Chapter 9
I headed down the hallway toward my room, hoping that Rowan was still there. When Grandma and I had walked back to the common area, we didn’t see her or Nash. Grandma was going to stay there, though, while I talked to Rowan about everything. She told me she’d come help explain some if I needed it.
Rowan and Nash were still in the room when I came back in. They both stood up from where they were sitting and came toward me.
“God, Rayney, why did you leave so quickly?” Rowan asked.
“We tried to follow you, but your grandma stopped us before we could get to you,” Nash said. “She and Dane wouldn’t let us come.”
“I’ve got to talk to Rowan for a little while,” I said to Nash. “I’ve got to tell her about everything that’s been happening.”
“Oh,” he said, immediately catching on. “That.”
“Yes, that,” I said, and then leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll find you later, okay?”
“That’s what you said last time,” he said, a slight smile on his face.
“Well, I mean it this time,” I said, laughing.
Once he left, I closed the door and turned back toward Rowan. She’d sat down on her bed again.
“What,” she said, “is going on between the two of you?”
“Nothing,” I said. “But that’s not what I wanted to tell you about.”
“Then what is?” she asked.
“The reason we went to Division Twelve the first time,” I said.
I told her everything about the weapons and what was happening with Kade and Roth. She listened intently, but stood up after about the first minute and started pacing around the room. When I finished, she continued.
“Say something,” I said.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” she asked.
“Because I didn’t find out about it until about a half an hour before we left to go to Division Twelve the first time,” I said.
“And why not after?” she asked.
I gave her a look that said everything.
“Okay, never mind,” she said, sighing. “But what I don’t get is why they would do this to them.”
“They told me that they had this planned for a while now,” I said.
“So this is why you went to see Luke and the others in the control room,” she said.
“Yep,” I said, nodding. “And to ask why I’ve been assigned to the two of them and had a message sent to all Guards telling them to kill me.”
Rowan stopped and stared at me. “They what?” she asked.
“Yeah, that’s…”
“You’ve just told me everything about what happened to Roth and Kade and you’ve just now figured you’d tell me that everyone in the Directrix want you killed?”
“Rowan…”
“See, I told you my dream is going to come true,” she said. She put her hands to her head. “I shouldn’t have told you to go out.”
“Well, if Kade wanted to kill me then, he could have just tightened his hold on my neck,” I said. “But he didn’t, and I don’t really know why.”
“Because he still loves you,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Um, I don’t really think so,” I said. “Not from the way he was glaring at me.”
“What about Roth?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “He was telling Kade to do it or leave. You can tell what he chose.”
“I don’t like this,” she said. “I don’t like this at all.”
“I don’t think anyone who knows about this likes it,” I said.
“So what do we do now?” she asked.
“Nothing, I guess,” I said. “They don’t want me going anywhere else, since…you know.”
“I shouldn’t have…” she started.
“Hey,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “It’s not totally your fault. I chose to go out and look for him. We can’t take it back now.”
She let go of my hand and walked toward the door. “I’m just glad you’re okay and safe now. Now, I’m sure you’re pretty hungry since you didn’t eat anything while you were gone.”
“How did you know that?” I asked.
“Because I know you,” she said, smiling. “Plus I looked through the bag and nothing was opened.” She motioned for me to follow. “Now, come on.”
Everyone pretty much asked all the questions that they usually would if we’d gone on a raid, but one of the top questions was why I went. I didn’t say anything about Kade – another thing that I thought no one should really know about now – but told them everything else.
Everyone seemed to want to know all about the Guards…and how fast I killed them. Even though they’d seen me in action before, they still found what I did incredible. It wasn’t that incredible to me, though, just average things that I had to deal with when I was out and surrounded by Guards who had orders to kill me if they found me…not that anyone knew that except for the select few who did.
I left before anyone else was going to leave the common area. Nash hadn’t been there the entire time I was there. I’d told him that I would come find him. But when I went to his room where I thought he might have been, he wasn’t there. So instead of going back, I just headed toward my room. But then someone stepped out of the spare room and grabbed my arm, pulling me toward them and into the room. Before I could reach down for my knife at my waist, I saw it was only Nash.
“What in the world do you think you’re doing?” I asked, laughing. “You were about to be killed if I hadn’t seen it was you.”
He smiled. “You wouldn’t have done it,” he said, shutting the door behind me.
