ignoring him for a lot of things. First because I knew he was going to talk about that again second because of that painting and the huge amount he payed for that without even knowing me third because it felt like there was a lot which he didn't tell me yet. Suddenly he felt more deep than I thought. He keeps surprising me and wants to me to live with him? So that one day he gives me another surprise and I die? Why didn't I become a psychiatrist? I want to know everything going on in his mind and everything he did before making me his friend.
I had fever so I was sleeping and he came again. I told mom not to disturb me but when it comes to him I become invisible to everyone. He made me drink that stupid syrup and when I opened my mouth to say it was bitter he kissed me. Idiot. I didn't even brush yet but after the kiss he looked like he just did his breakfast.
He made me say yes finally. Then he cupped my face and spoke lovingly.
"You have to fall in love with me Natalie Williams and you have to do it just as passionately as I do."
I felt my heartbeat faster than ever. His few words made me feel like I can trust him with all my heart, my soul, my everything. His honesty his passion his intensity was showing up clearly in his eyes making my heart flutter. God! Enrique what are you doing to me?
.................................................................
After a week Adrian came back and we met finally. I bid goodbye and told him to never ignore me ever again. We reluctantly half hugged each other. He went back immediately after that. I didn't tell Enrique about this because I knew if I did he was going to make a fuss about it again.
I told my family finally everything and they left the decision on me. I was hell confused. All of my friends were sitting in my house and I was holding my head in my hands in utter frustration.
Jasmine broke the eery silence and made me look at her.
"Natalie, just move in with him. What are you afraid of?"
Elena spoke playfully cupping her face in her hands.
"She's afraid to fall in love with him."
I snapped quickly while throwing a cushion at her face.
"Shut up."
They all started laughing at that making me pout angrily at their stupidity.
Ashley was sitting beside me. She was the only one whose worss actually effected me to bring myself out of those messy thoughts of mine. She lightly grabbed the side of my hand and spoke lovingly with a little smile plastered on her face.
"Come on Nat. I don't think it's a big deal. So what if it's just six months? You guys care for each other like no one can ever do. That's what matters. Trust him. Give in one more time."
Victoria was sitting on the carpet near the couch observing the situation quietly. She went near me and sat on the table in front of me while speaking in a convincing tone.
"And as long as my observation is concerned I think Enrique is so hopelessly in love with you that he'll never even think of hurting you intentionally. All you have to do is now love him back."
I looked at all of them one by one and replied back. My voice laced up in utter confusion and some unknown fear.
"What if we broke up? I told you about that feeling right? What if I fell for him and then we broke up? You know how I am. If I fell in love then it would be impossible for me to leave him. I am already getting used to his presence so much."
Ashely nudged me with her elbow and spoke playfully at the end.
"Why would you guys do that? He's dying for your love and if you'll have the same feelings that would make you guys even more perfect. Just trust him. Don't let your brain intermingle with your heart. I am waiting for the day you'll confess that you love him."
Love him? Me? Never. Nonetheless I felt redness covering my cheeks making me face palm at my reaction internally.
Jasmine yelled in shock while covering her ears dramatically.
"Oh my God. Is she blushing?"
Victoria and Ashley both stood up from the couch immediately and sat on the carpet with Elena and Jasmine.
They all shared a look and started singing like madwomen.
"Someone is falling in looovvve.
Someone is falling very deeeep."
I grabbed as much cushions as I could and threw at them hardly while shouting at their laughing faces.
"Shut up you nut cases."
.................................................................
I asked for a week to move my things in his apartment and his condition was indescribable. He was ecstatic that I finally agreed on that. We were in university when I told him about my decision. He looked here and there then hugged me tightly and whirled us around yelling in happiness. Hahaha he's such a child. He looked so cute. I almost pinched his cheeks but controlled myself.
He walked me to the elevator since I had a class to attend. We were waiting for it to come down. I was replying to Jasmine's message so my entire focus was on my cellphone. He leaned against the side of the elevator and kept on looking at me. I felt eyes on me so I looked up instantly raising my eyebrows a little. He was pouting with a sullen face and was looking at me with knitted eyebrows.
"I hate your cellphone." He whined crossing his arms and I lost it.
"Note the time Enrique Montario. I am going to say this for the first time. You're cute."
I said while finally pinching his cheeks. He looked at me dumbfounded in disbelief. A blush crept over his face making me smile widely. I shrugged my shoulders then went inside the elevator quickly. Throughout the ride I kept smiling like an idiot.
God, why do we blush on things like these? Whenever we get intimate physically we never act nervous. First time he asked me for a dance and feeling my hand in his large one made me nervous like hell. Even now I just said that he looked cute and he was red like a tomatoe. Probably because I've never complimented him in that way. I always thought that he was handsome but that never made me feel something for him. We got intimate and now I started noticing how much a of a dream guy he was.
