I said yes in a heartbeat which didn't surprised him. Umiling lang siya saka nagsimulang maglakad palayo sa classroom. I followed him nang hindi naaalis ang ngiti sa labi ko. I know the question was just hypothetical, but the feeling that he asked me out, it's kind of ego booster for me. He asked, eh di ibig sabihin interesado siya. And that's enough.. No. It's actually more than enough for me.
We walked to the parking lot and stopped in front of his car. Humarap siya sakin at seryoso akong tiningnan. "Are you sure you'll cut class with me?" tanong niya.
I quickly nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. Hindi ko na siya hinintay pang pagbuksan ako ng pinto ng kotse, dahil alam ko namang hindi niya gagawin yun. Pumasok ako pagkatunog ng sasakyan. I was smiling like an idiot habang nagdadrive siya paalis sa university. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi siya titigan. Last time kasi, halos hindi ako makatingin sa kanya kaya ngayon, sasamantalahin ko na.
"Saan tayo pupunta?" tanong ko.
"Anywhere," tipid na sagot nito.
Nanahimik na lang ako. I'm not a nosy person and I don't like pretention para lang magustuhan niya ko. Hindi naman kasi ako umaasa about sa bagay na yun. I'm contented with this. Just being with him is enough.
The car stopped at the river where I always followed him every afternoon kapag hindi kami magkasabay ni Troy. I glanced at him at mukhang wala siyang balak bumaba kaya hindi rin ako kumilos para alisin ang seatbelt ko. I didn't know what to say. Alam kong favorite place niya to and I have this feeling na secret haven niya to.
"How did you know this place?" tanong niya nang hindi tumitingin sakin.
I smiled as I shifted my gaze forward.
"Sinundan kita," I answered shortly.
Silence followed.
I couldn't say if it's awkward or not. Sure, straightforward ako pero kinakabahan din naman ako ano.
"Why'd you chose me over classes?"
"I'm a woman of my words," I simply said.
"So, if you promise you won't leave me, hindi mo talaga ako iiwan?" he frowned as if he doesn't like the idea.
I tilted my head and stared at him for a second then smiled sweetly. "I don't make promises either," I answered matter of factly.
Promises are meant to be broken, so, why promise when you're not sure how constant changes are? I heard him sigh. Sigh of relief? No idea.
Bigla siyang bumaba ng kotse kaya sinundan ko siya. Tumigil siya malapit sa river at tinitigan ang agos ng tubig. I stood beside him and mirrored his gesture. I didn't know this simple things can make me feel contented. Na siguro kahit hanggang bukas pa kami dito at hindi mag-usap magiging kuntento pa rin ako. But I'm quite afraid this became an obsession.
"I start liking her three years ago.." napatingin ako kay Ethon nang bigla siyang nagsalita.
"Melissa?" I frowned.
His lips slowly curving a small smile habang nakatingin pa rin sa tubig. "We're childhood friends and really close. I wasn't aware I was falling for her while we grew up together, until one day, I just woke up realizing that I don't want us to be just friends," he continued.
I diverted my gaze back on the river. I felt a light twist in my chest after hearing his confession. I was caught of guard. Hindi ako prepared sa ganito. Something's pricking in my chest and I can't pinpoint out what it is. My mood deflated and I feel like I crying. This seems like a total rejection. Technically, I've been rejected a lot of times by him pero parang iba ngayon. He genuinely loves her and I can really feel that, to the point that it was able to take to pull out my hidden emotions and break me. Love confession lang pala niya ang makakapagpalabas ng tinatago kong sakit kapag nakikita ko silang dalawa na magkasama.
"But she just led me on, for fvcking three years"
Mabilis na napabalik ang tingin ko siya kanya habang nakakunot ang noo ko. I wasn't shocked to know what Melissa did dahil nakikita kong gusto niya si Troy. But I didn't wish for it to happen. I like Melissa for Troy not because I want her out of Ethon's life but because I want Troy to be happy. They are my friends and I don't hope for any bad things to happen to them especially Melissa. She's a good friend. Sobrang sama ko namang tao kung ganoon ang iisipin ko. Gusto ko lang naman na mapansin ako ni Ethon.
I reached out for his hand and held it firmly. He stirred a bit but to my relief, he let me hold him. Hindi ako nagsalita. I should know that no words could ever ease that pain for we were both hurting. We kept silent the whole time. Nagyaya siyang kumain sa malapit na fast food bago kami bumalik sa university.
"Thank you.." sabi ko pagkapark niya ng sasakyan at bago ako bumaba.
He didn't respond nor glance at me. Napailing nalang ako at napangiti saka tuluyan nang bumaba ng kotse. I saw Troy and Nico standing in a near distance na parang may inaabangan. And when they saw me, Nico waved at me then ran towards my direction.
"Nagcut ka talaga!" hindi makapaniwalang sabi niya.
I smiled at him saka bumaling sa papalapit na si Troy.
"Hinanap ba 'ko?" tanong ko.
He shook his head then glanced behind me. Napalingon din ako at nakita ko si Ethon na seryosong nakatingin sakin. I smiled at him and waved saka ko hinila sina Troy at Nico papunta sa susunod na klase namin.
"Pumunta ka na sa klase mo Nico," sabi ni Troy habang papalapit kami sa classroom.
"Maaga pa, saka hinihila ako ni Lala kaya magsiseat in muna ako sa inyo," sagot nito.
Hindi na nagsalita ulit si Troy. Tahimik kaming pumasok sa room at naupo sa may dulo. Pinaggitnaan nila akong dalawa at nagpangalumbaba naman si Nico habang nakangiti sakin.
"So.. Hindi ka ba mag-ku-kwento?" tanong niya.