“So,” I said as he walked over and sat down on the bed. I noticed that he sat down on the one that Kade and I hadn’t spent our last night together, which was good. I didn’t think I’d be able to lie in the same bed with Nash as I did with Kade.
“So,” he said. “What happened with Luke and the others?”
“They confirmed what I suspected,” I said. “Kade and Roth are still alive, just very different.”
“They made them into that human robot thing, didn’t they?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“I kind of suspected it,” he said.
“When?” I asked, looking at him.
“After we went and listened in on what Luke and the others were saying that one day,” he said. “I don’t know. I guess I just put two and two together and came up with that conclusion.”
“Well, your conclusion is right,” I said. “But only partly.”
“What do you mean?”
“Roth’s not the same as Kade, though,” I said. “He’s different. His cells repair themselves so he basically can’t be hurt. They did the same thing to both of their muscles, though, making the stronger so that they can run faster and jump higher.”
“Roth’s situation doesn’t sound that bad,” Nash said.
“That’s what your brother said also,” I said. I crawled back onto the bed and turned over so I was lying on my stomach. “You and he are almost exactly the same.”
He crawled up beside me but lay on his back, looking over at me with a smile. “Yeah, we are, I guess,” he said.
“I told everything to Rowan,” I said.
“She deserves to know, since it concerns Roth,” he said.
“There’s one thing that I told her that I haven’t told you yet, though,” I said.
“And what’s that?”
“You know that message that we were trying to read when we were listening in to what they were talking about the other day?” I asked
“Yeah,” he said, looking at me with an odd expression on his face.
“It was about me,” I said. “They sent it out telling all the Guards that, if they saw me, the order was to kill me. It’s Kade and Roth’s assignment also.”
“What?” he asked loudly, sitting up and looking down at me. “Why didn’t you tell me this before? And you’re not going out anymore, not on raids and certainly not by yourself. You’re crazy for doing that you know.”
I laughed as I pulled him back down beside me. “I know and I’m sorry,” I said. “No one’s going to let me go anyway. Rowan was mad at herself because she wanted me to go out this morning.”
“Well, I’m mad at you for going,” he said, and turned over on his side away from me.
“You’re not mad at me,” I said, laughing, putting my hand on his arm and trying to turn him over. “You can’t be mad at me. It’s impossible for you.”
He didn’t say anything. I tried pulling on his arm again, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Okay, then,” I said, and started to get up. “I guess I’ll just be going since you’re mad and won’t talk to me.”
He quickly turned back over, a smile on his face, and reached for me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down next to me, his arm going around my waist and holding me close.
I laughed. “I knew you weren’t mad at me,” I said.
“Like you just said, I don’t think I could be,” he said, and kissed my forehead.
“So what’d you do while I was gone?” I asked.
“Oh, just sat around, waiting for you to get back, if you were going to get back,” he said. “Everyone was freaking out and most of them thought that they should have sent us out to get you. But Luke and the others didn’t say anything. They were in the control room the entire time. And when you were messaging Rowan and you just stopped, everyone thought you’d been killed.”
“Well, I wasn’t,” I said.
“No, but you could have been,” he said.
“Those Guards didn’t have time to react before I’d gotten all of them down,” I said.
He laughed. “There’s no doubt about that,” he said.
“It was really easy actually,” I said.
“Isn’t killing Guards always easy for you?”
“Yeah, kind of,” I said, and then sighed. “I guess I’m just good at it.”
He laughed again and brought his face to mine, giving me a quick kiss. “You’re good at a lot of things.”
“Like what? Beating you up every time we practice?”
“That,” he said. “And basically everything else you do.”
I closed my eyes and lay there for a moment. But when I did, everything that had happened replayed in my mind again. Things with Kade were obviously not the same. I didn’t know how I felt about that, though. Not when I was with Nash. Knowing that Kade was alive didn’t change anything about how I felt about him. I mean, just like everyone said, it had been over a year and a half. Apparently I did have the ability to get over him.
But there was that little part in me that was upset about the entire situation. Okay, it might have been bigger than just a little. I didn’t know if Kade really didn’t feel for me the way he once did or if the Directrix was the one to change him.
“You asleep?” I heard Nash whisper.
“No,” I said, and opened my eyes. “Just thinking about everything.”
“And that everything has got to do something with Kade,” he said.
“Well…yeah,” I said. “It’s kind of hard not to think about him now since I’ve just seen him alive.”
