ellie's pov
Feeling the drag of the last few hours of my shift, I stand in the break room, sipping a cup of coffee - though the taste is far too bitter for me - praying that it gives me the energy I need to keep pushing on. I just need to get home and shower and sleep forever. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and had never been so horrified before.
My blonde hair has become this thick frizz ball and the bags under my eyes have become some sort of permanent trademark. Luckily there isn't anyone in this hospital that I have to impress with my dashing good looks; thank god for that.
"Hey, look who's decided to take time away from her glamorous doctor job to join us commoners in the break room," A familiar voice calls out as several pairs of footsteps enter the breakroom.
I can't help but to let out a quiet sigh to myself. Normally I do pretty well with Chelsea's sarcastic comments, but at this moment, I'm not sure I can take anything from anyone. I simply turn around to give her a small, tired smile.
She looks more alive than ever, probably considering she's doing normal shifts and not being idiotic like myself and pulling a 24 hour shift. She plops down on the worn-in leather sofa with some of the other interns surrounding her.
Though I know she intended that comment to be a joke, I can't help but to notice the bitterness behind her eyes. Chelsea is an incredibly competitive person and seeing anyone else excel kills her; she's always been like that. I admire her determination.
"So, are you going to spill the details of the patient or what?" Another intern, Sonya, remarks, speaking what's on everyone's mind.
I can feel my chest tighten with anxiety, knowing this will not pan out well. If I tell them, Dr. Frenette will kill me, but if I don't, they'll ridicule me and call me a kiss ass.
"Sorry guys, Frenette will kill me," I apologize, tucking my hair behind my ear as I avoid looking any of them in the eyes.
"Typical," Sonya snorts and gets up to get herself a cup of coffee. I awkwardly move out of the way, wracking my brain for some sort of excuse to get me out of here.
Glancing up to the clock, trying to see if a few hours happened to go by so I can leave, I meet Peter's eyes. He's been incredibly silent throughout the whole ordeal, which isn't all that surprising. He flashes me a quick smile of encouragement, causing my nerves to rest at ease.
The other interns can be a bit catty and competitive at times, but Peter and I just sit back and let them drive themselves insane over it all. If he weren't here, I'm not sure I'd be either. We keep each other sane in this hectic place.
As if the angels above hear my pleas, my beeper goes off loudly, echoing through the breakroom. Mumbling what I had intended to be an explanation that I need to go, I scurry out of the room as fast as my feet will carry me.
Glancing down at my pager, I read the small digital letters, telling me to go straight down to Liam's room number. The relief that had engulfed my body as I had an excuse to leave the awkward atmosphere of the breakroom shatters as I realize that something must be up with Liam, otherwise why would they page me?
I rush through the halls, weaving the best I can. My wide-set hips have a clumsy tendency of bumping into things, nearly knocking over an entire tray of surgery utencils, earning myself a dirty look from the surgeon trying to make it down the hall.
Soon I skid to a halt in front of Liam's room, glancing nervously at Dr. Frenette who appears oddly calm for his urgent paging.
"Yes?" I ask, slightly out of breath. I regret not taking up Chelsea on her several offers to hit up the gym. I could really use it.
"When is your shift over?" He asks - more like demands; his tone for every question.
"At 8," I answer, glancing down at my small silver watch around my pudgy wrist that reads 5:15pm. I've been avoiding looking at it all evening, knowing the hours will only drag on if I stare at the small ticking hands.
"Okay, you just need to introduce yourself to Mr. Payne so he's familiar with all the doctors working on his case," He tells me, plopping his clipboard into my hands, "Then you're free to go," He says curtly before walking away, though I swear I saw a glimmer of a smile before he took off.
A gracious smile appears on my face for a few moments, but then it quickly disappears. I catch my appearance in a nearby window, staring back at myself in horror. He wants me to meet one of the most world famous boys while looking like this?
I scramble to make myself appear somewhat decent. I run my fingers through my wavy blonde hair, getting myself tangled every few seconds. I pinch my cheeks a few times to give me some color before doing a quick breath check.
Through the corner of my eye, I catch one of the nurses watching me with amusement written all over her face. My face heats up, turning a deep scarlet before I rush over to Liam's door. I place my hand on the handle before taking a deep breath.
Slowly turning it in my grip, I enter the dimly-lit room for the second time. Only this time, it's not quite as silent and eerie as it had been the first time, when I snuck in.
Soft music plays from a small speaker that must have been brought in for him. I instantly recognize it as Frank Ocean's soft falsetto, singing a song that I have on my ipod as well.
