Chapter 56
Dinner was quite nice. And when I say that, obviously, I mean the food. I filled up on all I could - I was starving - and it was awesome. Even better though was how warm everything felt between everyone. I mean, yes they were a family, that's how it should be. But after all that's happened, I know it was a treat for the family to get together like this. After all, they have been scattered these past few weeks. Francis was staying in a hotel to just to be safe and cautious until he is fully out of the gang. That meant Brooke was staying with Jan and Shannon here at the apartment. Add all this tension from worrying about Luke and I and I knew it was just a relief tonight. Everyone was happy and safe. I never thought about how people often take that for advantage until tonight.
However, it was getting late enough - for a school night anyway. So when Francis decided to leave and head back to his hotel, he did it because Brooke also had school. He kissed Brooke goodbye and thanked his mother and sister for the, 'could-be-better-but-good-enough dinner.' Luke and I headed out at the same time to head back home - because it was late and because Luke wanted to talk with Francis privately as we walked out towards the parking lot.
When the three of us with me holding Jack to my side stepped outside of the apartment, a soft breeze brushed over my skin. Over my skin and blew the stray hairs from my bun back slightly. I was wearing my winter coat still but I could smell the brink of Spring in the night air. It was the scent of freedom, of warm weather coming. And freedom in the sense that Luke and I will be free by the time Spring is over. Because when it gets warm enough, we will uncover Emily and make her free too for everything. Unfortunately, we still had a while until then. Snow was still covering the Earth and the ground would remain frozen for a long while. It all depended on the weather and in Ohio, you can never be sure what could happen with the weather.
Walking beside Francis as Luke was on his other side, they got straight to the point. The first step in the parking lot and on the cement was taken with Luke already asking a question. "Any recent news? Have you gone back?"
Looking up to Francis, he was looking straight ahead towards the mass of cars and the isle we started walking down of them. He pursed his lips as he stared off into the distance as he answered, the lights above us in the lot lit up his blank expression. "I went back once. And all that was said that they were given the orders to back down of any further attacks on you two," he said, smiling softly when he looked down to me.
I sighed in relief. I was so afraid all this would backfire.... It was solid but there were chances. Like Patrick speaking out somehow or the gang hearing about Francis's paying Pauly off and disagreeing with the idea.... Thank god everything was working out great. "That's amazing," I said up to him.
"That is a big relief," Luke said from his other side as we walked. I noticed we were heading towards Luke's truck and had to guess Francis was just walking with us to talk and would go to his when done. "Do you know when you would feel its safe to move back into your house?" He asked in a nice low voice.
"I have no idea," Francis said, burying his hands in his coat pockets. Sighing, I looked down to the ground as we walked, smiling to Jack who was getting aggravated and moved his paws to try to get out of my grasp. "I would guess I would feel safe after another... two weeks maybe. Just to be safe. I want to do it much sooner because I miss Brooke but I don't want to risk it."
"Better to be safe," Luke said, and I could hear his tone change. The double meaning in his voice.... Better to be safe he said in relation to Francis but also to what he said earlier to me. That since Clare wants me out by my birthday, it would be safer if I left even if I didn't want to. Tough shit though. I suppose anything is up for a possibility. As Luke said, we have time to think things through.
"Yeah, I suppose," Francis said. And when I looked up, I saw the truck that was parked a few yards away now. Heading towards it, I sighed. The closer I get to that truck, the closer we are to going home. And I can't express how sick I was of that place. That hell with the devil always waiting inside for us. "What about any progress with Clare?" he said, looking up to Luke.
"Besides finding that doctor I told you about and getting information out of him, no. I still want to ask him some more questions but nothing serious. Besides that, all we are waiting for is the ground to thaw now."
Francis nodded and I looked down, sighing. Because waiting wasn't just waiting. It was torture with her always hanging off Luke, the horny bitch. Torture when she could snap on us any day. Sickening when I had all these terrible scenarios in my head of something wrong happening. The newest one was she isolating us and killing Luke, a theory based on what she told me tonight.
"Well, at least it's finally coming down to it," Francis said on a positive note by the time we reached the car, glancing down to meet my eyes with his hazel ones. Which soon turned teasing in mine and I knew right away what he was thinking and what I knew he would bring up before we leave. Ugh. The balls he had.... Of course, I was just waiting for him to bring mine and Luke's relationship up - which as far as he knew wasn't anymore than a rocky friendship.
Stopping before the truck, Luke unlocked it with the keys he pulled out of his pocket. But before I could walk around to the other side and get in with Jack in my arms, he stopped me. "Do you want to drive?" he asked me, sighing when he looked up between me and Francis. His eyes settled on mine softly and he gave me a little smile, even if it was barely there. "You haven't in a while with your permit."