“What I don’t get about this why situation is why Slayter and Cramer would want to do that to their own kids,” he said. “Why not use Guards?”
“Control,” I answered. “That’s why.”
“Well, they do control everything else. Why not make that control a little stronger?”
“It’s like that’s all they think about,” I said.
“All they want,” Nash went on.
“I wonder what it would be like if none of this never happened,” I said. “My parents would still be alive and I’d still be in Chicago, going to school. Kade wouldn’t be what he is now either. We’d actually be in college right now come to think of it. We would have gotten to spend our entire lives together.”
Everything was quiet then, and all I could hear was mine and Nash’s breathing.
“What?” I asked him.
“You still love him,” he said.
“Yeah, I do. I just…I don’t know. I’ve always loved him. It’s not like it can be turned off and on.”
There was another long silence.
“And you don’t know how you feel about me now that you know he’s still alive.”
“I do love you,” I said, looking at him. “I just don’t know if I’m…in love with you. Not yet at least.”
“It’s okay,” he said, a slight smile on his face. “I know you were still upset about everything before and I know what happened today didn’t help the situation either. So I’ll say again, I’ll wait.”
“I just don’t know how long you’ll be waiting,” I said.
“I’ll wait as long as you want me to,” he said.
I leaned up and kissed him.
He pulled back and smiled. “I remember when I used to get slapped for doing that,” he said.
“You’re going to again if you stop,” I said.
“Oh, really?” he asked. “Are you sure you want me to?”
“Hmm, let me think about it,” I said, putting my finger to my chin.
“Come here,” he said, laughing.
He pulled me up to him again, kissing me softly and slowly. They grew more passionate after a few moments, a kiss that had me melting in his arms. Kissing him like this made me realize that one day I could possibly love him the way he wanted me to. And I didn’t know if he was going to have to wait long at all.
After I fell asleep in Nash’s arms, the dream came on quickly. Only Reagan and Rowan were there, though, which was okay with me since I needed to tell Reagan everything and not Harper and Slade, who couldn’t know anything about this.
“So the dream you’ve been having came true,” Reagan said.
“Yeah, it did,” I said, sitting down in front them.
“And Kade was…transformed…into it,” she said.
I nodded. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how your dad could have created it,” I said.
“He didn’t realize what he created would produce all this destruction,” she said. “He thought that it would prevent any of this from happening.”
“Instead it made it happen,” Rowan said.
“We didn’t know about the other, though,” she said. “Roth. Your mother was the one to start research on that one. We only knew what would happen to Kade.”
“You knew?” I asked. “You knew this would happen to him?”
“Yes, but we wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for our friend Matt,” she said.
“The guy who shot our great-grandfather?” I asked. “Wasn’t he the one who could see what all happened without having to be in a dream?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” she said. “We went to him quite a few times when we had to figure out things that were going to happen.” She paused and cocked her head to the side. “You do realize that Marcus Cramer is Matt’s son-in-law, don’t you? He married his daughter, Olivia.”
I think both mine and Rowan’s jaws dropped with that revelation. I remembered something about that, but I had totally forgotten about it. That meant that Roth was the grandson of the man who tried to kill my great-grandfather.
“That’s just creepy,” I said.
“Um…wow,” Rowan said, swallowing hard.
She smiled. “I know,” she said. “Sorry if you didn’t know that. It’s probably a big shock.”
“I knew about that, but it just really didn’t click, I guess,” I said.
“So that’s how Grandma and Luke knew about Kade being the one,” Rowan said, changing the subject back.
“Yes, we made sure they knew absolutely everything,” Reagan said.
“Why didn’t they warn us about it before?” I asked. “Like when we went to Division Twelve the first time?”
“I don’t know about that,” she said. “I guess it was just to keep you from worrying about it.”
“You would have probably done the same thing we’re going to do to you to Kade,” Rowan said. “Keep you from going out.”
“Yeah, I probably would have,” I said. “But at least he wouldn’t be what he is now.”
“They would have found out a way to get him since he was the one they wanted to transform first.”
“Are they going to make anyone else into it?” Rowan asked.
“No, they’re not. Their original intentions were to make an army of them, but that changed after a while. They thought if they made hundreds, even thousands, they might try to take over. So they just decide to have three.”
“One could probably do enough damage,” I said.
“And also consider who they picked for it,” Reagan said. “Kade was the perfect choice.”
