trigger warning: mentions of sexual assault/rape
harry ran as fast as he could. he stumbled over himself a few times but he kept going. he didn't know exactly where he was but he knew he had to get as far as he could from that house, from what just happened.
harry could still feel that man's touch, he felt dirty. he didn't feel safe, he felt empty. he felt as if he just gotten any ounce of happiness and light that was within him, taken away. harry stopped, his eyes began to burn from the tears that were streaming down his face. he didn't know why he didn't fight as much as possible. his terror completely overcame him during those moments when that man raped him. he felt like he couldn't do anything. he felt like he deserved it for being stupid enough to think someone actually took an interest in him for something great. he felt stupid for thinking it was a good idea to go over to that man's house. his wife was never there, she would've heard harry's whimpers and cries, she would've heard the rustling and banging that was happening in that room. she would've heard harry as he ran out after that man finished taking advantage of him.
harry held himself as he cried while walking down a street that was unfamiliar to him. he would pull out his phone but he didn't want anyone to see him. he didn't want anyone to know. he was embarrassed and all he wanted to do was disappear. the boy felt different, but a bad different. he felt dead on the inside and his mind was racing with images of what happened.
he couldn't get it out of his head, it was like this nightmare that kept replaying and tormenting him within his own mind. the boy stopped as he noticed that he stumbled across a flower field, he looked around him. he knew that if that didn't happen that he would smile at the beauty of it all. that the view would give him butterflies in his stomach. he would sit down and pick a few as he put them in his hair and enjoyed the moment. but he didn't, the boy began to sob hysterically, as he practically fell to his knees.
he felt weak, he felt dirty, he felt disgusted with himself. he didn't want to even be within his own skin.
harry wanted it all to just go away, he wished he never went over to his house. he wished he never said yes to the mans offer. he wished he hadn't been naive.
he regretted all of it, he hated feeling like this.
and the sad thing was that he knew he wouldn't stop feeling this way.
that what that man did will forever make him feel terrible.
that in the middle of the night, he will have nightmares of that incident.
he just wished that it was all some sick dream and that he would wake up and everything will be okay.
but that wasn't how things went.
----
my first ideas were to actually write the incident but i knew that it wouldn't be something easy to write or read for people.
so, i just wrote the aftermath. this incident has been an idea for awhile. i wanted to show that anyone can be a rapist. you have read harry describe mr. graham as a good person, that he has a wife and a daughter and how he always wore suits to work. now when you think of a rapist, you don't think immediately of someone like mr. graham.
that's why i described him the way i did. because ANYONE can be a rapist. rape is a very, very sensitive subject and should be taken seriously. i did not write this to glamorize or romanticize rape or the aftermath of it. i am going to make this incident's aftermath as realistic as possible. i promise.
i love you guys.
m.