Next week a day before my shifting I asked him one last time if he could rethink his decision but as usual he didn't even reply and changed the topic completely. I packed my stuff and he took it in the morning and made sure that my everything was safely placed in that room. He hired workers and for five long hours he kept on checking everything. He told me that he would pick me up in the evening so I slept for a while.
In the evening he came to pick me up. I was a emotional wreck. Like I wake up and sleep only after seeing my parents and brother. How was I supposed to stay calm after leaving them? And to make it worse I was nervous. I was freaking going to live with him alone. He wasn't any help either. He was busy all day so he had to be a little tired right? But he wasn't at all. He was so happy and kept looking at me intensely. I had to move my stare to not meet his eyes.
We greeted my parents one last time. They all looked sad but for me they tried their best to not show their emotions by their faces. I was having second thoughts at last minute. But finding him that excited and because of mu commitment earlier I stepped outside the house with heavy steps. I sat in the car without looking at my loving family as I was on the verge of crying.
He started the car immediately and drove smoothly. I kept looking outside of the car window. His right hand was holding mine softly throughout the ride to his apartment. We reached there after half an hour and my mood was as bad as it could be. I didn't come out of the car so he came to my side opened the door and held my hand again making me step out of it.
I felt eyes on me from the elevator ride to his apartment's entrance door but I didn't bother. We just stayed silent but that silence was completely comfortable.
"I'll be okay. He loves me. I'll be okay. He won't hurt me ever."
I kept telling that to myself to calm my nerves. But it was of no use. We entered in the apartment together. I left his hand and started moving towards the room but he had other plans. He grabbed me by my waist and pinned me to the wall while placing a hand at the back side of my head. His breath was getting harsh. We both stared each other for one whole minute. My eyes looking at him in confusion and his orbs were dark with desire, passion and intensity of his emotions.
He leaned in and without wasting another second he cupped my face and started kissing me hungrily. His kiss was demanding and deep. He bit my lower lip then nibbled on it lightly making me gasp. His tongue invaded my mouth making me lose control too.
Initially I was so grumpy that I didn't want to talk to him but after he kissed me like that I forgot everything and kissed him back with all my might. I grabbed the back of his neck and with the other hand started caressing his cheeks while my fingers playing with his stubble continuously.
Finding me kissing him back he became even more aggressive. He deepened the kiss by intermingling our tongues while his hand moved to my waist holding the side possessively. I caught him off guard by entering my tongue in his mouth. He got startled but I didn't stop. I kept sucking the moistened feeling and exploring his mouth for the first time.
We both were panting and the way our bodies were acting by each other's touch was much different than before. His touch made my soul shiver, my heart flutter, my body quiver. That was a moment where I said somethings to him in a whisper begging for his truthfulness in the future.
"I am giving myself to you. I am going to trust you. I am going to give my all in this relationship. I don't know a thing about love but I'll try to love you because I know once I started caring for you no one else could ever match my intensity of emotions for you. All you have to do is..... never break me. Because just as much as you think you are, I think I am becoming addicted to you on the same level."
I was his and all his in that moment. This is what I was afraid of the most. Once my mind is clear, I go all out without giving a damn to the world. He retracted from the kiss and peppered kisses all over my face. My forhead, my eyes, my nose, my cheeks,then he moved to my jawline leaving wet kisses all over while finding my sensitive spot on my neck.
He sucked and licked multiple times there when it started registering on my mind what he was doing. I pushed him a little gently while breathing harshly against his chest. His condition was even more worse. He was so lost in the feeling that it took him a while coming out of that trance. Then he looked at me deeply and whispered against my lips in his husky voice smiling widely.
"Welcome home love."
I bit my lip and gazed back to the floor feeling heat rush to my cheeks. He hugged me very tightly immediately after that while inhaling my scent. His nose was in the crook of my neck making me gasp again and to suppress my moan I pressed my lips on his shoulder which wasn't my best decision ever. He moaned. He actually fucking moaned just because of that. I went weak on my knees hearing that. I have that much effect on him. That feeling was so heavenly I forgot I left my house and was feeling sad merely ten minutes ago. He made me feel welcomed and loved altogether.
My heartbeat wasn't a help at all. To overcome my nervousness I pushed him a little and walked faster towards my room. I sat on the bed breathing heavily. After getting some control, I shook my head at my stupid behavior and held my face in both of my hands while whispering in a pleading tone.
Please Enrique, don't make me fall too hard....
______________________________________
Aham aham God, what are these two kids upto? :P
Thoughts?
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Peace lover :)