When I woke up the next morning, I felt incredibly blissful. I attempted to snuggle deeper into the warmth of my bedding when I felt something hard against me. That was when my senses jolted to life and memories rushed back. I blinked my eyes open to see Andy lying on his stomach with his arm thrown over my waist. I instantly pulled my phone out of my pocket and unlocked it nervously. It was nearly eleven in the morning. As I expected, there were seven missed calls from my mom and texts from her, my dad, and Britt. I sighed, reading through them.
From Britt: hey ur mom called me asking if i knew where u were. what's going on????
From Sperm Donor: I received a call from your mother, saying you're not in your room and she can't find you. Please contact one of us soon.
I didn't bother reading the ones from my mom, knowing they were just her yelling at me and freaking out. Bracing myself, I called her number and waited as the phone rang. It was almost instant that the phone stopped ringing and my mom's voice sounded over the speaker.
"Kourtney, where on earth are you?" My mom nearly shouted.
"I'm so sorry, mom," I started, coming up with a lie as I went. "My friend's boyfriend broke up with her last night and she was super upset, so I went to comfort her and accidentally fell asleep."
'You can't just leave like that in the middle of the night. You didn't leave a note or send me a text. For all I knew, you could have been kidnapped or something."
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to worry you."
"Having your own car is a privilege, Kourtney, and if you can't act responsibly, it will be taken away from you, understand?"
"Yes," I murmured.
"I have to go to work. I'm already going to have to stay a few hours late to make up for the time I've spent trying to find you. When I get home, we're going to have a talk, okay?"
"Okay, mom," I stated, biting my lip.
We shared goodbyes and I dropped my phone on the bed with a sigh. That was surprisingly easy, but I had a feeling I'd hear a lot more when I got home later.
Beside me, Andy was still sleeping, his head buried in the pillow. He looked adorable. His face was completely relaxed and his dark hair was messy. In that moment, Andy looked incredibly boyish and innocent. I didn't mind that Andy was older--I actually kind of liked it--but seeming him looking so youthful was kind of sweet. It made me wonder what Andy would have been like when he was 16 or 20, and how much easier it would have been if we'd met then instead of now.
Despite the obstacles we faced, after last night, I felt like Andy and I had a good chance. However, he was really drunk last night, and I knew that could affect what he'd said. There was so much honesty behind it all that I couldn't bear to not believe it. Even Andy didn't want to feel things for me, the truth was that he did.
I could hear Ella and Jake talking and moving around the apartment, but I really didn't feel comfortable around them without Andy by my side. They both seemed nice, especially Ella, but I couldn't help but feel like a little kid in their presence.
Deciding to wake Andy, I began poking his sleeping figure. After a few seconds of pestering, he swatted my hand away, letting out a quiet groan.
"Andy," I sing-songed, a smile on my lips.
"Kourt," he murmured into the pillow, "let me sleep."
"But I'm bored," I complained, peppering a few kisses on his cheek.
Andy stretched his limbs out and sighed, blinking one blue eye at me. He flipped over onto his back.
"Come here, kitten," he murmured with a soft smile. I blushed at the new pet name and cuddled into his warmth. His arms wrapped around me.
Andy groaned quietly. "I'm so hungover."
"That's what you get for drinking so much," I teased.
Andy narrowed his eyes at me. He opened his mouth to say something when Ella yelled loudly somewhere in the living room, followed by giggling.
Andy rolled his eyes and sighed. "We should get out of here. I don't know why I thought staying here would be a good idea."
"What's wrong?" I asked. "They seem nice."
"It doesn't matter," Andy stated, giving me a smile. Realization swept over Andy's features. "Didn't you have to be at school or something?"
"Yeah, it's fine though. I just told my mom that I was at a friend's. I'll probably be in trouble later, but for now it's okay."
"Shit, I didn't mean to get you in trouble."
"It's okay. I wanted to be here."
Andy smiled. "Whatever drunk shit I said last night, I meant it. Being without has been shit. I'm done worrying about the consequences."
"Really?" I asked, my heart fluttering in my chest.
"Yeah." He nodded.
Andy slipped his shoes back on, complaining about his headache as he went. I felt gross in the same clothes from last night, but I didn't really have any other options.
"Come on," Andy stated, slipping my hand into his.
I followed him out into the living room where Ella and Jake sat. They were on the couch, laughing at some TV show they were watching. As our shoes sounded against the concrete floor, they both looked up.
"Look who decided to join us," Ella greeted with a smile.
"Thanks for letting us stay here last night," I said to fill the gap of Andy's silence. I looked over at him to see cold blue eyes.
"No problem," she replied.
"Ashley and Lissa are coming over. You guys should stay and hang out," Jake offered.
"Yeah, you'd love that," Andy scoffed.
"He apologized," Jake sighed.
"That was the weakest apology I've ever heard," Andy stated. "I don't care what he has to say; it's my life."
"Ashley's just looking out for you."
"Well, why doesn't he focus on his own shit? Like his whore of a wife."
"Andy," Jake said in a warning.
"Whatever, I'll talk to you later."
With that, he tugged me out into the hallway, slamming the apartment door behind him.