I gave a long and exaggerated sigh that lasted over five long seconds. Sagging my shoulders, I went up to him and swiped the keys from my free hand. In return, he took Jack from me to hold himself. "Yeah... I suppose, lazy ass," I said in an exaggerated manner, making Francis chuckle as I opened the drivers door and got in. Starting the truck, I shut my door and rolled down my window so I could still talk with Francis as Luke got in on the passenger side with Jack. Of course, I should have known better.
Francis came up to the closed truck door and rested his folded arms against the opening of the window, his face close to mine as he stared in the truck at us. I was scowling already, seeing where this was going as I watched him through the light of the parking lot. His smirk present, he glanced over to me with a playful grin before he looked to his brother sitting next to me on the passenger side.
"So... what about any progress between you two?" he said nonchalantly and I was already rolling my eyes. And you can add in a blush because Luke and I haven't really been too comfortable with each other let alone with talk about our relationship. But hey, at least it wasn't, 'Is the bed broke by now, you animals' or something stupid like that. I wont complain.
I pursed my lips and looked over to Luke. His eyes though weren't glaring at Francis like they usually do when he tried this shit on us. He wasn't ignoring his words though either. His eyes laid on me and only my eyes. His face for the most part was blank. Lips flat as was his eyebrows... and very relaxed. And my eyes were just as frozen on his as his were on mine before I swallowed hard, my breath picking up.
Finally though, Luke looked over to his smirking brother and offered him a smirk himself. "That is none of your business," Luke said back in a soft voice, despite his challenging smile that made my heart jump as I watched him.
Of course though, after that, Francis required my attention... because I can only imagine how he was going to react to that. Hell, how was I going to take this? I was shocked Luke just offered him that huge hint like that and so casually. My eyes grew slightly and I felt my stomach drop at his words. Now, it was time to hear Francis's. Because when I looked over to him, and saw his smirk drop and surprise come over him, I knew he would have something to say. Even if it took a long moment.
He raised a brow after his smirk dropped and he asked us in the most obnoxious voice in this silent space something I wasn't even expecting to be his reaction. "So you guys did the dirty deed? Why did nobody tell me!"
"Um, because we didn't do it," I muttered quickly after to him. And... I didn't know what else to say. I looked over to Luke, who I could tell found this slightly amusing. But more interesting as he observed us. I looked between them as I tried to figure out what Luke thought. What I should and shouldn't tell his brother now that Luke opened up this huge gate for him. As I was about to just tell Francis the truth that we were just together, Luke jumped back in as I watched him carefully.
He leaned closer towards us and said in a calm voice to Francis, "We haven't, you perv. But I am with her. And if you would like further details, you will have to ask Shannon because we need to get home," he said in the most nonchalant voice, so calm, that it made me smile like an idiot. Because I knew this screwed Francis's mind and I liked how Luke did it. Because I know Francis was expecting him to get pissy and defensive and he didn't. He was calm and he actually just revealed everything to Francis. Of course, the best part of this was Francis's realization. And not of that me and Luke were together. But an even better one when I looked back to Francis, biting my smiling lips when I saw his wild expression.
"Wait, Shannon knew before me?!" he said, eyebrows low over his eyes and outrage on his face, his lips parted in shock. And all I could do at this point was just laugh at him. "What the hell?!" he said in a high voice.
"We need to go, Francis. We'll see you later," I said, smiling at his shocked face, and would be happy to leave this 'chat' right there with him freaking out. His eyes moved from Luke down to mine and I saw a strange look in his eyes. Of admiration and a slight shock that I didn't predict. I smiled to him as I watched him just shake his head and compose himself. He stood up straight and away from where he was leaning against the truck.
"You two are a bunch of assholes to have told Shannon... before me!"
"We didn't tell Shannon. She caught us," I said, smirking to him myself and at that point, Francis was bent over and laughing like an idiot. Laughing hard in humor and disbelief. I held in my own laughter at his reaction. Shaking my own head, I looked back over to Luke... whose eyes weren't on Francis freaking out. They were on me and smiling in humor as well. He shook his head at the whole matter and I just chuckled and rested my head against the seat. Like we were sharing this moment of amusement, knowing he would flip out.
"Oh god! I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it this whole time!" Francis shook his head in amazement after he stopped laughing and stood up straighter, crossing his arms after he pointed to himself. "I am a goddamn god with gifts," he said proudly as he started to back away and over to where he was parked a few down. "See you losers later," he said with a smile as he turned and headed towards his car, making me scoff under my breath.
Shaking my head, I put my attention back on my objective - which would be to drive home. But before I could, I turned and looked over to Luke, smiling. His eyes were in mine, caressing me... but I noticed that his amusement was fading. And a certain sadness was replacing it. Sighing, having a good idea why that new look came over him, all I could do was put my attention on the road. So I put my belt on, adjusted the mirror and shifted the truck into drive. Not another word was said and by the time we were on the road and I was driving, I could feel that sense of slight awkwardness come back. Not much... but just the little layer that has always been constant if it wasn't worse.
It wasn't a long drive. Depending on which way you look at it, that could be a good or bad thing. Though there was that tension, I preferred it over going home. After that little talk I had with Clare today, I could tell it damaged my tolerance. I felt so tired and sick of that place... to the point where I pulled into the driveway and felt the energy in me drain or turn negative.
Sighing after I put the truck in park, I took my sweet time getting out and taking the keys as Luke got out and took Jack. I took slow steps when Luke and I headed up the driveway and towards the house. And with every step... I was getting more pissed off by the minute. At that bitch. At this place. At Spring for not getting here fast enough. My steps got heavier and longer each time until Luke was walking ahead of me. By the time he got to the door, I was just at the porch steps. But... I didn't want to move any more. I didn't want to punish myself and go in. I just wanted to take in this fresh air that wasn't as suffocating.
Just as Luke unlocked the door and put Jack down to go inside, I watched him stop and not go in the house. He looked behind him with confusion to where I was standing at the bottom of the steps. I was breathing hard and just didn't want to go in. I wasn't going to be a baby about it. I'll just sit out here for a few more minutes, no big deal.
"What's wrong?" he asked quietly.
I shook my head as I took two steps up and turned slightly, sitting down and facing out into the yard. I looked up to him as I answered lightly as I was now sitting on the wooden porch steps. "Nothing," I said, smiling gently. "I just want some more air is all. It's nice out," I said, looking up to the night sky... into the woods... nature. The one thing that gave me relief at living here all my life. Nature and outside and seeing the limitless sky look back and down to me. Always was so relaxing... I was feeling better here than I would be if I went inside. And considering it was one of the first warmer nights out, I wanted to take advantage of it.
I heard Luke take a few steps back and towards me and I waved him off with a light chuckle as he started down the porch steps. "No, it's okay. You can go inside, I just want to be out here for a bit," I said and lowered my eyebrows at the last part when I saw him go down to the cement before the steps and look up to me, his hands on his hips and an understanding look in his eye.
"Yeah, I know," he said to me. "Do you want to maybe go for a walk instead?" he asked in a nice voice and... as I thought about it, a walk sounded nicer that to sit here. I thought it over and though tension was clear, I couldn't seem to care. I missed spending time with him.
I nodded and stood up, moving down the steps until I was standing before him. "Okay," I raised my eyebrows. I gave a dramatic wave of my hands for him to start. "I shall follow the leader."
He nodded to me as he started walking as I did at his side, following him wherever he wanted to go. There weren't too many options. But I was happy nonetheless that we wound up walking through the woods. It was still easy to see with the snow on the ground and making things much more visible for us in the dark. We walked side by side through the bushes, the trees and it was nice without much in our way. With only an inch of snow under us, it was easy and some parts were bare with dirt. My eyes stayed up for most of the walk though. After all, it was a nice night and the moonlight above us lit the woods well. And Luke too when I would steal glances of him next to me.
We said nothing yet. Which, I wanted to change when something I was wondering entered my mind. "Why did you tell Francis that?" I asked him quietly, watching him curiously. When I spoke, and interrupted the silence between us, it felt unnatural and awkward, uncalled for maybe. But kill me for being curious and taking advantage of being with him. We saw each other usually at dinner or watching TV and both those involved Clare with us. Then when we headed up to bed, we didn't say much. It was agonizing.
"Why would I tell Francis...?" Luke repeated as he looked down to me as we walked, eyebrows dipping and that sadness that swam in his emerald pools came through. "Why, is it now not true any longer?" he asked in an even softer voice, which made my eyes widen in panic that he suspected that. Suspected that I didn't believe we were together any more. It made me feel sick to have that thought run through his mind.
"No!" I said louder and fast, panicked. "No," I shook my head as we side-stepped a few broken branches along the wood's floor. "No. I just wanted to know why you chose then to tell him," I sighed.
He sighed himself as he looked ahead when he answered. "I just thought... why not, you know? Not to mention, I wanted... I don't know, to sound sure about something between us," he mumbled and it made my heart jump. Because I knew that was very true to him and it bothered me. That he said it just because he wanted to sound confident in our relationship.
I groaned at those words and looked up to him. Most girls might say, 'oh I'm sorry I made you doubt your place in this relationship' or 'don't think like that, everything is fine with us.' But nope. Not me. This hit a nerve as I scoffed. "Luke, that is pure fucking bullshit," I said, gripping his arm and making him stop. I stared up at him and saw his eyes widen. "You know damn well that nothing is broken. You know damn well I'm working on it. And you should know you don't have anything to worry about unless you want someone better than me. But that in no way is the case with me, you big dummy," I said in a low and stern voice up to him, smacking his arm lightly. "You wanted to sound sure, confident? Why the hell wouldn't you be?" I said in a softer and more begging voice, searching his eyes.
"Because... I don't know what to do. I want to give you space. You need time, I know that. But... I'm just afraid that I pushed you away when I told you that. That I screwed up and didn't wait longer to tell you. You're so fragile, no matter how tough you are," he whispered. "And I'm pissed off at the same time because it's frustrating not knowing. And it's frustrating knowing that it's because of your past that this is hard for you" he scoffed, shaking his head.
I swallowed and sighed as I looked up into his guarded eyes. His grimace but his body relaxed, I could tell. Before he could even finish speaking, I was shaking my head and felt frustrated myself. I pursed my lips. "We said no teenage drama. So stop being a teenager," I said as I pulled him forward when I grasped his coat and wrapped my arms around his back inside his coat and around his neck tightly. Resting my head on his chest, I hugged him to me and I felt a throaty chuckle erupt from his chest at hearing my words. "Because you should know that I don't feel pushed away," I said gently. "And you shouldn't have to worry about the right or wrong time to tell me things. All this is my fault. So please don't worry about pushing me away. I'm afraid I pushed you away," I sigh under my breath as I closed my eyes, my cheek pressing into his cotton shirt. When I felt his arms wrap around me in return, his coat surrounded me with his arms too as he held me to him as well.
"So that's why I should stop being a teenager?" he said in an amused voice.
I smiled against him and it felt so good to be with him this way. Tension was still there and would be for a while longer. But... I am glad this happened. Because he knows he didn't drive me away. I wasn't ready to tell him yet... but he understood now where we were in this mess. "You should stop being a teenager because we said no fucking drama about this. Because there was nothing you needed to worry about. So... watch it, copper."
"I feel like an immature kid when I'm with you, not a grown adult. Blame that," he said. "But if you start acting like a teenager like I just did, that's where I'm drawing the line," he said in a quiet and very serious voice to tease me, making me laugh.
"Despite me being one, I promise I wont," I responded. And... it was just quite nice. To feel lighter that way. That joking nature, if just a sliver, back between us. And to know that that was bothering him bothered me. I hugged him tighter to me and we stayed like that for a long moment before we finally broke our embrace and moved apart. After all this was a walk; I think that meant we should walk... we weren't that America to not know that. The awkwardness increased... but not by much. The mood was significantly lighter and it was the first time it's been like this since this stupid thing started between us.
The rest of the walk was quite silent even with the mood lighter. But I knew not to worry. I needed my time but I recognized that it took a toll on him more than I thought. I knew he was pissed about the whole thing but I was happy that hopefully we both understand better now.
***
By the time we got back to the house after our nice walk, it was quite late. And though it was a school night, I didn't care because it was worth it. I was happy to delay coming into the house and felt a little closer to Luke now at least. However... I kind of wished we stayed out later. Because with what we discovered when we were heading to bed changed the whole game.
I took a shower, got cleaned up, and put my pajamas on. Jack was sitting on my bed and wagging his tail, waiting for me. Yes, waiting for me to come to bed. He loved sleeping at my side because I would always pet him to sleep. So, just as I got under the covers, you can bet Jack was already laying next to me on his back, looking at me and waiting before I was even settled. I narrowed my eyes on him. "What the hell, little guy? All you do is use me," I smiled and laid down and patted the bed for him to come closer, which he happily did, crawling up and closer to my chest.
I started to softly pet Jack and felt how late it was hit my body. I was already close to falling asleep. Of course, the lamp was on though and lighting up the room. Including Luke when he walk in after I heard the door open. Dressed in sweat pants and one of those baggy tee-shirts he wore to sleep. He glanced to me and gave me a small smile, even if it was a filled with tension between us. His attention moved away too fast though as he got the blankets out from my closet and the sleeping bag. And as I watched him make his bed on the floor, and lay down finally, I felt my heart jump when he said something that hadn't for a while. "Goodnight, Albany," he said in a soft voice.
