angel °

xliii. love

louis' feet led him slowly up the stairs, he could feel how fast his heart was beating throughout his whole body. he was nervous to talk to harry.

he made it to his door, he stood there for a few moments, recollecting his thoughts and putting together what he planned to say to him.

he knocked on the door, "angel?"

"don't call me that." harry whimpered from the other side of the door.

that statement broke louis' heart a bit but he pushed it away. "talk to me, harry please? that's all i ask."

"you don't deserve to ask for anything from me." harry spat.

harry had every right to be angry and hurt, louis didn't blame him.

"okay.." louis said, taking a deep breath, "at least just listen to me, you don't have to reply, i don't deserve one but please just listen."

harry stayed silent, he took that as a okay. louis sat down, his back to the door as he looked up at the ceiling.

"i am not going to beg for your forgiveness, because granted i don't deserve it. but i will like to let know how sorry i am for the terrible things i let those guys do to you, and how much i've come to fall in love with you. i wish i could take back everything those guys did to you. i wish i could go back and punch myself in the face for letting them do that to you. but i do want you to know that i never laid a hand on you and i never said a foul word towards you or even about you. i'm not saying that to justify what i did because what i did is unforgivable and i completely understand if you hate me," louis paused for a second to recollect himself, he wiped a few tears from his face as he waited for the lump in his throat to go away.

"i am sorry, harry. i regret everything. i was just scared of my own feelings getting out. i hate myself for being such a coward because that hurt you and tore you apart in the process. you didn't deserve to be treated like that. you wanna know what you do deserve? you deserve to be treated like the angel you are. you deserve to be unconditionally happy. you deserve nonstop love and care. you deserve to feel confident and proud of who you are. you deserve everything amazing in this world handed to you on a silver platter. you deserve the whole universe, every single star, planet, and milky-way. you deserve it all. i am in love with you. i know that's a very strong statement to make but it's the honest truth. even before i got your number and started texting you, just seeing you at school made my day brighter, my life happier. i didn't know what it was about you that made me feel that way but i do now. i am thankful to have gotten to figure that out and to have so many conversations with you; even though you had no clue it was actually me behind that screen. do you wanna know what it is about you?" louis asked, getting no reply. but he continued anyways.

"it is the fact that you are radiantly beautiful, inside and out. even though you were bullied, you still found a way to make yourself happy. your smile is one of the most beautiful things god has ever created, apart from you entirely. i don't necessarily believe in god but i know that you are one of his most precious creations. and you deserve to be treated like that." louis' voice began to crack and his nose began to get stuffy. but he continued to talk to harry.

"but i want you to know that what that man did to you, i will do everything in my power to get him in jail. even if you don't want anything to do with me. i can't just let you suffer, not again. i love you, so much. i'll leave now but please, talk to maisie. you need to talk to her." louis finished, he stood up, wiping the tears off of his face and putting a stop to the ones that had yet to fall. he whispered i love you. to harry again before going downstairs.

louis hoped that out of some miracle that harry would forgive him. but he knew that he did have to accept the fact that harry may not.

either way, no matter what happened. he knew he would always love harry. that that boy would always have a special, soft spot in his heart.

nothing would change that.