"What was that about?" I asked timidly.
"Nothing," Andy shrugged, giving me a reassuring smile. "I just have shitty friends."
I opened my mouth to inquire more, but he quickly quieted me. "Don't worry about it. Right now, I just want to appreciate the fact that I'm holding your hand again after weeks. I was clearly an idiot to think I would be better off without you."
"Clearly," I joked. "How could anyone be better off without me?"
"I have no idea," Andy laughed, kissing my lips.
Twenty minutes later, Andy and I were seated in a booth at McDonald's. Breakfast had already ended, much to Andy's disappointment, so we both got burgers and fries. We had decided to split a chocolate milkshake and the large cup sat between us. We both peeled the pickles off our burgers and I smiled at the shared trait.
I still felt sort of bleary and exhausted from everything, but I was also energized from just being around Andy. He had this effect on me that was simply exhilarating. After weeks of not seeing him, it was hitting me in full force. My lips were red and swollen from all our shared kisses, and I was still eager for more.
"I'm going to have to make you a playlist," Andy announces, in between chewing french fries. "Your music taste sucks."
"Hey, I listen to your band!" I defended.
"Yeah, but you haven't even heard anything by KISS, Guns N Rose, or Dead Kennedys. You're so uncultured."
"I think you mean not ancient."
"Thirty isn't ancient." Andy narrowed his eyes in mock anger.
"Thirty? I thought you were 29."
"I turned thirty the day after Christmas," he explained casually.
"I didn't get you a present," I frowned, blinking at Andy with wide, sad eyes.
Andy laughed dismissively. "It's okay, kitten."
There was that pet name again that sent my heart fluttering. I nearly purred.
Andy and I continued to talk lightheartedly. A nagging question sat on the tip of my tongue. I bit it back as long as I could, but in a moment of silence, it came spilling out of my mouth.
"Are you going to break up with Juliet?" I asked, looking down at the table, too timid to meet Andy's gaze.
I could feel him shift in the opposite booth. "I can't yet. I know you want more, but right now this is all I can give you. You understand that, right?"
No, I wanted to yell, but instead I just nodded. I would try to understand. I would pretend that I was okay with this. I knew Andy would break up with her soon. I just had to wait.
Andy smiled at me. "Good. Trust me, I'm not going to let you slip away one more time."
"I think you were the one that slipped away," I commented.
"We should talk about all that, shouldn't we?"
"There's not really anything to talk about."
"Yes, there is," Andy stated. "I'm still sort of processing how this is going to work, how I can balance all my thoughts. We need to talk about some of things we said in the car that day."
I gaze at Andy warily. "Like what things?"
"Like when you told me you loved me," he said, leaning a little closer, his elbows propped on the table.
I couldn't read any emotion in his eyes to gauge what his thoughts were. Internally, I was freaking out. I felt like I was going to choke or faint or something equally dramatic. It was one thing to admit I loved Andy in my head, but saying it to him when I wasn't emotional and desperate was totally different.
"Uhh... I guess. I mean, like, umm yes, I-"
"Whoa, you're Andy Biersack," a voice exclaimed.
Andy and I both turned to see the source. It was a guy that was probably four or five years older than me. He had dark hair that fell into his eyes and bright green eyes. A beanie sat upon his head and he wore a t-shirt and jeans. A skateboard was tucked under his arm and he held an expression of awe.
"Yeah, nice to meet you," Andy said, giving the guy a genuine smile.
"Wow, I'm such a huge fan. Seriously, I listened to you guys back in the day and you fucking rocked."
"Thanks, man."
There was a light in Andy's eyes that was rare. I'd seen in it when he was on stage that first night and a few times when we'd been together. However, as he got up to give the guy an autograph, I could see how much he missed his old life. Before Black Veil Brides ended, they were one of the biggest rock bands in the scene. They were stopped everywhere for autographs and pictures, and played for unbelievably huge crowds. I had a feeling Andy missed it all more than he'd let me know.
"Hey, Kourt, can you take a picture of us?" Andy asked, handing me the fan's cell phone.
"Sure," I smiled, snapping a few pictures.
"Awesome," the guy said as I handed it back to him.
Andy and the guy talked for a few more minutes while I shoved french fries in my mouth. They were talking about old tours and memories that I didn't really know anything about. I was just glad that the spotlight was off of me. I couldn't tell Andy I loved him, not yet. It wasn't that the feelings weren't there. I was just scared. Weren't guys supposed to say it first anyway?
Finally, Andy sat back down and smiled at me.
"You miss it," I remarked, changing the subject before he could recall where we'd left off. "The fans, the crowds, all that, you still want it."
"It's a hard thing to let go of," Andy admitted quietly. He smiled, though it didn't quite meet his eyes. "But I have to."
Sorry for the wait. I'm kind of all over the place lately. I have foot surgery on Friday and I'll be on crutches for a month after that and so my life is crazy leading up to it. Anyway, I saw Divergent last night and I am so in love. I'm reading the book now. If you've seen it or read it, which faction do you think you'd be in? I'd be dauntless. As usual, 10 comments. c: