[21k. thanks. I'm honestly speechless. thank you]
Rue's POV
The next day, I was a bit more awake as I'd decided to step into the sunlight, my eyes finally seeing the blue sky as I dragged my feet from the bed & out on the balcony, constantly making sure that I didn't step on any floor cracks.
Tap the wall behind you - or your family will die.
I pathetically started to tap.
I was pretty sure I'd slept through half of the day, because the restaurants outside were serving lunch.
I was also certain that both Lin, Vanessa & Sebastian had done that too - because I could hear Lin snore.
Which, he always denied - of course.
I let the heat hit me as looked over the beautiful view, tapping against the wall & counting. No ending, no certain number just a feeling of satisfaction - yet, that could take ages. I was never satisfied.
I went back inside, keeping the tapping up as I came up with new things to do, letting the door stay open as the light breeze would flew through it.
My phone was buzzing on the floor as I'd charged it under the night, and to my surprise it was Carson, to which I hadn't replied a single text since I freaked out. Which was, about a week ago. He was mildly irritated.
Blink 23 times 4 and he won't be angry at you.
The FaceTime logotype shone brightly on the screen.
Before I could think about it, Carson's face was smiling at me from New York.
"She's alive!", he sarcastically said. I blushed awkwardly, his almost ebony black hair curling on his forehead. I'd missed him. A lot.
"Sorry", I managed to say.
That made his face brighten up.
"Apology accepted. How are you?", he asked in such a particular way, straight to the point.
"Good", really meaning it. "You?", I questioned, trying to balance my phone on the edge of the bed, focusing on that as I blinked a lot.
"It's great - AND YOU'RE IN PUERTO RICO?", as he shrieked that, almost shouting from excitement, I had to turn down the volume.
"-um. Yeah. I'm totally gonna get the worst suntan ever", holding up my still very unfortunate and broken arm, that was still contained in the yellow cast.
"True. Once I fell asleep in the sun. With my hand on my stomach. Not only did I win the award for the worst suntan ever, but I also got sunstroke", he said, which cracked me up.
Sunstroke? Maybe you'll get that? Tap.
"Okay, okay, that beats me...", but I let myself get cut off as something else caught my attention, which got me to glance over at my door that was creaking as it opened. I smiled as I saw Sebastian coming inside, his fluffy hair even fluffier from sleeping.
Do you feel my heart saying hi?
"Ah, hi Seb!", he grinned as he heard his name, the ever-so-happy way only a one year did. He ran over to me, trying to climb onto my bed - but unfortunately failed, as he fell down, just as any puppy would. Still, completely determined to get up.
"C'mon, I'll help ya", I said, scooping him up. Sebastian happily sat down on my lap, holding his favourite train. By this point, I'd almost forgotten I was on FaceTime, so when my eyes passed my phone, I could see Carson in full 'awww'.
Twitch your head 4 times.
Tap the bedding 72 times 7.
Or else, something will happen to Sebastian.
Not a cute moment for me anymore.
"Um, I think I've gotta go, Cars", I awkwardly said. I hated to talk face to face, to be honest - when something else comes in the way, everything suddenly becomes awkward.
Sebastian was trying to reach for my sketchbook.
"¡Hermana!", he squeaked, demanding the sketchbook. I picked it up, handing it to him which made Sebastian cheer.
"Hi Sebastian!", Carson waved at the camera with Odd's paw, his dotted sausage dog that had grown a lot since I saw him two weeks ago. Sebastian waved his little hand back, flicking through the pages. "And Rue, see ya when you're back in town! Adieu, MiLady", he said.
"Bye!", I said, laughing at his sudden change from modern to 18th century language. The screen went Carson-free, and my attention turned to Seb.
He was looking at my sketches, pointing at a certain one.
"You like that one?", I asked, high-pitched. Sebastian nodded proudly. An idea popped up in my head.
"You want me to make that one?", he nodded again at my excited question. It was actually one of the dresses I'd considered for Maria. But, I'd gotten nervous and hadn't showed it to the rest of the group in school. Instead I'd tapped the table a few hundred times. If my one year old brother liked it, I should listen to myself to.
Just organise your pens first. First rainbow, then reverse rainbow, then do that again 23 times.
So, I did that.
And then again, because I thought if I didn't Sebastian might get hurt.
I'm imperfect, but I'm trying.
I turned to a new, blank, page.
"What do you wanna draw, Sebbo?", I asked him after rearranging, which made Sebastian very happy.
"A train, Rueee, a train!", he excitedly exclaimed. I giggled at his request, drawing the first line.
I gave him a pencil too.
He was rather satisfied with that.
When we'd finished our second train and a Tobi next to it, a sleepy - yet energised - Lin walked through the door.
"Daddy!", Sebastian screamed from happiness, looking up. The snoring had finally ended.
"Homeboy!", Lin answered, just as cute as Seb. "Did you escape bed this morning?", he seriously asked.
Sebastian looked down, denying the fact. I laughed.
"So innocent", Lin whispered to me. "Thanks for the present by the way, Niñita. You're the best"
"No problem", I quickly said, trying to get as far away as I could from the compliment.
Snap 23 times. Or they'll die.
"So... what are we up to today?", I asked, snapping. Seb was painting the second train completely red.
"Um, it's half past eleven. We overslept. A bit", Lin chuckled. "So - let's have a swimming pool slash beach day?"
Quick thinking, and it was decided.
About thirty minutes later, I'd taken my meds, and we were down at the pool area - sun hats, swimwear and all.
I'd put on two layers of sunscreen, because I'd read somewhere that it would prevent sunstroke. At least, that was what I could come up with.
Lin jumped into the pool almost instantly. Vanessa giggled, putting Sebastian on the first staircase step into the pool, Lin guarding him as they plashed water onto each other.
Vanessa was humming Come On Eileen, as I was arranging my bag, which made me nostalgically giggle.
Do it again, Rue.
"That's actually funny - that you're humming that. Eileen's kind of my middle name", I rambled, organising everything by colour.
"Like, come on Eileen, stop organising", I lightly joked, with a sarcastic tone to it.
V looked over at me.
"...kind of middle name?", she questioned. I blushed.
"My real middle name's April. Why? I was born in April. I was due in May, so if I was late June was the deal, or if I was premature, which I was, April. Easy way to choose, right?", I said, sad. Expressing hatred with my voice. I shrugged my shoulders.
"But that's just the way it is. Shitty parents & all. So, when I was little I was in and out of the hospital a lot", I speeded up my talking, trying to avoid the memories.
Did you really organise it the right way?
Check it. Check it again. And again. 4 more times. 23 more.
"And my favourite nurse's name was Eileen. Three year old me gave myself that name when I found out about the story behind my 'real' middle name", I added, making quotation marks with my fingers, speaking almost as quickly as Lin did when he was stressed or passionate about something. Or Lafayette guns & ships fast.
"Three year old you did the right thing, Rue. Like Anne of Green Gable and Cordelia", Vanessa said, sitting down next to me. I nodded at the reference, it made me a bit happier.
"I suppose so"
Me & Lin was on a mission to get ice cream, when he got stopped by a few fans.
I was hiding behind him - overhearing the conversation, that casually went; 'Oh my god! You're Lin-Manuel Miranda right? I love you! Can I take a selfie with you?'
Which, I knew, was totally fine with Lin.
When they asked about me I tried to become invisible, like Harry's cloak.
Blink. Blink. Otherwise they'll find you annoying.
As my routines got seemingly longer and the breaks shorter, they left. I wondered if they'd been looking for him for days, or just bumped into him by accident.
"You okay?", Lin suddenly asked. I nodded, finishing off the latest tap-session.
He seemed to keep looking at me with that worried face he had.
Distract him. Don't let him see you weak.
"Shall we get that ice cream or?", I said.
"Yeah", we began walking again, towards the little shop by the beach that, according to Lin, had the best ice cream & coffee ever.
We were stood in the queue, waiting for the old couple in front of us to finish their order, as I picked up the little note of what flavours we were getting. Serving my worries away.
"Really, Rue?"
"Really, Lin. Really", I answered his ironic comment by, as we finally were first in line & Lin started to speak Spanish with the barista.
When he was finished, he laughed at my clueless face.
"You'll pick it up soon, Niñita", he assured me. "And I might've ordered a coffee too", Lin added, so pleased with his decision.
"Of course you did that", rolling my eyes. All of a sudden, he was surrounded by three fans again. He mouthed a 'sorry' to me, as he signed one of the girl's t-shirt, 15 meters away. Soon, more fans joined. The ice cream bar was placed so you could order from the beach walk, watching the waves and or the still sea - depending on what the weather was feeling that day.
As I leant against one of the standing tables, waiting for everything that I suspected Lin had ordered secretely, a man, maybe in his thirties, walked over to me with such an arrogant look on his face.
"Hey, pretty girl", he smoothly said. "Don't scream, or you'll forget it", he strictly said, making me shake from fright. I kept my mouth shut.
Tap the table. Quick. Rhythm. 256.
Blink. 72.
"What's your name, then?", he asked, taking off his sunglasses, like this was a casual thing. I quickly backed away, holding a tight grip on the receipt. He calmly put his hand on my shoulder, making me shiver.
"Leave me alone", I weakly said, my voice shaking.
The anxiety inside of me was building up, like an unsteady building about to fall.
I couldn't breath.
Hold your breath. Don't let go until it feels right.
"I asked you something, pretty", his voice beginning to sound more demanding.
Tap. Tap the table.
I let go of my breath as his hand became tighter around my shoulder, hurting.
I must've done something wrong, right? Did I step on a crack here? Didn't I organise my bag enough?
"Rue", I quickly & quietly said, taking a deep breath as my many thoughts made me hold my breath out of fright.
I was shaking, really trying to focus on doing everything right but everything turned out wrong.
"So, Rue, I thought you could answer a few questions for me while...", his hand was down to my waist.
Still, I was blaming myself as my thoughts flickered in front of me. I felt like the world was getting smaller, like I was being pulled away from reality in my own bubble. My pulse had never been that high.