I smiled gently and took a deep breath. "Night Luke," I said back as I watched him reach up to my bedside table and flick the lamp off. And lost in the nice darkness we were comfortable and exhausted. So it didn't take me long to fall asleep as I laid there petting Jack.
However, I woke from what seemed to be a short night of sleep. And it was because I was being shaken. And my first thoughts were that me and Luke woke up late and he was trying to get me up. If my clock wouldn't go off, he would shake me awake. All I could do was pray it was because we were late for school. If that was the case, I could be stubborn and not respond. My half conscious mind was already there, refusing to open my eyes. But as I felt him shaking me more without saying a word... it made me curious. Why wasn't he calling my name to wake up? I didn't get it... but the more he shook my body to wake, the more conscious I became. And I started to see the red of light through my eyelids. I instantly assumed the sun was out.
That wasn't the case, as I soon found out when the next feeling came over me. And that was of a hand that slid over my mouth as I started to open my eyes. The feeling was interesting... skin against my lips and I knew it was a hand when I started to wake more. And when you feel a hand clasp over your mouth, you know it's time to wake up. I felt myself audibly gasp and it was muffled slightly. It could be a rapist, a robber, or myself... those were my first thoughts and I was pretty sure it wasn't me. My eyes forced me to the surface as I woke enough at that startling feeling. However, it was neither a robber or a rapist. It was Luke.
The lamp was on and he was leaning over my bed and over my sleeping self. Which, you know, is pretty common when someone is sleeping. So I didn't understand that crazy look in his eye. His green diamonds were wide and he was fully awake. I would have started bitching because I was tried but the hand over my mouth stopped it. It also stopped my protest instantly of his hand being over my mouth and covering my words as I tried to speak. But before I could give any more attempts after I started to freak out, he relieved me.
I stopped when my cleared and I saw him do something. Make a sign, a gesture. He held a finger up to his lips and shook his head. And with his convincing and begging eyes, I did as he gestured. I stopped struggling to try to speak and just stared up at him in confusion as he was staring at me. He watched me for a moment, studying me, and when he saw I was still, he signaled with his finger to be quiet again.... I can only imagine how my face looked. I was so confused.... I mean, what the hell could this possibly be? I knew it couldn't be good if he didn't want me to speak.
I nodded up to him, telling him that way that I understood to stay quiet. And slowly, he moved his hand away from my mouth and stood back up straight. I was tempted to ask what all this was about but I knew that, according to his freaked out expression with bed hair, that was a big no. Staring up at him, I sat up in bed and watched him carefully, not understanding. I looked around my room and everything looked fine. The clock read 3:12am which meant I didn't miss school unfortunately.... Luke was the only unusual thing I was seeing. But it didn't matter. At this point, I was freaking out at knowing something happened to the point where I can't say anything apparently.
As I stared at him, fully up now. I noticed him make another gesture besides putting his finger over his lip to tell me to stay quiet. He raised his hand and gestured for me to get up and follow him as he took a few slow steps towards the door. I was still just going 'what the fuck' in my head this whole time but I trusted him. I wanted to know what this was all about so I got up from bed and followed him to my bedroom door, which I saw was already open. He must have been up and left my room already....
My eyebrows low over my eyes, so confused, I followed him as he headed around to the stairs. Then, I followed him quietly down the stairs and I can only guess at this point that being quiet had to do with not waking Clare. But to not say a word from the time he woke me up.... What? I followed him downstairs and past the kitchen entrance. We moved down the hall towards where the bathroom and garage door was. Luke though stopped in front of the door to the unused garage and started to open the door....
At this point, I bet you were expecting a dead body to be laying in the garage or a wild animal. Hell, that's what I was trying to mentally prepare myself for. But when he opened the door and flicked the light on, I saw nothing when we both entered the cold garage. All was the same... as was the cold cement we were both standing on in our socks after we entered. And when he shut the garage door and was facing me, he finally said something.
"We have a problem," he said. I could see the rings under his eyes but he was anything but ready to go back to sleep. Something was really getting to him and I couldn't understand what it could be.
"Okay. What is it?" I asked worried, guessing I could talk now. But about what? Why? "Why are we in the garage?"
He took a deep breath and raised a hand, running it through his hair in distress as I looked at him carefully. He swallowed as he looked down to me. But that wasn't enough to drive the importance of what he was about to say. So he leaned forward and grasped my shoulders, looking even deeper into my eyes. And after what seemed like a long moment, he finally spoke. "I found a bug. I found a microphone. Your room... is bugged. Clare bugged your room and who knows, maybe every other room in the house! And who knows for how long this has been going on...."