Ginaya ko ang ayos niya, pero mabilis na inalis ni Troy ang kamay ko sa baba ko kaya sumandal na lang ako sa upuan.
"Wala namang ganap. Tumambay lang kami saka naglunch," I shrugged.
"Anong napag-usapan niyo?"
"Si Melissa.."
Biglang nawala ang ngiti ni Nico at kunot noo akong tinitigan. Narinig ko namang napabuntong hininga si Troy.
"Why did he even invite you if that's what he wanted to talk about?" medyo iritadong sabi ni Nico.
I smiled at him. Ayokong maging burden sa kanila. Sure it's hurting me, but I won't show it. Hindi naman kasi ako manhid. Ayoko lang makita silang nag-aalala sakin. "Ang saya nga e, hindi na siya nagsungit sakin," sabi ko.
I saw them looked at each other meaningfully, then Troy shrugged. Nagpaalam na din si Nico na magsisimula na ang klase niya. Naiwan kami ni Troy and he just kept silent until our professor came in. I clung in Troy's arm after ng last class namin. He glanced at it, pero hindi nagcomment. I slightly tugged it to get his attention, pero hindi man lang lumingon sakin. Hindi ako sanay na tahimik siya.
"Galit ka ba sakin?" tanong ko.
Hindi siya sumagot kaya napakunot ang noo ko. Hinila ko nang mas malakas kaysa sa una ang braso niya kaya tumigil siya at tumingin sakin.
"Galit ka," I stated then frowned at him.
He started at me for a brief second saka umiling at ngumiti. Dahan dahan niya akong inakbayan saka nagpatuloy sa paglalakad papuntang parking lot.
"May iniisip lang ako," sabi nito.
I looked at him. "Tungkol kay Melissa ba yan?" tanong ko with a teasing tone.
"She has nothing to do with everything I do, Lala. Stop that," kalmadong sinabi nito.
I shrugged then wrapped my left arm around his waist. "Akala ko nag-iisip ka na ng way kung paano mo siya popormahan," I chuckled.
Hindi siya sumagot kaya napatingin ulit ako sa kanya. He's shaking his head while smiling at unti-unting nawala ang ngiti ko. I felt a tug in my heartstring as I looked away. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero bigla akong nalungkot. Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit nang kapit niya sa balikat ko bago niya to bitawan at pagbuksan ako ng pintuan ng sasakyan niya. I smiled at him and for some unknown reason, watching him closing the cardoor on me felt like our worlds will be torn apart. Pero imposible yon! We're inseperable, but then my inner voice are contrasting me by saying nothing is impossible which scared me. And there, I saw Melissa approaching the car with a huge smile na mas nagpabigat ng dibdib ko.
"Kanina pa ba kayo?" tanong niya pagkasakay niya.
I nodded then looked at Troy. He smiled at me when our eyes met through the rearview mirror. Tahimik kami sa byahe hanggang sa makarating kami sa tapat ng bahay ko.
"Bye! Ingat sa byahe," paalam ko pagkababa ko.
I waved at them pero nagulat ako nang bumaba din si Troy.
"Bat ka bumaba?" nagtatakang tanong ko.
He just dragged me inside my house without saying anything.
"Bye!" sigaw nito pagkatapos akong itulak sa loob ng bahay at isarado ang pintuan.
Narinig ko pa ang pagsarado ng gate at ang busina ng kotse bago ko nasilip sa bintana ang pag-alis nito. I couldn't help but smile. Ngayon ko lang narealized na ganoon lang pala kabilis alisin ni Troy ang bumabagabag sa isip ko.
xxxx
Week had passed at hindi na ulit nagparamdam si Ethon after his sudden admission. Palagi ko siyang tinatanong kay Nico, pero palagi ring sinasagot nito na nasa tabi-tabi lang. Hindi na lang ako nangulit, ayoko din namang magmukhang clingy at umastang girlfriend niya kahit hindi naman at mukhang imposible yon.
"Lala.." tawag ni Troy habang mahinang hinila ang buhok ko. "Samahan mo 'kong bumili ng regalo mamaya," sabi nito habang nakapangalumbaba.
I frowned at him habang iniisip kung para saan ang regalo. Bigla siyang tumawa saka hinila na naman ng mahina ang buhok ko. "Birthday ni Mom, you forgot?" amused na tanong nito.
I gasped and my eyes widened. Oo nga pala! Bakit ko nakalimutan yon?! Nasa calendar ko yun e.
"I'm not telling Mom kung sasamahan mo ko mamaya sa mall," sabi nito.
Napailing ako saka natawa. "Sus! Alam mo namang hindi kita kayang tanggihan, Troy. Of course sasamahan kita kahit para kay Melissa pa yan," I grinned.
He shook his head and chuckled then patted my head like a puppy. Nagreklamo ako pero tinawanan niya lang ako. Kakatapos lang ng klase namin at nagpaalam si Troy na dadaan muna sa Dean's office. Hindi na niya ako sinama at pinauna na sa parking. I was a few feets away towards his car when Ethon suddenly grabbed me by my arm and dragged me to his car. Na-shock ako sa mabilis pangyayari kaya hindi ako nakapagprotesta nang sinakay niya ko sa kotse niya at walang sabi-sabing pinaandar palabas ng university ground.
"Ethon? Saan tayo pupunta?" nagtatakang tanong ko habang nakasilip ako sa likuran at tinitingnan si Troy na naglalakad papunta sa kotse niya.
I bit my bottom lip and glanced at Ethon. He looked serious as he pulled the car away from the university. I then remember the sad look on his face the last time I saw him. Kaya kahit labag sa loob ko, tinext ko na lang si Troy at nagsorry na hindi ko siya masasamahan.