His hands moved further down.
"No. Please, please, just leave me alone...", I faintly attemped, scared for my life. More routines fell into the situation. More things that felt needed.
I'd put the light switch on off on the real world.
All that mattered was my routines that got worse by the millisecond.
I felt the first tear fell from my left eye.
Tap. Tap. TAP.
Petrified, I couldn't move from my spot.
Or they'll die Rue, they will die if you don't do that perfectly.
Suddenly the man's hand was off me. I was still stuck in my routines.
Panicking, I let go off my breath again starting to breath so heavily, so stressed, like there was a stone in my stomach - dragging me down.
Suddenly, sounds would start to break through my bubble.
"...Get off her, YOU DISGUSTING F*CK!", Lin's shouting becoming louder & louder, pointing towards the guy. His eyes would make lightning bolts if this was some cartoon.
Twitch your head until it feels perfect.
You can't even defend yourself, Rue.
Did you tap 256 times? Do it 4 more times.
The sound barrier was there again, I was too focused to concentrate on listening to the outside world.
A murmur was to be heard though, as Lin calmly and quietly told the man off - in a way that was dripping of hatred and anger.
The man held up his hands, like he was innocent.
"Ey, chill out, man", the man that I had confessed my name to, said.
"Chill?! That's my daughter, idiot!", Lin quietly shouted.
Please don't make a scene, I'll be fine on my own. I was managing. I've been through it before.
Tap. Just 72 more times after this.
Arrange the menus. Do it. Or something will happen to Lin.
Breath, I told myself. You need to get it under control.
Do it again.
"Rue?", Lin hugged me. My tears couldn't seem to stop. I watched my hands organise over Lin's shoulder, not ready to let go.
To my surprise, there wasn't too many people watching. No one seemed to care about what had happened. It had been quietly moved to the side.
"He won't touch you. You're safe, Niñita, you're safe", his light and protective way of talking, somewhat calming me down.
It was nothing, I could've handled it. Maybe if I'd just let it happen, everything would be alright?
Blink so you won't hurt anyone.
Lin gently took my small hands away from the menus.
"Don't. You know you don't have to", he softly assured me. I nodded a few times, finishing off the routine.
You have to.
"Rue", he held my arms. "Take it easy. You're safe. Nothing's gon' happen, Niñita"
In a span of a few minutes, Lin quietly calmed me down as we stood under a sunshade.
Still jumpy, but back to normal, we walked back after our orders had come. I was brushing off my flowery dress, like I was dirty. I felt dirty. Maybe I just had to do it four more times?
Lin was rather pissed at the man, spitting out the words in a rapid speed.
I was completely convinced that everything was my fault, blaming my unfocused self for stepping on a crack, or missing a lamppost to touch 7 times, when I realised something.
"It was that guy from the magazine, the guy that sneaked into your dressing room that day", I whispered, almost afraid to utter those words.
Lin paused his talking for a brief moment, processing my quiet statement.
"We're pressing charges", he finally said.
I hesitated, starting to overthink the situation.
"No. This was nothing, it won't come through & I've been through worse, Lin", I protested. "Please", I added. Lin sighed.
"It's already happened twice, Rue. If he ever comes close to you again, you won't have a saying in this. Alright?", after overthinking the past incidents for a few seconds.
Somewhat happy with the answer, I nodded.
Tap every street lamp 4 times, or you'll be the reason someone close to you gets hurt.
"M'kay"
-----
Hey there! 👋
A looong chapter for y'all today🌻
I'm back at it again - at least trying to - updating once a week💐 (wish me luck)
Taking off with a fluff chapter, and in the middle you got some backstory on Rue, and then some bad stuff happened👌
...how you feeling about it? Did Rue do the right thing? Opinions on overprotective & cute Lin?👀🗺
(tbh my Swedish teacher would fancy this dramaturgy)
Filled this one with a ton of references, as I'd been obsessed with both Waitress & Fun Home recently. The influences of them might've shown. Did you notice the references?😏 and from other things too...
I also wrote this while binge watching the new season of Orange Is The New Black because it's amazing🌚
So, am I ready for summer break on Friday? Yes, very indeed. Finally able to put tests and hw to the side, and focus on fun - like writing, drawing & swimming! 🌊
& I'm so happy with my grades. I worked so hard for them.
ALSO Dear Evan Hansen at the Tonys, I'm so proud of them. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to watch it - bc it ain't broadcasted here - so please, if you know any websites on where I can watch it, please comment! I'd be more than thankful💓
Question of lé day;
How do you say love in your native language?
Me? Kärlek. 🇸🇪
Feel free to comment "love is love is love is love..." in your mother language too, since it's one year since Orlando & Lin's speech💓
Kärlek är kärlek är kärlek är kärlek är kärlek är kärlek är kärlek.
If you liked this chapter - please consider giving me a thought, feedback or critique on the fanfic & a vote maybe? It's all very appreciated!🍃
Don't forget to share the story too💭
Have a great day, smile & live your life,
Sincerely,
C
Published: 12th of June, 2017