“But what about Roth?” Rowan asked. “Why did they choose him?”
“Again, probably because they could control him better than any other person,” I said. “But they’re supposed to be making another person into the same thing he is.”
“Who?” Rowan asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, even though I did. Me. “Luke and the others say that they haven’t intercepted any information about who the other person is, only that it’s supposed to be a girl.”
“Maybe it’s going to be Loryn,” Rowan asked. “She’s Cramer’s daughter. It makes perfect sense.”
“Maybe,” I said. “And we already know that they’re able to control her, however much that might be.”
“And she could use not being able to be hurt with you around,” she said.
“That’s true also,” I said, laughing.
“We should try talking to Luke and the others about this more,” she said. “Or maybe just Grandma since she knows about all of this.”
“Yeah, we should,” I said. “There’s probably more we could use.”
Rowan left then, leaving only me and Reagan. By the look on my face, she knew there was something that I didn’t say.
“Rayney, what is it that you didn’t tell her?” she asked.
“I know who the other person is,” I said.
“Who? And why didn’t you tell her about it?”
“Because the other person is me,” I said quietly.
She sat there for a moment, just looking at me. “Now that’s one thing that I never knew,” she said.
“Yeah, I wish I didn’t know about it either,” I said. “But that’s who it is.”
“How do you know?”
“They did intercept some information the Directrix had been sending around,” I said. “It was a message that was telling everyone that if they’d found me, kill me. Rowan does know about that.”
“She just doesn’t know about you being the other person.”
I nodded. “That’s it,” I said. “Did she tell you about her dream?”
“The one where Kade, Roth and Guards got into Division Sixteen and Kade snapped your neck?” she asked. “Yes, she told me about that.”
“I think it’s going to come true,” I said. “I don’t know when, but I think it will.”
“Because they need you for the weapon,” she said, nodding. “I’m afraid that I’m thinking that it will come true, too.”
“I don’t want it to because Rowan said that everyone was there,” I said. “I don’t want them seeing that. And Lyric and Lilah. I…I don’t want them to see it.”
“There’s nothing you can change about it if it does happen,” Reagan said. “And since Rowan saw it that way, it’s already set that way.”
“Then I wish I knew when it was going to happen, just so I could be prepared,” I said.
“You’ll have it when it’s close to when it’s supposed to happen,” she said. “The same thing happened with me and my sister.”
I sat there, twining my fingers in my lap over and over again. There were so many questions I wanted answered, but there was probably one that I wanted to know the most.
“Okay, when they’d found out Rowan was dreaming and I was there, they gave her this medication that stopped her from getting into them,” I said.
“What are you trying to ask?” Reagan asked.
“Well, do you know if they developed that medication more?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said.
“What would happen if they did?” I asked. “I wouldn’t be able to get here, would I?”
“Well, it wasn’t that way with Rowan,” she said. “She could talk to me. She just couldn’t communicate with you.”
“Will it be the same with me?”
“More than likely,” she said. “But don’t worry about it. You still don’t know when any of this is going to happen. It might not be for a few more weeks. We’ve still got time to go over this and see what we can do about it.”
“We can’t do anything,” I said.
She took my hand in hers. “We can learn more about it,” she said. “Now go and get all of this out of your mind for now.”
I smiled and closed my eyes. But when I opened them, Nash wasn’t beside me like we’d been when we’d gone to sleep. Instead we were in the control room, looking at the information we’d gotten from Division Twelve on the screen.
“How did your mom come up with all of this?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I didn’t even know she was a geneticist, let alone worked for the Directrix.”
“Still, it’s amazing,” he said, looking up at the screen.
The lights flickered then, and so did all the computer monitors and the screen. They stopped for a moment, but then everything went completely black. It took a minute, but then the emergency lights lit up.
Nash was still frozen in the same spot that he’d been standing. I was, too.
“What was that?” he asked.
“Has the generator ever given out before?” I asked.
“I don’t think so,” he said.
And then we both looked toward the door when we heard a yell. We both ran out and toward the common area. But instead of making the turn down the other hallway, Nash stayed straight toward the weapons room.
“Go on ahead,” he yelled. “I’ll be there in a second.”
I ran as fast as I could. But when I ran toward the common area, hands caught me from behind. I tried to get out of the Guards hold, but once I saw the person who was walking toward me, I stopped and stared at him, wide-eyed.
“Hello again, Rayney,” Kade said, a smile on his face.