"Hello," I speak softly, not wanting to disturb him too much.
Slowly, I watch as Liam turns his face, with much difficulty until it lands on me. It takes him a few moments before his sleepy chocolate eyes focus on me, but when they do, I watch them widen in surprise.
"Oh, hi!" He says, his voice scratchy and tired. He appears far more alert than a few moments ago. If I'm not mistaken, I catch a soft blush creeping up on his cheekbones, matching my own identical bashful reaction.
"Sorry to disturb you," I quickly apologize, tucking my hair nervously behind my ear, wishing I had run back to my locker so I could at least run a brush through it, "I just came in here to introduce myself," I take a few more cautious steps towards him, "I'm Dr. Vandergelt," I introduce myself, using the traditional name all my patients are supposed to call me.
I can't help but to feel weird having Liam call me by my professional name, seeing as he's around the same age as I am. And claiming the title 'doctor' feels so pretentious and egotistical, especially since I'm merely an intern.
"You're so young," He comments, causing the corners of my lips to turn up in amusement, but he quickly adds, "Not that being young and pretty means you're any less of a doctor!" My face instantly flushes the moment the word 'pretty' rolls off his tonuge, "And I didn't mean pretty, I'm sorry," He continues to quickly spew out words, "Not that you're not pretty, because you are - it's just that - "
I've never seen someone stammer over their words as awfully as I watch Liam flounder in his own sentences. I bring my clipboard up to hide my smile so he doesn't think I'm laughing at him, though I can hardly contain my giggles.
Liam lets out a loud sigh as he closes his eyes and allows the silence to fall between us.
"Wow, I am so sorry," He collects himself, "I just met you and I've already managed to make a complete twat of myself," He groans, slumping his head against his pillow with defeat.
Everything about him just screams endearing. My cheeks are already hurting from so much smiling and I've only been here for less than five minutes. I fight against my smile, trying to appear at least somewhat professional, but it's no use.
A small giggle escapes me, but not at all dainty and girlish. Instead it comes out sounding like a mixture between a cough and a snort. My face flushes red with embarrassment immediately as Liam tilts his head back with laughter. His laughter comes out in small, painful-sounding wheezes. He cringes slightly, but tries his hardest not to let on that he's in pain.
The situation settles heavily on my chest, reminding me why I'm here in the first place. I got slightly tripped up in his dark brown eyes so full of happiness, which contrasts immensely with all of the medical tubes and wires burying him in his bed.
"I'm technically not a doctor yet," I answer him, gripping my clipboard to my chest tightly, "I'm a med-student," I explain.
"Well, I'm sure you're just as good as all the real doctors," He smiles at me, again looking so damn endearing with his head propped against the pillow, wearing a bright grin on his face that warms up the entire chilly hopsital room.
I glance down at my pearly white keds, wearing a bashful smile as I shake my head, crinkling my nose slightly.
"Don't shake your head," He chuckles, causing me to look up at him, my grin unfaltered, "I can tell you're smart by your eyes," He tells me, nodding enthusiastically, "They're big and full of knowledge," He tries to keep a straight face, but the corners of his lips twitch up ever-so-slightly.
My cheeks flush a deep scarlet for the umpteenth time since meeting the charming boy. My mind can't help but to wander back to all the times in middle school and elementary school that I would get teased for having such large, strange looking eyes. They'd always call me 'Owl girl' and chase me around, calling 'hoo!'. Bullies are so unoriginal.
But hearing Liam say that about my eyes, one of the many of my insecurities, makes my heart swell, nearly to the point I feel that it's about to explode in my chest.
"I've never had a patient like you before," I shake my head, laughter bubbling out of me, more effortlessly than ever before.
"The biggest idiot in the world?" He chuckles, creating crinkles at the corners of his blissful chocolate eyes.
"No," I smile at him, "So distractingly kind," I admit, tucking my messy hair behind my ear.
Liam's cheeky grin he wore transformed in front of my eyes into one completely genuine, with a hint of bashfulness, a quality he wears well. A slight, delicate pink caresses against his cheekbones, giving him this youthful, innocent look to him. Which is quite a sight to see on this incredibly muscular man, nearly too big for the hospital bed.
"My shift is over, but I'll be seeing you soon," I tell him as I watch him let out a discreet yawn, as if he were trying to hide it from me.
He opens his mouth as if he were going to say something, but thinks twice about it, shutting his mouth shut again and beaming a large smile at me. Tearing myself away from the contagiously happy boy, I turn to exit the room.
