***
I haven't been talking to Bad-yong the next day. We walk past each other and he's not even looking at me. Ugh. I have to apologize again!
Taeyong told me that Bad-yong changed even more. He's now being more impatient and he easily gets mad. He drinks more beer but this time, inside his room only. Last night, I trued to check if he's still drinking. The smell of the beer crinkled my nose and he's knocked out on the bed. I just fixed his table and brought the cans of beer with me and threw them. It's an everyday scenario even before he got mad at me again. He drinks everynight. I feel bad for his liver.
"Should I bring him dinner?" I asked Taeyong's opinion while we're fixing the dining table. We just finished eating.
"Yeah sure. Just beware." I just laughed at his joke.
If you're asking about Taeyong, these days he's becoming more clingy to me and protective. He sends and fetches me every work days. He goes to my room before he sleeps. He's really a boyfriend material that I am lucky to have.
I put the bowl of rice and some kimchi stew and braised pork ribs on the tray and went upstairs. I knocked on his door using my elbow and waited for a response. Since he didn't respond, I opened the door without a consent from him. He's just lazily playing his phone while lying on the bed.
"It's dinner time." I said. I went in and closed the door. I placed the tray on his table and afterwards, turned my back to him. I was about to get out of his room when I decided to talk to him.
I sat beside him and looked directly on his eyes. He looked surprised but then his eyes turned blank.
"I know you don't want me to meddle with your life but can you at least accept my apology? I'm sorry that I went over board. I'm sorry for judging you that way. I should have thought twice, right? I am really wrong and I am sorry. Please forgive me. I don't want us to treat each other like this. I don't like your silent treatment since we're living under the same roof. I want us to have a good relationship and destroy all of the walls between us." I waited for his response but he just remained staring at me.
When you talk to Bad-yong, abandon all hope.
I lowered my head, "What should I do for you to forgive me?"
"Nothing. Get out."
I held his hand, "Bad-yong-ie, please forgive me! And let's be friends! You can share your thoughts with me, I can help you when you have uncertainties, and you can feel happiness! I swear, you only need someone you can lean on! I am already here in front of you but you're ignoring me." What other words are needed for me to persuade him? Aish.
He looked at my hand holding his and pulled his hand out. I pouted and sighed. He can't be helped.
"I want to be stern with the idea of making you feel alive, because you always feel like this world is a hell. I want to help you, but you're not helping yourself. Bad-yong, give yourself a chance. You deserve to live happily."
He looked at me, "My happiness is already taken away from me."
My forehead knotted, "By whom? Tell me and I'll punch that person on the face!" I said while clenching my fist. I may look like a clown but of it makes him feel good, it's fine.
He didn't responded and just remained quiet. What else should I do?
"You know, you have the same face with Taeyong. Your smile can kill millions of girls as well. You should wear a smile too."
"I don't smile."
I stretched his cheeks, "You just have to curve your lips a little. You'll feel good when you smile." I smiled at him brightly, hoping that he falls for it. Smile, Bad-yong!
But he is tough, so I failed.
"Maybe you need time. Eat. You have to eat. I'm leaving."
I stood and walked out of his room. I really still do believe that he can smile. I mean, he can me happy. He will be happy.
**
Taeyong and I are in the car on the way to my office. He's sending me there again today.
"Do you have any news from Sunghoon?" I asked. He's quiet these days. It makes us feel uneasy.
"I went to where they usually stay many times but they weren't there."
My eyes widened, "What? You're going to their place? Are you trying to do suicide?"
"Don't worry, I won't get caught."
"Just make sure because I'll be the one to send you to death once they capture you!" I warned. I just want him to be more careful!
"That's sweet." I just rolled my eyes. It isn't time for a joke. "We're here~" he sang.
Before I went out of the car, he held my hand. "Don't worry about me, Arin. I have to live so that I can protect you. I have to stay alive to make sure noone's gonna hurt you." He kissed my fingertips, "I love you." Then he gave me an assuring smile.
The uneasiness in me faded and I just smiled there. I kissed his nose and replied, "I love you too."
"You better go before you become late."
I rested my back on the back rest, "I don't want to work anymore. I want to stay by your side."
"Ok then, let's go." He acted like driving but I stopped him.
"Haha. I have to go now." Then I unbuckled my seatbelt.
"I will be going to my parents so I might not be able to call you today. We will have a short reunion."
I nodded, "Enjoy." Then I finally went out of the car. I waved him goodbye and went in the building. He waited for me to get in before going.
When I'm already on my office, I syddenly remembered my wallet. I searched for it in my bag but it isn't there. I can't remember where I placed it.
I dialled Taeyong's number and he missed my call. I dialled him again and after a series of rings, he finally andwered.
"Taeyong, have you noticed my wallet?"
"H-huh? I don't think so." He sounded minimal, maybe because he's driving.
"I think I left it at home."
"Do you need it now?"
"Not really. I just want to nake sure that it's in a safe place. Anyway, forget it and enjoy your day with your family. I'll just search for it when I go home."
"O-okay."
I smiled, "I love you."
It take him a while before replying, "I love you too."
He sounded weird but it was okay. Maybe he's focusing on the road.
***
Bad-yong's Point of View
I laid my body on the sofa in the living room and stared at the chandelier. It's another lonely day. Nobody with me here, just me, as usual.
I placed the phone on my hand on the table and sighed. After a few moments, I heard the gate opening.
I thought he's going out with... his family?
He hurriedly went in, "Have you seen my phone? I think I forgot to bring it with me."
"Here." I pointed at the phone that I just placed on the table a while ago while remaining in my position.
"I'm leaving." He didn't inform me where else he's going. I just found it out from Arin when she called.
I was the one she talked to. She didn't notice because we also have the same voice.
"I love you."
As if it was said to me. Grr, I should have not replied! Arrrgh.
I sighed and sat. I rested my forehead on my palm, frustrated. Frustrated for being a fool. Frustrated for answering her. Frustrated because... why does it have to be her?