But before I take my exit, I quickly look over my shoulder. I catch Liam watching me carefully, which causes the soft blush on his cheeks to intensify, in return doing the same thing on my own face.
"By the way, you can call me Ellie," I tell him quietly.
"Bye, Ellie," He allows my name to roll of the tip of his tongue, making my sleepy head spin in circles before I shut the door behind me.
liam's pov
I watch as Dr. Ellie Vandergelt walks out of my room, leaving me completely and utterly speechless. I've never felt like such an idiot before in my entire life. The moment she stepped into the room, I practically put my foot in my mouth and talked complete shit. She probably thinks I'm absolutely insane.
I've just never been taken that much by surprise before. The lads left to get some sleep at the hotel and I was left here bored out of my mind, thinking about how awful these next few months are that I'm stuck in the hospital.
Then she just waltzed right in.
Well, not really waltzed. Not at all, actually. She didn't walk with that grace that most girls we meet walk with. She has this off-beat rythm to her step that makes every little thing about her eccentric. I've never met a more facinating looking person in my entire life. She's like a painting; the longer you look at it, the more hidden things you find.
When Niall had told me before that one of my doctors was 'cute', Ellie wasn't at all what I had been expecting. Cute just doesn't quite fit her; it's not enough. She's just got this infectuous smile, that curls up at the end. And don't get me started on the color of her lips. It's the most delicate shade of pink I've ever seen. And her grand blue eyes, more than likely the largest I've ever seen. Looking at them reminded me exactly of staring out into the ocean blue; limitless.
I stare up at the ceiling, replaying the way she bashfully looked down at her shoes, or the way her short fingers pushed her blonde hair out of her face and tucked it safely behind her cute ears. And even though it's a freezing winter, I swore I saw the remnants of a freckle or two on her button nose.
The way my brain keeps digging for more recollections of the girl, you'd think that I was never going to see her again. It's the quite opposite, actually. I'll be seeing a lot of the girl, since she's my doctor.
She's my doctor.
The thought hits me like a ton of bricks, causing the grin on my lips to fade ever-so-slightly. Here I am, incredibly smitten with this girl, when she's a professional. I'm sure she's just as sweet and charming with all her other patients. And here I thought the two of us were sharing a moment between the two of us.
Now why would any girl as unique as her, try to flirt with a boy that's going to be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Who would want a washed up teenage heartthrob?
I shake my head, trying to rid it of all it's seeping thoughts. I'm being incredibly overdramatic at the moment. I've only met the girl, and I'm already driving myself mad over her. This is always what I do. I overanalyze in my head, constantly worrying.
Perhaps I'm not even ready to be looking at another girl like that. It's been eight months since my horrible breakup with Rosalie and I'm still not sure if I'm completely over her. She was the first girl I actually fell in love with. A hundred percent of my soul, body and mind was devoted to her, and when she just ripped that to shreds, I'm not sure if I can just come back from that. Ever.
I let out a groan, slumping over in my bed, half burying my face in my pillow. This is exactly why I didn't want to be left alone. I knew my mind would wander to the dark depths that I work so damn hard to suppress. But of course I'm too pathetic to actually ask someone to stay with me.
Louis was completely right. I have a tendency of putting everyone in front of myself, and putting all of my energy into making sure everyone else is fine, I forget about myself from time to time. And then when those people leave - like Rosalie - I'm left with a big empty hole inside.
I let out an exhausted sigh, though I've only been awake for a few hours. This has been the most tiring day of my entire life. Part of me - a tiny part in the depth of my chest - can't help but to hope that I'll fall asleep and when I wake up, this will all have been one awful, awful nightmare.
But as a frustrated tear escapes and makes it way down, soaking my hospital gown, I know that I'm never going to be graced with that sort of miracle. Perhaps never again in my entire life.
I've got to learn to just accept that.
I'll never be fixed.
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an: hello everyone! ahhhHHHHhhH so ellie and liam met finally! jfdksla;fa i think they're both so adorable and cute and fluffy. i already adore them so much. but i still feel bad for poor liam. again, i apologize for it being so depressing! i'm trying to make it a bit more light-hearted, but ya know, what else can you do in this situation?
i'm trying to think of ship names already, idk about you guys. haha.
elliam?
lillie?
any othehr suggestions?
this chapter is dedicated to @PerksOfLovingNouis bc she leaves such long, thoughtful comments that i really really appreciate! so thank you! <3
keep commenting everyone, i truly love them all! i try my best to respond, and i'm going to keep dedicating to those who consistently leave lovely comments :)
love always,
perksofbeingaweirdo